AwdreeHpburn

Not that I know of Rosie - so....have at it! You start!

Holidays ARE stressful and having to share a room with a mother who makes you uncomfortable isn't easy either. If I were you, yeh, I guess I would just try to make the best of it. I blow my mom off now with no qualms....she just rarely bothers me anymore...

I tihnk it would be a bit inappropriate actually. Ya know, you can always try to avoid your mom and like you said, cut the trip short..... I hear your anxiety tho - I too am getting a bit nrevous and anxious about the whole family thing this year.....

hey gt - welcome back - My only suggestion to you is that maybe you should just pay a little closer attention to the tone your voice has when having a discussion. I only say that because apparently, and unbeknownst to me, I sound harsh and angry a lot of times when in a "discussion" Mostly because that IS the way things were discussed in my house when I was growing up. It was as natural as breathng but it took my husband asking me all the time if I was angry or why was I so upset by whatever it was we were discussing for me to pay attention to my tone of voice. Maybe you don't know it, but maybe he thinks you're upset of trying to persuade him because of how you sound?? It's worth a listen, yeh?

Hey Freedom - I'm totally passive aggressive. It's hard to overcome but I think you can do it. In my opinion, the trick is to identify your true feelings and communicate them immediately rather than storing them, stewing on them and spitting them back out later.

I understand InlovewithAlex - but I'm afraid your trying to force him may have the opposite result you are looking for - that's all. Best of luck to you - and him.....

hmmmm....sounds like maybe you should let it go. Tell him that if he changes his mind - you are available to him and leave it at that. Not much you can do for someone who doesn't want anything from you...

Nail on the head! This is it exaclty for me! I had a bf who would breathe!! Can you believe it!? And it drove me nuts! He too was really catering and suuuuper patient. I totally dumped him!! I mean, I'm glad I did now otherwise I may not have met my husband, but for a while there I was like, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME???

yeh - when you put it that way, you're probably right..... ....so don't put it that way. Tell them (your parents) that you think you have some social phobias and social anxieties. Tell them that you don't think they are crippling or dilbilitating right now but they could very easily become that way. Make sure you let them know that you have been trying to handle this on your own for some time now but are finally at a place where you think it's time to get some help. We're talking about help here...you're not telling them you're terminal -you just need a little help...

Eddward - I really suggest you talk to seomone professionally if it is as bad as you say. It really could end up hurting your chances at advancement, long term relationships etc. You should really go and talk with a therapist - a male one so that doesn't get in the way

She'll be back.

no - I was over it and annoyed and no - he was over it and I was just annoying

4 answers - interesting perspective..... I think there's a valuable lesson here somewhere. When I was the dumper - I felt annoyed and over it. That's why I ended it. When he tried to get me back- I felt guilty and sad for him but still annoyed. When I wa dumped - I felt shocked and couldn't get over it. I would've done anything to get the life I'd had back. I called, I stopped by, I was quite annoying actually.... So... commonality?? Hmmmm....I guess the whole thing is irritating, isn't it? No, really, I guess the commonality for me there is that I am led by emotions and have a hard time seeing things from any other perspective than the ego-centric one. Sort of as Weeblie nicely put it, quite self-absorbed.

Hey lilady - Welcome to ENA!!! Glad you found us. I just HAD to comment on this one because I know almost exactly what you're saying. My husband was the same way when we met and got married and still is to this very day....well, we've only been married 8 years.... But I couldn't believe he was just so...casual about stuff. It has taken me all these years and I'm finally starting (I think) to see that it is just him. He is tolerant, laid back, and as you said, I really think he loves me unconditionally. So far anyway.... That whole concept really IS hard for me to get my head around coming from where I've been but we (you and I) have to learn to see it for what it is and not try to draw out the bad. I think you may have stumbled onto a good thing here. Don't let it get away because you can't believe it. If he is not dealing with real issues that are causing you distress, that's a different story - but let the relationship happen and let yourself experience something new and different. He's a different person from your last relationship and you are a different person too. Enjoy it! I'm glad you're here though! If I said nothing that was helpful, I'm sure somebody here will! These people are da bomb! Hope to see ya 'round! -T

oh come on!! I thought this was totally funny!!!!

How about.... back aft -(short for afternoon) If I took you back, to that April aft,

I don't think you should make the mistake of thinking he's not into you - at all. But, as I said, if you're not shy, I think you should go for it. I tihnk you're shy to broach it with him because you know he's shy and asking him may make him uncomfortable. Maybe you could write to him first - send him an e-mail asking him. I have a feeling he'd be much more likely to respond to you that way and won't feel nearly as put on the spot or uncomfortable. Would that work?

An old lady's garden in the spring the vivid colours of an overcast day the smell of rain on the pavement coffee from a table at an outdoor cafe I hate you

Hey BrokenHeart82 - he WILL warm up to you, sounds like it'll just take more time than usual. As for how you'll know how he feels about you, you may not. Maybe you could ask him. But if he's really shy, you may want to suggest - if it's easier for him - that he write to you somehow. Maybe it'd be easier for him to send something like that to you in an e-mail. Tell him you are really interested in seeing him more. Tell him that you are wondering how he feels and realising he's a bit shy, you don't know how or if he'll tell you. If YOU are comfortable (not shy) about doing the talking..... you may just have to.

hope - I don't think you should be anticipating all the bad things that may or may not happen - sounds kind of stressful. Just plan on having a good time with your bf and cross the ex calling bridge when or IF you come to it. Don't cause yourself this un-due stress worrying about whether or not his ex will call him again on New Years, it's not even Christmas yet!

awwww Caldus - I'm so sorry to hear that. You describe her as such a nice person - you're so positive! I'm sorry things with her aren't as you wish they could be and I feel bad that you're sad. {{{{HUGS}}}}

soulse....... Have you thought of talking with a professional? Maybe your depression is beyond the scope of the "get over it" or "hey, chin up - it'll be Ok" kind of advice. Maybe you need some more help than that.

cliche? Ok - so be it, but yes....I DO know what you mean. Or did rather.....until (and here come the cliched answer) I met my husband. And I know this sounds ridiculous, but we've been married for 8 years now (dated for almost 2 before getting married) so 10 years with each other and I have not grown tired of him. Of course sometimes I need my time away cos I get crowded, but bored, nah....he's a very interesting and fascinating individual..... But I USED to get bored and irritated with bf's all the time. That was my clue that they were not for me....

Hey Hope - I tihnk it all depends. If they don't have a close realtionship at all and ALL she's doing is texting him Happy New Year every year, I think that's a pretty harmless ritual. HOWEVER - If it makes you uncomfortable, then of course you should tell him that. Sort of sounds like maybe you've already mentioned something about her to him??

Very awesome post! Thanks for that ilse - I understand better now too!