goddess

"this has being going on for years" - this is a super huge red flag. Painful as it may be, I would leave him now. He is being totally inconsiderate and very disrespectful. Why would you subject yourself to this awful behaviour? Clearly, he is hiding something or someone. Think about it. As smackie stated, I would have left within a couple of months of dating. Again, do yourself a favour and leave his sorry a**.

Sorry, I meant "red" flag. And a big one.

He's a child, for crying out loud! Leave him alone. I don't care how young you look. Just think of this whole scenario as an ego boost and leave it at that. But, hey, ultimately, it's your decision. Think it through before you proceed any further. IMHO, this screams read flag!

That your #1 mistake, Rb. Do not dwell on the good memories. Yes, that's human nature. I get it. However, that will definitely hinder your progress. Personally, I found that if I thought of all the bad things in my relationship (and wrote them down), it was easier to move on because that made me realise how messed up that relationship was. I hope this makes sense because, as you mentioned, it wasn't a brilliant relationship. That, in itself speaks volumes. Hong in there!

I am so sorry to hear this. So heartbreaking but I also believe that is the best choice. We don't want them to suffer. Sincere condolences. Shay is so beautiful.

I went through the same emotions that you went through, Jimraynorp, but I'm talking about the demise of a 29 year marriage. It will be almost 2 years now that I've been divorced and I still struggle. I don't fully understand why. Like you, I would never go back to the ex. What I struggle with is the fact that he kicked me to the curb. I occasionally throw myself pity parties but then I come to the realisation that I'm so much better off without him. Still, I cannot seem to get passed the fact that he no longer wanted to be with me after all those years. I cannot describe how much that h

Very good point, Holly. If Angela has any close friends or family, their support is invaluable.

I'm sorry for the loss of your dad, and for what you are feeling and going through now. I can speak from experience so I will tell you that what you are experiencing is normal. Yes, it sucks but you are in disbelief and shock. I was married for 29 years and I was blinded sided when he said he wanted a divorce. My world, as you can imagine, fell apart and I felt such despair, grief and heartache. I didn't think I could get through it. You have to process your loss, plain and simple. Easier said than done but it's something that you must go through because you loved him. You are hu

"If you thought she was going to drink and drive you could have just calmly talked to her "hey, how about I drive you home.." I do agree with the other posters in that he should seek help.

"...you have a wonderful relationship--that is very, very valuable." It's not wrong to want a simple dress and a ring. As little girls, we've all dreamt of a wonderful wedding. Be patient, and one day that will happen. And, when that happens you will have the wedding of your dreams. Lastly, congratulations!

Are you planning on answering any of us?

Oh, come on, let's get real here, Austino! She's controlling, verbally and emotionally abusive, and she threatened you >> "She constantly reminds me of how easy it is for her to leave me." Why on earth do you put up with this drama? Yes, I know, you love her. That's not a reason to stay. What you have is a very toxic relationship. You cheated, and I don't condone that, BUT you cheated for a reason. Was it because someone treated you with respect and it made you feel wanted? Whatever the reason, you were unhappy, bottom line. She carries on like this but you have the power to

"I guess you have noticed I have been distant lately...I need to tell you why." This is spot on.

You didn't ruin anything. She gracefully backed out. Give her credit for doing that and hurting you in the least possible way. You just need to respect her wishes and not push her. She's made it crystal clear that she needs to move on, without you (sorry). If she wants, she knows how to find you. Please leave her alone, walk away, and hold your head up high. BTW, I do feel bad for you but some things in life aren't meant to be.