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sukerbut

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Everything posted by sukerbut

  1. sukerbut
    well she has already seen pics of me on the net..i just hope i did not wig her out..we will see
  2. sukerbut
    well i have moved from the breaking up to dating forum so i guess thats a good thing..small recap..i met a girl online..our conversations have been going so well..thursday we talked for an hour, friday another hour...sat she texted me i cant wait for our date sat..i replied me as well..she calls me imediatly..we chat for a couple of minutes and i am feeling real good..then i think i do something stupid..because i was feeling real good i sent her a pic msg. of me..i looked good, but it was right after the shower and my neck and the upper part of my chest was showing. (she likes big guys) my message read so how old do you think i look like now smarty pants..have fun tonight!! the reason i sent it was be cause our first conversation she was unsure of my age 30, she thought i was older..i really was just trying to be cute..sunday..i sent her a msg. saying..i was trying to be cute with the pic messg last night did i succeed or fail miserably..she replies i just got the pic had to log onto the computer wuz cute! u look buff kid...then i called her to tell her about my night , we chated for four min..and she was lie i am watching a movie can i call you back..that was sundau 1pm i still have not heard from her..you guys think i messed up sending that stupid pic msg..maybe i scared her off or something..or am i just reading into it to much since i am still a wounded animal from the break up? any advice would be appreciated
  3. sukerbut
    guys thank you for all the replies this weekend...it makes me feel good knowing that i can help out in any way. I truly am at peace wth myself lately..its a wonderful feeling i will keep every single one of you guys updated about my situation. i finally think the downward spiral is starting to change itself..how bout this..i went out sat. and lost my car keys..they cost about 300 bucks a piece..i was great everyhting is going good now this has to happes..next day my bud calls me and he said he found them in the seat cushions of his sofa..i know its coincindence but the wheels are in motion..its time to start reaching for the stars again..i am no longer drowning in misery..just make sure you go out there and network with people..rejuvinate all the old friendships you had and start moving forward (at first it might feel like you are trudging through quick sand, but as time passes that feeling will subside and you will be able to move with ease. but you have to start moving..even if its inch by inch) ..it will happen to you too...if i could get out of this any one can...GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL!!! Peter
  4. sukerbut
    its a buildong process..it takes time. i really am pretty happpy, and for the first time in 10+yrs...i have been alone for 4 months. before i always had a back up plan..jumping from g/f to g/f...this time i decided to be alone , i allowed myself to get strong. RC i knowi have been flighty..every month was a different emotion...dont get me wrong i know you will get angry at me, but i do still love her..i am not going to sit here and lie to you..but i also am not consumed by her, and i really cant wait to meet the new mrs. sukerbut. I really am me again...funny happy. ITS ALL GOOD
  5. sukerbut
    you will i promise..i was devastated .. read some of my posts and you will see. and i must say no contact is the only way to go.
  6. sukerbut
    Well it will be four months since the break up in a couple of days, and i am finally starting to feel good. Dont get me wrong i still think about her, but only once in a while...i have been chatting with other chicks..have made new friends..lost sifgnificant amount of weight...and yes while the pain at times consumed me...i have her to thank for all the other positives that came out of this break up. i am almost healed completely...i have even embraced the single life...it took some time, but eventually i got back on track...i remember the first week .. my god i was so lost..my network of friends was not there..i was filled with misery and sorroww..i would wake up at 6 am on sat and sunday..and would go to the gym and do cardio for hours, just so i did not have to be home alone..it was very painful.., but slowly my network of friends grew again..my attitude started changing and now i am happy again..life is good..i did not think i would say that one month ago..well i hope i can give you guys some insight on my progress..it has been a tough road, but things are really good now..the roller coaster ride of emotions was extreme but i can finally say the ride is over. yei!!!
  7. sukerbut
    DONT WORRY dude it gets easier ..i am in month four...and still to this day..this was the love of my life..i dont care what any loser sais..thats what i feel..i still think about her..why things happened , but as time passes you just stop picking your brain too much and start focusing on your life..have fun, be safe.
