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ticklebug

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Everything posted by ticklebug

  1. ticklebug
    no problem =)
  2. ticklebug
    for some people yes....actions speak louder than words in many cases ocean...her canceling talking to you is yet another action... and even if she does tell you it's over, you are going to ask why, and then for whatever explanation she gives you there will be more questions and more questions...you will never be satisfied with what you are being told because it isn't what you want to hear.
  3. ticklebug
    I'm sure it does...but one thing you have to keep in mind on this...her parents (father mostly I'd imagine) doesn't have anything specifically against YOU...this is not a personal dislike of you, but the fact he feels his daughter is too young to date...and because you are the one she wants to go out with, you are the one he's targeting...it's the age difference he has a problem with...you could be the nicest guy inthe world in his eyes...but you are still too old to date his "baby"... It's hard, but sometimes you have to look at things from a different perspective to figure out if it is something that is truly hurtful to you specifically. thing about age though...she won't be 16 forever...if she means that much to you, try to respect how her dad feels until she is old enough to be able to go out with you...the more it gets pushed right now...the less chance you have of a future with her...be resectful of her parents, and by winning them over, you win all the way around.
  4. ticklebug
    avman - I wouldn't call it jumping to conclusions, generalization of typical depression is more like it. there is a heck of a lot more to therapy than being told to love yourself. Friends and family are the ones that do that...therapists help figure out where all the internal negativity comes from and helps you to work on improving how you feel about yourself...without worrying about what other people think of you. They don't tell you to love yourself, they help you figure out HOW to do it. You aren't ugly, you are just overwhelmed...even little things you have to do seem like huge mountains to push... you can't control how other people treat you (gf's parents, employers, etc) but you can work on controlling how it affects you. Your parents don't hate you...but they don't understand what is going on with you, they would like to see you out and active, working, being happy...and I'm sure nothing they say to you motivates you in any way...and it gets frustrating for everyone. Let them know you feel like you need to get some help... part of the frustration with work is not knowing what exactly it is you want to do..have you ever considered signing up with a temporary agency? You get to work at a lot of different places, you would be helping people who really need it, and you aren't at a place for so long that you stop feeling appreciated...it's a small step in the right direction...
  5. ticklebug
    LOL...perplexed, you are so hung up on this girl I think if you saw her out with her cousin you'd still think there was more to it than family LOL if you are up to talking then call her...but don't over tax yourself...you are sick.
  6. ticklebug
    ocean... that's the point, she is afraid to know what real love is...she doesn't feel worthy of it... She cancelled because she really doesn't know what to say to you...and it wouldn't be anything you'd want to hear...nor does she want to hear you begging her to come back... right now, I'd really say you have gone past the point of no return and you need to work on detaching yourself emotionally from her. The two of you are at very different points in your life...and there is no gaurantee she will EVER get to where you are when it comes to being open to unconditional love. ocean..you really need to close the book on this and work on getting over her...all these questions you have...keep leading you back to the same place...
  7. ticklebug
    depression didn't cause you your troubles, your lack of motivation to better your life caused your troubles with caused your depression. You have been depressed so long that it is not something you can just "snap out of". You are using depression as an excuse not to get a job, money car or move forward in your life & it will continue to get worse if you do not get help from a therapist. If you don't want to go to a doctor, then the only thing you can do to help yourself is to summons up your willpower and at the very least, get a job. Being employed and doing well at it is a huge self esteem booster...it gives you a feeling of worth and value. It doesn't matter what type of job it is...just getting out there into the world will do you a lot of good.
  8. ticklebug
    ocean - there are people, both men & women, who are only able to take a relationship so far before it scares them. Yes you said you loved each other, yes you hugged and cuddled all night, yes you had wonderful times together...but there is something from her past that just will not let herself go farther than that...any chance it will, and she will do what she can to run away from it...and start the cycle over again. She desperately wants to be loved (as is obvious with the need to be assured by saying I love you a alot) but she is also desperately afraid of it. For whatever reason, she doesn't feel worthy of it and will pull away from someone before, she assumes, they will pull away from her.
