eimono

Here are my searches link removed AND link removed Look at the other results, there are many of them that are negitive. All I'm saying is from the results, it's much more used from what I can tell.

Funny, I've never heard a woman called that, no one I asked has either. Not saying you're wrong but I did a search on google for more information. Quick Google Search: Minute-man +orgasm (so to not get the minute-men of the colonial war) - 2,370,000 results Google Search: frigid woman +orgasm hits. 87,100 results And so I read one of the FIRST few reslts on frigid woman and got this: I think it's looked as more of a male problem. If a woman can't get off her guy is doing something wrong. But if I guy can't get off it's his fault. That is the view that society seems to have, not saying any of it is right. As for the rest of your comment, I assume you're talking to someone else about that... but I will say one last thing. In my opinion, sex is almost 90% emotional and 10% physical. If either side is not getting off or just enjoying sex, there is a bigger issue at hand. It is all about enjoying something together that is special between only the couple. The act of enjoying each other and sharing that intimacy helped by the physical stimulation is what makes a really extraordinary orgasm.

Here is a link to the durgs for men... link removed I've also read before they have had drugs out there, but the problem with men is they tend to forget to take it... or didn't care enough to remember. P.S. Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy. -- Henry Kissinger

Ok, while you had a very good point, it got lost in most of your rant. First, it's very unfair that men are labeled with titles such as "minute-man", made fun of on TV, in jokes etc... But I don't know of a single joke or title about a women who can't reach orgasm. That is a double standard there. However, that are infact, very few drugs on the market for women and their sex drive. They are there, but from what you and I've seen, it's 1/50th of the ones for men. I would guess that might be because traditionally women's sexual side hasn't been embraced. That is society, not just women, who are to blame there. There are side effects to birth control, sometimes they even reduce sex drive and sensitivity. So the very thing women take to have sex could make them not want it as much. I think there are double standards on both sides. Why is it still mostly seen as the women's responsiblity to take birth control? Why do men get tormented if they can't perform? Hopefully your point isn't going to be lost in the fact you're ranting and generalizing women. P.S. I'm a man.

Good question, maybe I'll think about that after I'm finished pondering about my clone question.

Well, what if she was busy at work? Or wanted to go out with her friends? That way I'd always have one around to enjoy. But lets say for arguments sake, that memories are just electrical pathways in the brain, and that we have developed a way to reproduce those pathways and thereforeeee reproduce memories and personality? So what we really have is two complete copies?

Um... lets just say hyperthetically speaking... ;-)

Hi all, I was wondering if you thought it was wrong to have a sexual relationship with a clone of your GF? I mean since they are the same person, DNA speaking, it's not really cheating is it? And it's not like I'm thinking of someone else because it's her, just another version of her... So what do you all think? Is it wrong? Would you do it?

Bostich, Look at your messages... You hacked into his account and he is mad. Well yes he is mad, you invaded his space and privacy. And then you say "But do you think it gets to a point where its been too long, like the person is holding onto anger in an unhealthy way?" You're just trying to escape the guilt of doing something wrong and blame him in the process. This is YOUR insecurity and YOUR mistake. Let him come to terms with it. Look at it from his point of view, you didn't trust him enough to keep from snooping on him. How would you feel if he checked your phone bill to see the numbers of people you talk to? Usually when someone does snooping like this, there are serious issues in the relationship BESIDES the action. And the relationship is not as good as people would like to think it was. Last point is this. If you won't give someone to prove they are trustworthy, then they will often begin to not care since they have nothing to let down.

Okay, I've been doing NC for 1 month, 1 day, and I'm sick and tired of thinking about her and missing what we had. I know we had all those bad problems. I know that she wasn't getting any better. But I can't seem to get over her. Been going to a counselor for 1 1/2 months now, not helping much. Read books, tons of messages on these forums, and still keep going back down low. I broke it off with her... and she hasn't called. I think that if she did that would make me feel a little better. And yes, I know I have a co-dependancy problem that I'm still trying to solve. But no matter what I do I can't stop thinking about her. How she was a good person under all the problems she and I had. Simple fact is I had a connection with her that I've never hard with anyone in my entire life. (family included) So what else can I do here? I'm driving myself nuts trying to stick with this NC and get over her. But so much of me doesn't want to let go. Help please!

You know, most people do this until they start to realize that the problem isn't all the other bad people in the world, it's you. Before you get all upset with what I just said, think about it for a bit. You attract and are attracted to people who are like you. Most often what happens is you are lacking something and looking to someone else to complete it. For example, myself, I have had problems with self esteem. I thought the best I could do is take people who had problems and fix them. WRONG answer and each time I wound up with what I went after. A loser who just brought me down. Other friends I have do something else... They have problems with anger so they find some submissive guy who takes it. Then they get mad that he doesn't make any choices for himself. Or that he won't take a stand on things. The problem isn't the other person, it's that they went after someone because of their problems. To break the pattern we have to fix ourselves FIRST. Then when you are happy and a safe person you will attract and be attracted to good people. Start with your support network and make good friends. Go from there. Good luck.

