wlfpack81

Ah the stereotype that black guys like white women b/c of the submissiveness? I thought white men liked to date Asian women b/c of that same reason (not that I believe this but I'm making a point, or at least trying to)? Yet seems when that is brought up it's denied yet bring up my first point about blacks w/white women and seems everyone (non-whites) want to accept that as fact. Now you see why some (at least speaking for myself) would be very cautious about dating a white girl? Usually w/black males the first thought that comes to many minds (even older blacks) usually contain some sort of negativity. To me beauty if beauty and if she happens to be white or whatever so be it but then again the negative aspects which you just mentioned would make me want to forget even trying. Not really worth it. Some black women may feel threatened by white girls (or any non-black dating a black male) b/c they may think the best of the best so to speak are being taken away. Of course on the opposite end of the spectrum you have some white males getting upset at white girls w/black men b/c they feel we're of a lower class and that the girls are selling out or maybe they don't want the bloodlines "tainted" as they say. Yep it's very said but again it is what it is unfortunately. For those who can date outside their race I commend them b/c they are obviously putting up w/so much crap from their race, family and their partners family, race. I just honestly don't know how they do it. I've seen a few interracial couples here in Oklahoma (very conservative and no diversity) that were white male/black female, black male/white female and often think to myself what they must be going through. Especially given the make up of this region. And I know what you mean about even having friends of another race. Usually people make excuses and just mention interracial dating but in honesty they don't even interracial friendships if it involves a male/female. I wish you luck in the future though in whatever you do. Just curious what part of the U.S. do you live in since you mention progressiveness? I'm assuming it's either in the northeast, west coast or northwest. At least you're not stuck in the Heartland/Middle America like me

Sad that it's to the point we have to find a comeback when someone says you're too nice

I can't speak on the other issues (I'm not experienced in the world of dating at all) but maybe I can on this one. Assuming your white and me fitting into the category of other race (black or African-American if that suites you) it could be that these other guys (outside of your race) may be a bit nervous about starting a relationship with a white girl if they haven't done so before due to all the negative stereotypes and energy associated with non-whites dating a white girl. I'v seen attractive women of all races (not so much anymore since I now live in Oklahoma and not much diversity here) before but in my mind I think (if I weren't shy to begin with) would it be even worth trying to strike up a conversation with her. If it turns out she's into dating many different types of people/races then the relationship would still have a hard time getting going just b/c of all the BS she'd probably get from her family/friends/race and me receiving the same BS from my side as well as her side, especially if it were a white girl who I happened to be interested in. Of course then again it depends on what particular race outside of your own you tend to be attracted too (Asian, Black, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, Native American etc.). Some interracial relationships aren't looked down as bad (Asian male with a white girl) as others (black male with a white girl). Sorry to go on and I hope this doesn't start a flame war but since you mentioned you like those in other races I felt I need to give my opinion on the reason why these guys may be ignoring you and not making any active moves. If you're not white then my point isn't as good but still applies somewhat b/c it takes a lot of courage for people to date interracially and some just don't think it's worth the BS they'd get from society.

Guess one thing that is key here is your age? Obviously it seems you're both around or under 16 since she had to drive you back home and that probably figures a lot into her reaction. Of course being they're very religious even if you both were 22 the reaction may have still been a bit harsh but nowhere near as bad as if you both were under 18 or worse, 14-16yrs old or so.

Hey Kyo, I know this is off topic but WHO is that in your avatar!? Just wondering b/c she has a cute face and great smile LOL. Thanks.

Word of advice. I wouldn't ask out that undergrad unless you really are into her!!! Don't use this undergrad as a tool to make this other girl jealous b/c in a way you'd be doing the same thing to her that this other girl did to you (use you).

Ah the backup plan. No one likes being the backup plan. Hope karma doesn't come back to get you on this one. I mean honestly you have to do what you feel is right but sucks for the other girl knowing she isn't the 1st choice. *of course in most relationships I bet the significant other wasn't the 1st choice

I'm working during the day so at least part of the time I'll be occupied. However, for that night I plan on getting a 12-pack and throwing them back while watching tv or something or listen to hard music.

She's not interested. Logic would tell you that.

I know the feeling of getting jealous at other couples. That's why I haven't attended any weddings of my friends from college and don't plan on it (same w/attending weddings of co-workers). I'd attend the weddings of my 3 best friends growing up but right now it doesn't appear they're getting hitched anytime soon either.

I agree w/annie24. Time for some legal action on this guy b/c this is creepy. Hopefully you can get in contact w/your phone comapny and get a log of his calls for evidence.