  9. ticklebug
    a) she is getting a bit irritated you haven't acted on it yet... b) she is getting bored with that type of kidding around and is trying to get you to stop if you're that good of friends, you should just ask her why her reaction has changed =)
  10. ticklebug
    perplexed the guy she went to the movies with was probably just a friend. If it was more, you would have known it and you wouldn't be questioning her reason for being out with him. when talking to you she probably is getting quite comfortable around you & threfore topics like relationships and break ups and feelings are easier to share. she isn't going to care what your voice sounds like, or if you have to cut th conversation short because you are sick...its just th factyou called and were thinking about her that will matter. =)
  11. ticklebug
    ord of advice to ANYONE who's bf/hubby/so asks you to tell them about something in your past...have them tell you something first. If they won't, there is no reason for you to share anything and if they do, you can guage what they can tolerate hearing based on the story they tell...
  12. ticklebug
    Ask her to the dance...but I think the ring is going a bit overboard...save that for if you two end up in a relationship as more than friends...if she isn't interested in you...it could make things very awkward... bring her flowers when you pick her up...and during a slow dance tell her what's been on your mind...
  13. ticklebug
    QT link removed has quite a few books on raw food diets. Also I'm sure if you do a search on google for raw food recipies...I'm sure you will find quite a few!
  14. ticklebug
    I'm going to assume (hoping) at the age of 15 you aren't actually having sex...just feel that having an erection around her will make her feel wanted... confuzed, at your age, you are only just starting to become sexually mature, so your body isnt going to react to stimulating events the same all the time. Not to mention, not being able to have an erection around her clearly shows you aren't ready to have sex yet...and in time, when your body and mind mature more...that time will come. Don't rush it. Having an erection around a girl is not the only way to show you are attracted to them.
  15. ticklebug
    amethyst - at no time did I argue with you or become nasty in any way...there is no need for your hostility here, especially when this isn't even your thread. You asked me a question, I answered it. You have your past issues that are leaning you towards your advice, that is just fine. I have my experience that bases my choice in advice. Neither of us are "off base", wrong or what have you...nor am I on any "high horse"... I did not flaunt my doctorate...again, I was asked a question, and answered it. If there is anyone that is doing the judging here, it's you. kbelles - good luck to you, whatever you decide...take a look at the books I sent you a PM on - they will help you with your decision on what to do. This thread never should have turned into a debate...((hugs))
  16. ticklebug
    She isn't working with you on it first and foremost!?!?!?!?!?!?! oh honey, get a new therapist... in order to help you get over your addiction to this other guy, you need to re-find the good in your husband...and your marriage...by working on rebuilding your relationship with your husband...your feelings for this other guy will fade...they already did before otherwise you would already be divorced... If you were going to plan a romantic evening with the "other guy" what would you do? plan something start to finish...then, do it with your husband...
  17. ticklebug
    emotional - he's an EX...and until the two of you establish that you are actually dating again....and it wasn't just a one shot thing...there is no reason for you to buy him anything, especially when you are unemployed...regardless if the two of you made out... Don't use a christmas gift as a means to try to win the guy back if that is what you were hoping for. If it is going to happen, it doesn't take "bribery". =)
  18. ticklebug
    bottom line is it is HER choice and HER decision to make...you don't get the whole story on an internet board. Amethyst - I'm sad to think that you can just easily toss aside someone as garbage because they are going through a horrible life experience...when abuse/incest becomes a bain to someone's life and they need to come to terms with it...they shouldn't have to go through it alone. You have no understanding whatsoever of what childhood abuse can do to a person, the places it can take someone's mind without them knowing. Criminal "RAPISTS" (as you so boldly put it) are very aware of what they are doing and do it to get a thrill from it...this was no thrill for either of them...
