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Smusher

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Everything posted by Smusher

  1. Smusher
    It comes from setting yourself up with things to look forward to. Confidence comes from within yes, but in knowing that there are things for you to affect in the future is the reason to keep living. Affect change Fanta!
  2. Smusher
    This is all brilliant stuff, i must say. One of the more interesting dare i say inteligent and GROWN UP posts! That said, relationships among people are dominated by certain properties just as objects are ruled by the laws of physics. thats why insanity is expressed by doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. The exception to these rules and equations is true love, where the unexpected happens even though we have all seen it turn out the same way hundreds of times nay millions of times, this time it turned out different. This is why Socrates never wrote anything down. "because one can never be 100% certain of anything" even if you have seen it happen a million times.
  3. Smusher
    This is all brilliant stuff, i must say. One of the more interesting dare i say inteligent and GROWN UP posts! That said, relationships among people are dominated by certain properties just as objects are ruled by the laws of physics. thats why insanity is expressed by doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. The exception to these rules and equations is true love, where the unexpected happens even though we have all seen it turn out the same way hundreds of times nay millions of times, this time it turned out different. This is why Socrates never wrote anything down. "because one can never be 100% certain of anything" even if you have seen it happen a million times.
  4. Smusher
    think about it. you go accross a bridge and then burn it. how are you going to get back to where you started if you got rid of the bridge? it means dont say or do things you will regret in regards to your relationships. dont burn your bridges, cuz you never know if you will need to cross it again.
  5. Smusher
    Love is dangerous Love is an action "they say true love its................ suicide Love is on and off love is close to hate like yin and yang people kill for it, die for it people live with it, for it and because of it.
  6. Smusher
    The Prophet-Kahlil Gibran tiz a manual for the living of life. Obsessive Love susan forward good case's and well written, with some good self help stuff. helped me for a while. But especially The Prophet had it since I was 18.
  7. Smusher
    Have you aked yourself "what would you do/feel, and for how long, if you find out that he has/she has found someone else? and do you have someone asking "about you" romantically that is....? any of you?
  8. Smusher
    what about if they live far away and dont get the chance to see you happy? and get no sense of it with NC.
  9. Smusher
    me too, mee too. I hate you too!! hahaI wish my girl really loved me like yers seems to. I wish you guys would read my posts about my break up etc.. man i feel like i know it is over but its so hard sometimes. she made things so clear that she felt nothing but only once she had another guy. I read what you and others have said about re-bounds. I just feel like I was the rebound i guess and that hurts. I was the one that resisted her! I was the one that couldnt seem to re assure her enuff. I was the one that broke up with her. plz you good people read my posts.
  10. Smusher
    I think it is absolutley simple and beautiful.
  11. Smusher
    read all the other stories here, or just read a few, soon you will see that each story is unique, but that there are some patterns to behavior. 7 years? long time.... keep cool, act aloof. but then it depends on so much. it doesnt necesarrily mean that he has another tho. it might.. who knows. but make yourself better by starting NOW! cuz its an uphill battle , the deeper you get into analysing it the steeper your climb back to the top becomes. Imagine your life as a graph of happiness, contentedness etc.. start at a baseline then trace last ten years to where you are now, then set a mark for how low down you are willing to go and when you get there you know its about time for some upward momentum. As for the friends thing. I would want that, if only to keep a communication possible. NC is probably the best though cuz you never know if there is someone else or not. once there is, NC IS allot easier. How come a girl like you doesnt go out and get a date? somedates? thats what mine did and right away they are serious, all her love went out the window, i had broken up with her. but I sure didnt think she wanted anyone but me.
  12. Smusher
    its all about control. FROM THE START!. Once you have mastered your machine, or you dont get to run it hardly at all. you get bored, or for the latter, you feel out of control. relationships are a power struggle. keep it balanced, let someone else run the machine a bit, i.e. your partner. Or else give up your mastered machine to someone who wants to learn and wants to share in its operation. Love is our product in this factory methinks. The machine is "the power" .
  13. Smusher
    well thats complex, search/read my posts under my name
  14. Smusher
    Have any women ever left for another guy, to fill the void even if things got serious fast with the new one only to realize that you may have made a mistake and really want to run back to the old ex? even if you were very mean to your ex when you left him but he gave you the space to go with the new one? just me lookin for some hope, i didnt open up enuff to a girl whom was head over heals for me, i broke up with her even tho i truly wanted us. she didnt believe it and instead of pining for me for months she just went and got a new guy. I suspect they will break up but thats another story.. thx
  15. Smusher
    you have deluded yourself, and overextended yourself. I would cut her off imediatley, take her to court and show no mercy. she has taken you for a ride. what would you want a person who is so needy for? save yourself if you still can, but by the sounds of it you have really made things hard on yourself. Believe me I have extensive experience in this field and man you are in trouble
  16. Smusher
    pam anderson, heather locklear? ring any bells?
  17. Smusher
    TRUE DAT!!
