QTpie87

so most of you already know about my ex problems and how i have been trying to come up with some way to make him understand how much i love him. well today i talked to him and i let him know what is going on with my health, and i also let him know that i am getting mentally better now that i am not taking the birth controle. well i told him how i was sad that he didn't let me have my chance to show him that i am better (with my mood thing) and i told him how i love him so much, but not the full thing because we are going to talk on monday @ school. well he said that he wanted to think about everything. i told him that was fine, but he is now thinking about giving me another chance to be with him. so please everyone pray for me and wish me luck, he is the most important person in my life. does anyone here believe in god? i was just wondering. well if you do then will you pray for me please. i just need help, i pray every night and i don't think it would hurt for others prayers and help to help me with this relationship also. well i am here if anyone needs any help. and i would be more then happy to pray for all of you. thankyou, love Qtpie87 P.s. if anyone out there does decide to help me and pray with me then will you let me know so i can relax a little bit. im just worried. thanx

why do you have to say that. i don't understand how that would chase him away. and i have to get it out. i might die in the next couple of moths and i need him to know. i can't not tell him, if i might not live to tell him. who knows how long i have left. i just need to tell him before it's too late. i might also be lucky enough to live and then if i tell him and he feels the same then hey it would have worked out. oh yeah and about what Beec said how can i meaningly say how i should mean so much to him also. thankyou. love Qtpie87

okay, so some (almost all) have said to stop trying and that my ex isn't worth it, but to me he is the most important person in my life and i know he has started to date someone, but it is only rebound and they wont last long because i know if he really likes someone and this girl is just there. well anyway i am going to tell him how much he means to me, but i need some help. you see there aren't really words to tell him how much he means to me, but i thought i wold give it a shot with like kind of a love speach. the only problem is i suck at writting and just confuse him. so i was wondering if there are any really really good love speaches that anyone could share with me. it has to be like big. im not going to tell him that i made it up because that would be lieing and i don't lie to him, but i would tell him (if it was the one that really tells him how i feel) that it is how i feel about him, and i might add or take away from it. well please just help me. i really don't need or want anyone else telling me to stop. you don't understand how much i love him. if this is what i feel is right in my heart then it is what i must do. well is there anyone out there that has been where i am now and maybe can give me an idea, or whatever. please don't tell me to stop that just really hurts my feeling and gives me no hope and believe me with how my life is going right now (im sort of dieing at the moment because of a desease that i have plus other problems that i wont bring up) i can use all the help and hope in this world. please help me while i still have time. thankyou, love Qtpie87 p.s. i want to look really nice when i tell him. i am a blone with hair about 6 or 7 inches below my ear, skinny, light skinned, brown eyes, some freckles, and i have a very nice personallity. well how or what do you think i can wear or do to myself to look pretty, what do men find attractive, clothing, make-up. and stuff.

no no no no no! non of you understand. it was for my periods. we didn't do any of that until like the last few months and when we did he did use a condom. we were safe, but he knows that i am off of it and he also knows that i didn't start it because of him.

that doesn't sound too healthy maybe you should talk with her. does she mean a lot to you, i don't know i just think that maybe if you were to comunicat with her like out to dinner or something when you aren't mad that it might help. if you are with her she should know how you feel.

no, hold up! i wasn't on the birthcontrole for sex. i have really bad periods that are not normal so my Dr. put me on them. we went out for 7 months before i was ever on it. he really loved me for me.

do you think that he might want to start over if things go well. it just is really weird he wanted nothing to do with me and now about a month later he wants to see if i have really gotten better and hang out. my mom said i wasn't alowed to see him anymore and she told him that over the phone but now he is calling my mom today to see if it would be okay if we hung out some time. this just blows my mind. i don't know what to think.

well, today i put everything my ex boyfriend ever gave me back into his locker and i just got put into his dance class. well he said he wanted to talk to me so while everyone was dancing we went and sat on the bleachers. well it prob. wasn't a very pretty sight for anyone watching us 'cause we were in a pretty big fight. well half way into our dicussion i was telling him about how that birth controle made me all phyco and how badly my ex hurt me. well and how badly i messed up and how bad i am sorry and still love him. well he was like you can't even be nice and i was all yes huh, im a lot better now, it's just i don't know how to act when im around you anymore expecialy when you act like you hate me. he told me he didn't hate me and i asked if i could just have a chance to show him that i was getting mentally better. he said the reason we broke up was because he couldn't take it anymore. well he says that he will start to hang out with me again and see how i act. so is he kind of giving me another chance to fix everything? it seems to me that sense he has only been dating the barbie for 1/2 a week and i think it is only rebound that maybe if everything goes well that he may be taking me back. well im a little confused has this happened to anyone here and turned out good. well thankyou fro all of your replys. Love Qtpie87 8)

NO, i don't think anyone really understands what i am saying. i have to tell him how i feel about him, but i just don't know how to make it out to be what it really is. which is a extremly lot of love.

