teacup
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Everything posted by teacup
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you really think guy 2 likes me? we did sake bombs at the sushi restaurant. he wasnt eating much. but i did. and then he ordered another round of sake bombs which i thought was too much. then we went outside the restaurant, went to his apartment and i laid down on his bed cuz i drank way too much. he didnt try anything. then i threw up in his sink. then i laid on one part of his sofa, while he laid on the other half (separate) and we kind of nuzzled until the very end where we kissed. he apologized for pressuring me to drink (i didnt really think he did? but not sure) and for kissing me. i told him i was curious how it was. i told him i wanted the picture of us (the waiter took one at the restaurant) on the fridge. i was in the car at that time, he said i could go up to the apt to get it or just wait until next time (if there was a next time he said). then he drove me home, and when i was getting out of the car, he said "just email or call me." and i said "you call me." then when i was at home, i thought i forgot to thank him, so i called him (was that wrong?) to say thank you and sorry about the sink. does that sound like he's interested or am i just getting jerked around all over again? damn im totally tripping and hella sad.
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but why does guy1 just want sex and not a relationship? =( if i am pretty enough to sleep with, why am i not good enough to date? or for something more? i cant change this can i?
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guy1......the first time i hung out with him, he was trying to sleep with me, not date me. the second time, we made out and i asked him "should we see each other?" and he agreed. i left him my cell number by IM yesterday night. when will he call, if at all? he told me he likes me a lot and was always attracted to me, why does he not try to contact me? why doesnt he call or email me? - if he says he likes me, but he doesnt even bother, then i dont think he's interested. as much as i hope, what other reason could there be?
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look what i have done to myself. there are two guys i met at work. but i longer work there. i realllllly like one of the guys. he makes my heart flutter, i feel this great connection to him...he told me that he likes me a lot and was always attracted to me, but he never calls or emails me. it hurts my feelings.....that he would say that but doesnt make an effort to contact me. we made out once and i feel like i practically throw myself at him. (why did i kiss him? because i was curious and because i feel attracted to him.) the second guy likes me. took me out on a proper date. was good to me. didnt take advantage. at the end of the night we made out. but.....i feel like we dont connect even though he's nice.....i feel like he's not for me. (why did i kiss him? i was curious and wanted to know what it feels like.) these two guys are good friends at work. they always go out to lunch together. i told guy 1 about guy 2 wanting me to hang out. guy 2 doesnt know about guy 1. i want guy 1 but he doesnt want me. when i was kissing guy 2.....i kept thinking about how much i missed guy 1.....i wanted to erase him from my heart the whole time i was making out with the other guy. now i feel like such a whore. i've made out with both of them once. *sigh*. i want the one i cant have. and the one that wants me...i dont want. help..i feel so bad. and i feel so sad. trying to erase him from me didnt work.
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what is the difference between being attracted to someone, liking them, and being interested in them? and what is enough to cause a man to pursue a woman? what is needed to actually make a guy want to pursue a girl?
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thanks belle. i dont know how to get off the roller coaster. did you read this? link removed still think i should give him the benefit of the doubt??
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hey mun, i was tripping SO hard last week for no reason. i was really emotional because i wanted what i couldn't have. since i thought i couldnt have him anymore, i REALLY wanted him. i am the type that is very aggressive, tries really hard and goes after what they want and since i couldn't have him...i was going nuts. did you read this? link removed now im not sure i care. i mean, yeah i like him. but i dont care if we get together anymore. i dont think he's worthy of me. i think i am higher than him and i want more than he can offer. im younger, i pull a lot of guys (though i still feel empty), im a good person etc. at the end of the night, he told me to call him tomorrow or email him my number. i didnt do either. i dont feel like bothering. you said, he should come to me now right? i think so too. well, when we were making out, i told him that i hate guys that only want sex and that it's okay to want sex just not if it's the only thing. i want more than that. and i asked him if we should still see each other. and he said yeah. he told me he likes me a lot. (should i believe him even though he doesnt email me or contact me?) the thing is i read ppl's facial expressions and his facial expression seemed like it was real? it seemed like he felt affection for me. either way..... i need to find something else to put my mind on and to focus on. this isnt helping me. plus, when i went to his restroom, i noticed all these beer bottles on the ground and in the trashcan. i think he has some sort of alcohol problem. (even though he seems normal). but im not super interested in getting with someone who has alcohol abuse, broken family, and financial problems. it's ironic, but when you see someone in a more human and less than perfect light, suddenly, they dont seem so great. i am losing interest. i dont know why. i want to find someone who is really genuine and worthy of me. someone who wants to be with me and who i want to be with too. opinions? advice?
