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sukerbut

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  1. sukerbut
    you should take a dump freeze3 it and send it to her...for all the shi?? she has put you through..dude you have to stop..dog i have been reading your posts..and just like you i am feeling liek crap as well...especially the holidays, dont get me wrong i was doing great..and then weds..BANG it hit me like a ton of bricks..i even sent her an e-card for turkey day,,i have not gotten a response..yet..i am sure she is going to call sometime this week..but i have realized that i must not pick it up...i have come to this realization..they quit on us...why should we want a quitter in our lives..i have been nothing but a great influence in her life..i loved her as much as i could..and she decided to leave me..because she got bored..i feel liek a fool for sending her that card..DONT DO IT!! She is not coming back anytime soon..as much as it sucks..the more you converse with them the more you feel like you have hope..but the reality is they dont want to come back. its been 2 months for me..and every time she calls i am strong and feel like i can handle it..but then i break down and try to rationolize as to why she called..that is a very poerplexing feeling..because it consumes my think time. she called back to back weeks..so when she did not call last week..especially for the holiday.i got all crazy..i promised myself this week..that i will ignore her. i must otherwise i will just hurt myself even more. good luck my friend
  2. sukerbut
    thank you all..i need that moral boost sometimes...yes she is a monster and her venom is very very potent...there is a reason why i dedicated teh song man eater to her...she is liek the black widow. i just wish i did not have a history with her once again thank you for all the replys
  3. sukerbut
    i have been pretty good lately..positive..feeling good..but starting last week..the thoughts of her have started to consume me..i dont know why? i mean i have been on the up..for a good month...and then bang i just hit a wall and have just really been overwheled my hopeless feeling for her...i have been flirting with a super fine at the gym (goign out with her next friday)..things are looking up..getting inot real great shape..and now i feel worst than the first day of the break up! i have been good with the no contact on my part but like an idiot when she calls i pick up..she did not call this week but she did call last week and the week before...i know i should not pick up..ut like an idiot i think she is going to say i miss you..but of course that never happens...now i think subconsiously i am waiting for her to call so when she does not it affects me...its weird cause when we talk i feel good after i hang up..but i think that is me thinking stupid thoughts about getting back together..but then a couple off days later thatswhn it hits me..plus the dam holidays..all my stupid cousins..sow hows your girl? oh were is she? is she ok? just shut up already and leave me alone..is it the holidays? or is it me being stubborn and not implementing no contact when she calls..i already know the answer and you guys have heard this saab story before but i little NC boost replies my help the moral...oh like an moron i sent her an thanksgiving e-card also...I KNOW i know!
  4. sukerbut
    i agree with the rest of the group..i started no contact but every time she called me i would pik up like an idiot and chat with her for a couple of mints. she called back to back weeks..then when she did not call this week i am not going to lie i def. regressed and not a little but whole lot...for your sanity ..please dont do it...there are many reasons as to why she contacted you but i can assure you its not cause she misses you!..to feel good about herself..guilt. comfort..and any other selfish reason.
  5. sukerbut
    i was thinking of sending a card for x-mas but thats it...she has started calling again..i am not going to lie i pick up and we chat for a bit..but after the 6 min mark i cut her off and tell her i have to go..i m pretty confused as to why she is calling..but we will never know unless they tell us...just be cool. if and when she calls..i try to be caring but thats it..no i love yous, no i miss yous and i never ever ask to see her..lets see what happens..i do miss her alot but so far this system has been working for me..whAT do you guys think..should i not even pik up the phone..i dot want to be her bench warmer either..just in case the starter goes down she still has the shmuck that loves her and cares for herto the rescue..until the next starter comes into the game ..you know what i mean..pretty confused
  6. sukerbut
    weird man! ... she called again today...i mean liek get a life..it does not even bother me any more..i chatted with her for a minute then i let her go.. i m too busy picking my nose..you know whats great..i felt know emotions..0 ! nothing..so why not be the better man...i am way over no contact..now i want her to know while she is waiting tables on the weekends i am still living my lux life..right now i am loving it..dude when you said the time frame with your ex..and you posted exactly what happened to be my situation i was like woa..i like this guy. you ever coming to ny give me send me a pm..
  7. sukerbut
    DAVID..i was in a true relationship with my ex ex for 7 years..we both grew together...we started with nothing and we both succeded in our jobs etc.. and thats why to this day i love her so much..we grew together..we both witnessed hardships and overcome them..our lifestyles transformed before our eyes..on both our parts..she was the one , she is the only woman that i trust with my life..i hurt her so bad and let her go .. becasue i wanted this one. to this day if i asked her to marry me she would..but i lost that spark..aS messed up as it sounds i dont even want to kiss her..i love her like a sister. its weird because our growing together drove me away from her..its messed up stuff .. soemtimes its good to tasste your own poison. and dont let anyone say otherwise..your post is so on the money! it seems 17 months is the time frame for this type of care taker relationship..we dated 7 months casually...and then in jan .. she was i want to be exclusivly your g/f..i would not say this if i did not think i could marry you..RIGHT!! its weird..i guess she neeeds to grow and she cant if i am there coaching her every move..my bad for making the relationship so intense..i should of know .. i am the adult here.
