mermayd

I am just curious, if someone says "no" to an engagement proposal, what happens to the relationship after the fact? Does the couple break up?

so, yes, the white went away relatively quickly. This morning I woke up and my gums were peeling (and bleeding a bit) and I think it is a result of being to aggressive and intense when I was brushing. Not a result of simply doing it bc I have done it before. But the peeling has stopped since this morning and my gums are healing very quickly. So to those out there who may experience it, no worries. I asked some dentists and they said when the gums are raw to avoid acidic foods and drinks and to put abreva on it until it gets better.

What do you do when you are totally and completely in love with someone, have an unspoken but undenyable connection that is few and far between, and have been with this person for three years, but all of a sudden, out of nowhere, when this relationship you are in is at a "high" and everything is great, someone else comes walking into your life, unexpectedly, and makes you feel special and brings out the school-girl-giddiness you had forgotten about? I love my boyfriend deeply. I dont understand why I have this crush all of a sudden on someone else. I feel so high school. but I miss that giddy feeling, yet I am feeling guilty for enjoying its breif visit.

we have been living together for all of the time we have been together except for the past 3 months. within those 3 months, we have seen eachother twice, as I stated above. I have talked to him already and nothing has changed. thats the problem. what do you do after that?

My bf of 3 yrs and I are currently 400 miles apart. I have gone to see him once and then I went down for my mom and he came out. but he has yet to come up to me. 3 months have passed. He said he needs to establish independence. I can understand and respect that. he feels like we are married and is scared of that. ok, thats fine with me. He has a life. thats great! I want him to! But it hurts that he doesnt take the time for me. to call. to IM. to see me. I feel unimportant and when I talk to him about it, he blows it off or puts a bandaid over it. The last few weeks, we have barely talked. we just went 4 days without any sort of communication. the conversation was minimal. Since then, it has been 3 days and I dont expect he will get in touch with me for another few days. it hurts. I refuse to be the "nagging wife" and I want him to have a life without me asking a million questions or intruding. I WONT be that person. I have tried talking to him and I dont get a response. So what else am I to do? Someone decided to break up with their bf for farting. and everyone was egging that on. Does this mean that I should give up in my situation too?

I pains me to say that I have been feeling the same way. So, you're not alone. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to except going to sleep and dreaming. I wish I could stay threre forever. I wish I could be comatose sometimes. Just sleep and pick it up later. All I have tomorrow are my obligations.

thank you shysoul, that is EXACTLY what I meant!

im sorry, my comment wasnt meant to address those who have never had the experiences of a relationship. I am saddened by such circumstances as well. I was more addressing those who have and are not at the present moment for the record, I dont believe in adam and eve as anything more than a metaphor to understand human nature. a good story. and that isnt meant to step on anyones toes. i am allowed my own veiws. But I do believe that humans we not meant to be alone. We need companionship. we are social beings, from an anthropological perspective. So social, as a matter of fact, that we are not monogomous either. only society and the church say we have to be. but thats a whole other issue. again, not trying to step on toes, so dont get offended

Dont be so envious and jealous of those who are in a relationship. Please keep in mind that every situation has its faults. Just as singlehood isnt always fun, relationships aren't all roses and glory, either. Everyone needs to keep this in mind. just a random thought

My bf has experienced this situaiton in the past. I am the second relationship and I went to him with this new information because it was surprising to me. But more-so because this has been an ongoing issue with my male friends that he has been aware of (and very non chalant about) and I honestly didnt think he would react the way he did (but somewhat pleased that he got a little possessive...never seen it in him before) I thought he would blow it off like nothing like he has before. I told him primarily because I tell him things as my friend. As someone said before, we are not just mates, he is my best friend and I his. So as a friend, i told him this. I tld him it was a concern of mine and I have been distancing myself from my friends. When I told him this tonight, my intention was mostly to let him know that there are two people who I cannot be friends with bc of this new information. They said they were in love with me. When before we all thought it was innocent interest. I cannot be friends with them and respect my relationship with my bf. But my bf doesnt see it that way. He would barely even hear me out that I was telling him this bc I feel I have lost my friends. But he just wants to see it (right now) as a repetition of the past. I love him so much and would never ever do anything to hurt him. I have never given him anything other than assurance that I was totally committed and devouted to him. And all of that feels gone now bc he is basing this experience on what happened before. I fear he will make conclusions about my behavior that are untrue. And I fear he will not grow to believe anything other then what he has experienced. I just want him to be as sure as he was yesterday that I love him more than anything in the world. Thats the bottom line.