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the emptiness has nothing to do with men or abuse or past relationships. im just empty and finding out that men dont fill it. bleh. i need something else.
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he's playing games. he had no intention of following through. he just needed the attention to patch his wounded ego while things werent going well with his gf. yuck. i say kick him real hard in the nuts if u see him again.
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i got out of an abusive relationship a year back. kept myself busy for awhile and was doing fine. then i started to burn and crash. lately i feel this big emptiness inside of me. that i try to fill usually with men's attention. i attract guys, they ask me out, and if they pull away i try to get their attention back. but when i get it back it doesnt seem so good anymore. im bored and lonely and unfulfilled, no purpose, no point. i feel empty all the time. no real motivation to do anything. what is wrong with me? i know the men thing is like a temporary bandage. it's all games and it's no fun anymore. i havent met a really great guy that i think would be great for me. man, some of these guys, after getting to know them more, i suddenly dont care if i know them anymore. but it doesnt really make me happy. im losing interest. 1.isnt there something permanent that will fill this gaping hole in me? what do i do? 2. why the hell do i feel this way?
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ugh. u dont sound attractive to me at all. u sound like u play games and make a bunch of crappy excuses. if the message u gave these women was so clear, i dont think they would still call you and respond to you. women dont hate themselves that much. u must be giving them false hope in some way and making up a bunch of excuses about it. gross.
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i still think he was trying to just sleep with me the first time. that pisses me off a lot. how can someone think so little of me? im not that kind of girl. @#$@#@$!! well, not sure if i feel like contacting him now. GRR.
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okay, if anyone has read what i wrote here..... link removed i called him today and asked if i could come over. so i did. we talked, made out, dry humped (all clothes on).....so this is the second time i have seen him. whenever i am with him, i feel comfortable, i feel he is genuine and sincere and honest. i feel like i can trust him. and i asked him a lot about himself, and his answers seemed decent. he didnt ask me much questions about me but it was comfortable talking. except he says he never got the two emails i sent him otherwise he would have emailed back. i was puzzled, i could have sworn i sent it. he showed me his email account.....and there wasnt anything. how puzzling. i dont know if i believe him. he said we should see each other. date. and asked me to call him tomorrow or email him my phone number. (to use his work email instead). i said okay. but i want to protect myself at all costs. i asked him if it was only sex he wanted and he said no. he said when he was younger he was like that. (he is 36 now). he said if he wanted sex he could just call up a friend and do it with her. he said the last time he had sex was 7-8 months ago with a friend.so, i am going to not have any kind of sex with him at all. nothing nada. only making out and mabe dry humping. but anything else, no. i will hold strong and fast to this for a long long time (months) and we will see. when i am away from him i have doubts and feel uncertain, but when i am with him, i dont feel anything is wrong. but to make sure and to protect myself..... any one else have suggestions how i make sure to protect myself (just in case) he is not the good guy he appears to be?? (it will take time and tests to know for sure, and i want to take care of myself) one more chance. he seems real but i am not sure. there seemed to be open communication and we seem to get along well but i do not want to jump guns until i know for sure. so......how long do i wait? and how do i help protect myself? i must protect myself at all costs.