  8. sukerbut
    hello ladies, my main man...you keep it short and sweet and to the point. I did the cool thing..talked to her when she called casually..played it cool..i was disecting every word she said..even bought the book how to get your lover back..HAAAAA (what a loser) i was going to get her back by loving her..are you kidding me..if what i did for her when we were together could not make her fall in love nothing will..anyways i finally broke down after a month and a half..so i did what helloladies said to do (i proffesedmy love to her one last time)..she assured me..we are never getting back together ever again.(HEY THANKS )..between her cruel remarks and my last stand i love you's! I finally drove her away. now i am doing a lil better..you have no idea how hard it is to have a conversation with some one you love to death and she does not give two turds for you. give me a break..you want a friend get a dog
  9. sukerbut
    i am with the crew bro...just go and have fun..i promise you through my own personal tribulations that you will be better off if you do not call her. i know it sounds redicoulos.and i know we all have this deep delusion that our specific love is stronger than any one else's on this board but unfortunately..its not..we are all in the same boat and we all have been baptized with fire...have fun in spain..and then when you get back..maybe then you can give her a ring...
  10. sukerbut
    i feel you bro..i think meldrich hit it right on the head...my ex was crazy over me..talks of marriage, moving in etc. that was july..as soon as we got back from vacation.(mid august).she started to change..once they start this process..kiss them good bye...i am starting to think that when this happens there is nothing the counter party can do. things get clearer as the the breakup gets longer. i am sitting here killing myself trying to figure out what i did wrong..if i was to clingy or insecure..of course we all are at towards the end of the relationship..the person we love is behaving differently towards..our premitive instict tells us there is something wrong..she no longer calls as much..you see her less...she holds grudges...and i think they start this process because theyrealize "hey i cant be commited like this right now" (in my case she was 22 out of college..i am 30) so they slowl start pullig away .. we go crazy (if you love some one what else are you going to do..i know i tried to hold on for dear life. i am sure even if i played it cool she still woudl of straied. meldrich you are so on the money.
  11. sukerbut
    listen i agree..there are many factors involved..i also blamed it on her stress level..all her friends found jobs..she was still looking..8months later she is waiting tables...her family life is a bit hectick with a crazy mother..she has a lot of friends. i was trying to be her rock and eventually i became her scapegoat. listen we all have qualities that we are not proud of, but love blinds you and allows you to forgive those ugly qualities or communicate with your partner what you dont like. she had many qualities that i hated , but you know what..i loved her so i was able to overlook them..listen dont blame yourself..on your qualities..thats a crock of * * * *e! i drank too much when we went out. she could of sat me aside one day and said ..please your drinking is a major concern for me..it is putting a strain in our relationship..but she did not do that..she went from drinking with me..to all of a sudden lookingat me funny..and blaming me..i had a problem with her smoking weed everyday..but i did not dump her because of that...those are all cop outs... either the love was never there..or was not strong enough to compete with outside forces..work , school, guys..etc. in terms of you ever getting back together probably not any time soon..just not enough history..just like me and her..but time heals all wounds and who knows what the future holds..i had dated her when she was 19..i ahd not seen her in 3 years..we met one night at the club and started dating again..and agian she broke up with me..i personalyy through my experiences would really try to move on...when there are no feeling any more and you guys somehow run into each other a while form now .. then maybe something can happen..but right now..i am sorry to say..that its not happening
  12. sukerbut
    i personally would of spit in her face...or even better arange to go meet her..and never show up
  13. sukerbut
    i have been reading this thread and feeling it is as well...you guys also have to consider outside factors and timing. take me for example..i was with ym ex..her senior year in college..till oct. she graduated..