guitarman

Ok ... it's a cool site .... I've learnt something ...

Yeah Sugar ... stay with your hubby ... he is the one whom you build your world with ... and the one who should stay for better or for worse. But I have a question .... when you are talking about spending time with each other ..... there is a really thin line between seeing each other in a "Posessive" manner like " I can't live without you" and being too busy with each other most of the time. So how would you define a healthy trend of communication?

Many people say ... that when two people had been through a lot together .... the relationship will be strong and very close .... True and not true. It's true that you will feel closer to a person who you went through something together with ... because you can really see it literally that this person is one who is really there for you. However, people who can perform really well during tough times does not mean they can perform equally well when times are good. Hence a "Hero" who always protects us from trouble does not mean he is a good "Lover" at happy times. If you need a "Hero" all the time, then would you want to be in trouble all the time as well? The best relationship always births from two positive, confident, independent and trustworthy figure coming together. Its never two Halfs coming to be one whole .... it's always two whole persons coming together. My point is .... you need to learn to do things which are positive, which add a little spice to life. You must remember ... when we get old ... we are not going to remember our life on how many hours we work a day or how many bottles of milk we feed our babies. We will remember the happy moments ... times spent together with loved ones and the glorious moments of achievements. Similarly, you need to create memorable moments together with your family .... positive and happy ones. Maybe work towards a goal. Aim to save up to travel around the world .... learn SCUBA Diving ..... learn SALSA ... go for jazz concerts and musicals .... do the things you always wanted to do when you are young .... as an adult ... NOW IS the time to work towards them. You got to learn how to rely on the "Lover" in him rather than the "Hero"who took you away from trouble. Because when situations turns good ... the "Hero" tends to fade away ... the "Lover" always brightens up the day whether times are good or bad. You have to focus and stop thinking about cheating .... if you are having an irresistible temptation to cheat ... then I tell you what .... let the lover be your husband ....

Well Tiffany, there is always a tendency for people to want to try things they have never experienced before. Some people grow out of things and get on with new ones, some people strive to discover the deepest meaning in whatever they have around them. It's always good to be exposed, to be open to opinions before you formulate your own. And it's also good to get exposure with different friends from the opposite sex. (and NOT to have SEX!!) I don't encourage you to leave your current boyfriend for this new dude you have just met in school. YOu should not enter into relationship with someone just based on physical attraction and curiosity. Whenever you enter into a relationship, you always try to make it work. And you don't do that with someone whom you barely know. Another thing about a relationship is that you always aim to satisfy each other's needs .... NEVER to gratify your own needs. If you are someone ho only takes and don't give, you will find your other half soon getting tired and out of energy. HE will leave you eventually. This goes the same if you are the giver and he is taker. IT will tire you out if your partner does not satisfy you. Back to the topic, i won't tell you to satisfy your curiosity and get on with this new guy you just had a crush on. Because this would be totally unfair to your boyfriend and if you do the math ..... you might end up losing both. (New guy dumps you, old guy rejects a patch back) You should leave you boyfriend only if you realise that he is not the guy for you and you feel that you can't see him in the picture of your future. In life's journey, you will always meet someone more charming, someone cuter, funnier, nicer .... will you leave one guy after another just because you found someone else more superior? Well, i guess when you say you love someone for who he is ... you meant who that person is ... and if he is the only person .... who can be better than being who he is other than himself? Get it?

Hey ... thanks for your advices ... at least what you guys had said had shed some light. I did spoke to her regarding the tone of her voice she used on me the other night. She told me that's how she behaves when she gets stressed. She promised not to "disappear" during exam season. Anyway, i guess you really made sense .... I shouldn't be the one giving it all the way. There must always be a balance of give and take in a relationship. I know I have the ability to choose how much priority I give to her ..... but just that at that point I need a reason make such a decision. I guess it's only right for me to lower that priority until we take this relationship to the next level. And if she is unable to do so .... I'll have to re-evaluated if she is really the one for me ....

