Jjasonn28

I dont mean to rain on any parades.... Is it just me? Or does the idea of going through pains together, dealing with them, and becoming stronger together BECAUSE of them exist to anyone? I suppose the circumstanes of everyones pain/troubles are all different, and of course some could not, and should not EVER be tolerated. But I for one would like to think that, it IS possible to become stronger together not in spite those problems, but because of them.. On the other hand.. maybe im dillusional and should be locked up. This world is seeming less and less tolerable of those of us with HUGE hearts.... JP

Hello, Im sorry for posting again, and getting on your nerves, (if that is infact what im doing.) She called me tonight, again, to say hello. Since we broke up, I have refused to initiate contact. I told her I wouldn't. Tonight, the conversation started mostly with small talk. How are you, how is Parker (our dog) etc... We then began to talk about our relationship, and how we were on different levels when it comes to having a need for interdependance. I believe I am fairly balanced. I have the need to share with a partner, but at the same time, enjoy my personal space. She on the other hand, has always figured herself to be more independent, goal/career oriented.. with little 'need' for a shoulder, or significant other to lean on. In my eyes however, based on her upbringing, and past relationships, felt that deep down, she has a strong desire to finally some how let her self be comfortable in sharing, supporting and receiving the support of love. I never confronted her with this though, Im not the type to try to pressure, or push someone to shape/mould their character. Besides, I fell in love with her for the person she is. During our discussion tonight however, she broke down. She confessed to me that her indipendance - how she thought she was strong and wanted to do everything by herself, is perhaps a front. A defense that she had put up to keep from being hurt. Now I know its over between us, but it kills me more, to think that now, after everything, she is finding this out. All I ever wanted to do was be there for her, support her, love her, and spend the rest of my life with her, as her partner. Im happy that she is recognizing this stuff, but why does it have to be now? I wanted to reach through the phone and just hold her.. but instead, I grew quiet.. perhaps a little cold. She also asked if she should stop calling me. This is a tough question. I of course dont want to stop hearing her voice. In fact, the times she has called, Ive felt somewhat better afterwards. Knowing that she too hurts, is having a hard time, and just wants to hear my voice too. So I told her that she can keep calling. She was happy to hear this, and said to me that it is something that 'she needs too'. That she would go crazy 'not knowing how i am'. Also that we are 'not dillusional' and should be able to take it day by day, and handle this situation 'like adults'. This got me thinking. Why. Why now. She honestly has called me more this week, than any time in the previous couple months. Ive decided I do want to salvage a friendship, at some point because more than anything, thats what we were best at. Is this all just bad timing? Some higher power playing nasty jokes with my mind? The fact that she is showing more care and concern for me NOW, than before, makes me that much sadder. I just dont understand. Thanks for letting me talk. I could write forever..

Hmm. Its funny you should say that. This past week, Ive had thoughts of picking up and moving away. Its always been a dream of mine to live up north. I guess my train of thought is that what is holding me back now? When we were in that relationship, we were gonna make it there eventually. But now, All I have here, like i said, are triggers of her. I dont want to split the country or anything, just get to the one place that ive always wanted to be. Should I give it some time to make sure Im thinking clearly?? And if so, what do I do in the meantime? I really dont want to go back to that company. But I also dont want to commit to anything else... Im just so lost.

Thank you all for your kind words. It really does help to realize that Im not the only person who is feeling, or who has ever felt this way. And relationshipCoach, I understand what you are saying. I really do. I know that i have to loosen my grip on her, and start concentrating on myself. Its just that, at this moment I cant find the stregth. The now and the future is no longer what I thought it would be. Its almost as if I have to go back to the drawing board, and force myself to come up with a plan. Perhaps its a little to soon for me to jump back on the horse. I have to nurse these wounds a little. As for my job, if I loved it, I would be there. But the reason I am employed with that company, is, or was for convenience. Local, steady work, until we decided where we were gonna take our lives.. The only things right now, that take me away from all of this, are the things I love. I play hockey once a week, and Im looking forward to that so much, just for the simple fact that It will get me away. I guess my dog is an exception. We adopted him, and raised him together, so playing with him, talking to him, looking at him makes me sad... If I could ignore everything around me that triggers my emotions, I would. But, I guess im cursed with sensitivity. Even that leonardo da Vinci quote... she sent me a card with that quote the day after I went on my first helicopter ride. (Flying a helicopter has always been a dream of mine). But again, I do understand, and believe what you say. I guess its a matter of finding the strength again.

