pattysky

Stay strong and continue NC! I know you can do it, and believe me, she will be back. She seems to be playing with your mind because she has a boyfriend, and I'm sure he doesn't know about you. You deserve better than a girl that lies to people that she claims to care about.

Your welcome everyone and to Sonjam, I just loved that gorilla quote! It was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. pattysky

Hi, I know how you feel, because I used to be that way when I was younger. It's not all your fault either because some men like to get a jealous reaction from you and then they get mad when you get jealous. Just try to tell yourself everyday that you are unique, and there is nobody else in the world like you. If he really loves you, he won't leave you for something so small, instead he will reassure you that you are beautiful and special and that you are the only girl for him. Otherwise, let him go, you deserve the best and never settle or blame yourself for a man leaving you. much love, Pattysky

Very True...... Hi everyone, I found this and I read it everytime I feel like contacting my ex...It really helps, please read it and good luck continuing NC! There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this - when people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The Bible said that, "they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us." People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can' t get super glue and you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when peoples part in your story is over so that you don t keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of goodbye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in goodbye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know what ever God means for me to have he'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go. pattysky

Dear Lost, No human being deserves to be molested. Your mom is not well mentally, but she does love you in her own way, the only way she knows how. She was a weak person and she couldn't leave her boyfriend because of her insecurities. She took everything out on you, and the guilt she feels she turns into anger because it's an easier emotion to deal with. You can change your life, I promise, but you have to move out and fast. Get roomates if you have to, and if you qualify for medicaid, get it and go get therapy because it really helps you to understand yourself and others. It is the best thing you can do for yourself to build up your self esteem and to confront all the demons in your life. At some point in life, we have to forgive our parents and take responsibilty for own lives and you will. Start therapy first so that you can build your confidence to get a better living situation away from your mom for now. You really need to detach from her while you heal. I wish you luck and happiness and know that you are a wonderful human being that deserves good things in life. much love to you pattysky

Chai, is absolutely brilliant, I love his posts.

Hi, I understand your anger because I was dumped about 3 weeks ago. I am still very hurt and now the anger is settling in. At first I was in shock since he broke up with me in an email, but after that all I did was cry for a few days. Now, I'm so pissed off because of all the things he lied to me about, like wanted to get married, loving me and my son so much, etc. I'm trying to turn my anger into positive things and basically if someone doesn't want you, then it's time to move on. Letting go of the anger is hard, but it gives you your power back. Don't let anyone have your power. I don't want my ex back either at this point because of all the hurt he caused me, but I'm dealing with my anger day by day. I guess anger is an easier emotion to deal with than guilt, because I felt so guilty at first thinking if I had been different, he wouldn't have left me. Let go of your anger, enjoy your life, and don't let someone indirectly control you, you're worth more than that. I read a lot of great posts by Chai, check them out, they help a lot. good luck, pattysky

I wish we could read their minds, I have her email password but no way am I tempted to enter pandoras box. Quing Hi Quing, Wow, I had the password to my ex's email and I did open Pandora's box I shoudn't have and I regret it, but I was left in limbo and he was telling me that he loved me, he didn't want anyone else, but he needed space. This is a man that called me 6-7 times a day! He emailed an old fling trying to see what she was up to and I think she enjoyed telling him that she was getting married. He then went on to say, that he broke up with (me) a girl he met two years ago and he was looking to meet some new girls in about a month or so! I was devastated, and the next night I wrote him an email to change his password and to have fun next month with his new girls....well he became so furious that he wrote me a nasty email, and told me to f__k off and goodbye forever. It has been almost 2 weeks and I have had NC with him and even though I want to call so bad, I read all of your posts every night and it keeps me strong, and sane. I don't think he will ever come back and I'm so sad. pattysky

Wow, you guys have really opened my eyes to a lot of things. I want to thank you all. My story is posted on another link and I am going through the reverse senario where my boyfriend of two years broke up with me in an email! This happened about two and a half weeks ago and I have succeeded (with great pain and heartache) to enforce the NC rule! So far, I haven't heard from him and I cry everyday but I refuse to call him. I get weak sometimes, but I read all of your posts and I get strong again. You can read my posts and my whole story by going to my site under pattysky. I would like to get some different takes on what you as guys think will happen. I really appreciate it, Thanks still heartbroken, pattysky

