ticklebug

rvr - you are pushing too much. You need to let "inner feelings" just come out when the person chooses to tell them...don't try to get them to say things...let nature take it's course. To get to conversations like that a person has to get comfortable with you...and that starts with the more trivial subjects (work family etc)... You might be comfortable talking about those types of things from the get go....but that doen't mean a girl is...if you don't let them take things in their own time...you will push them away.

fairy oh I can relate to how you feel. I lost my mother to cancer when I was a child...much younger than you but it still hurt just the same. Remember sweetie, she may have left the world, but she is ALWAYS there watching you, and anytime you miss her, just talk to her...she hears you. It sounds as if you ar still trying to be "strong" about it..don't be. Let your tears come. If you feel overwhelmed let it come out. It truly helps. Does your school have a counselor you can talk to? I really suggest you sit down with him or her...or even a teacher that you really like. Let somone outside of your family know that this is still very hard for you, and you don't know where to turn.

awwwwwwwwwwwwwww for a first kiss that sounds perfect!!! congrats Raptor!

Jimbo Have you, even once, stopped and asked him if he was okay? If there was anything he needed? Some reason he seems to be so tired? If there was something going on at home he needed a friend to talk to about it? And I mean asking him NICELY...not treating him like he's a jerk because he isn't doing what you want him to do. I went back and found your post about him being a "mommas boy"...if you give him as much grief as it seems you do about the way his homelife is...he may just not want to hang out with you anymore. You aren't being a very good friend by berating him for things you know he can't change. When he does get out of his house...the last thing he wants is to have to be reminded of what it's like there... would you really want to hang out with someone if you knew you'd be the brunt of jokes or mean comments?

because he has a girlfriend to answer to....

doubt it is a double standard amanda, it's more what he thought would be comfortable, isn't...like I said, it's a learning experience.... Is he friends with any of his other ex's? If not...there could be a very good reason for that...it is something he tries to do, but can't.

why go through the agony of NC for a month only to possibly get trampled on once again? In the "hopes" they start to realize what a great person you are? Please! The true colorrs of these people you are dating have come out. Doesn't matter how long or short of a time period it was - it happened. They aren't compatible with you. Learn from your mistake, learn to still be giving without giving too much of yourself and find someone to share your newfound self assurance with.

amanda you are the one pushing and pulling yourself over this. What you consider a friendship is different than what he does...it's going to take some time for the two of you to figure out your "places"...or if this friendship will even work (remember, they rarely do) this is new territory for both of you....just like when you first started dating and you had to get to know each other's likes and dislikes as gf & bf...you are right back at square one...the "rules" that applied when you were dating...don't apply in your friendship.

14, drunk, multiple sexual partners... I can't get past asking where in god's green earth are your parents?????

amanda... you talked about gifts when you were together...fine...but you aren't together anymore... he for whatever reason feels that a gift now is inappropriate...he's allowed to feel that way and you just have to accept that. just because it isn't how you would do things doesn't make him wrong.

him saying things are all good with his baby's mother could be his way of blowing off talking about it...really watch what his moods are after he is over there...if they tend to be grouchy...he's holding something back on it...but it is more because you shouldn't be involved in it anyway. But at least be aware there may be tension and plan accordingly. Frankly, both of you are being selfish. He wants things one way, you want them another and neither of you talk about it..until you are at the fight stage. If you don't like when he runs late (which sounds like a typical thing for him based on your anoyance of it) then do one of two things...just always add 30 minutes onto the time he says he will be there (I have an ex husband who is going to be late to his own funeral...it is the ONLY way I was able to deal with his chronic lack of timing)...or request that if in the 15 to 20 minute (or what have you time period) he SAYS he will be there....request that he call and let you know if it is going to be extended. The thing with the 2nd option though, is that IF he calls....you have no right to be angry at him...he's following a guideline. It will be the new year the next time you see him...do yourself a favor...spend this time really considering alternate ways of handling how you talk to him and deal with situations. Check out the book "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" to get a better understanding on how to communicate your feelings with him with out coming off as a nag. Feel free to send him a cute text message...he said things are fine...treat it that way...do not, under any circumstances get into any heavy discussions about the two of you while on the phone with him while he's gone. Don't ask him for more reassurances...you really don't need it. You want him to miss you....he isn't going to if you get all heavy on him from 2000 miles away. Be the loving sweet "looking forward to when I see you next cuz I'm really gonna show you how much I missed you" girl. Make the new year a true "start over"...

