iamteddybearfeelmecuddle

if i'm out at a club, and it's a guy i'll never see again, i would probably lie like say i have a bf, or i am married. if it's someone who i have to deal with in my day to day life and who knows other people i know, then that lie won't work. so i would just say, something like sorry but you're not my type, or something like that. i wouldn't want to tell that guy i'm not currently on the market, because then he will tell everyone else that, and well that wouldn't help me because i in fact am.

it depends..i've seen all sides of it.. as i'm sure a lot of people have. for example there have been times..one time in particular i was living with this guy and we'd been together and he didn't treat me very good...ladies...you know... he was mean like pushed me down and slapped me and all kinds of stuff. even left me in the deep woods all by my self for like 14 hours in the winter time! and finally after that i just stopped having any feelings about him altogether..so when i left i was totally fine with dating someone new, like i wasn't conflicted because i was DONE. but like one time i was fool enough to be in a relationship with a guy who'd just broke up with his ex. i was a little leary... but he said, oh, no, we just weren't right for each other, and he really didn't bring it up other than that, so i thought, "ok, this guy is not on the rebound it's ok". but then everything seemed fine for a while if not him being a little too smothering me. but he all of a sudden started accusing me of being too independent and getting all dramatic on me and then eventually we broke up and he is now married to his ex! haha...she can have him...i don't need the drama anyway.

i don't know what that is, you might want to go see your doctor or go to a clinic or something? and maybe they can tell you. i can't tell but did you mean to say that you never had sex? if not, then i don't know how you could have picked up an STD if that's what it is? kissing shouldn't cause that. but try to go to a clinic and maybe they can alleviate your worries. do your parents have insurance for you?

eek that would be kind of scary but its good that you're not judgemental. i don't know too much about hiv, but one time at work they put us all through this class and part of it was bioharzards or something.. anyway, the instructor told us it's like i don't remember some thousands times easier to get certain types of hepatitis than to get hiv. BUT, if i were you i might be a little careful even if you're gonna kiss him. could you get it if he had some sort of scrape or sore in his mouth. just see what you can find out maybe from your doctor. good luck.

i agree wholeheartedly. i think its too weird if you're trying to get to know someone. you should ask to meet, you know somewhere public, so she doesn't get scared, etc. or ask if you can call her? youll need to progress. otherwise it's called stagnation, and you know what comes after stagnation? festering...lol... and that's just not good.

i think its best to just go ahead and ask, if she says no, its not really a big deal. but go ahead and do it ...get it over with, just say, would you ever like to do something... something like that.

ahh, good. maybe now i will consider taking you off my 'list'. for now.

whoa, man. speak for yourself, there... i didnt say anything about requiring phone calls within the next day one way or the other now did i?...marry after 1st date?? huh???

no doubt i didn't respond for the mere reason that i felt it would be a bit redundant.

yep, and while other girls i'm sure are different, i tend to not like being asked a whole lot of questions. i mean a few are ok. but if it feels like he's trying to sum me up, put me in a box, and put a LABEL on me, (can anyone relate?), then, that's not good. sort of try to find out about the person and show an interest in them, but without going to the extent of not respecting their autonomy.

aggie, i personally do not mind being picked at as i am quite happy to give it back, but i don't think it's a good idea to delay that phone call too long. i have issues with that that i have little control over, and i have gone from really liking a guy and looking forward to hearing from him and seeing him again, to shutting off any hope of hearing from him again if he leaves me wondering too long, because it makes me feel rejected and many other things that aren't good, and it's hard to go back or try to trust someone once you've written them off as someone whose not gonna stick around. so your 5 day max thing is probably ok, but its probably not a good idea to push it. again, jmo.

yep it can. hey you might want to look into getting a dog if you are allowed to? dogs are great! also, don't spend a lot of money on frivolous things that will not appreciate such as decoration items. just get stuff that's simple and get a few great functional pieces that you love. ie, i recently bought myself this really cool little 'wishing well' fountain for my back yard, i looked at it for months, and now that i have it i adore it. but try not to nickel and dime yourself into debt on small ticket junk items.

Dako, usually you're so level headed. You're advising the guy to bring up sex on the first coffee meeting. NOT a good idea. IF she brings it up, ok, but he should NOT. i mean what's he gonna say, "yeah, i really liked it when my ex put her tongue there, and she loved it when i put you know what somewhere else."...? .. come on...

i'd like to try to weigh in on this from a woman's perspective. i don't know if this applies to all women, or if i'm just pickier about certain things than other women. i've been asked out a lot. but i can't think of once when a guy didn't do it in person or over the phone. or at least find out if i want to see him, and then call me. it just seems to me, and i'm not sure why, but that even if you once messaged, that once you start calling, to go back to messaging is like going backwards. i would find your method of asking her out to be sort of sterile somehow, if someone asked me that way. so yes you may be friendzoning yourself from your lack of human contact with her. it's almost like being asked out by a robot. or a computer. and setting up a date usually involves a certain amount of negotiations back and forth, such as time, places, activities, if you just sent her that one message, then how could she have negotiated something more intimate with you? or you with her? and you also waited till the last minute. ok, now that i have thoroughly picked apart your style, i hope you will take in consideration what i have said. you can elect to justify or brush it off but i am telling you the truth.

you could wear yourself out trying to get her to see the light about this guy. i have a friend too, who has chosen to involve herself with a LOSER, and to be honest i gave up trying to let her see it. (so did everyone else). i finally just said to her, "well you already know how i feel about it". and when she complains about him, i just say, "if you continue to stay with him then you are choosing to be treated this way. it's your own choice, not his". you can't force people to dump someone. you just can't. you can just try to be their friend, while hopefully not investing too much more then your return.

it sounds to me like the most important and immediate thing for you to concern yourself with is to earn as much money as you can so that you can move out and stay out of your parents house, and also to not have to ask them for any financial help, which could easily be used as a tool to further abuse you. Do not give any money to your mother. I really think you need to leave and not look back, but your degree of separation is up to you.

yeah, i think you would have been better off to have gotten off and called her, but can't go back. maybe you should call her and stop with the online stuff (both of you i mean)?

can't imagine how i would take that as disrespect (?) ok, so your gf doesn't want to seem like 'the bad guy', thereforeeee she's making an effort to get along, dispite your prior report that your gf wasn't ok with it. you're the one who's complaining about her behavior.

online seems like a pretty impersonal medium for you two to be having such a conversation.

he might be just testing the waters to see if there's any fishing out there or not. i wouldn't put much (if any) stock in it at this point. and remember, he is a married man.

so the girl you were doing a little while back shows up, and your gf feels uncomfortable...yeah, it's hard to imagine why...

yeah, breaking up can suck really bad sometimes. you should try to center yourself. it works for me. try to get centered on your own path, and then if someone is trying to take you somewhere you know you don't want to go, you are more able to recognize and deal with it quicker and just get back on your course.

sheesh if you can't handle it then leave the poor girl alone...does she have to deal with all that?..sheesh!

hey miss M and sexy chic i never thought of it like that, that's kind of cool, i might swing over and check into that.

i'm not sure where you get that all frienships start out as having potentional, then someone decides they're not interested. that's just not true. I've got friends who i was never interested in romantically in the first place, (those are my girlfriends), and some guys too. and if things go along and he stays and un-romantically interested in me as I am in him, cool. Both the boy and the girl have to be interested to make a spark, get it? i really think you're screwing up your own psyche, too, it's kind of disrespectful of you, actually, to go around laying blame on women who have done nothing but make the mistake of being nice to you, don't you think?