Hey guys .... I'm feeling kind of vexed and confused now ... this will be kind of long ... so bear with it for a while yeah? I got romantically involved with this lady whom I got to know onboard ship 2 months ago. I've been working onboard the ship for the past four years and I've recently got to know a female colleague who happened to be working at another department onboard. We've seen each other around for the past years actually but never really got to know each other. There was this one evening when I had an early assignment on the next day that I decided to stay onboard to save on transport early next morning. I was playing my guitar on the upper deck when she suddenly appeared and was sitting next to me ... listening to me Singing with my guitar. Well that was a really good start for a friendship to be built. Subsequently, we called each other up, met up pretty often ... we just have so much to talk about and laugh about. We laughed at the sillest things and had lots of fun together. We grew closer and closer ... and gradually ... we were fond of each other. We've been together for the past 2 months and things went on pretty well for the start. But it was until recently that things starts to turn out NOT exactly the way I foreseen. She has a past issue. She was dumped by her ex in the previous relationship and she was devastated. She told me that she couldn't trust anyone as completely as she did anymore. But I told her that i didn't mind as long as we are together .... I believe that time can heal all wounds and I was sure that trust can be developed from experience. But i realised that in many occasions .... she demands Love from me and yet refuse to give Love to me. She dropped hints here and there, implying that she wanted good night kisses, Love letters, "I love you" and "I miss you", etc .... but when it comes to me ... she would be very often be evasive .... avoids the question by asking me to "trust my feelings" and "what i think is right". She had been going through a rather hard time this week. Her grandma passed away and she was having exams for the part time degree course. I tried to show her care and concern by sending her messages and calling her. But evertime I send her a message, I either get no reply, or a "one word" answer. I sent her a message last night ..... i received no reply again .... and called her. All these effort to show care and concern resulted in a hasty tone in her voice to get me off the phone. I mean .... is that how you talk to a boyfriend? Even if you are busy or stressed ... don't you find comfort to hear the voice of someone you love? Or can't you tell me you are busy in a more polite or gentle manner? That was not the first time it happened. Is that the way people talk to a person they are romantically involved in? Like as if i was a fly trying to intrude their privacy? It seems that this relationship in fueled by one single driving force .... that's me. It used to be so different .... she would call me 5 to 6 times a day just to find out what i was doing. She would send me "good mornings" every day without fail .... and I would do the same for her. It's like we would both do things to give each other attention .. show love. But right now ... I'm the one who is left doing all these things. I don;'t know what's happening ... 2 months of being together and I haven't even heard a single "I love you" from her. She still introduces me as a "colleague" to her family and friends. It's like: Glenn: "I love you dear" Priscilla: ". . . . . . . ." What's happening man? Is she losing interest in me? Or does she still love me and she wants me to be the "man" to do things for her? Is it normal for ladies to behave that way? Any Ladies out there can answer my question?? Going Mad Glenn Guitarman Fong

Just a few cents worth of Wisdom from me. 1) You can't please everybody 2) Anyone who doesn't accept is not a friend. 3) People who lists expectations are suckers. 4) Introspection is the greatest killer of emotions, so think outward. 5) When you feel self conscious, try to think in another person's shoes, try to read magazines and stuff, try running or playing a sport, try joking with your friends, just do something outward. Because being inward thinking will prevent you from talking to friends, that's why you feel out of place. 6) You don't always engage in exciting conversations. There is always a topic you are unfamiliar with. Always some spaces of silent somewhere. Sometimes you just need to listen .... sometimes you just need to enjoy the language of silence. These are part and parcel of friendship .... doesn't have to be always exuberant. 7) You have to go though life anyway, why not just enjoy the ride? 8) If you have a problem, its either you solve it or you let go. 9) Sometimes it takes the strongest person on earth to "Let Go". 10) Greater is he that is in you, then he that is in the world. Just me Guitarman

Hey man ... I read that book too ... you get really great insights on how to bridge friendships to other people. Well, most of the problems that we face emotionally can actually be resolved internally. Well, if you can't change the environment, why not change yourself. I guess influencing people really means giving them what they want before asking them for what you want. In a way, i guess you shouldn't try so hard to make friends with females. You should do what you are comfortable with ... be yourself. If you try so hard to put on a false front, or even do something you don't usually do to win a person over, you end up getting tired of constantly trying to be or do something you are not. And friendships can still falter by the realization of the truth. Hence, maybe you can try to tell yourself NOT to EXPECT anything from them (the females). Just be yourself .... talk to them not because you want to win them over ... but because you genuinely care. Convince yourself that you care ... you love ... and you are interested to know them ... whether or not you get anything back. And remember, you can't please everybody. There is bound to be someone who gives relunctant and negative responses. But don't give up just because of turn offs like that. Just be naturally loving and interested, and you WILL reap the returns some day. If you can'tget anything out from this reply ... just remember this one point ... "people need the feeling of importance". As long as they feel important, that they hold some position in your heart .... you've won them over. Just me Guitarman.