Hey, well good for you! i was kind of worried there for a while because i haden't heard from you, but seemed to work out for the best then, right? well cool. yeah, im glad you got that all sorted out, now i just wish i could do the same. well good luck! love Qtpie87

well, as some know i have wanted my ex back for a long time. well i realize that i treated him not so well for a while. well we both did that but that is beside the point right now. you see he asked out another girl. well i think it is just rebound. we loved eachother so much. we gave eachother things that we can never give anyone else now. well i know that he still loves me. i still love him. he is afraid of being hurt again, i know that, i am too. well we talked today and i think i got somewhere with him. im talking to him tomorrow also. today i tried to explain how much i love him and how i treated him was the biggest mistake i will ever make and how i will never be able to love anyone the same again. well, it didn't happen. I just cried. it is so hard to express those feelings. how can i do that. i don't want to write him a note. i want to tell him how i feel about him, and see if that makes a difference and if we can start over. i just don't know how to express myself. i love him so much. I am lost without him and now i realize what i lost. i think that he might come back. but even if he doesn't i want him to know my feelings. i want to epress them so strongly that he wont have to question it. how? well im really looking for some help. this is my first time loving anyone this much and it hurts to even feel it. please help. thankyou all, love Qtpie87

MY ex is doing the same thing. i think its rebound. he says he likes her but he loved me for like ever and he still does and i know that. i don't think you should be with this other girl, why not waiting for a while and then maybe trying to start over with your ex. thats what i wish my ex would do because i still love him more then anyone. well thats only my opinion though.

HI, well i did it for all of you who know what im talking about. i went out and had a lot of fun last night. guys where asking me to dance and i even learned three new like country dances thingys. well anyway it was fun. I got a guys # (he is way hot) and it was just awesome. well by Ex or his sister were not there so that made it a lot more fun, but im going to keep going even if they do. MY and my friend called her bf MY ex's bestfriend and told him about how all these guys were dancing with us and all and he sempt to get kinda jumpy, do you think that when he tells my ex how much fun i had instead of (like i have been the last month in a half) sitting at home crying, it might make him a little jealious. Now what do i do? i know i should keep having fun, but what else can i do to possibly get more attention from the ex? Oh, yeah yesterday i got a private message saying not to go into rebound, but i don't even know what that means..?.. well anyway thanks, love Qtpie87.

okay, thankyou all for your help. i know i should stop being so worried, im mostly just worried about the sister thing, what if i do apologize and she trys to start a fight, im not just going to stand there and let her hurt me, i will apologize my best though. i'll just say im sorry and what i said was wrong so can we just leave eachother alone and have fun? is that good? well still what if she wants to fight, cuz that is one of the things we were yelling at eachother about. oh well, i guess i'll just have to go with my gut and do whats right. 8)

okay, i will have fun tonight, but i am really worried about his sister. i think if we got in a fight that i would kick her a@%, but i still really don't want to, and you kinda see everyone where im going because it's like barn dancing. aslo another question, do guys find it disgusting to have a little studd (earing) on the side of your bottom lip? i have one and im worried that it might make guys think im gross, im really not an ugly person, everyone says im pretty it's just i have known people to think diff. about others because of earings and such. also what if i meet a guy there that i really like? would it freak any of you guys out if you were at a dance place having fun and you started talking to a girt, she liked you and asked for your # and wanted to hang out sometime? oh, im just a drama Queen so once again i'll just shut my mouth and live with the replys i get. thankyou love Qtpie87