That is how YOU think...but you aren't HIM. He was ok with being friends a week ago, and that hasn't changed, nothing was said about exchanging gifts. For al you know he doesn't give gifts to people he just considers friends....quite possibly gifts around the holiday season have a meaning to him other than just something someone gets or gives.

yes ocean...I really do think you are =) but every ocean has sharks in it....hopefully yours will come out and bite one of these days.

ocean... so what if you come off as a jerk for cripes sake...think she somewhat deserves it at this point. Then again I'm all for you telling her to take a long walk off a short pier into the amazon river where piranna are feeding...

giggle... few things you said I want to quote here and make a comment on. #1) stop planning your time all in your head down to the last minute and detail...you are seting yourself up for disaster. You need to be flexible if you are going to be with someone who has several obligations pulling at him at the same time....especially a child. #2) when unavoidable delays happen, there is no reason to take your frustration out on him...even a little bit. It wasn't like he was blowing you off for the heck of it. #3) You know that saying...don't assume anything because all it does is make an a** out of you and me? If you didn't tell him what you had planned for the day, just expected something that didn't happen...who's fault is that actually? Yours. If you dont communicate your thoughts/plans in the very beginning - you can't expect or assume anything is going to go the way you want it to. After he got home from his child's mother's home is when your night went downhill according to you... The relationship he has with the mother of his child...is it good, or do they not get along? Do you even talk about it? Do you even really know? I have strong suspicion there is probably a lot of tension there...and you are being oblivious to it. More than likely he ran late due to an argument with her, possibly over holiday plans...this is a very hard time for separated people with kids. He can't shut off that frustration like a light switch if there was a confrontation, just as much as you can't shut off your angry feelings. I just wonder, if at any point in your evening, when you noticed he wasn't exactly in the best mood....if you ever asked him WHY he was feeling badly...instead of just pouting about it? WHY he wasn't in the mood to be more amourous. Maybe he had quite a bit on his mind... Giggles, you tell him he shouldn't sweat the small stuff....but isn't that what YOU are doing? Getting mad at him for an evening you had all planned in your head but didn't communicate? Getting angry that he isn't spot on time to be with you when you expect him to be? etc... You may try to make light of it, but he doesn't have to...you expect him to be understanding of you and your feelings but you aren't exactly being very understanding of his. How you are acting towards him when he does disappoint you...isn't a "light" thing to him. You don't have a right to tell him how to feel. Once again, getting angry at him based on your own expectations of how things should go. You aren't a character in the movies, giggles...he didn't have anything to apologize for really...you built up your own expectations... Here is how you are coming accross to him...(how most men interpret your actions) I can get upset about what ever I want to when I want to and you have to deal with it because it's "small stuff"...but you are not allowed to be annoyed with me, it's offensive. You need to do what I want you to do, when I want you to do it....even if I don't actually tell you about it first. You need to put anything that happens during your day aside the minute you are with me because I'm more important than anything else going on with you. And you are wondering why things are going south so fast? [/i]