Well for me .... I'm never really close to my Family .... from the surface, It would seemed that my family background is one that is just like other families. But in fact, I feel very lonely most of the time, and it didn't seemed that my parents cared about that at all. My dad only cares about his own excues and lame reasonings for bad decisions .... my mum only suffers in silence. There is no one here that I can look up to ... no one I can trust to be my role model. That's why I usually find solace in my friends rather than family. I can tell ya that my family have NO CLUE at all who I am and what makes me the way I am .... I've lived 26 years of my life in this house without them knowing the real me and sometimes I really feel lost ... like I don't belong anywhere. And I am facing a genuine situation in which most of you guys are in too; incapability to relate to the norm. In many situations, ie my work place, I couldn't relate to the humour and values that people generally inculcate. It's difficult for me to relate to people generally because from my family background, we're used to closing up ourselves ... used to being inward looking and I'm taught to be cautious about making friends. But I lived to a point that I got tired of all these isolation and alternate frequency contary to society. I didn't want to share my personal life to others because I was very conscious about how others might think about me ... that I might be weird ... that I might be deranged or warpped. I began to open myself .... because I believe that there is a way to live a life that acts as an opposing force against everything that was taught wrong to me. I believe whatever wrong paradigm that I picked up when I was young can be changed ... and it's not neccesary that I have to pass them on. I realised that most of the time when you open yourself to people ... people will open themselves to you. And if anybody can't accept you for who you are .... screw them ... and go find someone else to talk to. I believe friends are important and intrunsic for a healthy lifestyle. And I guess for people like us .... we've got to try a little harder than others .... I know I haven't exactly gone thru anything worse than you .... but i know that whatever wrongs or bad experiences we have in the past ... we don't have to yield to them ... if you dare to say NO to your past!

Hey people ... thanks for your advice .... well latest update .... These few days, we grew closer, we studied together at her place during the day because it was our day off ... we spent 2 whole days together studying and watching TV. We got really close ... close enough for her to question the direction that we were heading. She asked me if I realised that we got too close in too short a time (Less than a month). And I said yes. I asked her if this was a good thing or bad thing. She said she was just commenting. I asked her about a possibility that if we maintain this friendship, we will actually end up together. She said she didn't know ... she didnt have intentions of getting a boyfriend ... but if it really comes neither of us could stop it. I guess this is a good sign right? : ) Just me

I don't really know how to put this into words ... but i'll try my best to do so. Recently i got to know this girl from my workplace (A ship) .... I never got to know her until one day .... we happened to stay overnight onboard because we had to work really early the next day. I usually leave my Guitar onboard ship for entertainment purposes. That night, we had a wonderful time together Singing songs at the upper deck. In the past, I hardly knew her nor noticed her presense. She is just one of the crew onboard our ship, just someone I barely talked to. After that night of Singspiration, our friendship flourished. Both of us are taking a part time Degree in a Uni. Hence everytime we sailed, we will use our free time to study together. She will always come to me to ask me to change my schedule to align with her's so that we can go on and off watch together. Everytime we were together, there is always something interesting to talk about ... something Funny happening. We will wait for each other during meal times .... meet to cook special delicacies before going on watch .... we basically see each other on and off watch. We talked every night. I feel really comfortable and happy being with her and I really hope that this friendship can be taken into the next level. But I really don't know what she thinks. Because from what I know, there are others who are close to her too. And the problem is, One of the Junior person in her department has this major Crash on her. And I believe he has taken action to go after her. Sometimes when we have to work late, she will send him back to his place as they both stay near each other. According to her, he would hang out at her place to watch T.V and stuff. His feelings for her is known throughout the ship. Knowing her as a Flamboyant, outgoing and sociable person .... she could easily get close to any guys onboard. I really want to tell her how i feel but I'm afraid of rejection. I don't know if she's treating me so well because I am a friend or because she is fond of me as well. She has many suiters, which means that i will either be just one of the guys who likes her, or be "The Guy" who likes her. Please advice. Thanks! PM more preferable. Just me