okay, so i talked to my ex today and he has asked the barbie to be his girlfriend. i only called because i was upset about my step dad and i am having some other problems (they are listed on my last post), well he said he didn't care and he doesn't care what happens to me. What is he talking about, we are best friends, whats going on. he used to love me so much. until i started taking birth controle and it made me crazy and then he started to slip away, but he has always said he would be there for me. is he going absolutly mad? im always there for him! i love him. well i have given up on getting him back, but im still not over him. i can't stop hurting or thinking about him. well my second question is, would it be wrong for me to go out to the dance factory in my little town tonight and dance and have fun with other guys and maybe see if i like any of them, even though i still love my ex. is this normal to seek the first thing that makes you happy at a time like this, should i just stop talking to him and find a new bf. also i don't trust guys anymore, what do i do, he took everything from me! what is happening to him? what is happening to me? oh god, i can't stop hurting so bad. should i just go out and have fun tonight with other guys? also me and his sister got in a huge cat fight over the phone and cussed eachother out, my ex says she might be where im going tonight, what should i do about that, im not going to not have fun just because of her. I don't know if i can ever love a man like that again for as long as i live after how bad he hurt me. anyway i'll just shut up, cuz i really don't know where im going with this.

well, the reason we broke up is because when i started to take the pill i became very clingy, and i already was, but i got worse. i never wanted to be away from him because i didn't feel safe at home with my step dad. i also began to get a very low self-esteem and i started worring about other girls and my ex. well i would freak out at the littlest thing and i would cry and cry and he would be good to me and hold me and ask me what was going on and i would tell him its my mom, or me s-dad, or something like that. well i that def. wasn't a good enough reason to be acting like that, but know i know what happened. like my Dr. said i wouldn't be able to controle my mood or emotions. so i didn't really know what was wrong and that just happened more and more until i pushed him away. i just hope that he will understand that i couldn't do as much as we thought i could about it and , i hope that he forgives me and will just give me another shot. we were like the perfect pair. i love him so much.

okay, i put a rather large post on here last night and this one is going to be long too so please read the whole thing and help me out a bit. well my ex wont give me another chance even though we had a really good thing going for the two of us, and it was both our faults we are broken up, but i started it. i never really knew what happened until now. i just called my diabetic Dr. in salt lake (Dr lindsey) and told him how i felt and he asked me what meds i was on and he flipped out. i am on birth controle for my periods. i stopped taking it about 3 weeks ago when i thought i was pregnant well i wasn't so i started it agian well my Dr. said to get completely off of it because for some girls it will make them just go crazy and not be able to controle their moods or anything. well he said it really has messed me up a bit and i told him about some other things that have been going on right now and he said that with my depression, my step dad, my dad, my ex's best friend dieing and my diabetes that i have to stop taking it or i will get overly suicidal, which i have, and not be myself, which i haven't been. he said that i should have never started taking it with my personality and my insulin.he said i wont be normal for a few months, but it will be okay and back to normal in a little while. well 6 months of us dating is when i was taking it and that is when it all started. i would cry for no reason and buy a ticket for the pitty party express. well on top of that dumb pill i am afraid of my step dad, he almost beat me the other day until my mom stopped it and he has hurt me really bad before whem my ex was in mexico. well now that he isn't dating me anymore and he doesn't know about what is going on at home he can't protect me from him anymore. and my step dad knows that. MY s-dad took me the other day and said he wanted to be friends and that he was sorry, but then he was going to beat me with his belt 5 days later. DUMB! well then my dad is crazy, i can't hold a convo. with him for more then 10 or 15 min. and he has taken so many drugs that he cant even remember his name half the time. he doesn't remember my birth day or any other holiday. he came down with my grandma for christmas to stay for 6 days and left in 3 days because there wasn't anything for him to do. A#$ wipe! well then im not good enough for my mom no matter what i do. my great granddad is still dieing ( slowly) and AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! i am going to be back to myself soon and my Bf prob wont believe me. i love him and don't you think if he ever loved me that he will see me as i am getting better and notice. because im already starting to be able to controle myself more. i feel horrible. if it weren't for that pill we would still be together. i talked to my big sister today and she was on the same birth controle and says it did the same thing to her and she didn't stop taking it for almost a year, but when she stopped she got better. well how can i show him i am going to be me again and do you think if i was me again that he would want me back. before i started this pill everything was perfect. i hurt so bad, i feel like i have lost the most important part of me ever and it wont come back with out him, and im right. i also feel like im dieing and i have no soul. please help me. love Qtpie87

i have heard that it makes the guys feel like the girl is too aggressive and desrerate. are you a guy or a girl? how do you feel about it?