Well, if you are having these feelings, then perhaps you still have feelings past just a friendship. I have the same feelings at just the thoughts, with my ex. Until you move completely past her emotionally.. id say its normal to feel that way. One day, you wont.

Hi all. So its been a week since the ex decided to move on. Its been excruciating... I have had little if any appetite. I only sleep when I become extremely exhausted. I am trying my best to get out, and try to get my mind on something else, which works sometimes, for a short while, but I am finding that there are just too many triggers in EVERYTHING around me. Im not ready to purge myself of everything that reminds me of her. And even when I am, I think I am gonna have to move to another city, and get a different job. I havent gone back to work yet, so I may end up not having a job there much longer anyway. Which isn't a bad thing, because I dont like the company, and was only there, because I was waiting on her... Everything in my life, at the moment was built based around a future with her. The most peace I can get, is when I actually do fall asleep. I wish sometimes that I would never have to wake up... So yeah, this is hard. And i know its expected to be. I have great friends who are all being very supportive, but its hard to be constantly be felt bad for.. They all love me, they all love her. Its a real tragedy. And no one knows why. Not I, nor her. As week 1 passes, I will hold on to hope that things will only get better. But so far, in my experience with holding on to hope... perhaps I should keep looking over my shoulder. That wrecking ball might be on the backswing. Searching for inspiration..

Well it sounds like you are in that stage of love that we all hope will last forever. Little advice.. dont take him or let him take you for granted. Find a way to always remind eachother of just how great, being with eachother feels. too late for me, but i'll never forget those memories of bliss.

In my case, it was everything. I cant pin point one or two things that lead to me falling in love. I guess from the moment I first met her.. it just seemed EVERYTHING was right. When nothing else mattered and we were consumed with eachother, i knew. Two weeks after we met, we drove 23 hours to the east coast on a long weekend for a Lobster dinner. Thats when I knew I loved her..

Thank you all for your response. I guess Im the billionth person to feel this way.. (give or take). Hopefully, in the future, I will come to understand what this all meant, or why it happened this way. For now, I will do my best to focus on moving forward. Everyone is telling me to cut contact. And deep down I know it would help me to move on faster. We have a few things to get out of the way, joint accounts.. co signings and such.. but for the most part I think I am just about ready to do that. I havent made the attempt to contact her once.. so far, it has been all her. Of course, when I hear that long distance ring, my heart jumps, and I answer it.... When the details are taken care of, I hope I can find the courage to let it go.. I really would like to thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. Its funny, that help can come from the places you least expect. My friends and family have all been great. I am so glad that I havent put up walls, and shut people out. In fact, a bunch of us are gonna go out for a social dinner tonight. I really am looking forward to it. I'll keep you posted on my progress.... Thanks again

Simple. You moved on. If this new girl really makes you feel all those wonderful things, then absolutely continue to grow with her. Do you feel you risk losing your current job or status within the ex's fathers company if you don't go back to her?? I mean, if you are good at what you do, there should be no reason why you cant continue to grow in your career. If on the other hand, you stand a chance of losing your job if you dont get back with her... then think about it.. You go back to her, keep your job, but will be at the mercy of her and her family for the rest of your life. A possibly viscious cycle of, 'you better be nice or I'll tell daddy'. I dont know all the circumstances but in my eye, the answer is clear. You love the girl you are with, so nurture that love. She will understand better that working to achieve what you want, is much more satisfying than having everything handed to you. And that is a lesson that EVERYONE needs to learn at some point. Good luck

