AC874

For the last 2-3 weeks, I have been "seeing" this girl who is 18 (im 22).. who is the pastor's daughter at my church. Very beautiful girl, who I completely fell for. We both agreed that we liked eachother, and wanted to work towards attaining a relationship. One problem.. her parents were hesitant given that she was coming out of an emotionally challenging relationship, where the ex-boyfriend broke up with her some 3 months ago. She is all over me, keeps saying that she is sure she wants to do this.,. but that we should take it slow so that her parents can ease their way into this. I take her for dinner/coffee, then a drink with soem friends of mine. Again she says all night "I really like you, I have no inhibitions with you, I dont want you to confuse my parents doubt for my doubt". Again we are kissing all night.. its all good. But she asked if I was ok not seeing eachother for 2 weeks, per her parents request.. that she assess her situation and see if she really wanted this after the "break". Yesterday, I sent her a text just to confirm that we are on the same page about things. She says "No we are not, I feel like you are way more serious than me about this, I lost a part of myself in this other relationship, im not sure I can give myself to you"... this less than 24 hours after our night together. So I wrote her the following " I woke up today feeling bummed about things. Actually i'm in disbelief that less than 48 hours ago, you were telling me that you were sure that this is what you wanted. Just 2 weeks ago, you and I were watching the party boat... and now we are here. I am not a quitter, and perhaps I have a bad habit of sometimes beating the proverbial dead horse...So I apologize in advance for this essay. We really shouldnt give up on this so easily. We share many things in common...especially that we are both christian, and that this remains something that is important for both of us. I also feel like we share the same ideals. Perhaps we were moving too fast, for both of us. I understand your hesitations, and that of your parents. I am ready and willing to deal with that. In my view, It is so much easier to destroy than to build. But I really think that if we at least gave this a fair chance, that we would both see that there would be many good times ahead. In all fairness, we never GAVE this a chance. Contrary to your perception, I am not looking for something that is deemed "serious". The term "serious" is what one makes of it. There is a lot of pressure that comes with that term, when it's something that naturally happens in time or not at all. Initially, I am more looking to have fun... and share experiences with somebody. If it were to blossom into something with substance, then so be it. Fun means apple picking, dancing on the party boat, going to hockey games, visiting a museum or a church in the old port, walking by the water... maybe even roller coasters (if your lucky). Just like you Abi, I am scared of getting hurt. Just like you, I lost a part of myself in my previous relationship. But dont you think that we both had this experience for a reason? I really hope that you will re-consider... and I hope to see you at the Bell Centre on Oct 14th for season opener. Regards," IM SO FREAKING CONFUSED!

No I just wrote her. She has no clue who I am haha... anyway here's hoping.

Need some tips here. So many thanks in advance. There is the girl on myspace, and I have seen her profile many times. She is single and looking for "dating". She is christian like me, and I find her sexy/ and see similarities in our experiences that she has put on her blog. So I wrote her a message of encouragement, pretty much telling her that her "testimony" was really touching. What is the next step? How do I play it cool, yet get myself noticed by her? Any tips?

She was everything to me. The first girl I ever knew how to love, and we lasted 4 years. Everynight I would go over to tuck her into bed, watch her sleep. Memories that you can never forget, fireworks under the eiffel tower etc. Until the very last day, she told me she loved me. On our "last day" we had a very romantic evening, where she confessed to me that she wanted to marry me. After we broke-up, within 3 weeks she moved on to a new guy. 6 Months later, she is still with him. It's not fair. She gets to replace me with a new guy, not for a minute regretting anything about what happened. It's as if the last 4 years mean nothing to her. On her myspace, pictures of her and the new man. This guy gets to wake-up next to her, watch her smile, watch her cry.... everything I had done for over 1200 days of my life. It's been a good 7 months now, but as everyday goes by, I dont feel like im getting better. Im absolutely shocked and traumatized about how this all fell apart, and I dont know how to pick up the pieces move forward with my life. I realize that I have done a lot of things wrong. I know that I pushed her away. What absolutely kills me is to know that the last 4 years dont mean anything to her. The memories are tainted with this guy in the picture. I am yesterday's news, but she still lives in my mind. She haunts my dreams... I wonder when my nightmare will ever end?

Well its been 6.5 months since the break-up... and she found somebody knew after 3 weeks (she met him 1 week after our break-up).. we were together for 4 years. Withdrawal from a relationships is perhaps the most difficult thing ive gone through. Sometimes I would visit her myspace only to see pictures of her smiling with the new guy in them. Well Her birthday and valentine's day came along (I used to spoil her big time on those dates for the last 4 years).. and I didnt say a peep to her. In fact, I havent had a word with her for a good 5.5 months now. On feb 16th, I received 3 hang-up telephone calls from her to my work phone.... and in late March, I hear from friends, that she is no longer with this guy. Backtrack to yesterday, still more hang-up telephone calls. I know she's not coming back... but still not a day goes by where I didnt wish I could kiss her. There's a not a day where I wish I could sit beside her and watch her. I guess im getting better.. but I still feel unhappy. I miss her I guess. Cheers, Mark

Same here. dude. 4 years and she;s with a new guy in 3 weeks.. pictures on myspace and stuff. My friend called me to tell me that they are not there anymore.. so I wonder. :splat:

How the heck do ppl move on so quickly. Sounds like our ex's have issues.

What happened during your relantionship. Why did u break up?

Having her in your life right now might not be the ideal solution. Sometimes people need to spend time apart, that might be a risk you can gamble on... at this point, what do you have to lose?

No I bought the frame.... she cant replace the picture even if she tried.

I would argue that I wish she would come back

Recap: 4 year relantionship..abstinence the whole deal.. brokeup mid-oct.. she moved on to somebody else in 3 weeks. She lives a block away from me (thats just a great situation!), and I most often have to drive by her house. EVerytime I drive, I see that picture frame that I bought her, with our pictures in them. The frame is bolted together, so its impossible to open. That frame still sits on the window ledge immediately next to her bed. If she looks outside during the day (or at night), there is a picture of us... she can't miss it. Ok im really not trying to read into things

If you still love her and arent over her... dont meet her. Seriously.. bad move

Women never work like that...especially ones with a facade of pride. They talk in subtle terms, give you hints here and there to show that they are interested, and or that they regret their actions. People rarely compromise their integrity by admitting that they wrong, FACTS ARE FACTS: a.) If she doesnt care about you - She wouldnt have checked your myspace b.) If she doesnt care about you - Then she wouldnt have called and or called back after your initial call c.) If she doesnt care or have feelings for you - She wouldnt have * * * * *ed you out. I agree with Cooolsome's assesment, you need to keep moving forward. She'll be back... im not sure if its to get back together, but she wont just let go of you like this

Dude, Its obvious that she still has feelings for you. When we are drunk, we usually express the truth. If she had no feelings for you, then she wouldnt have bothered to a.) check your myspace b.) to call you and * * * * * you out The thing is, she is still really confused. Go back into No Contact... she'll call again