Hey Cloud .... the very special person who will make you want to get out of bed is you .... Self Esteem didn't come easy for me too .... I got ridiculed by many of my childhood friends too .... in fact the hurt that was inflicted lasted many years. They made me feel stupid, small and ugly. I do admit that for a guy, I'm small built and I do need a little more time than others to respond to situations. I used to think i was stupid and slow. I actually identified myself as Forrest Gump! But I grew up to realise, that I was slow because I was thinking. I needed more time because I evaluate before I act. And this attributed to many decisions in life which I am glad I had made. You see, nobody knows exactly why you are the way you are, and there is definitely a reason for that. The "ugly" person that you see in the mirror is actually a reflection of your opiniated self. The most beautiful thing on earth is not a perfect nose nor a sparkling bright eyes ... it's a beautiful smile and a friendly disposition ... now THAT'S what I call pretty!! I'm sure you have talents, great Charateristics and personality hidden inside you .... and you got to take time to discover them. Many people in my workplace don't appreciate me .... but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate myself .... and it doesn't mean I don't appreciate others. Not everybody has eyes to see the inside ... but the most important thing is that you need to see it yourself. I agree with the previous replies ..... you can start to change your dress sense, pamper yourself with a nice hair-do, do some facial. It helps you build your confidence and makes your presense more prominent. But the most beautiful thing you can ever have is the smile ..... it's priceless ....

I totally agree with Eve and Vital ..... your ex is definitely NOT the ultimate critic for girlfriends and what he say cannot be taken seriously. It would seemed to me that he doesn't love you at all .... nobody would say such things to someone he loves?! I think your current boyfriend really loves you alot ..... he could see beyond every physical aspect and see the true beauty in you. I would rather stay with someone who loves me for who I am than someone who loves me for how I look .... superficial relationships are brittle .... and leads to superficial results ... You might not be satisfied in the way you look, but you have now found someone who appreciates that "good" in you .... and I hope you could see the good that he has found in you too ... : )

yeah ... its true ... I had a few relationships before ... and I realized something .... the function of a girlfriend is not the same as friends. I can't exactly tell you the bolts and nuts of it ... but what I know is this .... "you can do without a girlfriend, but you can't do without friends" I used to think I need a girlfriend. Wanted it very badly. And until I got myself one, I realize it's not really what I wanted. She didn't really fill up the emptiness in me .... and I had more responsibilities which I realize I didn't want. I felt very selfish .... because the very reason why I got together with her, was to fulfill my needs ... which was never the remedy. Hence my advise to you is .... never get a girlfriend because you need a girrlfriend ..... you get together with someone because you love her ... not because you need her. The need is just an illusion ..... Go drink beer and watch football with your friends .... Learn a new skill like a language or technical stuff ..... Join an interest group like a sport or music or something .... you never know you might find someone of your dreams ...

I'm truly sorry for the situation you are in .... if I could be there right now .... I'll give you a big Hug ... .*Hugz* But I believe if you know the right thing to do .... just press on and don't give up ... you will not stay in desolation forever!! @@)

You are right .... no one will ever understand your situation and you don't expect anyone else will. And your boyfriend is right .... based on what you shared, you ARE seeing the worse in everything. And if this carries on ... you will find everthing else taken away from you. There are 2 kinds of problem in this world. One is the kind that is solvable, another is the kind that is unsolvable. The way to solve a solvable problem is ... as you expected ... to SOLVE IT! And if the problem is unsolvable .... then the only thing you can do is to ... LET GO! The worse and i repeat the worse situation you can bring yourself into is a situation that you have a problem that is unsolvable and you refuse to let go!! Which I presume is exactly the situation you are in now. There are a couple of things you can't change. Firstly, your Family History and background, secondly, your Family themselves!! To let go doesn't mean you don't care!! But it means that you have to stop looking into self, stop expecting something from them! I don't exactly understand your background, but I come from a poverty cursed family too. Although I admit I don't come from a situation as bad as yours, but i do believe there are many people who's situation are far more worse than yours. And when you get to know that ... it's when you get to see how fortunate you are to have a what you have around you. Now in your situation .... it seemed to me that all you see is a problem. Problem problem and more problems ..... You have written yourself a list of expectations from your Family, grandma, Boyfriend, Boyfriend's friends, etc. But have you ever thought of what they expect from you? Have you ever thought of what they would say if they discuss about you over dinner? If you want money .... work for it. You want a car ... buy it. You want respect ... earn it. You want happiness .... laugh it out. I think it's time you re-evaluate your life and start to think about how useful you are to the people around you. Expectation results in Disappointment .... A merry heart does good like Medicine .... Give and don't expect .... just be happy ...