If you were in a previous long-term relationship and the person you were dating were convincing enough for you to believe that they loved you truly. And then about 2-3 years into the relationship, this person tells you that other people are into them. but they love YOU. They want to be with YOU. So you dont worry. Until time passes and you find out this person has been sleeping around, particularly with your friends and acquaintences. You are hurt and angry and fearful. But you get into another relationship. Now you have been in THIS relationship with someone new for 3 years. You love them, trust them, everything you want in a relationship is in this relationship. its wonderful. But your mate comes to you and tells you other people are into them. You intnatly make the association of your previous relationship. And everything your mate is telling you, you get more and more upset because it is EXACTLY what the previous person had said to you. And they ended up cheating on you. You dont want to believe that will happen in this relationship but the similarities are so relfective you cant help it and you are really upset about this. But this person you are with right now really does love you and would never do anything to hurt you. And although they tell you this, you have heard it before. You have heard everything to be conviced before and nothing will make you believe otherwise. No words will, at least. If anything, they might make things worse because it could just be further reinforcement of reflection of this all happening before and you can conclude more easily the outcome (even if that will not be the case) So my question is: What could this person do or say to make you feel sure, as sure as you used to be, that there is no reason for you to worry? That they love you more than anything in the world? Please tell me

I think it just may be a cyst, which you can get topical cream for. but if you are concerned, check with a dermatologist

I have never encountered an uncircumsized penis. But if I do, I wouldnt be bothered by it in the least. As long as it is kept clean. From my friends, I have heard that uncicumsized actually feels better and is more fun

I am faced with a compromising situation. I dont know what to do. I was planning to move to LA in july for grad school, plus my bf of 3 years moved down there recently and thats where I am from and my family lives. I had it all planned out. Turns out the school I was going to go to isnt all that great and I have decided not to go. I have changed my plans for my education. What I plan to get, I can get at any school. I still was intending on going to LA for my bf and my family. Now my family (aunt, uncle, parents) are all moving up here (sacramento) when I was planning on moving to LA. So the only thing left in LA is my bf. Which is fine and great. But we will not be living together (we have before for 2 years) and he is busy with work and is not providing much promise for the future of our relationship. We are both in very fluid states of our life and when he graduates, he may move to wherever there is work, while I am still in school. So its not a good situation. I am trying to decide if I should stay here in sac, where I will have my family and friends and my apartment, or go to SF for school, get a place and still have my family and friends nearby. Or if I should move to LA with hope of our relationship strengthening. Either decision will require me giving something up. just a matter of what and which will benefit me in the long run

I have had enjoyable sex with someone I dont have deep feelings for. the stimulation was enjoyable. but emotions definitely play a huge part in the sex act as a whole. Stimulation can feel good physically but we all want the completeness of the experience which would require emotions as well. But that is not to say that sex itself cannot be pleasurable without the emotions. it can just be MORE pleasureable. Another point I wanted to make was that I have thought about what if my guy had sex with another chick. I would be much more accepting and willing to work through it if the chick were more of a stranger than anything else. it meant he was just horny. But if he slept with an ex, there are emotions there. he had cared for that person deeply at some point and if he had sex with her, it is likely that those emotions are present in such a situation and that takes away fromt he conectedness of our relationship.

are you in a relationship right now? how long have you been with this person? are you friends with your exs? do you speak with them frequently? If you were your partner, would there be any reason for concern? My bf has always kept in touch with his exs. I told him I am accepting of it but I cant help but feel a bit uneasy and his speaking with them is all out in the open right now and I appreciate the honesty and all and want it. But there is insecurity in me and I dont know if it is valid. I know he loves me and I prolly have nothing to concern over, but I am still uneasy about it. and it doesnt help that they are gorgeous

hmm...two resources I havent yet heard of. they sound interesting. Ill definitely look into it. Thanks guys!

many of my earliest posts regarded this type of situation. The only part you can do to help this situation is be honest with her. dont hide anything or it will be considered threatening to the relationship and she will jump to conclusions. So be honest with her and tell her things without her asking. Also reassure her at any given point in time that you care for her, what she means to you, and that you find her sexy. These suggestions wont fix anything, but they will benefit you in the end and she will be less likely to be irrational. The truth is, the problem is within her. She is insecure and there is nothing that you can do to change that. She needs to believe in herself, by herself. and if she cannot do that, it will definitely have a negative impact on your relationship. But hang in there and be patient! I, myself, have grown considerably over the past few years, but it took me about a year or so to even be ready for the growth