Hello everyone Every day, gets a little better. I am doing my best to accept that I have to say good bye to not only my girlfriend, but my best friend. Of course, it IS going to be a Titanic struggle, but I am trying to understand that, and prepare myself for it. She has called every day since deciding to move on. Mostly to just check up on me, and see how Im doing. She genuinely is concerned that I hurt. But she has also called a couple times because she is having a difficult time too. Now, when she cry's it hurts. I cannot stand to hear or see her cry. I just want to take her away from everything, hold her, and comfort her until she no longer hurts.. But this week has been different. Of course I am still sad that she is sad, and I still dont like to see or hear her upset.. but for some reason, I have a sense of satisfaction from it.. I feel aweful. Dont get me wrong, it doesnt please me that she hurts.. but I think knowing that this change is hard on her, and pains her too... makes me feel just a little better. I dont have to wonder, 'how can she walk away, and not be hurt'. I know this hurts her too. That being said, I question a few things. Am I a horrible person to be getting some sort of 'satisfaction' from this? How is it that we ever learn to trust love again? I mean, after giving your all, being so sure, and have it fail... What reason is there to not put up walls, and protect ourselves from even the possibility of such an agonizing hurt again? Sure, I admit being in Love is amazing... but it seems that the Hurt of a broken heart, overshadows everything else. Okay, I suppose that isn't fair. However, I am concerned that I may never trust enough to let love lead the way again... Now its way to early for me to look forward, and honestly it makes me a little sick to think of myself in love with anyone else.. but, when we are down, we search for answers, an understanding... Anyone have answers?

Im not gonna say run. But Im not gonna say jump in. I think she needs to find that job, and separate from the ex completely before and thereforeee 'move on' in her life before attempting to even try a serious relationship. Be a friend to her, challenge her to move on, (if that is what she REALLY wants). In the meanwhile, let nature take its course. If you can see in her more than what she is living, than encourage her. But dont jump in, and get roped up into something that is doomed from the beginning.

Dako. Without a doubt, she is a wonderful person. Her and I are very similar, in that we both have huge hearts, and sincerely care for eachother. I agree that a frindship with her eventually would be worth the effort. Of course, I dont know if or when that could happen. I do know that I cant pretend to be her friend, and I would be pretending if I suggested we take that as our next step. In order for a friendship, I would have to move completely past her, and her past me. If nothing, in time, it would be great to be her friend. Just as it is an honor to love her. I just dont know if what I feel will subside enough to consider her as only a friend... But if its possible, then yes its worth everything.

Hoss, Thank you very much for your encouraging words. Ive held on to hope, I guess now for the past year or so, and even more so in the past couple months. I am trying to tell myself that if its real, then it will work out. Maybe the timing is wrong, maybe this is a step that we both have to go through, like you said.. to understand the importance of the the well running dry. I will not put my life on hold. Its been on hold for a long time now. I know its time for me to let go of hope. I cant continue to hope that she will show up at my door, and leap into my arms. I need to move on, for myself. The good thing about this love, is that it will never die. Like I said, there will always be a place in my heart for her. And who knows, down the road, once ive put the pain of losing her behind me, and clearly see the road ahead of me again, perhaps we will cross paths again. Im not hoping for it, but putting it that way makes it a little easier to take those first couple of steps towards continuing my life. She has always been confused by love. And I truly mean it when I say that I only want for her to be happy. If she can find the same love that I feel for her, then thats what she deserves. Even if its not with me.

In my case, long distance is defined as ANY distance, in which you cant meet for a quick coffee, or go out for an unplanned dinner... My ex and I lived the past year and a half of our relationship only 100 miles apart. But with her having to sell her car for school, and working weekends, and me working 5-6 days a week, it became enough that it distanced us. I think it may have actually been harder, knowing that she is ONLY 100 miles from me, and still we struggled to work through it. People will say that if its your true love, no distance will matter. While this is true, DONT rely on love alone.

Hello. Yes, we have discussed marriage in the past. I am, or was ready to marry her. I do love her, and do want to spend the rest of my life with her as my wife. She on the other hand, has had some issues. Before me, she had been in some pretty bad relationships. And also was brought up in not such a great family setting. She has walls built up, and she realizes it. Since her increased involvement in the church, she has delt with some of the things. A progress in which I am very proud of her. But at the same time, I think because our relationship together was a stepping stone for her to understand these issues, and realize that she wants to put it all behind her, I am in some way tied to that past. This is why it hurts me so much. I am a true believer in Love. I believe that we both made big steps individually in dealing with past pains. And I truly believe that spurring forward into the future together, could ONLY make us stronger. But, she doesn't feel the same. She cherishes our friendship, and all the memories, but wants to start with a clean slate. It is very hard on her too, this breakup, but she feels its necessary. I dont agree, but I am doing my best to try to accept it, and find an understanding in it. A reason. Yes, she does know that I would go to the ends of the world for her. She knows that I would give all that I am to be her life partner. I guess, its just not meant to happen..

