Sylph

I hope I don't need to explain the birds and the bees... Espcially not to a thirty year old .___.;

For me it's genetic (my dad gets it almost as bad as I do) but it makes sense, you wouldn't have been exposed to as much pollen as everyone else so there's less oppurtunity to... build up a defence against it I guess. Allow your body to recognise it as a non-offensive substance.

That sounds about right. Finally after a good few months of the harsh cold and icy rain, some sun shine has decided to appear. So everyone is generally in a better mood. Except for those who are allergic to pollen, like me ;_; My past relationships have seemed to revolve around sessions though.

The fundamental problem here is that people are trying to devide other people into one-size-fits-all categories. This is not how the world works. There are no innately 'nice guys', just like there are no innately 'jerkish' guys. People are just people, everyone is capiable of being a wonderful person at one moment and scum of the earth another time. The problem is people will conform... if a couple of people think that romance and dating is a "game" and that people can be filed and stored then other people will generally follow. Inturn spend their time trying to change themselves to fit into the mould of certain types of people. In short, it's all crap. And sadly it seems to be most prominent in America, I feel for those people stuck deep inside a communities that thinks all these things are the correction way to live.

Agreed. Most bed room problems can be solved, or are caused by, a lack of communication. There could be any number of reasons that he doesn't want to have sex with you, it's possible that maybe he does have a sex drive but is having erectile problems and is embarrased.

To be honest I don't know where the '1/10 people are gay' statistic comes from but I've never had any qualms with it. Maybe this a no brainer but you can't tell appart everyone who is gay and who isn't, it's not stamped on your forehead. You'll probably never find out a person is gay unless you actually ask them, most people don't go around introducing themselves as 'Joe Blog - I'm gay'. Of course some people are affriad to tell anyone about their sexual preferance but as I said, not everyone wears it like a badge of honor. I think I do have to agree with the "train themselves" comment, but not maybe in the way it was meant. People do have to do a certain ammount of "discovery" if you were, if they're not exposed to anything other than heteorosexuality then the concept of homosexuality is going to be a new expierence to them that they'll want to explore. Also people in this situation who do find that yes, they are homosexual or indeed bisexual, usually will look for ways to express this new found indenity. They'll do this through what we see as "gay culture". However, as someone who is bisexual and has never been part of any kind of gay culture scene, I don't like the way gay culture is presented as the way all homosexual and bisexual people like, because that just isn't true. It's also probably the main reason why people are surprised when they can't tell a gay person in the street apart from a straight person. I agree with novaseeker on the "gay gene" thing, personally I couldn't care less about the subject. I don't care why I'm attracted to both men and women, I just am and I'm prefectly comfortable with that. I'd like to say though that frankly I believe that everyone's sexuality is blank at birth, we are infact all bisexual, the only thing that stops us from realising this is society and religion. The chances are most of you will spent most of your childhood only ever being exposed to heteorosexual couples unless you have gay parents. This isn't neccisarily anyone's fault but I do think there's a serious lack of education that needs to start young, kids learn very quickly to be homophobic. I have to actually respect you for saying that as someone who is straight. 99% of men seem to think that admiting they've had flash thoughts of homosexuality will turn them into raging benders. It's perfectly natural, see what Fraude (sp) has to say about the subject.

I can only suggest that you cry as much as you need to. Crying is much like throwing up, it's the last thing you really want to have to do but you feel much better after doing it. Do some crying, get some sleep and then review your situation after you've woken up.

I can't really comment on the drug itself, never having been on any kind of anti-depressant myself, but I can suggest that if you're worried about it you could always seek a second medical opinion. That isn't an uncommon occurrence.

This is really something only you can answer, you should feel comfortable with entering a relationship before you do so. Which may seem like a no brainer but honestly, there's no set time frame in which you should obey. Look into yourself make sure it's something that you want to do and can handle.

Agreed. If it comes to it I really wouldn't beat yourself up too much if she does decide to break up. As it's already been said it does sound you care more about her than she does about you, if that's the case the last thing you should do is blaim yourself.

Don't get me wrong, I'll admit that while I did just want to be heard at that moment I was looking for recognition by other people. But this is just on this occasion, this must be the second time I've ever out spokenly admitted personal problems. I don't really get what you mean by dumping on you though... If I sound annoyed I'm not. And no, I didn't do anything for my birthday. I didn't want to do anything, I certainly didn't want to go out. Not that I had anyone to go out with.

Have you not explored the possbility that you might be bisexual? I always fail to understand why people think you're either heterosexual or homosexual. But to be honest it sounds just like lust to me. The fact that you want penetrative sex of some kind is perfectly normal, people's sexual preferances and desires change over time. You might find that this is just a phase that'll go away after time but I wouldn't be worried if it didn't, as I said it's not a sign to leave your partner. All in all if you're really that worried about the situation then I suggest talking to your partner about it, it's obviously important to you and who better to talk to it about?