Hey SC .... I'm around your age and i'm going through what you are going through as well. I have lots of friends leading the high life, Sleeping around doing Drugs and stuff and gettign materialistic and stuff. And as far as i could see .... these people just don't see the point about living at all. They need these things to stimulte them to temporal joy and happiness ... whereby true happiness can be found in the simpliest things in life. Sometimes, I feel pretty tempted to join in ... F more girls .... get high and lead a high life. But I can't bring myself to because it totally defeats the reason I was created and I find it totally meaningless. For me, I love to play the guitar ... especially jazz guitar .... I do SCUBA diving .... I go Clubbing as well but mainly as a social activity .... I love Wine and good Food ... and I like to Travel. You see, these things adds meaning to my life .... When I grow old ... I'm going to remember how good a guitarist I am .... how many beautiful coral reefs and marine Life I've Experienced .... how many places I've travelled .... Who are the people I met and what are the things I've learnt .... I'm not gonna remember how many Grams of Heroin I took .... How many Girls I've F*** ..... How many bottles I've drank. If you do feel a sense of achievement in all these .... I feel so sad. And I do think .... even though your friends might be having fun out there .... there must be somewhere inside them ... that is empty and lost. And I don't think this is what they want their Kids to learn in the Future. I mean ... why do something when you can't do openly. If you can't tell it to the Kids ... something must be wrong with it.

I guess for my way of life .... I'm not the kind of guy who would be a Cracking loud Fun or Dramatic Chirpy Jovial person .... but I do think that life is like a train ride and we ought to enjoy it every bit as we can .... For me, I enjoy beautiful things ... subtle things ... like a Nice Jazz piece ... a well cooked Tenderloin .... a beautiful Masterpiece .... etc. Some people like Extreme sports .... Beer and nuts .... Slap stick movies ... You never know what you can get in life .... it depends on how you interpret it when they come. The most important thing is that you are LOoking forward to it. You can't always get the happiest conversation .... the most perfect Job ... nor the most loyal friend. But you can choose to say and listen to the right stuff .... get a job you enjoy .... and see the good in the person you are talking to .... Doesn't always happen, and when it does not .... you don't have to stay on. Bottom line ..... Avoid pessimistic people ... Avoid Pessimistic thoughts ... if you are one yourself .... look on the Bright Side ... you are breathing and staring at the Sun .... there is always a Good Reason why you are alive ... If you want others to be happy .... be happy yourself ... : )

Cure of Ars, It was pride .... It was pride that Lucifer was driven from heaven .... it was pride that constitude the fall of Israel (old testiment) ..... it was pride that had driven the early church into War .... it was Pride that drove the Pharisees to Cruxify Jesus .... It was pride that the church denied many doctrines .... It was pride that caused many to turn away from the Church .... and I say this to my shame for the very believe that I endorse .... and that me too ... cannot escape from this entity. Hence if there is a prayer ... i pray that God will unveil our eyes to see .. wisdom to discern .... "For I am the Vine, and you are the branches, apart from me, you can do nothing." John 15 "Grace and peace be multiplied to you through the knowledge of Christ Jesus" 2 Peter 1:2 "But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works, otherwise grace is no longer grace." - Romans 11:6 " .... you who are seeking to to be justified by the Law; you have fallen from Grace."

Cure of Ars .... I don't mean to say who is wrong and who is right. But if you read the book of Romans .... salvation is really not about us meeting God's standards ... because if that is the case .... YOU are going to HELL ... Romans 2:23 ... all have sinned and fall short the glory of God. You mentioned about the verse when Jesus said .... "be perfect because your heavenly father is perfect." In this verse, if you are taking into context of an achievement in Holiness to attain a state of perfection that God can accept us, then NONE of us will go to heaven .... But rather, when we are told about Holiness ... it is referring to Jesus. It's Jesus in us that makes us perfect ... not our good deeds. Because Jesus had fulfilled God's law of Covenant thru Blood and forgiveness once and for all .... we then, can enter into God's covenant to accept Jesus into our lives and "Be Perfect". So to be perfect is not about us .... it's about Christ. Righteousness is not attained by human standards. There is not even one man in the bible that is perfect enough to meet God's standard of righteousness. Notice how every "man of God" fell at some point in their lives? Beside Enoch and Elijah ... when God took them to heaven instantly without death. Romans spoke about Righteousness as being a Gift .... NOT an achievement. (Romans 5:15 - 17) But because it was the early Church ... and for most conservative doctrines, many bible interpretors cannot accept the fact that Righteousness cannot be attained. Everone wants to be part of the reward ..... no one could accept the fact that they can't do anything at all to attain perfection. Where in the first place ... it is received rather than attained. I am one living example ... when doctrines which pushes me to discipline didn't work .... but doctrines of Grace changed me forever. After Christ died .... man no longer need to work .... it's God's work ..... LET GO, LET GOD