  8. sukerbut
    chai i think you are right...i told her..please dont call me too much because i am still healing..i mean dont worry guys im already starting to date .. nothing serious...i was thinking..x-mas i might send her a card and thats it...then her b-day is in jan...so maybe i will try to take her out for hr b-day..just for a drink...i have not been calling..hopefully by then i will be strong enough to see her..because i am not going to lie she is not going to recognize me..i have dropped 15 pounds since the break up...plus i have tried fixing my attitude a lot...i did this for me..but if it was not for the break up..i would of never fixed myself. i undersatand how no contact works..but i genuinly love this girl..so i dont want to totally get rid of her and i am prepared not to be with her .. i am fully aware and understand the situation..she is still way to young 22..im 30 .. i will keep all my friends postd..and hello ladies i appreciate all your support .. every thread i start you have helped out...i appreciate your posts..as i do everybody else's that has been there for me...this sight has defiantly helped me keep my sanity and my cool..i love u all
  9. sukerbut
    chai i think you are right...i told her..please dont call me too much because i am still healing..i mean dont worry guys im already starting to date .. nothing serious...i was thinking..x-mas i might send her a card and thats it...then her b-day is in jan...so maybe i will try to take her out for hr b-day..just for a drink...i have not been calling..hopefully by then i will be strong enough to see her..because i am not going to lie she is not going to recognize me..i have dropped 15 pounds since the break up...plus i have tried fixing my attitude a lot...i did this for me..but if it was not for the break up..i would of never fixed myself. i undersatand how no contact works..but i genuinly love this girl..so i dont want to totally get rid of her and i am prepared not to be with her .. i am fully aware and understand the situation..she is still way to young 22..im 30 .. i will keep all my friends postd..and hello ladies i appreciate all your support .. every thread i start you have helped out...i appreciate your posts..as i do everybody else's that has been there for me...this sight has defiantly helped me keep my sanity and my cool..i love u all
  10. sukerbut
    ok i am sure if you are a memeber you have prob. read my story. anyways its been about a month and a half since the break up..i am feeling good..real good about myself..se called last monday and i did not pik up...so i called her weds..we chatted for a bit..she told me the e-mail i sent her made her very happy..etc. then she is like if you ever get some customers to go out why dont you come to the rest. i work at..its a nice palce..i am a broker and i entertain a lot and she strted waiting at this ypper tier rest..why would she even ask something so stupid as to invite me there...and with my customers? oh excuse me guys this is my ex and she will be serving us? of course o told her no..plus i told her we can treally talk much because it is hard for me and she understood. but why would she ask me something like that? any suggestions i would be glad to take. DONT WORRY there is now way in hell i am ever going there..so no worries there
  11. sukerbut
    i told mine..i explained everything ...to her as to why things happened..and even though she did not flinch i feel better about things..at least she knows that i know were i went wrong..but dont be too hard on yourself...i know this girl for 5 years..and although i was not happy about her past i turned a blind eye because i love her...if she was not willing to let things go..just like your girl that means she is not ready to be in a commited relationship with you. how can i go and forget her past..and love her unconditionally...when she wont compromise and show me love...i know we have made mistakes and i know we got clingy but thats because they made us feel insecure. i think by us being clingy helped the relationship break faster, but in the long run i think it would of broken anyways..it just would of taken alot more time and pain.. so dont beat yourself up too much..learn to grow , learn to respect yourself, and in the mean time you better yourself the best you can. as much as i want her back...i odnt think it would work out right now. and believe me i looove this girl..the first girl i have ever wanted to marry..and i liek you said the same thing when i got her back after 2 years of not seeing her..this time i am going to keep her forever...i think that mentality killed the relationship. instead of her chasing me..i was chasing her again..and in the mean time lost respect for myself and made myself look real bad. good luck my friend..i suggest you move on with your life..live it ... dont dwell and waste time on geting her back...fix yourself first..i am0 not going to lie...i dont call her but when she calls me i chat with her for a bit! see how she is doing and thats it..i dont care whom she's fukin what she is doing this weekend etc. i just try to be caring and understanding because i do love her..but lately i started loving myself a lot more,,so i dont really have time to waist on thinking about her life...i more concerned about enhancing mine
  12. sukerbut
    i too have decided that changes need to be made and just like you .. only when soemthing as panfull as this occurrence made me change my outlook on life and made me look inside myself and realize what i needed to fix...i am not going to lie..i wish she was still next to me..but at the same time if it was not for this bitter pill i had to swallow i would of not be bettering myself asi am doing now. as much as this sucks i am also so excited that i am growing as a complete man...progress not degress ... thats the only way to become the best you can be
  13. sukerbut
