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sukerbut

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  1. sukerbut
    Just wanted to drop aline and sa hello to all my enotaloners out there..oct 3 will be the 1 yr mark of the most painful day of m life. The day i was betrayed by the one person i loved in this world more than myelf. Well as some of you know it was probably the toughtest 8 months of my life. Between humiliating myself to the fullest and continously picking the break up wounds I come with news and advice for all my old and new friends here. Things are great now..it took a good 8 months to move on, and i have. Cristina will always be soemone special in my life. She was the one that made me so happy and so miserable at the same time ! she is one person that will never be forgotten . I am well, found a new job got a new girl and bought a new car. Time heals all wounds...I am happy and back on my feet. I still wish we could of worked out but it was never meant to be. Here is the facts for all you whom have just broken up. Suck it up and pelase never chase someone that does not want oyu. I tried to make it work 3 times ... I HAD NO CHANCE!!! I begged i grovelled i humiliated myself. Please walk away with dignity...I dont care how long your healing will take I dont care how much you hurt .. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT..I saw her recently at a party..i was with my new girl..she was..well the same crstina i remember. I hope you are all well...life goes on the present will becoem the past faster than you think..and the future will be the present...so put on your seatbelts on..its going to be a bumpy ride, but in the end rest assured.. everything will be just fine...PETE told you so!!!!!
  2. sukerbut
    Dont join the cub..you know the answer already..NO !!!! she aint thinking aout you any more, why give her more reason to be happier...you know what i got as a reply..hey thanks..yeah that made me feel good
  3. sukerbut
    man you are so on the money its not even funny..haha becasue you loved her thats why other wise you would of been the dumper right?
  4. sukerbut
    guys thanks alot...elanorby you hit the nail on the head..this was exactly what iw as looking for
  5. sukerbut
    dude i think you are right..yeah her actions changed .. big time..after we got back from vacsation she became aloof and unnatentive. direspectful almost towards me..so when i saw her slipping i bacame i crazy lunatic..even though i know my actions had nothign to do with ehr breaking up with me i still blame myself. when someone is slipping you knwo its over...so my actions might of just hastened the process...man i remember i put her favorite cologne on and she was like what is that...i was liek your favoirite..she was like really? it does not smell teh same..OUCH..but yeah she even said..i tried i really tried, but i jsut could not do it any more..her actions never emulated her words even in the beginning of the relationship..the third beginning if i might add!!! . I knew it was never going to work out in the first place...but the challenge and of course the love i had for her made me fight a losing battle that iw as never going to win. and this i knew deep down inside.
  6. sukerbut
    i mean its been ten months already..i have partially moved on .. i am not depressed or anythign liek that..i feel pretty good, in a new relationship! and don't get me wrong i do miss what we had..i just dont understand how one can discount how many great times we had..was i the only one there?..how can you go from being someone's quote on qoute "most favortite person in teh world" and "you make me so happy , please dont break my heart !!! and we are going to getr married right?" go to a honeymoon type vacation and a month later...regress to "i cant ever imagine being with you...never mind having children with you"..all in teh tiem span of amonth...even if it got a lil hairy in our last mointh..is this not to extreme? i know i should forget about it..but its just does not make any sense as to how something so good can go so bad in a months time span. This as been buggin me alot lately, i do not know why, but i guess i would get some insight. Can people actually change so much in a months time? insight would be aoppreciated, cause things that do not make sense bother me.
  7. sukerbut
    take trhe necklace back..bad move on that, but it worked for kobe lol...if you changed in this situation , since she loves you ! you definatly have a shot...in this case you need to be persistent...but easy with going into debt.