NO... You sound like you still may care about her and i bet she still really cares about you. please don't do this to yourself or her. i have missed my ex so horribley and he wont give me another chance (prob. cuz of that whole weak thing you were saying). im dying here, you need to take that chance if you ever really cared about her, please! It's not going to make you look weak, men are always so worried about being wrong and all but to me weakness is when you can't attmit that you may have been wrong. I would think it would make you look like more of a man being able to go to her and say you were wrong and you want her back. Always take chances, don't let this once in a life time oportunity for the two of you to be happy pass you up. if you don't do it now it could be too late, soon! Just take my word for it. im a girl and i think that men are smarter, and cooler, and have more self-esteem when they can say they were wrong. see ya, love QTpie87

thankyou all, but about the last two replys. i respect your opinion. it's just i don't want another guy, i don't care who else would come after me, brad pitt, anyone. i don't care if they were the sweetest, richest, cuddlyest, best guy ever, i love him and only him and even if there was another guy that did treat me better, i wouldn't want him, he is all of the apove except for rich and that means nothing to me. if being with him meant that i had to live naked in the snow and starv i would. i love him and no man can ever out do him, im not saying that any of you are less then him, because no one is better or worse then anyone else, just he is best for me. well thankyou and please keep posting. love QTpie87

okay, (this is a long post but i need help, im going to break if i no one here can help, if you have ever been in love, truley in love,then you will know how i feel) so, i have known my ex for almost two years and it seems like i have known him all my life. i can tell when he is hidding something, i can tell when he is sad and only acting like he is happy, i can tell when you shouldn't get in his way even when he hasn't said or looked at me or who ever person/people are there, but most of all i can tell that right now he is lieing to himself and saying he is happy when the truth is he is in pain and wont let anyone help. we broke up 1 1/2 months ago and i think he is starting to see that i am not the only one here who is still in love. i know him better then anyone and he knows me better then anyone and he knows that all i want is for him to be truly happy, not to settle for the first thing that comes, but to reach for the brightest star out there. HIs best friend died 6 months ago almost 7 and he was my firend too, even though i didn't know him near as long as my ex did, but i still cared for him. well heres the thing, my ex ( i'll just call him Kolby) had this crush on this girl for a few year, but not while we were dating. she is a dirty ho! not because im jelouis or anything she just is. they aren't even really bf and gF yet and she is doing all this stuff with him she shouldn't , i don't think she really cares about him, i just think its to get back at me. she never liked me, and she had no reason. well she isn't good enough for him and he if lieing to himself. he is changing so much and i know our friend that died (i'll call him tony) wouldn't like who he is turning into. they used to do everything together and now kolby wont do any of it. i think that tony would like to see kolby be himself and like to see him really be happy and know that tony is in a better place now. tony would like to see kolby do the thing they used to do everyday and have fun. well i told this to kolby and he said he would think about it and i guess that he didn't really put much thought into it. i can't lay back and let this happen, kolby can find a non ho girl and one that will treat him how i should have and see him how i do now. i know kolby knows himself better then i do, but when you love someone you also see things in them much bigger and who they really are. he knows just as well as i do he isn't happy. but he also is hidding it from himself and wont let himself keep living to be who he is. how can i get this through to him. there has to be someone out there that wont tell me to back off and give up, one of you here have the answer. i truly love him and can't let this happen to him, i will do anything but sit back. is there a game i can play with him without him knowing im playing so he will start to come back and realize that kolby is still here and happier then new kolby. please i would give my life for him. im writing down all of our memories (happy and funny ones) will that be a good start. and where do i go from there. also how do i bring miss barbie out to be the real person she is so kolby can see she isn't right. thank you, love Qtpie87

well so my EX and i are not seeing eachother for a while because of my mom and because we just need some space. well i have been tring to get him back, and i was thinking about it and i well, i had something cool to give him (it was a photo of us while we were still dating and we are sitting on this rock together in a river, well its way cute and he doesn't have a copy) so maybe after a little while (2 or 3 weeks) i will put it in the frame i bought him (also while we were dating) and put it in his locker. maybe that would bring back some nice memories of us loving each other. well do any of you think that that would effect him at all. IN a good way. well thanx, love QTpie87.

