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iamteddybearfeelmecuddle

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Everything posted by iamteddybearfeelmecuddle

  1. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Just so you know "You're too nice" is a very very common *excuse* that women use when they want out of a relationship. That excuse doesn't necessarily have any basis in the truth, it's just a way for us to get out, without having to have a nasty confrontation with the guy. It's like a sugar-coated, softened blow.
  2. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Right, but that's not really my point. I just don't see why mom's going behind daughters back like that. Aside from that, Shrek is in a bad spot with this either way. He's not going to feel comfortable hanging around his ex's fam (most people wouldn't). OP, I think you should just telephone now and then, if you're even comfortable doing that. Going over is bound to be uncomfortable, and stir up bad memories.
  3. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Maybe not. But I would advise OP not to treat her differently or give her a cold shoulder, or behave exclusively against her or clannishly with the other employees against her. Juniors tend to treat people in authority like the enemy, or the bad parent, and that can just be creating more tension than anything else.
  4. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Actually she did put her daughter down, and actually, I would expect more allegiance from my mother towards me than towards some guy that I'd dated for a couple months or even a couple years, and found not treating me well enough to keep. And that has nothing to do with placing myself at the center of her universe, it's just simple loyalty. However, as I've said (three times now), I do not know the specifics of Shreks situation such as time involved, or what exactly the daughter did, or the circumstances of their break up. Now if he tells me that she treated him like crap for years, cheated on him, then left him for another guy that would be just one of many scenarios in which I could understand the mother's dissappointment in the daughter's behavior.
  5. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Then you're lucky. It's not the most common problem, but it is a problem, unless effemite men don't bother you, in which case I won't put up a fight for them!
  6. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Maybe you should just try being very nice to her and see if that doesn't turn her nicer toward you. Perhaps she doesn't like you because you are gossiping about her with the other junior employees?
  7. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Yes, my experiences have actually been exactly the same as yours. And the part about not being able to tell if they are effeminite through typing or (sometimes) over the phone, is also sooo true. I've gone to meet two guys I can think of that were both far to effeminite for me, and I could tell that with in 5-10 minutes, and I was glad I hadn't wasted a lot of time typing or talking.
  8. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Yes, and again, it depends on your situation, but because if I broke up with a guy and my mother went behind my back and phoned him and had him over for dinner, and told him bad things about me, I don't think that would be too cool.
  9. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    I hear ya, I also have a low tolerance for harassment, and I don't like unwanted attention at all. In that case, he was an ex and just didn't want to break up, so I felt sorry for him, and I didn't want him to have a criminal record, but it came down to I didn't want to have to worry about someone hiding outside my work or my house waiting for me to come out anymore, and I really felt I had no choice at that point. But if it was a veritable stranger, then I think less tolerence would be warranted. The scariest thing is if any of you have looked into stalking you already know, there are documented cases of women being stalked (for months or years) and murdered by people whom they didn't even know at all. I remember reading one story about a guy who'd been stalking a young woman to the point that he had numerous journals (logs) of her day to day activities. One day he came up to her in a parking lot and beat her to death (with a club I think), and all along, she had either not been aware of his existence, or barely knew him. I think he had gone to the same high school as her or something. Sometimes it's someone that one barely knows (but he's keenly aware of her), such as the man that sells newspapers outside one's work or something. One more story is about that actress Rebecca Schaeffer, she was killed by a 'fan' who she had sent an autographed pic to at one time. He showed up at her apartment one day and shot her to death just like that.
  10. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    So how long were you and the ex together? In a way I can see that people get attached to their relative's bfs/gfs, but in a way I kind of think the mother betrayed her daughter. (Well I don't know the whole story though), but I thought fam was supposed to stick together, and respect eachothers' decisions and whatnot.
  11. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Yeah, a police visit made one go away for me too. I remember one police man explaining to me that sometimes they believe it's all a big game and they actually don't get how serious you are about leaving you alone till you take legal action, and that snaps them out of it. That said, in my case there was distruction of property (mine) threatening (me) with weapons (held right to my ribcage), assaults and attempted kidnapping (of me) (final straw), involved before the police were brought into it. I'm not suggesting it's best to wait that long.. I think in your particular situation OP, I really think that you should give her fair warning of police involvement before you do involve them. If she bugs you in any way even one more time, tell her, email her maybe, clearly and concisely, that you don't want anymore contact with her. Tell her if she contacts you in any way again, you will take legal action. Now, here's something else for you to worry about. Sometimes obsessed people turn to more covert methods of bothering you. For instance she may respond to your request not to contact her, but then only to get her self signed into many of your classes, and sit right behind you or stare at you, get a job where you work, show up at your friends' parties, etc. I had another wack-job do that to me for years, and the worst thing was since there was no overt harassment, there wasn't much I could do about it.