Pure In that you have matured....I hope you realize that you ended up in that group home because you had some serious issues to deal with in regard to your future, and I hope you are now on the road to making better choices in your life. With that said, remember, she ended up there due to problems she was having too...it is not uncommon to connect to someone who is dealing with some of the same issues you are...it's not unlike going to camp for the summer and meeting someone there... I just want to caution you about getting your hopes up. She very well may have meant what she said about not really caring that much about you...or even if she did....it was during a very hard time in her life and she needed someone to lean on, just as you did...you were just kids then. I'm sure she was your first love, and that is something that never gets forgotten...but if you decide to go about trying to find her and contact her....do it without any expectations whatsoever...you had your heart hurt once...no need to put it through it a second time.

amanda you have got to think about something for a second here. You are not his girlfriend anymore, but yet you are expecting him to make you, and your feelings, a priority as if you still were. Now that you are an ex, you come second fiddle to his new girlfriend, his family, any pets he has....anything he has responsibilities to.. come before you. I feel for you if you are feeling lonely for the holidays...but he has other people to spend his time with that are more important to him than you. I'm quite sure you don't have these same expectations of other friends you have in your life & if they ask you to do or not do something, you'd respect it without question. You are being far too overbearing. respect what he consideres friendship boundaries. He doesn't want your gift because it makes him feel obligated to you...plain and simple. So either return it to the store or gift it to somone else.

inside a woman's vaginal area, it is always moist...when sexually aroused these "juices" increase in order to accommodate sexual intercourse (natural lubrication) if and when she does climax the hormones that produce the lubrication increase...and even more is produced...like when men ejaculate upon climax.

sister - I had the opposite problem, NOTHING on top...but the healing time is about the same....6 weeks to FULL recovery...two to three where you can be relatively active again. Your breasts won't grow back after a reduction, they only grow due to the hormones of puberty, then that hormone is shut off... With a reduction, you are retaining all naural tissue, so yes, if they arent properly supported, they can, with age, sag...but that is where the properly fitting bra comes in. Surgery or not....you may want to go to a higher end retail store or a store that is specifically for women's undergarments and get a proper fitting done. It sounds as if, esp with your sports bra it doesnt hold you correctly...(do you even wear a specifically designed sports bra when running?) There are also swimsuits designed for fuller chested women...and again, you may need to pay more for one, but purchasing a properly fitting suit at a store specifically tailored to helping a woman find the correct one...will do you wonders.

why not ask her if she wants to have lunch one of these days...that way you will be out of the work environment and you might be able to tell a bit better what her intentions are.

jetta when you have children, your life stops being all about you...and it should be about THEM. You apparently put yourself in a position to marry your "rebound" guy from your first marriage...so now not only has your 9 year old already been witness to one divorce, and who knows what type of visitation with his bio-dad, but now you are looking at potentially putting him through yet another divorce and dealing with the loss of someone he has bonded with as a step-father (or possibly father figure) AND you have another child who will suffer for it to chase after something that may or may not happen... If I were you....I'd really work hard at making THIS marriage you are in work...just because you feel desires for another man...two months of knowing him doesn't tell you a thing about what your future could be...and you just may find yourself alone, for a very long time if this guy of two months ends up just being more of a fling. Bear in mind, when things got bad in your first marriage you went immediately into the arms or your now husband...now that things are going stale in this marriage....you are following the same pattern...looking to someone else...it's yet another rebound and you are placing more emphasis on your feelings for this new guy to avoid what you really need to work on...

LOL dan glad to hear you got positive results...but yes, watch yourself. Highly doubt I'm your exgf....think my husband of eons would have somethig to say to me if I were dating. LOL

both sexes do it to each other really...

is it a new ring, or did he possibly take something of his moms? that or the box just came from something of his mothers... actually the 10K is probably referring to the gold in the band, not the stone(s) and the stones themselves may not be real ...if it is the stones...you should probably ask where he got it from...if it is his moms, she may not know he gave it to you....

it is best to deal with right here and now...if you only like him as a friend than that is the message you ned to send to him. If later your feelings change, then you can let him know otherwise...but that is something you can't know for sure...so it is better to just be honest about it now...and not give him false hopes...