I wrote: As for the erroneous deeds that were committed throughout the history of the Christian Church .... i am ashamed of that too. The Church, what ever the case, is still managed and consists of people. And human makes mistakes ... Christians are not perfect. But you can blame God just because of what his followers had done. And you can't doubt his existence just because of the absense of intervention. Faith is unseen. You don't hope for something that is seen .... you only hope for something that is not seen. That is the concept of Faith. You can call it stupid .... Naive. But maybe to some people, Faith gives them hope .. and hope gives them the reason to live. And it gives them energy to go on. There was a Typo error ... I meant to say ... "You CAN"T Blame God just because of what his followers had done." Sorry about that.

Talking about free will .... I believe everyone can do whatever he wants to do. You can donate a sum of money to the Charity, you could buy chocolates for a friend, you can steal a wallet or set fire at someone else's porch. But whatever you do has consequences. I agree with Rahll. Man IS Selfish. Whether you are an Aethist, Christian, Satanist or anything at all. A church Pastor could choose his line of work because he thinks he's doing God's will. But why does he want to do God's will. Is it because he loves God so much that he wants to delicate his life for him? Or is it because he wants to live the right way that he might result in a fuller and more peaceful lifestyle? But whatever the case .... there is nothing wrong with doing something for yourself .... in fact ... we all ought to take care of ourselves. As long as selfishness is not conveyed to the extent of hurting others .... there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But as for the concept of free will that has been mentioned at the earlier posts ... i beg to differ. I don't believe that anyone in this world are free to think. If you claim to be a free thinker and yet you think about Naked women all the time ... you're not free to think are you? We are all bounded by desires, values and opinions. Even if you think you are free ... being obstinate about your concept of free will doesn't exactly makes you a person who thinks freely does it? It only make you a person who is binded by your concept of free will. "Do unto others what you want others to do unto you" Whatever you choose to do has a consequence to it. If free will means you can do anything under the sun, you can kill, steal and rape. But if you are caught ... it means you are caught. You will be charged in court ... hung or even electrocuted. So in this case .... do you exactly have free will at all? We all have influences on the way we think from our Families, Schools, Friends, Religious practices, especially TV and MUSIC!! Like it or not, whether you choose to deny these influences when you reach a certian age ... you will still live according to what you have been influenced. The music you listen to ... the Lyrics you sing a long .... the TV programmes are some of the Biggest sources of influence on young people. The Define what is cool ... what is nice ... what is right .... and people actually follow it. YOu think that gives you a free will to think? Is there anyone who would want a revolution on the media? Abdolutely not ... because people find solace and sense of belonging when they turn on their stereo and television ... whether or not these media hits them give negative concepts or not!! Who gives them the right to tell people what is nice and cool? Some people have lived their lives according to what's depicted on television. You can dye your hair, pierce your nipples, drink tonnes of liqour, talk like a rock star all you want. It will be good if you are doing it as you are, as you feel it. But are you really yourself when you do that? And does that give you the right to discriminate someone who is not as "Cool" as you are? If so, define "cool" ... and define Originality? It's all in that little electronic box called TV. Personally, I am a Christian. But I don't and never agree in imposing my beliefs on other people. But i will share when I'm asked. I will rebuke when challenged. And since this is a Forum ... I will contribute. As for the erroneous deeds that were committed throughout the history of the Christian Church .... i am ashamed of that too. The Church, what ever the case, is still managed and consists of people. And human makes mistakes ... Christians are not perfect. But you can blame God just because of what his followers had done. And you can't doubt his existence just because of the absense of intervention. Faith is unseen. You don't hope for something that is seen .... you only hope for something that is not seen. That is the concept of Faith. You can call it stupid .... Naive. But maybe to some people, Faith gives them hope .. and hope gives them the reason to live. And it gives them energy to go on. You want the truth? And do you think you can find the truth by reading more articles, surfing the net and reading all the books in the Library? Then let me tell you the truth. The truth is .... you can NEVER EVER Find the Truth even with Centuries of Research .... even if you read ALL the books in the world!! Issues that has been under debate for centuries has never found an answer ... what makes you think that any of us can so called find and "Determine" the truth? Truth is found in your heart. Whatever you believe in. For me, I found my truth in God ... in Christ Jesus .... in the death of his cross that redeemed me from my sins past future present. You can choose to believe in something else called free will. You can deny Christ and try to convince someone else to do it. But you can't take away the joy that Christianity has brought to my life. Again, for this ... I believe no one in this world is free to think. thereforeeee there must be a system of believe that everyone adopts. Even if he chooses to worship the toilet and finds joy in that .... no one can stop him ... and there will be a end result to his faith. Hence whatever that makes you happy ... whatever that can enables you to live life abundantly ... that will be truth for you. As for the church "inflicting guilt on others" for a wrong deed ..... I don't believe in that either. I believe a Believer in Christ is transformed not by his own effort .... but by the transformation in Christ. Galatians 5 mentions Fruits of the Spirit .... and works of the Flesh. Discipline is a fruit of the spirit ... and definitely not WORKs of the flesh. thereforeeee we CANNOT attain the fruits of the spirit by the works of the flesh. "God has given us all things pertaining to LIFE and GODLINESS according to the knowledge of Jesus". Hence the key to living a Christlike lifestyle ... is NOT trying to meet up the standards of God ..... but to appreciate the death of Jesus by reading the bible and meditating on his word. In this case ..... there is NO Guilt involved! In fact ... God hated those who inflict Guilt on others. A good Examples are the Pharisees. Jesus Called these people a "brood of Vipers" .... because they think of themselves as Holy and righteous by inflicting Guilt on those who are not as "Holy" as they are. And the sad this is .... there are heaps of people in the church who are as hyprocritical as they are .... And I hope for whoever reads this ... PLEASE Do not doubt nor get agry at God because of Mistakes made by his followers. They are learning too ... and they had their bad experiences too. I backslided because of that. Because of the very same reason that many of you felt. I felt guilty ... too dirty for God. I was angry at the flaws of the church and I even tried to deny Christ. But ya know what I realised? I realised that denying Christ is just as good as denying that my name is Glenn Fong. It's so impossible!! No matter how much i tried to tell myself God is not there ..... it failed. And no matter what the church had done .... it never stained the Holiness of God. Anyone can enjoy anything under the sun .... Sports, Food, Travelling, Arts, Diving, Cars, Materialism, etc. But not everyone can enjoy the Spiritual peace and comfort. There are many aspects that makes a person whole. Family, Social, Work, Hobbies, and religon is definitely one of them. There is nothing wrong with being an Aethist .... but it will be so sad ... cause you are missing something in life.