  8. sukerbut
    love should not be that hard....you will always have the insecurity that you are not good enough.you will always be suspicious (its a horrible feeling and very destructive i might add )..i know i did. the only reason i am so passionate about this subject, is because i am dealing with the extremly demoralizing, hurtfull, disappointing and degrading pain i am going through for the third time by the same cancer. Nerver in my life has one person had so much control over me. Like i am not good enough for her..she has to try three times and every tiem she drops liek i am nothing but a leper..i am successful, fit funny and popular, yet she made me feel ugly , panicked and jealouse, i put ehr on a petastal she did not belong to be put on. i sent you a pm...i hope it helped
  9. sukerbut
    yes absolutly correct...there is always the chance of winning..thats why we gamble...but the laws of probability will tell you otherwise..listen its ok to gamble..i gambled the third time and i gambled big...i put everything on the line and came out a loser...but thats me...if you think its worth the gamble do it..but be prepared to lose
  10. sukerbut
    karma...it got me so now i believe in it
  11. sukerbut
    Raj i agree whole heartedly..dude your only asking to get hurt more..you lost this battle man...you cant dump and go back especially since she dumoed you the first time..as bad as it sucks you are powerless...do what you want. we are only here to tell yuo of our experiences..i wish you luck
  12. sukerbut
    Man o man..You my friend are in trouble. I was in teh same situation, problem is mine dumped 3 yrs ago..we got back together and i knew about the past 3 yrs...and they were not pretty. Listen i know you love her..these insecurities you have are natural and will never go away..if you were not good enough for her the first time , what makes you think you will be good enough for her this time..i know i have been there..3 times over my man...The only way you can be sure it can work..is if she comes back and begs for a second chance..dont you dare go back to her now after dumoing her..it willbe the end for you...Trust me on this one also. If she quote on qoute wants to love you , then she will be back pleading, otherwise take your loses, keep your dignity and walk..other wise your toast...DO NOT ask her back. You prbably did the right thing anyways..soemtimes we sabotage ourselves for our best interests. good luck with this, but i can assure more heartache...the only way to trust soemone that has doen this to you..is if they are truly remorsful and want nothing but to prove you right and squashe your insecurities...i know i did not happen with me, and if your the one doing the breaking i bet she was not making you feel very secure...its not worth your sanity .. do the right thing and walk. I totally made a fool of myself..dont do the same...THIS is teh reality..if you want to believe in fairy tales like i thought i did..thn go with the you never know rout... I KNOW AND I HURT ALOT. I gave in to love once again with the same girl that i was not good enough for the first two times. I left myself vulnerable and thougth iw as on teh same page with her...i mean she said all the right things too bad her actions did not say the same..evenutally the same line was being repeated..i just dont love you like you love me. I might sound bitter but its the truth.
  13. sukerbut
    I know your world just collapsed i know your heart has shattered to a million pieces. The only thing i can tell you..is what i learned from my mistakes. There is nothing you can do or say to make your ex significant other change their mind..letters gifts begging tears will only humiliate you even further and reashure your ex that they did the right thing by dropping you...leave with dignity and pride..not like a little child crying for his mommy to return. I was looking at my exes pics today...I am not going to lie i will miss her for a good time..she still creeps into my head daily....1o months after the break..i know she is happy living with her new man but there is nothing we can do but let go....let go of the hope..this is the third time she decided she did not love me like i loved her..three friggin times she took my heart and tossed it in the garbage..and i made a fool of myself to try to win her back..like that was ever going to happen..please be strong , stay on your no contact path and heal ... no one knows how long it will take..dont worry about people bashing you about how you still have not gotten over this person..if you love unconditionally...that means you left yourself vulnerable and now you are left with nothind but painfull memories and what if's. But in time those feeling will supress and you will live your life the way it was meant to be lived .. happy and with no regrets...i miss her a whole lot, but she is just a memory nothing more...reconciliation is imposible...trust me even if it happens it will fade quickly and hurt more .. BE STRONG , and everything will be ok before you know it...any form of contact will get you back to almost square one.
  14. sukerbut
    mine wanted to be friends..what the f--k are you thinking.For the first time i wanted to give someone my al, every piece of me and for the 3 rd time i was rejjected by her and now after she rips my heart out and poops on it she has the audacity to call me once a week (8months ago) .i tried being friends with hopes of her seeing her foolish ways and then realized it was impossible..i could not take it any more and i tried so hard to get her back that i drove her as far away as possible..i bt extreme but it worked.