(burnt out from partying her prior years)..she thought she could handle a real relationship..she event alked about marriage..introduced me as the new hubby to her entire family..but deep down inside i knew i would lose her..because of timeing..at 22 she wants to conquer the world...she could not find a job..she was stressed out at home...and after a while i am sure she wanted her independence again..chat with guys go out with girl friends...she could not do that with a 30yr old man breathing down her neck. then you have all the friends and family feeding stuff into her head..unfortunately some people are not as mature as they act..in terms of independent thinking. put all those factors in and you have an appettite for destruction... i remember towards the end..we had a huge blow out...i instigated it becasue i was starting to get fed up with her alloofness in the relationship..she said..." ireally love you but i also hate you " thats a pretty powerful emotion..like pamper boy said..she was in love with me but not the relationship...i know she was .. no one treated her lie that ever .. nor will they...unconditional love is hard to come by. timing..outside influences..i am prety sure that if we met when she was ready....working and had soem consisteny in here life things would of been different. if only i knew about this web site 5 yrs ago..when she did the same to me when she graduateed high school and went to college..same situation..same words "i just dont love you like you love me" .. oh and onle last thing Reflect on the problems in the relationship but its not your fault..if you were a junky..or abusive then yes , but not if you were just fighting..and you also have to remember what caused those fights..in my case..it was on her most of the part...i am not saying i was an angel, but every blow out ..it was mostly on her
  14. sukerbut
    well its not liek i am mired in the past..i write very passionatly ... its not like i am home drowning in tears..my life is active .. i traain everyday..i go out .. i ski.. i mean lets get a grip .. its not like that, but i think my ego is really hurt.i cant take rejection very well .i just cant seem to attract the opposite sex right now..and to top it off..i am int he best shape of mylife..go figure. thanks to her
  15. sukerbut
    come on rc..i know you got better stuff than that...no i know i really know..its funny becasue we always know as humans what right from wrong is..yet we still try and fight those premative insticts and go ahead and make that mistake. thats why i come here..for support. nothing i will write or say will make a difference...i just wished i loved the woman that want s to marry me, like i loved this little cr-apola . i would of been married years ago..life is so funny...the woman that wants to marry me i dont want to marry..and the girl i want to marry does not want me..haha brutal man real brutal
  16. sukerbut
    your right i am just feeling prettyweak the past couple of weeks..you know the adage when it rains it poors..well right now there is a terential down poor..work, personal and social life are all deep in the * * * *ttter right now...just
  17. sukerbut
    i have been thiking that i wanted to start communicating with my ex.. i have dug deep inside and want to be civil with her..3.5 month break up...as you all know she wanted to be friends ..and we were cool for a while, but in december i really pushed her away with a poor performance one nght and some not so great e-mails. her b-day was last sat..i sent her a text happy b-day and i got a thanks in response..now i need some advice..not sure if i am being weak here..(probably am) but i really care for this person dearly..i dont want her as a friend..and i know she aint coming back..but for soem reason i care for well being...first question? should i even bother trying? and second .. if i do decide to try how do i go about doing it discretly without looking like a total moron .and third should i wait a little longer before contacting her..i have been doing limited contact now for since the break up i think we have spoken maybe 6 times in three months. like i said she was calling me for a while but i decided to stop that becasue i was mis reading her signals..now that i know we have no future ..i was deciding maybe i want to open up the communication channels with her? bad move? any opinions guys
  18. sukerbut
    yeah i was contemplating it also..even though i am a make believe i am a tough guy..i thought about it..maybe if all the negative things did not happen the last month i might of, we were on good speaking terms, but after that dreaded night i think i would only be embarrassing myself more..anyways its not like she is going to give two turds anyways..so why humiliate myself more..feeling better today..hey thanks for that last post .. it came at the right time : )
  19. sukerbut
    3 times brother...what the people on this forum dont know is that i wanted this more than anything in the world..and thats why it failed i guess..you can never want something so bad, or are scared to lose it. there are so many factors why this one hurt so much. i magine if your girl left you 3 years ago....and by chance you ran into her and became happpy again, joking around about all the hurt she put you through before, laughing about it, knowing that it wont happen again because she assured you that she loves you. remmebering all the bad times you went through the last time she left because she was too young to comprehend love BUT now she is older, knows what she wants. and what she wants is you. You feeling secure, happy, your future is set in stone. All her family members informed that pete is the one. Going on a vacation that was supposed to bring the relationship to its full potential...the future looking bright. and before you know it BAM you are dropped liek a piece of trash. One month of sensless fighting (i am sure there was a reason for this on her part) Like you mean nothing. then what my friend. You revisit all the past spots you went to 4 years ago..rememebring them as they were when she left you the first time..then rememebring how happy you were to revisit them again..becasue she was going to be there forever. and now to just pass them again knowing that she is gone AGAIN . The pain and suffering is more present than ever, becasue this rollercoaster ride you were on is officially over and you have to get off..ALONE ! AGAIN