  18. Smusher
    If its that bad, the pain, then go to the doctor, your doctor, tell him whats happening and ask him for a band aid to help your mental state. theres nothin wrong with that and no it doesnt mean youll be on it for life or anything. but first I would just try talk therapy with a psyc, friends , family. keep busy and all that stuff. dont blame yourself too much. but cry all you want let it all out, go find somewhere to scream yer heart out etc. dont do anything stupid tho. dont break in front of her ANYMORE. show yerself that you know that this is life and S!%@ happens. write down everything that was bad about her and the two of you. Im sorry for your loss, but there is hope. There is always hope.
  19. Smusher
    The pain of unrequited love is like money, it gets passed on from person to person. thats how i feel. its like when we talk so much about rebounds and ex's coming back or going etc.. we take the pain and always transfer it to another person we meet and then they will likely transfer it to someone else and on and on and on. its like energy , you can never use up energy only convert it into a different substance/energy. everything is energy and energy is everything. e=mc2 what do you think?
  20. Smusher
    I had a similar situation. please read my stuff about it. the diff was that there were three kids and I said "one, three, the more the merrier, it could have been a wonderful story, but, she became obsessed and it scared me how much she would pressure me . i wanted to go slow , i wanted her to bond with her kids without me there too much. I had altrusitic intentions but she looked at it as rejections. I really still want to talk about it with someone. it kills me everyday that she misunderstood so much and jumped to conclusions cuz now she is with another guy. please read my stories under smusher.. thx i dont know what to tell you because we both wanted eachother , it was long distance tho. same age diff im 30 shes 35. now she is being taken advantage by a guy who is encouraging her compulsiveness and her needyness. I broke up with her to do some soulsearching. I thought she would never give up and thats what she always said. she did give up and turned on me, terlling me whatr I was doing and how i felt etc. its killing me. I miss her and the kids. I am afraid for her. I wanted her to see her worth on her own before deciding anything about us commitment wise. but ya it is really complicated. my love for her was simple tho, and 5thats what i told her from the start. now two months NC. shes with him so.... gad errrrggghhhh!!! link removed
  21. Smusher
    you have to carry on just like she did when she was meeting you and perhaps you might leave the next girl for the same reason that your ex has now left you. see what I mean? man its all tuff, this growing up we have to do. I know!!! and I knew when i was a kid that being an adult isnt all its cracked up to be!! its like how am i going to survive to be one of thos old grey haired happy people out there? they have loved and lost EVERYTHING! and they , many of them, still manage a smile everyday.
  22. Smusher
    I thought you would have put a ring on my finger!!!" Yah, that was one of the last things she said to me in front of HIM!!! she put one on mine, she was obsessive, angry over her life and her bad marriage of ten years and three young kids and she put it all on me. always needed re assurance of us, i was honest, true and kind and gentle, although I broke up with her when i saw her anger a few times we got back together quick and then a few months later after another fit of her anger I broke again and didnt call for two weeks while she was falling apart. It was a long dist. relationship but full of passion , understanding and knowledge of each other. I come back again but i dont put hers and my fears to rest we just chilled and had a nice weekend. a few weeks later a guy answers the phone. I say i understand. then I call, then i go there and he is at her house and has met the kids. this girl was absolutely in love with me?? she says go home, I do. I call the next day after reading her email of how much i hurt her and that i didnt know what love was etc.. and all these examples. I had told her that I was coming i.e. to live with her for good which she wanted me there or her here. she said she didnt believe that etc... shes 35, Im 29. the kids (who loved me) are 6, 7, 9. and she wanted another of ours and to grow old together and all that. she cried and cried over me all the time and I tried to assure her all the time!! I love her. I was coming. but now HE responded to my email where i said that I would not hesitate to put a ring on her if she gave me the chance to. that i wasnt afraid anymore etc.. he writes back and says that HE has proposed haha and that they are happy and gettin married, this all with in a month. i didnt even get the chance to harass her as the email also said dont call or email or show up or well get the cops involved. its been almost two months NC now. I fall to pieces sometimes still. what to do? woe is me. did he write it? did she? does it matter? gad gad gad gad!!!!errrrrrrrrrrgghhh[/i]
  23. Smusher
    i SAW THAT BOOK IN CHAPTERS before oprah had the authors on her show. Keep in mind that they, the authors, are trying to sell a book. In most relationships there are extenuating circumstances that will disprove the anecdotes in that book. But if it makes women realize their worth and not take second best then I guess its a good thing. Dont always assume that a man doesnt want you just from a few symptoms that he may display that correspond tho, you might be making a really big mistake.
  24. Smusher
    About the question say if both partys do NC then you will never talk again. I wonder this too and I think its simple physics. Right you wont ever talk again. It is the prisoners dillema if two accused and they both keep quiet about the crime they both comitted then neither one will have evidence against them and neither one will go to jail. But the other doesnt really know if you will squeel and you dont know if he will either so when you are offered a lesser sentence by your accusers in return for turning evidence your accomplice will go to jail and you will get the deal.
  25. Smusher
    About the question say if both partys do NC then you will never talk again. I wonder this too and I think its simple physics. Right you wont ever talk again. It is the prisoners dillema if two accused and they both keep quiet about the crime they both comitted then neither one will have evidence against them and neither one will go to jail. But the other doesnt really know if you will squeel and you dont know if he will either so when you are offered a lesser sentence by your accusers in return for turning evidence your accomplice will go to jail and you will get the deal.
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