Man, if my ex called me and told me that, I don't think I could tell her no. That's what I wanted her to do, go get help with her problems. Admit she did some wrong, and of course change. I totally understand what you're saying about not wanting them back after they have hurt you. But the thing is this... People can change, but it usually takes a lot of pain to do it. For me, I had been hurt enough that it made me break up with her. It made me see how I needed help for myself. So I started going to counseling. I got involved back with all my old friends. It did change me... Now I know I want to be projecting my feelings on to her, but if she really did change too then we could be happy. I think you told her the right thing, I just don't think I'm strong enough to tell my ex that if she said the same thing to me. I'm in week 3 (almost 1/2) of NC now. She sent me a card for thanksgiving but I didn't reply. Congrats on staying strong, I hope we all can be that way when our time comes too.

Thanks for the support... Did you mean to say contact her??? I assume you ment not contact her.

I don't want to meet someone new right now. I know that as much as I'm hurting it wouldn't be fair to someone else. Plus, I'm not sure who I am anymore. I want to be secure in that before I start looking for someone new. So I've kept myself away from the dating scene. That just makes it harder in a way too. Yesterday, last night most of all, was very hard for me. I missed her so much and couldn't get her off my mind. Woke up thinking about her again. But seeing as how she hasn't tried to fix her end of things, nor really contact me she doesn't care. Or she moved on. I need to do the same once I can find the strength.

10 months. We did everything together and it's so hard to enjoy anything without her. I had a connection with her that I've never had with anyone else before. (been married even) I keep trying to convince myself that it's totally over and that I will move on. But then I keep thinking to myself maybe she will change and get some help... just maybe if...

Hey guys, Well I made it through the weekend, without contacting my ex. I wanted to so many times, just to hear her voice. She sent me a card for thanksgiving, but I didn't reply. Still doing the NC thing. It's just so hard, I miss her so much. I know, there were those bad times and I have to keep reminding myself of them. I just feel so alone and miserable without her in my life. After three weeks I had hoped things would be better. Doesn't seem that way and when I read people still having problems after six months I just get even more worried. life is just so hard, when does it ever get better?

I think that we can love someone TOO much. Let me explain, you love them so much that you let those little things go by without saying anything. You make excuses for them and pretend in your mind that they will change for the better. I think this is projecting our love on them, and then in our minds assuming they have it too... But they often don't. The little signs we ignore, the problems we accept, all tell a different story we don't want to hear. So I think we can love too much. And I know with me, I love to love to the point I don't see the real person. And in the end, I get hurt because they didn't return my love.

Yes, I'm very close to where you're at. I too had to break it off with my ex. It's been two and half weeks. She broke NC last wed to get her coat back, but I've not talked to her or seen her since. It's very hard, but I try and force myself to do other things. We had plans for thanksgiving and it just makes it even harder. I just came accross a great song today... I keep forgetting (Every time you are near) by Michael McDonald. A few choice lines: "I keep forgettin things will never be the same again I keep forgettin how you made that so clear" and "But darlin I keep forgettin W're not in love anymore" It's so hard to forget those bad things, and want the good ones back. And I want to find out how she is doing so bad. I want to hear her say those words I want to hear. But really, the bottom line is we are over. And I have to find that happiness with myself and MY life. Not in someone else... I know that's where I need to get to, but don't know how to get there yet. I too have been involved with old friends and filling my time with things that I really don't want to do. But really, what I want is to be with her. And since that can't happen, nothing else will do. So why not just go through the motions now, as time goes on things will get better and I HOPE we will enjoy what is just fake now.

Many of us are here with you. I'm scared to death when my ex comes by or calls. She called me last week to get her coat back. FIRST thing I did was not answer the phone. (yeah I have caller ID) Second thing I did was call two friends up and ask for support. They gave me a little help and reminded me to be strong when I dropped it off. Don't let yourself forget the bad things they did to you. Remember why things didn't work out. DO NOT make excuses or play "maybe if" games! Just work on yourself and be strong in NC. If she calls tell her you are busy and can't talk to her right now. No need to be rude, no need to make up a lie, just say that and get off the phone. You're doing good, keep it up.

Whoa, I did a double take when I read this. My ex had problems with this too. Search my posts, two months into the relationship I knew it was going to be a problem. Yet I stayed with her and tried to help her get better. It never happened! She would have a terrible time, sometimes break down in the middle of the day for no reason. And you know, in the end it was a major factor in the end of us. She had guilt, anger, resentment that she lost someone so close etc. And it came out on me. I know it's hard. I'm two weeks and one day out myself. Just take it one day at a time. You sound a lot like me, you put all of yourself into the realtionship. It failed, but don't think you did for trying. You should be proud that you gave your best. Someday we will find someone who will give their best in return.