Thanks everyone...I had a really really bad day of missing him today but I did not contact him! I cried for twenty minutes in the shower and I felt better. I see my therapist on Tues and I hope that will help me to remain strong during this healing time. This will be the first time I ever sought therapy, but I think I need it. If anyone out there has been in therapy, let me know if it's worth it. thanks, pattysky

Hi Geoff, I read the whole story and a lot of it has to do with your shyness. You must feel very out of control and when she rejected you, it must have hurt like hell. Shyness isn't all bad, but you need to build your confidence first. A lot of girls like shy guys as long as they have confidence, because loud obnoxious guys can be really annoying to girls. You seem kind and intelligent and I'm sure you are a loyal and trustworthy friend to those you care about. Make tomorrow the dawning of a new day for yourself and promise to look at yourself in the mirror and say "I approve! and I'm worth it" and you will be. If she doesn't want to at least be your friend, too bad, it's her loss. Shyness is overcome through accomplishments and good experiences with great people, so get involved with new things, do really well in school, and pick really great friends to hang out with. You will be just fine and one day when you are with the love of your life, you will look back and laugh to yourself how you went crazy over some girl that didn't even deserve you.

Wow, I can understand your dilemma, but there's an old saying that the grass is always greener on the other side... Be careful. Sometimes we think that we love someone else because of the "forbidden fruit syndrome" Then when we get that other person, we realize how much we have idealized them into this perfect being which does not really exist. I saw the movie "Closer" the other night and you should watch it. One of the main characters Jude Law, is in love with Julia Roberts, yet he has a beautiful girlfriend that is utterly devoted to and in love with him. He leaves his girlfriend for Julia and then Julia cheats on him and ends up leaving him!, and he then realizes what he lost in the other girl...but it's too late, she's gone. I'm sorry if I ruined the movie for you, but please don't break someone's heart that you really love just for a fantasy of what you think might be perfect...with someone new and mysterious right now. Good luck to you, and much love pattysky

Thanks RB, you are helping me to stay tough and stay away from my ex. He left me two weeks ago, and I wrote the whole story on another thread called "I need advice from men out there...Will he call me back? I am so devastated and hurt right now, but reading all these posts written by all you wonderful people made me realize that whether he comes back or not, I can't diminish myself and humiliate myself towards someone who has rejected me. The temptation to call is so great, but I know I will end up in tears again so I don't. The scary part is that I miss him so much and I wonder if I will ever hear his voice or see his eyes again. I don't think so. I hope the pain subsides with time, but right now, it is just unbearable. I just keep telling myself to breathe...

Hi, I know it seems really hard now, but stay strong and don't let her know how hurt you are. You especially don't want to let her see you sad. It gives her power over you. Just be tough and don't worry about meeting someone else so fast because it might make you feel worse. Pretend like you're over her and have no contact with her at all. You are young and you have so much time to find the right person. Stay strong, and my prayers are with you pattysky

I'm so happy for you! I love to read about success stories. I wish you happiness and and luck.

Hi, I am going through a breakup now, and everyone is telling me not to contact him. I agree with them because when I tried to talk to him right after the breakup, he was so angry and wanted nothing to do with me. I think if someone breaks up with you, it means they need time or they just want out. It hurts you more to go back after they push you away. Human nature is just like that for some crazy reason. Also, if you keep trying to contact them for answers that you want to hear, chances are, you will hear the opposite. The more you chase, the more they run I'm trying to be strong and have NC with my ex. He is the one that left, so I have to keep my pride and not talk to him at all. If he wants me back or wants to be friends, the ball is in his court because this is what HE wanted, not me. I hope this helps you to understand why NC is important after a breakup. Everyone is different and I guess some people can handle communication better than others. That's why, I'll think twice before getting involved with someone that is moody and sneaky with their emotions and feelings.

Thank-you so much You guys out there are awesome, I'm going through a nightmare, but reading all of your posts, has given me strength to carry on and not hurt, or humiliate myself any more than I already have... I really miss, and do love him. He has a good heart under all that anger, but I will take all of your wise advice and continue the NC rule! thanks and much love pattysky Stay tuned and I'll keep you posted.

Thanks Eric, Your honesty and words of wisdom are greatly appreciated. You are wise beyond your years and I promise to remain strong and continue to have NC with him. I'll keep you posted. thanks again, pattysky

Thanks to all who took the time to read my post.