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yeah. i think that's true. it hella hurts. and it makes me really sick to get burned like that. i dont know how men can be so cold and gross. but i wish i were dead. i wish this pain would go away. ugh. i always thought he was cool, like nice and a good guy. and now i just want to puke. that's just so callous and disrespectful. what a awful, horrible thing to do to someone.
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sigh i am so stupid. i guess it would do no good to apologize for calling him old and white in another email right? gah, im so dumb. lesson learned: there's a difference between being honest and being rude and tactless. *sigh*............
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how did i back him into a corner? please explain. i would like to understand. thanks. but i keep thinking he just wants sex. the warning bells are ringing too clearly for me to ignore. im really horribly disgusted because i was hoping he was genuine. i thought we had real mental chemistry. and i thought he was a nice guy. but the clues are: 1. when he was listing his hobbies, he slipped sex into them. 2. he listed a bunch of things he liked about me, and slipped in i had a nice body. 3. when i asked him if he wanted my number on IM he said he didnt have a paper and pen and gave me his number instead. 4. he doesnt ask me questions about myself or what im interested in. 5. he just wanted to hang out at his apartment and not go anywhere. 6. he asked me to help him pick out new pants so he could donate his old ones to hurricane katrina. 7. he doesnt want to keep in contact during the week or when he's busy. 8. he apologizes for not emailing because he was busy with work. 9. he lied about not getting one of my emails, im pretty sure i sent it. 10. he got too affectionate on the first date and started stroking my arm and hair - made me think he hadnt had sex in a long time. i just think he really really wants sex and it bothers me. and something's wrong and i feel horribly uncomfortable. and im hurting again because i hate it when men do this to me. makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. i had to get this off my chest. his comments about sex and his seeming to want sex really really scared me. (i dont know if he wanted anything else). "often the best laid plans of men and mice often go awry." - i want to be a good person, i have the best intentions but i dont know if it's the world or just me but things just dont work out.
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if he didnt then, he wont now. he doesnt respect you. i think u should dump him.
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more replies?
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forgive me for what? i didnt do anything wrong. i just wasnt as clear to him about everything as i wanted to be and i tried to show him that through email.
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or did i jump the gun? there was this guy i hung out with once. and he was very affectionate on a first date and he seemed to like me (at least i thought he did). i told him then and there that i couldnt date him because he was too old for me and he was white. then after a few days i changed my mind and sent him a e-card asking him if he wanted to go some place with me. he hasnt had time because he's been working (though it does seem like he's had some time off). he did reply and said he wanted to go and the last time i talked with him on IM he said he hoped to see me soon. i dont know him well enough yet. but today i sent him an email saying how i was sorry if i confused him by giving mixed messages that time. i told him i was afraid he was just one of those guys who was after sex and that if he is though, im totally the wrong person. then i told him that a work friend of his asked me to hang out and that i hope it's okay with him. well, i have no obligation to him but i thought i might as well put it out in the open....right? i also told him that i miss him and want to see him. so now im wondering if i was too honest, and too open? does this make me seem weird or stupid or desperate? quite honestly though, i just hate playing games and i dont like misunderstandings and just wanted to clear it up. i feel like i laid all the cards on the table and now i see if i fold or what. did i get too hasty? or did i do the right thing? geez......
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well, one good turn deserves another. you gave me good advice so i offer you what i know. it's a good thing that you take some time for yourself and heal. it's also a good thing that you're not willing to accept her cheating and to take her back, this shows that you respect yourself despite how much you care about her. in relationships, we should all strive to pick people who will treat us the way we want to be treated and the way we deserve to be treated. you did not deserve to be cheated upon or to have your feelings hurt so abruptly especially from someone you cared about a lot. it is a good thing to forgive, but we do not always want to forget the lessons we learn. and about wanting to be yourself...yes it's a good idea to want to be yourself. i think part of going through pain is that we learn and grow from unexpected painful experiences even if it hurts like hell when we go through them. so take some time to figure out what u want. i know that i myself am meeting different guys and slowly figuring out that honesty, sincerity and integrity of character is something im coming to value, respect, and look for in others. and that this is becoming just as important to me as physical attractiveness. oh yeah, k.i.t you have a good head on ur shoulders. feel free to msg. and talk.