  20. sukerbut
    i was thinking about calling a high priced callgirl haha..i am just kidding..actually if i had the money i would. its tough bro..at this point its more the ego that is hurt. of course it more than that..but after 3 months i have really forgetten her in my pressense. she is non existant..its the ego factor that hurts, its the fact that she was willing to leave you and never look back.its the pain of knowing you wanted to love this person more than anyone else for the rest of youtr life and she decided you are best served up as some memory one day.thats the pain. As is the answer searching which i have given up on. And sad but true..and i dont care what any other dumper sais..it is the hope factor that still so silently lingers with you, even after 3 months, even after 3 break ups, you still sit here and wonder what if she does come back? not that she is, but would you take her back again..i think 3 more months everything will change. but right now even though the memories are sporadic they are still there with presense.
  21. sukerbut
    one more hurdle to go before i start feeling good again. I guess this is normal but everytime there is a holiday or event i get really really sad. Sat. is her 23 rd b-day. i noticed my regression started sunday. i was feeling ok before that, but now i am still consumed by the thought of her. sat. she will be with having fun, laughing and being happy partying it up with her friends and my friends. (i wonder whom my replacement will be but at the same time i dont give two s...ts) i will be crushed regardless. last year i was the happiest shmuck around. life is so funny. one day you are the king of the world and the next you are wallowing in the gutter. ugh. i hate this . one thing is for sure she will not be hearing from me. i was doing so well trying to escape this forum but this week has been pretty tough. to top it all off my game is all out of whack, so meeting new people is difficult. Work had also been very slow (i am in a commision based business) so put all these factors together and its an appetite for disaster. I am still finding it hard to accept why this woman would do this to me. in one month we went from best friends and lovers. i mean why profess your love to me and then just drop me after one bad month..how can i go from your favorite person to mr. invisible.. thats my issue here...the betrayal.! anyways sat. will be a tough night and i will be making sure to be staying away from anywere she might be. i cant even picture that senario. it just sucks..i cant find anybody to take my mind of her, work sucks so i am not making any money and i will be the farthest memory from her thougths sat. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 1
  22. sukerbut
    no contact brohter ..its the only way to go...trust me. Once you hear her voice or see her...oh boy..trust me you will regress back to stage one. she wanted to be my friend.. called me every so often..finally i got tired of playing it cool..and i decided this has to stop..to make matter worst i saw her in a real bad state acouple of weeks ago..with 2 of her close friends there..that sealed the deal on the no cointact.lol Its the only way to go. It suck and its hard to phathom that we are just a fading memory now..but they way the wanted it..so be it..nothing e can do about it
  23. sukerbut
    age 20..thinka bout that...please my man i am 30...i have strung along people and have been strung along..i am not saying things will never work out, but the % are very low. good luck to you, but please dont get hung up over getting back together.especially when the break up is fresh it just aint happening .things happen when you least expect them , just like the way we meet our significant others. Life is great you never know whats around the nextr corner..speaking of let me check my lotto numbers. cheers
  24. sukerbut
    keep telling yourself that and your never going to ove on. hope is a horrible thing when it come to break ups.
  25. sukerbut
    yeah me 20 months ago..just to get dumped again...i got the you love me more than i love you statement 3 times in 5 years...only this time i was promised much more..just to be thrown to the curb again.. through my personal experiences..i will never ever get back with some one that has dumped me ..or that i have dumped..i have been on both sides of the spectrum and realize that it will never work out. too much damage has been made on both parties..being the dumper..i have returned to some exe's just to have it fizzle out again...once you have been dumped you have lost any type of power...once that is gone..its over for good.
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