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iamteddybearfeelmecuddle

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Everything posted by iamteddybearfeelmecuddle

  1. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Well I think that the OP is saying not that she believes herself to be better than the other women, but that why is it that the other women's accomplishments (being a mother, homemaking, etc...) is being congratulated, while her accomplishments are either not being congratulated, not brought up, or being downplayed....
  2. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    You might try a few things that might seem extreme, but should help if you really want to deter unwanted male attention: 1) Have a photo of you and your BF, arm in arm, or hugging, (but probably not kissing, as that might be a little unprofessional. Tape it to the front of your station. Put it in a heart-shaped frame, if you think you would be allowed. 2) Wear a big, fake rock on your finger. (too bad he hasn't bought it for you, but whatever works). 3) Wear a large heart shaped locket around your neck, if you can get one that holds a photo, have same picture of you and your BF displayed proudly in it. It's sad to have to go to those extremes but it should at least cut down on the unwanted advances.
  3. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Acceptence is the first step for you!
  4. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    OP, I'm not sure I understand your confusion. She has made it clear that she is interested in only friendship and not a romantic relationship with you, but you are still grasping at straws. She has made herself clear, stop trying to look for ways around it, or you are the one not being a good friend.
  5. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Yeah that's true, I've had guys overreact to very innocent and simple little jokes I've made to try to lighten things up (nothing sexual or risky or off-color in any way!). But, I figure if they're that uptight, and cant understand a joke and write me off that quick, then they really don't deserve me anyway. No big loss.
  6. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Geez why are we talking about kissing already? Have you people even read this thread? They haven't even been on even a casual date yet!! Dontcha think kissing her out of the blue would be a bit putting the cart before the horse? I sure do!
  7. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
  8. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    I have relatives where one spouse is about 8 years older than the other. I mean one's about 58 and the other's about 50. So is the older spouse a pedofile????
  9. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Wow, I can't believe that about making a 27 year old dating a 20 year old a pedofile! Isn't a 20 year old an adult and can date whomever they want? I know adults with SOs or spouses much bigger age gap than that, and can't believe they'd say the older one is a pedofile! Are they really talking about that?
  10. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    When I get married I am open to either changing my last name, not changing it or hyphenating. Haven't decided yet. There could be a lot of factors. My name as it is is a big part of my identity, and I also think it's a good name, yes, a 'cool' sounding name. Hmmm...maybe that's just my opinion, but it is my name afterall, so I guess that's the one that counts. Now if I fall in love with a Mr. Dinkelmeyer, then I'd be more inclined to keep my name than than if I fall in love with a Mr. Barrrington.
  11. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Yeah, I really liked that episode I thought it was a very honest and accurate portrayal of some of the notions in society about priorities and double standards among other things.
  12. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    This is in a way a good thread to read, we all do have problems, and we're all in this interesting ride together.
  13. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Sounds like the other girls were being given a handicap, and no one cared that you knew the answers. Kind of lame. Single women do tend to get held to a different standard than married ones sometimes. I've seen a few epis of Sex in the City that reminds me of your story. I remember one where Carrie the lead character was invited to some sort of baby shower or something, and someone stole her expensive shoes. The Hostess wouldn't reimburse her for the shoes and told Carrie that her shoes weren't as important as the hostess expenses because they were for her. Carrie felt that the chilren and expenses involved with that were also a choice that involved the hostess and why should she think her choices were more selfless. Then Carrie invited the hostess to give her gifts for a party where she was marrying herself. The gift she requested was a pair of shoes exactly like the ones that were stolen. It's hard to explain and you'd have to see the episode, but I remember relating to it a bit.
  14. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    At this point I'm in agreement with Juliana here. I do think you would be jumping the gun to involve the police right now. If I called the police everytime a guy 'Psycho-Dialed' my phone, or begged me to date him or take me back, I would be on speed dial with the police station. Of course I'm not trying to make light of the OPs situation, though, but I do not think that things have escalated at this point to the point where police involvement is warranted. Now should things escalate then that is another story. A restraining order is also a bit of a gamble, it could escalate things, and people tend to treat the person who asked for the RO as if they are a bit nutty themselves. Also, I don't think the OP wants to give the girl a criminal record for begging him to take her back. Hopefully if he is firm with her, then she will realize it's not going to happen and she will move on.
  15. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Yes I pretty much agree with HP's take on your situation. When people get married their spouse is supposed to be their first concern and their social life may change a bit, that's life. Keep in mind they are married and people gossiping about their every move aren't helping. Please wish them well and move on. She doesn't need you to be emotionally involved with her husband, she's taken up that role now.
  16. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    What's that about? It would creep me out...
  17. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Geesh, you've flirted already, why doesn't the guy get some kahunas together and ask you out already? Is it possible that he has a gf?
  18. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    That is probably a good approach. You probably want to try to steer the conversation elsewhere if you can, too. She may hear snippets of conversations, or see glances from some of your coworkers that make it obvious they are gossiping about her. Perhaps they all go to lunch and don't invite her? I guess that's just a loose example of possible divisive behavior that you really want to try to avoid; some people are very intuitive.
  19. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Yes, I think you should try to remain as indifferent as possible. And like I said just try not to treat her with contempt or mistrust, because she will most likely not appreciate that and you don't want her giving you a bad time because of it. One day you will have subordinates and juniors around you and you'll see things from a different perspective. Now, that said I'm not saying it would be ok for someone to be abusive towards you at work for no good reason. Abusive might include yelling at you in front of others, threatening to fire you all the time.
  20. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Yes after just one date I've been known to say something like "You seem really nice but I don't think were a match/ I don't want to ruin our friendship/ blahblah"....of course I just want him to go away, but I don't want to hurt his feelings in the process...At least the guy (should) knows that you're not interested and he is free to pursue other women who might be more interested in him. If a girl ever says that don't take it personally, she may not think you're a bad guy at all, but it does mean she's not interested.
  21. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Maybe you should try being a lot more aloof towards him and see his reaction to that. But if that piques his interest again, I'd say he might not be relationship material, that might be a signal he's just looking for the unattainable, the thrill of the chase. Do you see him playing cat and mouse with other girls?
  22. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Depending on where she lives, of course...
  23. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Yes I agree with that. But the problem as in with my situations described above, is even when you do remain a bit more restrained, and they are all gushy and lovey dovey toward you, and keep wanting you to tell them how you feel and you finally do, and then it's like the chase is over and you're no longer interesting. That sucks even more because by then you've become invested, and you've begun to believe all the lies they told you.
  24. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Yeah, I mean to say I don't doubt that you were nice, just know that being nice is very rarely ever the *real* reason a girl would break up with a guy. The real reasons could be anything from she's not that attracted to him, he's not very nice, he's too stingy, who knows? Could be anything, but...we'll still tell you that "You're a really nice guy, but...." See what I mean. We just prefer to let men down easily and not stir up conflict if we can avoid it so we don't end up enemies with you.
  25. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Hmm..there have been times when I've been dating guys who were very expressive to me verbally earlier than I was. And then when I started to feel comfortable enough to begin to reciprocate, it has resulted in me being taken for granted, and no longer treated as well, or no longer having the same things said or expressed towards me that were before. So that has led me to be that much more guarded about expressing my feelings.
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