    dude i did the same thing...i got so dependent on her that i smothered her..i became a leech because just like you! i had lost her for almost 2 years .. so when she came back..i always had in the back of my mind that i would lose her..when she started distancing herself from me two months before the break up..i became a psyco..(not a good look) eventually i became so insecure in the relationship and so scared to lose her that i drove myself and her crazy. she could not take it any more and she left saying: i dont love you like you love me. but in reality i was not showing her love by hounding her..i was showing insecurity and dependency to her. that is not a turn on...now im back being alone with out her in my life..sometimes we confuse addiction with love. when you are scared that you are going to lose someone.you enter the relatiuonship with this preconsived notion in your head..and unfortunately that dictates how you act.. evntually it consumes you and destroys the love bond
  14. sukerbut
    you can lead a horse to water but you cant force it to drink...i looooove this girl...i always did i know her for 5 years..and yes she also has family problems..i am pretty well off and being a broker i have access to a nice social life style. she was loving it..when does a 22 year old get to be lavished with gifts love and a great social lyfe..she has been to every top tier rest..in the city...regularly. its not only because i loved her that i did that but also because it is part of my life style...in july she is telling me how much she loves me etc.. and how we are going to get married..we go to costa rica in aug. come back and then she starts getting flaky on me..finaLLY and i have heard this from her before..she tells me i dont love you like you love me..so i had to let her go..because i love her so much i had to do the right thing..she is motivated and hard working. beutiful and very articulate..and thats what i fell in love with, but she is alos 22 and just starting her life journey. she needs to grow before she realizes what she wants and what is right and wrong. i would get annoyed at her for not resiprocating the love that i wanted..eventually that drove us a part. it suks but being an adult i should of not put so much weight in her marriage words. i was the idiot here not her.
  15. sukerbut
    david ..all i mmust say is WOW! you are so on the money with this thread. i just came out of a break up with this girl 22..i am 30 and very well established...we dated for 17 months 7 months casual and 10 months as b/f g/f ..i mean you are so right..i to this day still love her but she was not even close to my level..but i did want to nerture her..even change her for the best..i am just stunned as to how right you are..kudos my man...you just made me feel so good..thank you
  16. sukerbut
    "I am now happy in hind sight that she is gone, she was like a little devil dressed up as an angel, her cover was blown or she could not hold the pretense of whom she really was, and in a nutshell did us both a real big favour." short term loss long term gain..amen brother mine too looked like a sweet angel but inside was a coroding corpse of a soul..insecure and lost..lets just count our blessing thing did not move on further ..marriage kids divorce..my god...we truly are very lucky
  17. sukerbut
    she called today ... i picked up ..we chatted a little bit i do care for this woman a lot...we talked about everyday stuff for 5 minutes i kept it short and sweet..i also told her i care for her deeply and i worry about her..but if she respects me she can not call me any more..becuase the situation is not that easy for me..i told her i understand the fact that she is 22 and starting her life..it was too much pressure for her especially since i am already were i want to be at 30 years of age ..i also thanked her for cutting the ties before it got ugly...which i repect...i mean there is nothing else to do. i told her goodbye and that was it...i made the mistake once of begging a woman back..and as much as i would liek her back..what is that going to do for me in the long run if she does not want it..it suks cause i am lonely but slowly things are turning around for me...in the end i know i will always be on top. it felt good to talk to her .. not as a friend but as some one who really loves her and i think she knows that..but at the same time i need to move on..i must say for me this haas been the smoothest break up i have ever had. i know everyday we broken hearts have diffrent mood swings...i have been really hurting the past couple of days..and even though my heart was racing after the phone call...i feel good right now..almost at peace with myself..i hope this feeling lasts. i think it will
  18. sukerbut
    no kristo..she did leave a message .. she said i got your e-mail..i told her i love her but our timing was off.hats its ok .thank you for making me stronger etc... she also said nothing major just wanted to catch up..call me..so i did liek an idiot...unfortunately though i was her once..a great woman that treated me with love and respect and geve me herself entirely and i did the same thing this girl did to me...because i was young and i still did not want to think about marriage etc... the only problem was that i dragged the relationship withthe grat woman for seven years and to this day she wants to marry me..i wasted seven years of her life..and sometimes you need to taste your own poison..it does not taste very good but at the same time it is detrimental in becoming a better person...at least this one had the descency to leave me be..and not drag me into a cheating and hurtfull relationship...i love her i miss her...and i wish things were diffrent but not really. who knows what the future holds but we do not what the present has in store for us..at least like this i can sleep in peace at night
  19. sukerbut