Where does one go when they are the one everyone else goes to? I saw my bf this weekend (YAY!) and it was amazing. good times good times. we got a hotel and I would love to share details only bc I remember being in a position where I wanted new info, not the cliche typical tips on sex. Something new and exciting. So, over the past 3 years, I have learned quite a bit about myself, my partner, and sex and what it can be. I am very open about sex and I have tried many things that people would probably be surprised about. My only issue is that now I dont have any answers. What people say about what sex tips to try are either in our standard sex schedule, or just boring at this point. I cant seem to tap into my creativity and I want to experiemtn more! its fun! So if anyone has any tips, please share. I will be happy to share my own as well if asked. I guess its like, who does the sex therapist go to for sex tips???

I am in a bad place to give any sound advice to you. All I can say is that I sympathize with you and feel exactly what you are going through and where you are coming from. Are you as bitter as I am?

it was his bday, not mine. and I have/am attempting to end things between us since he is not showing any effort on his part. But he is fighting it. He doesnt want to end the relationship. It just doesnt make any sense to me.

2 months. it has been 2 months since he has moved 400 miles away. He will IM me, and call me, but only after I make it an issue that he hasnt in a while. Why doesnt he want to see me? He was supposed to come up here for his bday at the end of Feb. No go. He said he might have to work but he ended up not working. I offered to go to him the following weekend. No again. He didnt want that either. He said maybe this weekend and now, I dont think that will be happening. Spring break is next weekend and I doubt I will even see him then. I feel very "whatever" about the whole thing. Like "fine! screw you!" But I just dont understand. HAving been together for 3 years, living together for 2, it seems he has no desire to see me. He says he misses me and wants to see me but then never follows through.

*tears* I am happy for you two. Your relationship sounds so familiar in more than one or two ways. The best to you

God, I dont know. I don't want to lose him. I love him so much. We have been together for just shy of 3 years, lived together for 2. Neither of us have ever allowed ourself to actually LOVE another person, until we entered eachothers lives. He moved back home to go to school in the beginning of January. He has been working non stop and going to school and I have been very sympathetic and patient about it. He would be consumed by work and school when we were living together, so its not a new thing. And I was supportive and patient, even though I wanted more time with him. Now hes 400 miles away and still in the habit of being a workaholic. I talked to him before he moved, while, and since about how he needs to put a little extra effort into communication between us since we are not living together. He agreed but his actions didnt follow through. I talked to him about it a few times since hes moved and he makes broken promises. He was supposed to come up to visit me tomorrow (his birthday) for the weekend. He said he would try but he wanted to finish a project. Today I asked how it was going and if he was coming up like I have been expecting. He said it doesnt look promising (a.k.a. "no"). I have heard his excuses and broken promises before and let our relationship continue and have been sympathetic. But if he isnt going to put ANY effort into us, that is not satisfying my needs. I explained I didnt need to be top on his list all the time but every once in a while would be sufficient. His calls are sparce and empty for the most part so I have been feeling less connected to him since hes moved. So basically I explained my side to him and told him this relationship isnt working. I cant be the only one putting forth the effort. He was silent for a lot of the conversation and then said I was right but its not something he wants. He said he sees that he needs to re evaluate his priorities, but that I need to know that "this is who he is" and I DO see that and am sensitive and understanding and patient about it. But this is who I am and there needs to be compromise between the both of us. So we left the convo sorta hanging. He said he wants to think about things because I am right and he doesnt want to give me up, but he doesnt want to drag me along either. I just want him to SEE. I love him so so so so so much. god so much. I dont want to lose him and I dont want this to be the end. but neither of us will be happy if its onesided. So I am doubting if I made the right choice now. Bc I really see myself with him and I dont want to lose what we have. I dont know what to expect. I am still in shock

Look deeper than the surface. My bf has been the same way but those little things he does and ways he looks at me tell me everything I need to know. Dont pressure him or ask him anything related to that topic. He simply may not feel comfortable saying it for whatever reason, but he will when the time is right and when he does, the longer it may take, the more satisfaction you will get out of it. Maybe for the time being you can try breaking the ice by saying something else when you feel like saying "I love you." Saying cute things like you care about him or being affectionate to him or giving him that look.