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iamteddybearfeelmecuddle

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Everything posted by iamteddybearfeelmecuddle

  1. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    i don't think ive ever really left a guy for someone else. if i'm not happy i will make haste to get out, and not waste eachothers time. and if you leave for someone else, you didn't like them that much, so why were you still there? ok sorry not really an answer. i've had a few serious relationships. and have thought about my exes sometimes, depending on whom, thought 'he was nice, but not for me, hope he's happy', or if he was a big jerk i might think more like, 'gee i'm glad i don't have to deal with that anymore'. really only one person did i still love for years, though i knew that it was over, and that it wouldn't work, we couldn't get along. he never knew it, but i did still miss him for years, it was really quite pathetic.
  2. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    your marriage probably is over, or maybe it should be. imo, where you should go from here is directly to a good lawyer.
  3. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    i agree with its all grand, it sounds like you two are looking for different things. some people just don't feel comfortable with labels, but he doesn't really sound ready to be in a relationship. at least he is not misrepresenting his intentions.
  4. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    i think trying to stay out of his path of awareness as much as possible helps too, but i'm not really sure. good luck, he may give up?
  5. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    then don't make such an issue out of it! bye!
  6. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    BB, yes, it's not as simple as changing the number or blocking his emails. you must understand this could actually *provoke* an escalation. also, yes a lot of people do not realize that this type of obsession is not about lovey dovey stuff. in my case it was as if the guy hated me, and loved me, or something weird like that. he was violent with people even suspected of dating me, and also set out about trying to ruin a lot of things for me in my life, and a lot of weird gaslighting and mind stuff was involved. it kind of sounds to me like you and your gf aren't directly dealing with a lot of day in and day out stuff from him, which is good for you, but you want to try not to let things escalate. maybe he will give up after awhile(?) there are three movies that all struck a very close nerve with me. these movies can depict some of the irrational behavior you may be dealing with much better than i can. of course these movies are fictional and overall a hyperbole of the real thing. 1) unlawful entry, ray liotta 2) pacific heights, michael keaton 3) gaslight. (?)
  7. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    exactly. i've always felt that i had enough control over myself to not drag someone really deep into a relationship i really wasn't ready for, so it's kind of hard for me to have too much empathy for people who do, because they're 'confused' or whatever, (not saying it doesn't happen to people, but i do have a hard time relating with that).
  8. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    .....er...."molested"...?.....
  9. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    i wouldn't recommend making an issue out of it at all *one way or the other*. in other words, don't treat it as if like you said, its the 'elephant in the room'. is that all you can think about when talking to a woman?
  10. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    yes, that's what he could have done. much better.
  11. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    oh, yes that might be what she was thinking of... i don't think anyone would like someone 'nitpicking' at them alll night, not much fun there, but yes i like to play a lot, and i can pick on a guy i like a lot. he of course can pick on me too, but you know what goes around comes around....
  12. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    i would never have mentioned it at all or even brought it into this conversation, except i felt the need to refute that Dako listed that as the first suggestion of things you should be talking about with your female interest on your first coffee meeting. it struck me as quite a bit of an 'odd' suggestion, regardless of his age, your age, or my age. ...and yes there is always inuendo which is a different story and it does not sound like that is what dako is actually referring to... so, yes i do think that contrary to popular expression it should be ok to talk a bit about politics, religion, current events, favorite activities....just on your first date try not to be too intense about things, and keep in mind that your date's views on certain topics may be in direct opposition to yours.
  13. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    ok, yes, i'll post it right HERE! haha, just as soon as you stop acting like a big poo! lol..
  14. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    hey, look at it this way, now you can breathe! kind of nice huh?
  15. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    and, geez, sorry for ya! ..lol..
  16. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    i'm sorry, but i didn't stop living and having normal conversation after 17.
  17. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    yes, dako, it's kind of like what 'JORDAN2' said, "sorry i think it's because you are a bit older that that conversation might be a little more appropriate (i'm 17)....and also, notice that your lady friend initiated the 'sex' conversation first." she initiated it first, and actually age isn't much of the issue. i'm maybe gonna see this guy and i do not plan to tell him on our first drink date that "gee i really miss having sex". (?!) and also, if he says that to me...i'm sorry, but i would be put off, most likely to the point of saying, um ok well nice to meet you, look at the time....
  18. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    i don't know though...if she changes her contact info...that's gonna shut off that route of communication, he may then feel compelled to seek out another one, or to retaliate in some way? same thing with boyfriend getting involved, and with the cops. by the way i hate to tell you big ben, but you are at risk too, not just her.
  19. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    lol...it will definitely help, it really will. but genetics, and diet also have a lot to do with the integrity of your teeth. keep up the good work, and you will have success. some say use flouride, some say the side effects are not worth it. one thing i wish someone had told me when i was younger....don't use your teeth for anything other than chewing food (such as bottle caps...) good luck
  20. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    yeah, you really do need to be careful. i'm walking a line here between not trying to scare you and i'm trying to impress on you this could *potentially* be a dangerous situation. and to answer your question yes, he could easily be seeing a girl and still be obsessed with your gf, there's no doubt. think of the other girl almost like a 'cover'. look there was a guy from HS way back when who was obsessed with me for years. the thing is he was good looking and popular and everyone loved him, and yet, everyone also knew about what was really going on, but i guess they didn't care. well i'll spare the details... but time goes on.... and i'm a young adult and i havent seen him in maybe 2 or 3 years so i think maybe its over. i went to a HUGE outdoor rock concert with a big group of friends. well we branched out, and i was at this one spot. and i was up on a guys shoulders for a long time. then he put me down. well after it was all done, i'm smiling laughing having fun and i turn around and start looking up at the crowd behind me checking out the amphitheatre and all that. then i looked right in front of my face. and it was him, he was staring right at me. he'd been standing right behind me the whole time, and i didn't know it. i haven't seen him since then, but i go out of my way to avoid being in any situation where he might be, i think maybe out of sight out of mind. gooood luck!!
  21. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    lol...i love these posts, this is kind of cute. so. your question: you are asking, will doing these things be enough? but enough for what?? that is the true question.
  22. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    unfortunately restraining orders don't really work. look man, obsessions like this can actually be quite serious. i'm not trying to scare you, but you never know he could show up one day at your house, or at her work, who knows, it could happen without warning, i'm not sure how much you've looked into the phonomenon, but it might behoove you to do so. you two both need to be very careful about this. there have been instances with men who have been obsessed with a particular woman for years, and the woman has never even met the man. or she sees him in passing occasionally, like maybe the guy at the newspaper stand. so she's not even aware this is happening. and it can get violent and even deadly. it does sound like her ex is not progressing away from this.
  23. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    i'd rather give him mine, he can't track down where i live by it, as it's mobile. and if he starts telephone harrasing me i'll just block him!
  24. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
  25. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    well first of all please try not to penalize her for her ptsd, i'm sure it's not a picnic for her either. i'm sure though, that it's closer to home for you, since you were with her and you hoped to help out and everything...she was not a good partner for you, and it sounds like she's not emotionally healthy, and you have the right to be hurt. but some times people truley cannot help how they have been conditioned to relate...just be more careful next time you go to get involved with someone...
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