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metro_girl

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  • Birthday 10/02/1969

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  1. I think it's great if you want to stay a virgin until you're married. You'll meet the person who is right for you. Don't feel like a freak, either. Sometimes people who tell you that it's odd are just jealous because they didn't have a choice in the matter when they lost their innocence, or they really regret it, but know that they can't get it back. When you don't put the physical part of your relationship ahead of everything else, you'll find the person who is really right for you. You won't be controlled by your hormones. Unfortunately, we live in a world today where people think it's more normal that you've had six sexual partners, maybe two kids by two different people, and have lived with someone for a few years before you really settle down. And if you don't have those sexual experiences, well, then you're just immature. I think it's the opposite. You're showing maturity by making a decision to wait until you're married.
  2. I'm just not sure that I have the same values as someone who would be together with a woman with children for 15 years without being married. I also don't want to be with a man who still feels responsible for an ex and her kids. If he didn't know after 5 years that it wasn't working out with her, and they weren't married, why stay together for 15 years? Anyway, thanks, I guess I have my answer and I won't be interested in pursuing the match with so much baggage. I also have had past experiences with men my age who prefer single moms. I don't know if they ever want to have kids of their own. Or, the single mom somehow looks less unselfish and more self-sacrificing than a woman like me who has focused on a career.
  3. Wait it out and don't contact him again. Let him contact you. I think that you've contacted him too much and you need to step back and let him pursue a little bit more. Guys might like it if you pursue, but it makes you unhappy waiting for him to return messages.
  4. Hello: I've been on one of the online dating sites (eharmony, but wasn't sure if I could post it here). I'm 37, never married, no kids. I have written clearly on my profile that I'm not interested in dating single dads or a man who isn't over his ex. Does this man, who is 40, never married, no kids, really sound single and available if his closest friend is his ex-girlfriend? Or, why were they together for 15 years without getting married? Should I just say, "Red flag and next!" for this match? I asked him this question: "Tell me about your closest friend. How long have you known him/her; and what do you like best about him/her?" And here is his reply: "My closest friend is my ex-girlfriend. We were together for 15 years and I am still very close to her kids, as well. I like the fact that she is a genuinely good person and practices what she preaches."
  5. Hi: I think it depends on your field. The darker the color, the more serious the suit. A dark navy suit is traditionally seen as the interview suit. Black might be too severe. I prefer a charcoal or a light grey. For women, a business suit with a skirt that is at the knee is usually considered to be the most appropriate for an interview, with a button-down blouse that is not revealing from any angle. If you're petite like me, then find something petite. Le Suit is a good line of suits sold in most department stores. Wool or a wool blend is best, but most microfiber suits that don't wrinkle are also good. If you can, buy a starter suit with a skirt, jacket, and pants. You can start to mix and match and build a work wardrobe.
  6. Part of the point I was making is being lost because of this whole discussion about D.O.s and M.D.s The test of "knowledge" was mostly to prove that the other women were equally intelligent. I don't think that's true in a booksmart way. I think it was much easier to marry a doctor for them, than to actually attend school, study, pass the exams, and become a doctor. Even if they wanted to, I don't think they would have been able to earn a graduate degree. My family was trying to make it appear that we women just made different choices with our lives, that I chose school and career over a husband and family. I didn't make the choice that way. I also want a husband and children, and I think I've now finally found the right man for me. I also don't think the women made the choice to have kids instead of attending school. I really don't think they would have been accepted into graduate school even if they wanted to go. They had time when they were younger to attend undergrad school, and they chose not to. They're my age, so it's not like women haven't been going to college.
  7. I would expect that knowing there a 4 quarts in a gallon is not a huge test of knowledge, and the D.O. was being slightly arrogant to assume the "women" at the table wouldn't know the answers. A D.O. isn't a real M.D. That isn't like saying a D.O. isn't a real doctor. I also think admissions standards to most osteopathic medical schools are lower than traditional medical schools. This particular D.O. has a father who was a D.O., and he's a little more than spoiled. If that's not bad enough, he drives a Jaguar. The family has to make over it and make a big deal about it. In this case, he really didn't put much effort into the accomplishment of being a doctor, so my comment doesn't indicate that I'm arrogant or looking down on anyone. My family rewards lack of effort and especially ignorance from girls.
  8. Is it possible you're grieving the loss of your future with him than actually the loss of the relationship? You pictured what a future with him would be like, and now you must create a new future for yourself, and that's probably what's holding you back. Four years is a long time so you probably do miss him. It would be easier for me to move on if I were angry that he cheated and also easier to accept that he's made it clear he's no longer interested in a future with you. When I was your age I wasted a year grieving the loss of a college boyfriend and I really regret it. 22 is a great year!! I didn't start to feel happy again about myself and my future until I was 25, because I went to graduate school and started working. I thought when I was 22 that I would be planning a wedding and all that stuff. Most of my friends who were married that young ended up divorced.