HEy, You know what i am exactally where all of you are right now. i dated the man of my dreams for 11 months and we always talked about how everything will be perfect and we would get married and spend the rest of our lifes with each other and have children. well he dumped me a while ago because i am having so many problems right now that i don't deal with right. instead i freak out and i become a total *beep* well jan. 12th would have been our 1 year anniversery. i don't know how to get him back. he is starting to go out with this other girl, but i think that if he ever really loved me and i meant that much to him then he would give me one chance he started to like her two weeks after we broke up and now (i think she is a slut for this) she is already sticking he tongue down his mouth. i called him today and i did something i prob. shouldn't have done. i threatend suicide. he asked me to wait so he could think about things he also promised he wouldn't tell anyone, but he called my grandpa. i told him that i wasn't going to do it because of him, i just cant stand to have the one i love right in front of me and not be able to do anything about it. so i just called to say goodbye. well if i decide to go threw with it then i just wont call him. i guess i will just leave him a note. even if there was someone out there better then me i wouldn't want it. i love him and he is the best man alive i love him. well if i can't get him back then i am going to just go threw with it. i wont live without him. My mom is tring to make it so i can't even see him anymore. well will someone please help me and tell me any possible way to get him back. once again if i can't have him then i won't go on living. P.S. do any of you believe that if you pray about it and ask for forgivness and just tell god you can't do it anymore then you can still go to heaven? oh and how many asprin would a person have to take to kill themselfs?

well hey, first to the monaters this is very much alike my other posts that you say were reposts, but i promise this is the last time you will here this Question, henc my last chance. so please don't take it off or kick me off again. well, tomorrow morning i am giving him all of his things back. i just can't look at them anymore. it has been two months that we have been broken up and i am dying inside. everyday i feel more gone and like i just can't go on living anymore. i don't want to live anymore! i need to get him back. he is the one i want. i don't understand how to tell or show him that i have changed. i was just going threw so much, i couldn't take it, but i didn't tell him and it only messed everything up. i was worried to tell him because i didn't know if he could deal with anymore (his best friend died and that was a lot for him to deal with) i just tried too hard to put aside my worries and help him. believe me he is worth it. well it started eating me up and i started to become so over hurt that i started to change and freak out at the littlest thing. i would start to ball my eyes out and he would get so sick of it, he would ask me what was wronge and i would yell and make up lies that would cover up what was eating at me. well it wasn't the best idea. really because of how much i love him, so i shouldn't have treated him like that and i shouldn't have hidden my feelings and i should have talked about my problems with someone. it tore us apart. Its just i love my dad so much and he is going crazy and they almost keep putting him in an insaine Hospital or whatever you call them. he calls me and can't hold a convo. and he is just crazy, he is on pot and crack and who knows what else. plus i am having horrible nightmares about My ex's best friend. he was my friend too. i keep dreaming that he is right there and i can stop him from dying and i don't. it is my fault that he is dead. IM not joking. the night we all went to a movie he died. i was going to tell my ex to call and ask him to come and i forgot to. if he would have been with us, nothing would have happened to him. PLUS, my step dad is abusive, mentally mostly, but he has gotten in some major physical fights with me. i was going threw a time where i didn't want to live, only didn't have the guts to kill myself, so i cut myself once, not badly. my ex made me promise never to do it again so i haven't becaues i love him and i don't want to hurt him. well a lot of good that did. now everything is just worse i want to die and am starting not to fear it. i want to bleed slow and feel the pain to lessen the pain in my heart. but i still love him so can't do it. you know what they say, you never know how much you love them to you lose them. it is so true. i have really bad anger and depression problems and i can't hardly controle them half the time(more then half really) my ex thinks im bi-poller. i just love him so much. well tomorrow i get to see him and i believe that if he ever loved me that much at all that he would look into his heart and realize how much i love him ( i know i do because i would die for him in a heartbeat and he has treated me very badly latly, just like i deserve and i still love him) i just wanna know. is there anything anyone suggests i should do tomorrow. i can't imagin living with out him because of my own mistakes. i can treat him like i used to, better, like he deserves. i can treat him better than any girl can. i can't go on like this. i pray everynight to get him back and for him to know how sorry i am and how much i love him. what can i say. what can i do. i cant and i wont keep going on like this my diabetes is out of control right know and i feel like im dying. i don't care about anything anymore. i only think of how i messed up my life by losing him. he is the world to me. PLEASE HELP!