  12. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    I hear that, but isn't it hard for you to resist putting her on the spot by asking her questions that she might not be comfortable telling a complete stranger who she doens't even know yet whether she'll have any chemistry with or attraction to in person. Such questions that I would not want to tell a guy that I had no idea whether I would like enough to spend one more half hour date with than just the initial meeting include: Where do I work, (or if my job details were specific, and might elude to where I work, or narrow it down considerably, then another question to avoid would be what do I do for a living?) And if she answered with something general like, "I do administrative work". Would you press for more details so you could narrow down the place of her business. Another thing, could you avoid asking her not what part of town she lives in, but where, specifically she lives? Or pry for that info, by say, hinting at which park or store is nearest her house? A lot of women may not be comfortable divulging too much identifying information to a stranger that she doesn't know yet whether she wants to see more than once. And she may regret giving too much info away once she's met the guy and realized that she is not at all interested in him. That said, the other things that you mentioned such as interest in kids or other issues or habits that might be deal breakers for you, those I can understand, and it would save a lot of time. But I do not feel that some broader issues or values can always be communicated best via typing, so I would still say keep things brief and minimal.
  13. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Good for you! It's good to do your part in letting him know you like a guy, but you shouldn't waste even one more minute on a guy once you realize he's just not that into you. You'd probably be happier being alone and holding out for one who digs you as much as you dig him.
  14. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Yes if it took him four days, it sounds like he's not really putting forth enough effort in this. Maybe it's one of those 'He's not that into you' situations. In which case I'm sure you'd be happier with someone who was a little more into you.
  15. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    If she does show up again, I think it would be ok to warn her if she doesn't leave right away, and leave you alone, then you'll call the cops. Nearly everybody gets a little nutty sometimes (some more than others, obviously). But she hasn't harmed you or physically threatened you at this point. Treat others the way you'd like to be treated. She'll have a criminal record. If she keeps it up, you'll have no choice.
  16. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    I think that you might have been better off to have just left a message saying, "Hi! Call me!", or "I'm in my place, now. Call me when you get a chance." It's almost like you set yourself up for disappointment, by leaving a message suggesting he be someplace at a certain timeframe, because it's like you were making plans for him, rather than speaking with him in real time, and negotiating plans.
  17. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Yeah, really. First she was a (total) flake, then she was moving way, way too fast. I suspect if she had acted a bit more like a normal person you might have given it a shot, too. Keep trying to gently but firmly let her know it's not going to happen. I hope when she comes to your school she doesn't make trouble for you. Good luck.
  18. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Yes, what Annie said I agree with, and also as I've already said in this thread there are a lot of compelling reasons not to tell a complete stranger that you don't even know for sure if you have 'real life' chemistry with too much about yourself. If a guy is looking for a pen pal with someone he has not met, someone to type all of his emotions and whole life story to, then I'm not that girl. I'm interested in a flesh and blood man whom I'm compatible with.
  19. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Did his parents treat him like he was no good or something? Just a guess, maybe it's something else. He obviously has some sort of inferiortity issues.
  20. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    I second that, to the letter.
  21. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Yes that's what I was going to say, but he already did. Also if it hurts why do you allow him to continue, rather than simply tell him to stop and/or try something else?
  22. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Jo Dee Messina, Bye Bye, and also My Give a Damn's Busted Dan Seals, Everything that Glitters BoomKat, The Wreckoning
  23. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    The songs that probably get to me the most, for various reasons, are: Careless Whisper, George Michael Broken Wings, Mister Mister Still Lovin' You, Scorpions One Thing, Finger Eleven
  24. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Yes...sooo icky just kidding... Seriously while things like money, and height don't hurt ,they are no guarantee a girl will want to date you. Hmmm...I've never actually met the girl that cared about how expensive a car was either. Long as it's clean, decent and reliable, that's all that matters. Men sure do care about all that superficial stuff alot though.
  25. iamteddybearfeelmecuddle
    Good luck and be sure to let her know you miss her.
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