  9. To answer the question, "Is it possible that you maybe are coming off a bit too arrogant?" No, I'm very humble about my accomplishments. The comment about the D.O. instead of the M.D. is similar to comments about Ph.D.s not being "real" doctors, a comment that is made frequently about my degree in my family. I guess you'd have to be there to understand. Once again, this proves my point in a way, doesn't it? An educated and smart woman is often considered arrogant about her intelligence and looking down on others, but a D.O. who hands out word puzzles is called what? I'd say, not a real M.D.
  10. I can only stay through dinner and then that's about enough.
  11. I enjoy listening to music, but I thought 99 Red Luft Balloon from the '80s was about nuclear war. I'm not sure if it was meant to be a feel-good song, but it does have a great beat and you can dance to it (that's from the * * * * Clark American Bandstand show where they used to rate songs!
  12. Yes, Thanksgiving, that day when I get to see relatives I haven't seen for a while. Does you family reward girls for NOT seeming to be too bright in a booksmart way? For example, I was with my family yesterday and a cousin's husband gave us a word game such as 1001 A N (1001 Arabian Nights is the answer) or 24 H in a D (24 hours in a day) 52 C in a D and a J (52 Cards in a Deck and a Joker) 13 S in the AF (13 stripes in the American Flag) 32 DF and WF (32 Degrees Fahrenheit and Water Freezes). I'm not bragging, but the entire list was just too easy. I have a Ph.D. and it would be really frightening if I didn't get these. My BA is in English and I taught special ed and English at the college level for several years before getting my Ph.D. I now work as a research scientist. If my family doesn't think I'm smart enough to answer these questions, what does that say? I was figuring out the answers very quickly but after the first couple times, I stopped to give the other women a chance to respond. I've been reprimanded before for "showing off" my intelligence (my booksmart intelligence). On the other hand, my cousins who are all married and didn't go to college can spend as much time as they want showing off and bragging about their kids and their husbands and their clothes, cars, and jewelry. The thing is, if that stuff meant anything to me, I would have done what they did and spent more time finding a husband than putting myself through school to support myself. One of the questions was 4 Q in a G. I guessed 4 quarts in a gallon. The women and a couple of the guys actually made me question whether this was the correct answer because two of the women thought there were 2 quarts in a gallon. The cousin's husband who gave us the word puzzle is a D.O. not even a real M.D. and he had to know the answer was 4 quarts in a gallon, but his wife didn't and no one wanted her to look stupid!!! Why is it okay for them to try to make me feel like a loser because I'm still single (and they are both on their second marriages), but it's not okay for them to realize that maybe, yes, earning a Ph.D. may have raised my IQ by a few points? And, if that's not bad enough, they still think I'm a poor college student struggling to get by. They can't possibly understand how a woman could make it on her own. Not only do I make it on my own, I live rather well even without a man's income.
  13. Share with her what's going on or else she will think you don't care about her when you distance yourself from her. It drives me nuts when guys do that.
  14. I haven't posted here in a while. I'm 36, never married no kids. I was confused earlier between two great guys. One was 33, never married and no kids, and the other man was 45, divorced with three kids with an ex-wife who was also remarried to a divorced man with kids. The divorced guy had been divorced for five years so that wasn't really a concern. I knew it was over between him and his former spouse. My question is this: Is anyone else having problems with the effects of divorce and dating? It feels like I waited a long time to get married because I wanted to find true love and I didn't want to get divorced. However, at my age, almost everyone is divorced with kids. I also notice now that the older "kids" who married, had kids, and divorced at a younger age are having a lot more fun dating because they aren't looking for the kind of lifelong mate I'm looking for. I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this or if it's just me. I find myself becoming angry and resentful that I didn't just find someone when I was in my twenties and have kids and risk divorce if it wasn't the right person. Things seemed to work out better for the single moms who did that. I'm now dating a 43-year-old who is also single, never married no kids. He was engaged a few years ago but it didn't work out. He's in the military and has been deployed and also lived overseas. I don't know why I struggle so much with the concept of divorce and remarriage and kids. I feel like it's a mental block in this culture to feel the way I feel about it. Luckily, the man I'm dating now seems to have the same beliefs I have. Any thoughts on this? I'd like to know if I'm alone in feeling this way. Thanks.
  15. If you're going by what women put in their online profiles about wanting a tall guy, it's because most men lie online about their height (as well as their income), just like women probably lie about their age and their weight (posting outdated photos). For some odd reason, I'm a little under 5'4", so I know how tall a man is when we meet in person, yet most men will select 5'10" as their height online even if they're really around 5'6". Maybe women prefer men who tell the truth. 5'4" is a great height, BTW, because I don't ever get my jeans altered in length if I wear heals and most guys are taller than I am.
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