  19. ticklebug
    As a medical professional with a doctorate in clinical psych. who has dealt with child abuse/incest victims and the effects on their adult lives for (ahem) amount of years. savanah - I'm not going to play a "one up" game with you. You have your opinion, I have mine and we both have the right to express them. There are many many books written by professionals on the subject of incest/abuse victims as adults and dealing with this exact same problem. It IS recoverable from. Amethyst has every right to give this man a chance to recover from his abuse and live a healthy happy life with her if she so chooses. Boundaries will have to be set during his time of recovery, and if he blatantly chooses not to follow his course of treatment healing, then by all means she should make the tough choice of moving on.
  20. ticklebug
    there are enough strings on ths forum about the whole "still being friends" thing to come to an understanding that it might be what they want at first, but have changed their mind for any number of reasons and it is just something you have to deal with. If I remember correctly, you had alrady tried the approach of getting in contact with him about your things and he ignored you then too. Silver, they are just clothes...you have other options of getting them but you seem to insist on just dealing with him on it...you are turning it into a lot more than some fabric that you have lived without for this long without any ill consequenses to your wardrobe...fact of the matter is, they are replaceable...and items you won't be wearing the rest of your life anyway...if you get them back, great, if not...it isn't anything to get your blood pressure up over... if you want or need them back that badly...then have one of your mutual friends get them for you, or go to his grandparent's directly. You can't make him do anything for you anymore...
  21. ticklebug
    well, you have two choices... run head first really really fast into a brick wall and pray for amnesia... or get yourself into counseling...immediately. Anti-depressant medication is not a "magic pill" that will all of a sudden help you figure out what direction to go...that isn't how they work. You need counseling on top of the medication...so go to your doctor and ask for a referral to a psychologist.
  22. ticklebug
    Max - this is what happens when you build up a relationship with someone in your head. 10 months ago is when you should have said something to her about how you feel. Going to her school just to be close to her and not discussing your feelings beforehand, is less love/crush and more of an obsession. I know you hurt, but this is something you wholly brought on yourself. Instead of having to deal with a light crush ending, you now have to face "breaking up" from a one sided relationship....and all you are going to get from it is a HUGE learning experience. Being friends with her isn't an option, and you know that. You have taken it too long and too far to be able to separate your feelings for her. You are pretty much going to have to do what anyone does if they break up...no contact, get on with your life, get active in other interests...maybe even consider transferring to the school you should have gone to and immersing yourself in your future. I'm sorry you are hurting, and I wish ther was an easier way to make the pain go away...but there really isn't....
  23. ticklebug
    jetta you love your husband, you are lusting and fantasizing about this other guy...big difference. In marriage, things settle down, there isn't the spark, the romance the excitement of newness...it's up to the couple to occasionally bring that spark back and it sounds as if you two haven't for a while, if at all. It's normal to occasionally get your hormones in a tussle over someone else, you are human...but what you have to come to terms with is that it is just a temporary crush...and it will pass. Time to dive in and spice up your sex life with your husband...
  24. ticklebug
    what, I'm a mom, and sometimes, my kids need to give me a wake up call on things I don't notice. We'd like to thik we are the all knowing all powerful all seeing creatures just because we hve kids, and although sometimes we seem like we have eyes in the back of our heads and know what you are up to just by looking at you...we really don't. We are just good guessers cuz we were kids once. She may very well blame herself at first...but that is what the counseling you are going to get (and the therapist will talk to her too) will help you deal with... we, as parents, blame ourselves because we love you kids, so incredibly much. It will hurt her more and upset her more if you let this go on, and then you end up hurting yourself to a point you can't recover. You will make her day as a parent if you go to her and ask for help...she will know you feel like you can come to her - and that is a big time parent good feeling.
  25. ticklebug
    you will think you are in love, be in love and not realize it, be in love and lose it... many times in your life.
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