    she feels liek she is losing power.. she probably is missing you but not enough to commit...she wants to hold on just in case her other relationships dont work out because you treated her so well..the bottom line she is selfish...i know the feeling brother...i am going through this right now...nut i dont even get i miss your voice and text msgs..which is prob for the best...now its time to cut her off completely..i dont undrstand why they break up and keep calling you..actually i do..because i was like that with my 7 year ex..she loved me wanted to marry me but iw as to busy with other girls and partying so i would break up with her and pull the same stunts..i needed to know i had someone that still loved me..so every time i would get lonely i woudl go back to her...dont do it..if its meant to be it will be in the future..we dont know what the future hold but we do know what the present holds..and by you being her pawn .. there will be no future ever wwith her (if thats what you want) and there will be no piece and healing for yourself..you have to walk away..live your life and who knows what the future will bring..be strong bro i am feeling you
  20. sukerbut
    NOOOOOO! i made teh mistake of returnign my ex's call..not only did she not pik up but she did not call back either..you are only hurting yourself...dogg i sent you a pm yesterday dont know if you got it,,but the bottom line is when a woman sais no and its over..its over dude...you send that e-mail you are going to make her feel uncomfortable and pressured..it def..will keep driving her away...i know it suks but i felt like crap yestersay when i called and she did not pik up..just chill for now..2 weeks is nothing..she just got liberated and does not want to be guilted into feeling bad..just keep going day by day..it will get better..i promise you that you will not be ghelping the situaton out if you send a rose or an e-mail. TRUST ME ..
  21. sukerbut
    i think you best be watching your back..my girl started that in aug..starting to drift..not calling me during the day .. not picking up my phone calls..the i love you texts started dying out...and 2 months later i am on this site..the only advice i can give you..is to a) start preparing yourself by making new friends and reuniting with your old ones..like that you will have a crew just in case times get bad and b) you need to step back and distance yourself from him as well..dont make the mistake of smothering him liek i smothered my girl..that just made her descision more final .. so by reuniting with old friends and making new ones you will be killing two birds with one stone..you will give him soem space while you are still together. and at the same time preparing for the worst...just be cool..right now..dont smother him.it was the end for me because of it
  22. sukerbut
    its not like i gave in and called..i was just returning her message...if she had not called i would of not made the effort..bit dam man..i miss her .. but i knew i should of not called ..but i was weak..once again thank you all for all the love and support..plus i have been starting to get comfortable with the situation..the girl is 22 .. now i know thats still old enough to love..she just got out of college..she partied alot and i thought she was done with it..but lets be real here..were you thinking marriage and long term comitment at 22 especially when youare dating a 30 year old..a bit more pressure there..you know...i am coming to terms with it and as much as i hate her for taking my happiness from me i am also understanding because i know she is young and a bit wild...my fault for falling so deep..i am the one to blame i am the adult here..but love puts a strangle on you. cheers to all and thank you for the help
  23. sukerbut
    as long as YOU make it last...the past two days for me have been horrible..i even made the effort to return her phone call ..she called monday..she did not answer and i left a stupid message..that set me back a week or two of healing...just dont make the mistake i made..dont call .. believe me if she missed you and wanted to talk she would leave you messages..mine has moved on already..actually i think she had moved on before we even broke up ... i guess thats what bothers me the most...i dont visualize her with whomever i am just hurt that her love for me was not real..just a facade. i think thats what hurts thats the stinger..that we are here pooring our hearts out on this web site meanwhile they are out there care free..saying jeez thank god its over..i wonder whom i am going to go out with this weekend..good luck my frined
  24. sukerbut
    yeah thats what i told myself also..and i was doing well for a while..when she came back into my life for the third time my friends who know her flaky nature were like..sukerbut be carefull she is dangerous and i was i know what i am doing...i played the game well till she started showing me she was for real...as soon as that happened i let my guard down and then i got cold cocked with a frying pan...this monster was telling me third times the charm..dont break my heart ..we are going to get mariied...right? WRONG not only are you not going to break my heart and not only am i not going to marrie you but i am going to humiliate you and destroy all your dreams you pathetick loser of a man you!... leaving me for hedonistick and bohemian lifestyle..to hell with her. this is the third time she broke my heart..
  25. sukerbut
    you have friends here..a little bit more than a month ago..my girl that was proffesing her love to me and discussing marriage turned totally cold on me my friend..we came back from costa rica in aug..thinking that this trip was going to unify us even more...i was so happy we had a great time instead it was the start of the end! she would tell me please dont break my heart ..we are going to get married right? what a joke..the last thing i heard from her mouth was i dont love you lie you love me and there is no way i can imagine having children with you..mind you my friend i treated this girl like gold...i think maybe too good...so we are all here trying to heal...but please stay away..dont contact her..i did today and i feel like total crap-ola
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