Yes, It can help you in many areas. One thing is it's good to get an unbiased view of your life. See areas you might have missed and help improve them. While it's normal to go through all those emotions, it's not that you are not eating three weeks out. Just talking sometimes helps. So yes, I'm currently doing it too. I knew many of the issues and problems I had. What I didn't know was how to get over them for good. I tried in the past but kept repeating many mistakes. It's helped me and I'm sure it would help you too. Good luck, post back here for more support too.

Hi All, Just wanted to remind myself, and anyone else who cares, an update. Today marks two weeks and one day since I broke up with my ex. It's been really hard and seems like months. I've been doing NC and it's being going as well as can be expected. I did however, get a call from her on Wednesday. She wanted her coat back and I had to take it over to her. I was so scared, I didn't know what was going to happen. I knew that a lot of my anger and passed and I was back in the maybe “if” stage again. I didn't trust myself and just didn't know what would happen if she said the words I really wanted to hear. Well as it turns out, I went over there. I knocked on the door and she answer. I handed her the coat and she said “oh, thank you.” I said “you're welcome” and then started to walk away and said “goodbye.” It was so very hard because all I wanted was her to say sorry and ... But I knew that would fix things. I knew that I was weak and didn't trust myself. So I made myself start to leave. Well she rolled her eyes with a mad look and slammed the door shut. No goodbye or anything. It hurt, but in the end it was the best thing for me. I still think about her every day and wonder how she is doing. It's so easy to forget about all the bad times and just remember those good ones. To want that and think “maybe if” that things would work. But really, the more I look back, the more I see that I did that for so many months. I just have to hope that someday I will find someone who is really good to me. That won't be abusive, verbally or physically, and will be able to love me as much as I love them. Can't said I feel that way now, but trying hard to make it there. Tomorrow is always a new day.

Ant, It's normal to lose the anger that made the beginning of NC possible. And then your mind starts to focus on all the good times you had. That's okay too, BUT, don't forget the bad times either. Remember that there were things that made you two break up. Don't make excuses for him or why they happened. They did, accept it and understand that there is someone out there who it won't happen with. You will love again, but you need to get yourself back to a place where you can be loved. By that I mean right now you are hurt, sometimes angry, and depressed because someone treated you wrongly. That is a normal part of healing. But what if the person God wants you to be with came along today. They may not want to be with you right now. So just focus on healing, finding God's will for your life and everything else will work out. Be strong, know that you're not alone.

itry, My ex was abusive too. I left her just last week and know what you mean about feeling guilty. I all too often find myself thinking of the good things and times we had together. Then I start to think maybe she would change? Maybe she would see how the things she did hurt me... And maybe, we will be okay if I just "hold on for one more day." But the truth is, they don't change unless something makes them *want* to change. For me, the last day I looked at her face as she was saying hurtful things to me and I saw what I was making excuses for in the past. Someone who took their anger and problems out on me because I was an outlet for them. I looked back a the last few weeks and realized that I wasn't really happy. And that I had been working to keep the relationship all by myself. I looked at her and didn't know when she might blow up (she had that day already a little) and could not spend another day like that. So I broke it off. It was so hard to do that, but I know it was the best thing for me... and maybe her. As wrong as it may be, I want to think this will make her change. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. But we deserve better then to be treated like this. I just cling to the hope that someday we will find that person and who will love us like we deserve. You did the right thing, just remember to not forget those bad times and how you wouldn't let a total stranger treat you like that. So you sure don't want to be with someone whom you love that would either.

I've been doing NC for a week and two days now. It's so hard, I too want to just know how she is doing. If she is alright... It hurts me to think that she is hurting since I broke up with her. But I know it was the right thing to do for me and maybe even for us. (Read my posts for more) I've been trying very hard to stay busy with my life as well. I got more involved with my church. Signed up for serving food on thanksgiving at the salvation army. Got some new video games to keep me busy at home. But there will always be that time, hardest for me is just before bed, where I can't do anything but think about her and us. I start to think about all the good times and think the bad were really not that bad... [-X And this, is the most dangerous part of NC. It's when I (we) start to question the NC and think it may be ok to break it. Do what I did, call a friend. Or go out and spend time with someone else. It is just too hard to fight yourself when you love someone to not want to be part of their lives. But there is a reason for all this and I know God will show us someday. We just need to hang on and let Him work in our lives. We need to forgive, but not forget the bad. Everyone was put in our lives for a reason. We may not see it right now, but it was for a purpose. One last thing I have to say, and has been said before by others. God wants us to be happy. And when we are happy, we attract those who are happy too. Work on making our lives and selves happy, alone right now. Someday someone will see that happiness and want to share theirs with us.