  15. sukerbut
    no contact all the way....i know the first couple of months were so hard..i would see someting read somehting and i would contact her like an idiot...problem was the friend thing for me was not workign and by month 3 i put the full court press on...i made myself look like and idiot, solidified her easons for leaving me, and to top it off hurt myself in the process , especially after i found out she moved in with some one 5 motnhs after our break up...as much as it sucks...you need to stick with it...you will never froget, but whenever you open doors of communication that numb feeling goes away and like majic she will flood your thoughts daily ... i know i have not seen er or talked to her in months..i saw one of my other ex's recently whom is getting married and decided to give my current ex a quick hello text..i got a reply and now for the past 3 weeks i cant stop dreaming and thinking of her..hell i am even posting here
  16. sukerbut
    nope, not at all...the one thing that i do not carry with me is fear of gettign hurt. in anyhting i do. i fell of my bike in 2002 nearly lost my life, got back on it no problem...see this is why it ell you folks that i felt the ex was the one. like i said i have had many realtionships, long ones, loving ones, and yet i never did nearly as much as i did for cris (my ex) she just brought out a diffrernet person..its almost liek i just loved her so much that i hole heartedly wanted to do these things...i also know what love feels like..every girl that i have met fantasized about getting married and having a future with me...except this one..this time around it was almost like role reversal and i was the one doing things to make her happy and fantasize about getting married..so the answer to your question is no..i dont do these things for my g/f or any of my past girl friends not out of fear, i just dont have that fire and desire to do these things for them. my ex was a differnet story...this is why i have been hung up over this for so long. the ex just made me that happy (of course in a controlled environment and one on one) deep down inside i know the truth..i know that she never really loved me becasue i know what love feels like..and what she had for me was not love.(she would sit and tell me i just cant love you the way you want to be loved..what the hell does that mean)..i did all these things to try and win her over nad make her love me like i loved her (it did not wotk the first 2 times it sure was not going to work the third) it was the challenge, the need to feel love from this specific one..the one that always left...how can all the other s dream about a future with me excpet her...the truth of the matter is that yes i did these things becasue it was a chellenge but i also did them with my whole heart..i enjoyed making ehr happy. for once i was the one begging and longing for love...so no fear has nothing to do with it..its just desire..i do not have that any more. i never did in 31 yrs..she was the only one i ever dreamed about..teh only one that made me want to hang it all up and give her my all...my life my money my everything. I wanted that from her..but i knew it just was not there from her. so i pushed an di prodded and i got the truth before it was too late..call it a defense mechanism. You always follow your gut.
  17. sukerbut
    well it has been a while since i have posted but im back for a quickie lol. I have been reading the post break up posts so decided to let some emotions and feelings out. Well its been 8 months since my break up and althhough i am in a much better place than i was 8 months ago, i still miss her terribly, I have also done alot of soul searching and even though i know it was not all my fault i still find myself taking the brunt of the break up blame. (maybe if i trusted a lil more , even though she3 was the reason i became a mad man, maybe if i did not get too comfortible with the family , maybe if i was on my best behaviour and did not drink like a fish in front of them, maybe if we did not get into stupid spats at the dinner table with her mom and family there) See i have found a super girl right now...we truly are very compatible. she is a jokester just like myself..we make fun of each other with no grudges being held...we truly are very good together. She is very supportive of me, she adores me..etc. Yet i still sit and wonder why me and my ex could not be like that..why could we not operate like a team like i do with my current girl friend. Dont get me wrong i m starting to love my girl now, but i do not have the passion to make her happy liek i did my ex. I mean i would move mountains for her, my current girl tells me , you are not romantic at all..and that kills me inside..i just sit and shake my head in disbelif..thinking wow if she only knew. I miss finding ways of making her happy (my ex) i would light the room with candles , right poetry..etc. (by the way i have been in many loving relationships and yet she was the only one i went out of my way to do this for) .. and now befoere you enotaloners go and persecute me about not treating my current girl like this i kind of think thats the way it should be. It just feels right being mutually happy..casue she is..i treat her very well, we share many laughs and i have made her very happy..its nice not chasing , and feeling secure in a relationship, but there are times i miss the fire i had for my ex, i miss finding ways of making her happy. righting those stupid poems and sending those querky pic msgs. buying 100 dollars worth of aroma therapy jsut to soothe her when she had a bad day. It sucks because it kills me inside that she could not appreciate all these awsome things i did for her. the only thing i remmeber her saying is , dont get me wrong i appreciate you teaching me so many things and i dont regret being with you, but i can never picture marrying you. and that just plain SUCKS!