Thanks for your reply .... I like the part when you mentioned that there is no such thing as an ownership to an idea. It makes alot of sense. And about being "different" is just how I percieve myself .... and I actually shouldn't not have tried so hard to blend in .... because I already have .. Thanks! Glenn

I guess coming from an Asian country .... people are commonly more conservative and less willing to share about personal opinions and their lifestyle. If they bear opinions different from others ... they most probably keep it to themselves rather than sharing it out. Generally, my colleges are typical of the Asian Culture. They would joke about work, something they see, something they are reminded of. Or they will complain about work and routine. It's not that I dont like to joke ... i do .... but we just don't share the same frequency for humour .... you get what i mean? I like to talk about life ... about my plans ... about my opinions on issues and people .... about values and what I did for the weekend. I like SCUBA, Wine, Fine Dining, Jazz, Bossa, Guitars, investments, stocks etc. I can hardly find anyone of the same interest but it's fine ... coz as long as the recipient is open minded ... he would either contribute about a topic he is familiar about or he would learn more about the topic that was discussed by asking questions. But i feel as if i was the only one or few who does that. And it's very stifling when there are cliques around that does not want to be interrupted. And people go by speculation .... they interpret actions without confronting issues. ya get what I mean? The general interests are in Cars, Comics, Cartoons, PC gaming, Play station, Bikes, etc. Which I find it cool for where their passion lies. Is there a way you thiink I should communicate better? Or do I need a Paradigm shift? Maybe there's a way to make people feel more confortable being with me?

Great to hear a new life Birthed from past experiences ..... I'm sure you'll find your north star somewhere .... All the best bro!!!