Don't forget this guy is 16. He and his potential date may not be of the coffee drinking age yet.

Hmm only $15 to your name? Well, unless dating isn't allowed by your folks I'd ask them (mainly dad) for a few extra bucks. He'll understand and will probably be proud that his soon is going out on a date. If that doesn't work then I guess maybe a movie (if ticket prices aren't too high in AZ) or if that doesn't work maybe ice skating, bowling, putt-putt golf? Those last options are probably better than a movie since you both will actually have to chat with one another.

You're young but don't wait too long to try and get help for your problems. I was 14 once and in your same situation and now I'm 24 AND still in the same situation.

How to tell? Well, usually good looking guys (and girls) in general can get away w/crap b/c of their looks and are more likely to have some butthole tendencies b/c all is forgotten since they're attractive. They don't have to work on personality at all!!! It's the ugly guys like me (and girls) who are usually nicer b/c they can't just walk around, or flash a smile and get attention. Personality actually has to come into effect to give them any chance. So while I know it's natural to want an attractive partner just be period to more than likely have someone who will have a higher tendency to treat you like crap.

Hey I'm single, in a part of the country I hate and have to actually work Christmans Eve/Day and the 2 days after that so you're not totally alone my friend. We'll make it through the holidays.

It is time to worry. I remember when I was in 4th grade that I started longing for a g/f. For whatever reason I've wanted a g/f since 2nd grade and I guess God is making me go through living hell by making me suffer w/sad thoughts of being lonely since then. Guess that's what I get for not going to church that often But anyways at that time I figured oh, just wait a while and you'll be okay. Next thing you know I was in HS, then in college and now 24 about to be 25 in 7months and in a hellish situation where the odds for me finding love is low. Don't wait too long man. Or else you will end up like me and Kyo. Listen to Kyo's advice. He's been through it. Shy has good advice but I feel me and Kyo at times present the other angle which is good to see from time to time.

Yea man move on to the next girl!!!

This guy probably is being cautious b/c as you stated white women w/black men is really looked down upon in society especially from white males. Even in the past when I've gone out on the town w/a white female friend of mine I'd get looks and stares, walking to class w/her back in college I got looks and stares. I mean we weren't even dating but I guess people who walked by automatically assumed we were. Of course a lot of people don't even want interracial friendships between white women/black men. You're friend is probably playing it safe b/c he doesn't feel like going through all the outside BS he'd face. I know w/me personally there were times when I almost didn't want to go hang out w/the girl I mentioned b/c I didn't feel like getting holes burned in my shirt from stares. Sad but true.

Don't meet guys at bars. There's your dang mistake. End of story.

No offense but the chances of this working is nil. You CANNOT supress those type of feelings for someone no matter what you do. Feelings of attraction are natural and you can't fool yourself. Well, IMO that still sounds like being friends w/the hopes of obtaining her as a g/f should she break up w/her current b/f though you mention you're going to keep your options open.

IMO I think it's nearly impossible for a guy to be friends w/girls unless you're not attracted to her. But you already stated this girl is gorgeous and that "for now" you're okay w/her dating someone else. Me thinks that maybe you want to befriend her now in the hopes eventually she'll get out of the current relationship she's in and then you'll be next in line so to speak. Bad idea if that's the case my friend. And even if that's not your plans b/c you're attracted to her eventually the more you become friends w/her the more you'll want her and the more copmlicated the relationship will get. I suggest just doing out and trying to get an actual girlfriend instead. She'd be your friend to be on a complete different level than what you're looking for.

B/c it's the last thing that I haven't been able to freaking complete yet. Thankfully I have a good family situation and always have. I got good grades in school, went to college and got decent grades there and graduated. Then a few months after graduation I got a job in what I went to school for. So that's 1) Good family life 2) Education completed 3) Financial situation right now where I want it to be So what's the one thing that's missing and has always been misssing? Oh: 4) Love life Until I get that I'm incomplete and in school it doesn't matter if you have an A going into the end. If you don't finish the class then it's an INCOMPLETE. End of story...

And let's add this too if it hasn't already (didn't feel like reading this whole thread again). People also want to experience physical love and you know what I'm getting it. And most people don't want to have to pay for it, won't force it upon someone (or at least I hope they aren't thinking of that) and unless your a total messed up person you're not going to turn to your mom, sister or cousin to get your rocks off. Of course Palmula Handerson only works for so long and after a while that doesn't even get you what you need. Yea relationships are more than just sex but sex is one of the good side effects of being in a loving relationship.