Nikkers, Be proud of yourself for getting past the first 6 days. It requires GREAT strength. If you can realize this, and understand that it is only making you stronger, no matter how much it hurts, then each day will hurt less. I know its easy for someone on the outside looking in to say, as I havent been able to find the same strength as of yet. But reading about success, even in the early stages gives me hope. STAY STRONG. Its all for a reason, even though we may not understand what that reason is.

I agree with dark blue. It is ALWAYS best, no matter what the situation to be honest. At this point, only 2 or three dates, if you are honest and straight forward, wont cause a world of pain. In this truth, you will be a better person, and have stregthened your character for it. Its hard to find the courage some times, when it comes to possibly negatively affecting someones feelings. Trust me, it was my downfall. You will not onlyl be doing her/him a favor, but doing yourself one too.

Hello all. Its been a while since Ive posted here. A few months ago, the ex and I had a talk. We weren't happy. We both agreed that something was wrong, and that we needed to re-evaluate the situation. We took a small step back and really started to talk. We were together for almost 4 years, and the last year and a half lived long distance while she attended school. I put my life on hold for her. Ive been living in a small apartment, taking care of our dog, while she worked hard in school, all the while POSITIVE that when she was done, we would continue to build a future together. I suppose during this time, she started to think differently. She changed her part time jobs 3 times, and couldn't quite figure what she wanted out of school. She began to attend church more frequently, because she felt lost. And while I sat and waited, we grew distant. We talked to eachother every day, and saw eachother nearly once a week. But we stopped 'talking'. So since our revelation that something was wrong, things began to change. For the better, in a sense that we were beginning to connect the way we used to. We made more efforts to be with eachother, and we were completely open and honest, even if it meant hurting the other. She went accross the country at Christmas to visit with family, and said that when she got back, we would get together for a new years and christmas celebration of our own. The holidays were hard, being without her, but having her to look forward to got me through it. So on January 2nd, we meet for Breakfast. What a wonderful breakfast. We took our dog for a long walk in the park, laughed and talked, and it seemed so right. But things were about to change forever. It wasn't pre planned, on either of our part, but the question was asked, 'what do you want?' I told her that I want a direction. She agreed, and turned to me and said 'I think we have to face that we just arent right for eachother.' She has tried to reconnect, but isn't feeling the same for me like she used to, the way I still feel about her. Needless to say the rest of the afternoon, was spent in eachothers arms, in tears. It hurts me so much to lose my best friend, my love. And it hurts her too. I mentioned calling her in a couple months so that she may visit with our dog, and she looked at me like I was crazy. She thinks that we should support eachother now, through this 'journey'. And infact, she called me 4 times yesterday in tears. Once at 1:00 in the morning, after a bad dream. I will admit, I think talking to her is helping me to not cry 24/7, as we sort through our emotions together. But others think that Ive been alone, here with our dog for the last year and a half, and that I need to just walk away. I cant imagine just walking away. Its not the romance, or physical attraction/needs that are hard to accept losing. Its losing her friendship. In 4 years, weve never argued, or even raised our voices at eachother. We always laughed, and got along so well. Even when I was hurt, and missed her, and wasn't truthful with her about it, when we talked, it all went away.. I still love her. And will always have a place in my heart for her. She really is the sweetest girl, with a heart of gold. An angel on earth so to speak. I am just so lost right now. I cant eat, sleep, or even work. Ive been sick a number of times, which is VERY odd. I just want to curl up, fall asleep, and never wake again. Thanks for listening.

