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Thread: Boyfriend doesn't tell girls about me.

  1. #11
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    Keeping you a secret is a huge red flag, OP! You should never, ever subject yourself to this disrespect. Why on earth would you put up with this bullsh*t? And, you put up with this for 1.5 years? Really? It's obvious that he wants to portray himself as a single man to these girls. Think about it. He should be proud to introduce you to his friends, if he truly loved you. There's something sneaky/devious about his behaviour. No doubt there.

    You are not "trying to change his personality and that he thinks I am trying to mold him into a different person." Don't fall for that bs. Muster up some self-respect and walk away from this individual. You'll do yourself a big favour.

  2. #12
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    You are a secret. Why have you allowed any of this? And, 1.5 years! Goof grief!

    Dump this clown, and find someone who loves, respects and is proud of you.

    All of this is really unacceptable. Expect more from your partners! He is twisting all of this, and knows what he is doing is wrong. He is clearly keeping his options open. He does not see a future with you, and is flirting and dating others.

    Get tested!
    Last edited by Hollyj; 05-21-2020 at 11:55 AM.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    Years ago, I met a guy in a bar named Ed.

    Ed gave me two numbers and told me not to call one of them. He explained that his secretary would pick up and that she would get pissed.

    Ed's friend laughed and agreed, and made some odd remark like, "She does his laundry, too."

    I thought it was weird, but I didn't give it much thought because I wasn't looking for a boyfriend. I was exchanging numbers with Ed because he offered to help me shop for a compound bow at the pro shop.

    And he did help me. I got a nice bow with a great set up and a manageable draw and I'm still happy with it to this day. But that's not the point of this story.

    This was back when I was in my 20s and I naively believed that this guy Ed was interested in friendship. He wasn't.

    A month or two after I purchased the bow, Ed called me. It was Valentine's Day and he invited me out. I declined because I was spending time with my boyfriend.

    I was really surprised at the amount of grief Ed proceeded to give me over not coming out. I found it bizarre actually, because we'd hardly communicated at in the weeks since we shopped for the bow. Now he was trying to lay on the guilt really thick.

    Ed's campaign was was effective enough to make me promise to call him the next day. He didn't sound too happy about it, but I wasn't willing to offer more.

    The next day, I called him and it went to voicemail. Since my conscience was somewhat provoked over the previous night's discussion, I called the other number. The forbidden one.

    A girl picked up and I asked for Ed. She said he wasn't available, so I left my name and number.

    Ed called me back literally an instant later, LIVID that I'd called that number! Apparently, the girl I spoke to, the supposed 'secretary,' was his girlfriend!

    I have no idea why he would give me his girlfriend's number and tell me not to call. I imagine he enjoyed infidelity and drama.

    Anyway, Ed and I never spoke again. But I get the impression that his girlfriend was used to his nonsense and that she probably stuck around, poor soul.
    Ed doesn't sound very smart! GF sounds like a fool!

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Ed doesn't sound very smart! GF sounds like a fool!
    Yeah, it was a really weird experience. Didn't make sense to me at all. But it happened, and obwuh can be just like that girlfriend.

    They don't need to be smart to cheat.

    And smart people can be fools, too.

    Don't be that girl, obwuh.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    Yeah, it was a really weird experience. Didn't make sense to me at all. But it happened, and obwuh can be just like that girlfriend.

    They don't need to be smart to cheat.

    And smart people can be fools, too.

    Don't be that girl, obwuh.
    Yes. Self worth plays a big part in what we allow in our lives.

    I didn't get why he gave out that second number. Strange!

  7. #16
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    He says he wants to keep his relationship private from them.
    What a goof! He's trying to keep his options open by not letting on he has a girlfriend. Its YOU who is taking that kind of nonsense. Choose a man who is either proud ot be with you and wants everyone to know, or dump his a$$.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I didn't get why he gave out that second number. Strange!
    I don't either. People like us and people like them will never understand each other. We are different creatures.

    My only guess is that he was a real douche bag and got a kick out of torturing his girlfriend* and girls in general.

    I'm also guessing that he was on some level pleased that I called that second number.

    His friend certainly thought the set-up was funny. I imagine they both got kicks out of tormenting that girl.

    Uggh. You can really tell a lot about someone by the company they keep.


    __________________________________________________ ______________________________________
    * Well, I say "girlfriend," but for all I know she may have been his wife and they may have had kids together.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    He seems immature, not very with it. Someone who has any clue how to treat a partner (but happens to be on the douche-y side) would have had female relationships of all kinds on the side without you knowing about it.

    Take a time out and decide whether you want to be with a man who doesn't treat you the way you treat him.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    What a goof! He's trying to keep his options open by not letting on he has a girlfriend. Its YOU who is taking that kind of nonsense. Choose a man who is either proud ot be with you and wants everyone to know, or dump his a$$.
    Yes, this >>>> "He's trying to keep his options open by not letting on he has a girlfriend." Please wake up, OP, and leave this a**hole.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Count me in as another who says I wouldn't date a guy who kept me a secret either. He wants to socialize even on social media with other females as if he's unattached which is deceitful behavior. He shouldn't be flirtatious and since he is, it's disrespectful to you and his relationship with him. Even if he were to acquiesce and reveal to his female friends that he has you as his girlfriend, you can't control the flirting between him and his social media friends or in person female friends.

    What you need to examine and evaluate is his behavior whenever you're not with him and whenever you're not looking over his shoulder. Real, genuine trust is integrity when no one is looking at him. Most people are on their best behavior or pretend to be good when there are witnesses abound. The true test to one's character is when they're not with you.

    Something about your boyfriend doesn't add up. I agree with others. You need to dump him. He doesn't ring true nor is he sincerely loyal towards you and your relationship with him.

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