Then I'm sure you'll understand when I say that it's easier to say than do. I don't know how to break this cycle. And I might have to accept the possibility that there isn't a solution at the moment. Maybe when I start earning a little money, enough to afford my own place (saying that the chances are I'll have to share with two or three other people if I want to live in London) I'll pluck up the courage to at least visit a mental health clinic or a GP, if I'm feeling daring. For now I don't feel any realistic solution has made itself apparent.

You've just been waiting for an excuse to post in this thread =3 EDIT: I just released that second comment sounds kinda rude to anyone who doesn't I know you. So yeah, it wasn't >_>;

Well if you spend five minutes on the internet looking up sexual fetishs you'll find that's quite true. As much as sex is based on emotional attachment for some people, it's also based on instinct and lust that doesn't obey any sort of logical thinking. Which is why we have things like rape and odd sexual fetishs that make baby Jesus cry.

Playing with your hair while talking to someone is one way of flirting without being too invasive or imposing.

Mmm, I guess. But I wouldn't put too much emphasis on it. As I said having no build up probably wasn't great, he could be the love of your life but if he just jumps right in there with no warning then I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't that enjoyable for you. All I can suggest is that you try again, just don't let him go full steam ahead.

A relationship is defined whenever you both recognise it as being a relationship, there's no set critera for slapping relationship status two people seeing each other. But I suppose you could say as soon as they start having 'relations' of serious intent would be good enough to call it a relationship. I really don't think you have to be seeing someone for X ammount of months before you're allowed to recognise what you have as a relationship.

Well nerves usually makes sure you completely fail to get turned on. Then again the fact that there was no build up could equate for that. And you're the one who has to tell us how good a kisser a was.

Well there are different thicknesses of condom available. As fun as watching porn together is, 9 out of 10 times it's really, really bad as any kind of referance at all. Really nothing beats practice and experimenting.

I'd suggest communication but I know it's actually really difficult to find the courage to give directions when it's being done to you. Which sounds really silly but it's true enough. The chances are he'll say he's enjoying it no matter when you ask him but you can feed off his physical reponses, I'm sure you've noticed him react just after you've touched a certain spot or done something in particular. Especially the spot Jhodas mentioned, I can confirm that feels good~ Cupping his testicles was also mentioned, some guys like that but other don't, the only reason I mention it is to tell you to be careful. Pulling or squeezing too hard can be a really bad mistake and will more or less end all pleasure right there while he recovers. One other thing that might not seem so obvious, you don't have to have him in your mouth all the time. Licking along the length can be very pleasurable and usually a good place to start with rather than going right in. Remember that sometimes less really can be more. Also, don't worry about the condom thing. All women have personal preferances but at the same time I wouldn't worry about STIs unless you know he has something. I make sure to be extremely careful about using protection but I've never felt the need to use one (or been asked to use one infact) for oral sex.

This is entirely correct. Communication in a relationship is a must, it's important to be at least honest with each other's feelings. If you have something on your mind you should say so, the chances are putting it off and just 'putting up with it' will only develope into something worse. It is entirely possible that she doesn't know you want to communicate, it's entirely possible that she wants to talk but isn't sure if you want to or not. Just find a suitable situation where you can talk without interruption (if she's affriad about someone walking in or over hearing the chances are a serious conversation might not happen), just let her understand that you have concerns and would like to talk about them. She might not open up to this immediately, it could take her a while to process this properly and decide what she wants to do. If it turns out she doesn't want to communicate then really all you can do is wait and be there for her if she decides otherwise. It sounds like a delicate situation so I advise that you remain patient.

Only if you're concerned about possible STIs.

Dako got it pretty much right. Sex isn't supposed to be a... function, it's supposed to be a pleasurable experience. That should answer your question about 'when does it end?' You're just supposed to enjoy it. It can end when either or both people orgasm but it's not exactly unheard of to stop before that point. Bare in mind that once a guy does orgasm usually the penis will stop being hard, and that makes sex rather difficult. Some guys do still stay hard but as with a lot of sex issues it differs widely. And the women can say to stop during sex. It would be worse not to say anything and go on pretend you're enjoying it when you're actually in pain. Saying that the first time can be painful for a women and expect bleeding to occur but don't worry about it. Oh and you'll know when it's in, you'll specificily feel it going it and it's not a crime to look while it goes in. Just do whatever feels pleasurable, stop if you need to and use a condom (or something just as good that isn't "make shift")