Hello everyone. For those of you who have been following my story. Here is what happened last night with the ex. I went to her house to pick her up. Her birthday is on Tuesday, so I brought her a small bunch of flowers. Nothing fancy, no roses or anything, just a few that I thought looked nice together. I also bought her a laptop cam, (she hinted at wanting one so she could share more of her school life with me.) Anyways, that went well, and we left to come back to my place. On the way, she mentioned she was hungry, so we stopped at a real nice restaurant. Spontaneous decision, and we didn't have reservations, but somehow, she talked our way in to getting a table. Dinner was great. Lamb, Steak, Mussles, Wine... Very tasty. So far, the night has gone wonderful, it was like we were first dating again. Not once did I feel uncomfortable, or inclined to bring up our 'situation'. After dinner, we took the drive back to my place. (roughly an hour). We took our dog out for a walk, then had a nap together in my bed. It was so very peaceful. After the nap, it was off to hockey. She sat in the stands alone, while she watched me make a fool of myself. I was so nervous. Ive never played for an audience, well, an audience who was there to watch me. But she really enjoyed watching, and it felt good to have a cheerleader in my corner! When hockey was finished, a bunch of the guys, her and I went out for a drink and some wings. She hasn't spent time with me and friends in about 2 years. Mostly because when we lived together, we didn't have friends. And also because she's lived in another city for school this past year and a half. It was fun, relaxed.. just an all around AWESOME evening. So I drove her home, (another hour) because she has a lot to do today. On the way, she asked if there was anything I wanted to talk about, (regarding our situation). I was tempted to start asking questions, and try to clarify things, but the evening went so well, I just didn't want to ruin the mood. I told her that if she didn't mind, Id like to just enjoy the time we are spending together, and have fun. She smiled and agreed. When I got to her house, she thanked me for everything. The flowers, cam, dinner.. etc. Its really no big deal, because its nothing I wouldn't do any other time. As she was getting out of my truck, she leaned back in and kissed me. I wasn't expecting this. It threw me. I enjoyed it, but it made my heart stop for a second. All night, there was no signs, or hints at intimacy of any sort. Well, unless you count the nap. She smiled at me, said goodnight, and asked me to call her tomorrow, (today.) The whole ride home, I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. It was my intent to just hang out, and have fun. Which we did. It was nice to not have to think about where we are headed, or whats next... But her kissing me took me by such surprise, that for the hour I spent driving home, I questioned everything again. My insecurities, my curiosities, our situation, how she feels, how I feel, all flooded me. The kiss was soft, warm and very genuine. How should I take this? Im thinking that I will just put that aside, and continue to work on involving eachother more, and at the same time, investing more time into ME. My heart is clawing at the box I have it in, trying to break free and overwhelm me again. Is it the right thing to do... put those feelings aside for now? jp

Patience; I AM willing to do a lot yes. As for the faith aspect, I am only willing to open myself to it. Ive had very strong opinions against any sort of religion, but perhaps for wrong reasons. Im not expecting to go, and become a believer, And I wouldn't go SIMPLY because she wants me to, or to do it for her. First and formost, its for me. I simply want to go and see what it is. If anything, its not so much the faith, or spicific religion, but more the spirituality. This self reflection as a result of this break up has me questioning many things about myself. No, she hasn't come right out and said she wants to get back together. Hence the limbo. And yes, we still do live 100 miles apart, and will be that way until she is finished her degree in May. After that, her plan is to find work, and perhaps persue a few part time certifications. Since the moment I knew I loved her, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I am a skilled tradesman, (Journayman Drywall/Framer/Acoustic, and 4th term apprentice finish Carpenter). Being so, I can generally get work wherever I go. In my mind, I figured that wherever she ends up wanting to live/work would be fine with me. I am flexible, and want only to be happy together. As for the intimacy, that would depend. Before the break up, we were seeing eachother roughly once a week. Depending on what our plans were, if opportunity presented itself, yes we were intimate. After the break up, weve seen eachother only a couple times. The most intimate we have been, is holding hands, hugging/cuddling. I have held off kissing her. Even though its hard. And I am positive I dont just miss having a girlfriend. There is another womanl who is VERY interested in me. She is a sweet, attractive, successful girl, who most guys would probably think Im rediculous for just being friends with. Especially with all the advances she has made. If i just wanted a 'girlfriend' I could have one.