  18. sukerbut
    i chatted with her for an hour after the bar closed..it was not like i got the number and disappeared..i am a face to face guy hate talkign on the phone especially when you first meet soemone..it just fizzles ..this much i know
  19. sukerbut
    its about time kell...i have been dating but all have been ehhh..you knwo i ama work out freak, and i woudl like my woman to be in shape, just like i am..her personality was super cool to boot, but i dont liek people that say they will call when they dont, but hey she owes me nothingright now right? problem is she is a bartender ans she works thursday-sat night
  20. sukerbut
    i need your help..i picked up a smoking hot chick sat night...fitness model material..well she gave me her number..i called monday..left a msg..she called back 10 miutes later..we chatted for a lil bit..then she had to go..she said she would call em later on..she called the next day,..we chatted for 10 minures the conversation got a little stale..nothing too bad..then she was like , hey listen i just finished lunch with my friend i will cally uo later on tonight when you get back home frm work...i was busy last night anyays so i am glad she did not call, but what is my move now..do i wait for her to call again..do i give it a day, and then call her..i amnot sure what the rules of engagement are? tis been a while since the break up
  21. sukerbut
    i have learned so much since my break up...grown in so many ways...i thought she was the one yada yada yada...like my moher once told me..dont ever chase a woman...she thinks your great..she thinks your wonderful but she does nkt want to be with you..fine then bi.ch..be on your way and stop wasting my time....DO NOT chase her. no contact...leave her alone...as soon as you give in..she will just run for the hills
  22. sukerbut
    hey is that not supposed to be under the poetry section..lol
  23. sukerbut
    Folks back from teh dominican republick and feeling refreshed..to top it off i saw my ex in a LI neptunes (day club in the hamptons) pic and she looks horrible ..haha ..anyways all i want to say..i feel so great...Not only do i not miss her anymore i wonder whaat the hell was wrong with me..i have learnt so much , i have made so many new friends and have reconnected with so many people from teh past i almost feel blessed she decided to do what she did. Dating around its summer...back in shape..the only thing i wish for that business would be alil better but hey cant complain too much. So do yourselves a favor..get outthere...reunite with old frinds..you will be so surprised how great that feels..make some new ones along the way. and stop pining over somone that was so ot worth your time. It hurts like hell i know...that rock bottom feeling you think you have hit..will only gets worst before it gets better...but the silver linig is worth it..i ahve so many things to do now and with so many new people..i just do nt know how and when i am going to fit everybody in my schedule..i had a weird dream last night .... my friend jim is getting married in real life..i dreamnt his ex g/f had sent him a package telling him..i miss you with teddy bears chocklates and cd's .... and i guess this is our fairwell..i will miss you etc...we ate the chocklates istened to the cd and laughed at how pathetick she was...well in real life iw as that girl even a couple of months ago..now i am laughing at myaelf for being such a weak loser...DONT BE THAT LOSER IN MY DREAM! move on they have..all you are doing is belitteling yourself and feeding their ego. WHY? who are they..a nobody any more in your life..they decided to leave you and i . I look back and i wonder what the hell was wrong with me..and the past is not even that far away. BE STRONG STCK TO NC and move on..i promise the liberating feeling is a great one....
  24. sukerbut
    helped me out...as soon as i found out she was living with someone i was done.. completely healed overnight..weird..i pined for her to come back for 6 months...but once i knew this...the flame just died..actually i am repulsed by her now...
  25. sukerbut
    you cant be friends wiht some one you are truly in love with..no contact..especially since thhings are good between the two of you..other wise you are going to continously hurt and eventually you will blow up in front of her...
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