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i think that is a normal reaction. when someone you loved does something to betray you, you feel very confused and lost. you wonder what went on and if the love you shared was ever genuine. and then you wonder what you should do with ur time because someone that you cared about was torn from you. i think it makes sense to miss her, to mourn, to grief and to even forgive her because your being able to forgive her showed how much you genuinely cared for her. that you can overlook a transgression like that. but you also have a right to be angry, and you probably will be later on. perhaps the mourning is only the first stage of the process. either way, your gf does not seem to be emotionally healthy, steady and stable person. to bounce from one guy to another doesnt seem to be the choice of someone healthy who's ready to be committed and who knows what they want. if you are the type that is able to be very steady and steadfast, loyal and faithful and to love deeply. then my hat is off to you because to be true and genuine in today's world is a special thing indeed. i hope that helps give you some food for thought.
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he can give up in 3-4 years when we have all graduated college. then i dont care what he does. if he wants to retire then, it would be fine. i wouldnt forget about my parents even when im able to make my own money and income. but jesus, right now is a rotten time. we need the money for school and for basic needs and it's hard, it's hard everyone else working hard. i am embarrassed to even let others know that he is out of a job and that we have no income. i dont even know what to say, i dont want other ppl to know. it feels shameful and i dont want to be pitied. i have too much pride. yeah, he's defeated, probably depressed. i dont know. doesnt seem like it. he's not in touch with his own issues or himself. he doesnt do any work around the house (well except for the garden.) and im tired of seeing him all the damn time. yeah sometimes i feel sorry for him. but then he put me through a lot of rotten stuff too so sometimes im just plain angry. it friggin' sucks. i hope he gets a damn job somewhere. yeah hopefully i will find a guy who is ambitious, goal oriented, works hard, has a positive attitude and does not give up. everything my dad isnt.
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Anxiety, college, and father's verbal abuse.
teacup replied to Jen2007's topic in Parenting and Families
my dad is nuts too. he used to cut the phone cords with scissors so we couldnt use internet. hide the playstation cords and vcr cords so i couldnt watch movies/dvds late at night. put a password on the computer. changed the doorknobs with locks on our bedroom doors. call like a million times if we were out late and embarrass us. there would be this heavy feeling of disapproval in the house. bang and slam cabinet doors, take and keep the car keys in his room, take and keep the phone in his room so we couldnt use it at night, forbid us from picking up the phone if we didnt know who was calling, yell if i leave a plate next to the computer, kick me out of his room even if i was using the computer there, threaten to put more passwords on the computer, threaten, yell, control. he is usually nice to my mom but he is mean to me and i hate having him underfoot all the time. he gets into everyone's business. i dont have money to move out or get my own place either. and then he makes threats like "we're going to be homeless", or if you dont like the rules in "MY house, then you can move out." like i have any place to go.......then he throws all my failures in my face, the things i've done wrong. which is no excuse and justification for the ridiculous stuff he pulls. i dont want to put up with this bull#$% anymore because im not a child, i just have a lot of anger, resentment, hurt and hatred towards him. NONE of this made me any better as a person. in fact, im extremely rebellious and angry and more likely to do crazy things. the fact that my mom defends his actions and defends the crazy things he does, only pisses me off more. she knows it's wrong, but she finds justification for it to defend him. -
my mom refuses to get a job. i dont know what stops her, but she is incompetent and dependent too. he may be depressed but he denies it. says it's his business. and wont get help. so whatever. i see what he put us through. i dont want to deal with him. it's pathetic that someone with two master's degrees will not look for a job. pathetic.