Hello again everyone Ok, so maybe the 95% of you with the same opinion about my situation are right. We are in limbo. I do resent the 'doormat' metaphor. Im not sitting around, waiting on her every move. I infact have been trying to improve myself. Started playing hockey again, (which I absolutely love.) Okay, I started playing about 2 weeks before our break up, however, I still love it, and will continue to do so, because it makes me feel better about myself, and its just super fun. Ive also improved my living space. Re arranged, bought new accents, new bedroom linens... things ive wanted to do for a while, but put off. And I really do feel good about it. However, the fact remains that yes. We are in Limbo. Its obvious that neither of us were happy with where the relationship was, but at the same time, neither of us are ready to move on. Am I offering her emotional support? Absolutely. And she is doing the same for me. This morning, she gave me a surprise phone call to wake me up. I havent gotten one of those in months. Just a quick 'good morning, I had a dream about you, and wanted to you to know that Im thinking about you. Have a great day, Id like to talk to you later.' Well that was the basics of the phone call. Last night, she told me that she would like it if I was to attend an 'Alpha course' with her. It is an 8 week course, an 'introduction' if you will, to Christianity. Now, faith and spirituality have always been a big part of her life. Unfortunately, I had a very closed mind towards that stuff, thereforeee, she didn't involve me partially because she knew my views, and figured I didn't want to be involved. But in these last few weeks of 'soul searching' I have come to realize that being closed was selfish even immature really. If it is important to her, it is important to me. Maybe spirituality, and faith is something that I need to open myself to? So ive done some online reading, and have decided that it would be in my best interest to do so. If only for the fact that opening my mind and heart, will help me to become a better person. The thing is, this 'Alpha Course' doesnt begin until January. She told me that she doesn't have a timeline on our situation. But if we are to seriously involve eachother more, and attempt to 'find' what is right, she would like to include this course in that process. So we aren't a couple, but we arent making ourselves available to other people. She still considers me her man, and her - my girl. But this 'limbo' is really hard. She is coming to visit on Friday night, to talk some more, and to come and watch me play hockey. Should I tell her that this limbo is painful? Or just enjoy our time, have fun and try to relax? More opinions on the situation would be appreciated.

LOL. Awesome post Poco. I suppose yes, If I were to provide more details, perhaps people could understand the situation better. Your insights and suggestions are greatly appreciated. I will, respond in some detail to your thoughts. Too much detail would make this post a mile long... A few nights ago, she invited me over for dinner. She made a great Lagana dinner, (and bought a bottle of wine). I told her that if she wants to be alone, I will respect that, and asked if it would make it easier if we just separated completely from eachothers lives. She said she didn't want that, and that she wants to spend time together, involve eachother more, and figure things out. Am I completely blind? Is this not a real attempt at rebuilding? We havent stopped flirting or having fun. That is one of the main reasons I was confused of her actions. Ive seen her twice since the 'breakup'. The first time we went out to a real nice Tai restaurant, and went for a walk by the river. Okay, so not much flirting happened there, unless you consider holding hands flirting? We mostly talked about how we were feeling. I dont consider myself her therapist, but open, productive communication involving feelings is therapy to both of us. There is no doubt that there still is chemistry, butterflies and sexual tension for both of us. She told me how she kept looking out her window every 5 minutes, excited that I was coming for dinner... She emailed me explaining how she had well.. pleasured herself, to thoughts of us. We talk on MSN, (both have webcams) and there was plenty of 'flirting' going on. LOL. That is too funny. Okay, I can see how this may come accross that way to you. All I meant was, that in the past year, we have talked about whats happening in our lives, but we never involved eachother. She would tell me that she had essays to write and all that, but thats about it. Yesterday, she called me to ask my help in finding a topic she needed to write an essay about, and we had a half hour conversation about her favorite activites and 'why its worth investing so much of her time in them'. This may not sound like girlfriend/boyfriend stuff to other people, but its involving me. It makes me feel closer to her, not physically, but mentally. Porky pig could still do a ton of damage But thanks for reminding me that its not the end, no matter what happens. Although I am certain, I want to love her for the rest of my life.. JP

3 1/2 years. 2 years we lived in the same city, last year and a half she has been in university. Only about 100 miles away, but with her not having a car, its difficult.

Hello This question is more aimed at the ladies, but if you guys have input too, that would be good. At the moment, me and the ex are 'in between'. What I mean is, we havent officially agreed to start over and rebuild, but we havent walked away from eachother or have made ourselves available to others. I guess its most commonly known as 'limbo'. We have agreed to involve eachother more in our lives for a while, continue talking, and see where things go. She initiated this 'break up', and I am actually happy in a way, because I was able to see things about myself, and she was able to see things about herself that we were both blind too. So we are taking it one day at a time, and although Im not overly happy, the fact that she is willing to involve eachother, gives me a contentment and hope. I have posted about my situation many times, and I keep getting the same consensus, but mostly from men. That we are in limbo, and I am giving her the emotional support she needs until she is ready to completely let go. So, ladies, is this it? Is where we are ultimately on the road to the end? Or is it possible that 'getting to know eachother' again IS possible. She has REALLY made an effort in the past couple days to involve me, and I her. Maybe effort is the wrong word. But shes included me in her day to day happenings, which hasn't happened for over a year. Is the light I see at the end of the tunnel a big train headed my way? Or maybe, could it be the dawn of a new day?? JP