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Thread: Holiday views...

  1. #31
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    They just started dating so scrubbing pots and pans isn't really the issue for them it's that he doesn't believe in Christmas.. Have you considered going out to a nice restaurant Thanksgiving?
    Originally Posted by Cherylyn
    Someone has to cook all the food, someone has to scrub pots 'n pans, someone has to clean up post-meals and I'm certainly not the type of human being to leave a mess for my sister or in-laws to clean up. I'm behind the kitchen sink washing everything and try to be a good sport.

  2. #32
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Where did the OP say he "fights and argues"? She said she hadn't even invited him yet!

    I think this disaster mongering isn't helpful to the OP.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    He’s already gotten me gifts but gave them to me already bc he really didn’t want to give them to me “just because it’s Christmas”. He says “doing things for me on a daily basis like you do is what matters to me. I don’t need Christmas for me to get you things and vise versa”

    Are you dating my first boyfriend?
    My first boyfriend believed "you should be nice all year". Well, one of the days of the week we always saw together happened to fall on Valentine's day. While i was not expecting a gift or anything, i figured we would get together like usual. Maybe just say "happy Valentine's day" and that's it. or grab a pizza like we NORMALLY would have done on that day of the week.

    So...what happened, he refused to see me that day! he said he did't want to do dinner because he doesn't celebrate. I get why someone wouldn't want to go to a fancy restaurant, or go out of their way to go out on a night of the week you normally didn't because one person worked late.

    But to refused to see someone? He didn't see me all weekend so it could not be misconstrued as him celebrating.

    He did give me a chocolate thing he made two weeks later "because i like chocolate and he doesn't celebrate Vday."

    If someone doesn't celebrate Christmas, unless they are Jehovah's Witness, and know you celebrate, they would still wish you a "Merry Christmas". I wish friends well on holidays that i don't celebrate, but that they celebrate. There are Jewish friends who have invited me to Seder in the past, or to their home during Hanukkah and i never said "WELL, here is a book for your kid, i am giving it to you in November to make sure you know i don't celebrate.."

    I have a relative that married into our family whose family didn't celebrate, and they had dinner with us just the same and enjoyed being included in the food and the love. They don't do Santa at their house - and that's fine.

    There is a difference between not celebrating something because of your beliefs, and then there is going out of your way to make sure people know you don't celebrate so you can passive aggressively sit at home and stew.

    i don't know anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas would turn down an invite for dessert. But if they are turning it down, it should not be a speech from them

  4. #34
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    If he doesn't believe in Christmas nor getting together with family, then either compromise somehow or find a new boyfriend who has no qualms getting together with family for special occasions such as the holiday season.

    We're not restaurant people when it comes to Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, grad parties, 80th surprise birthday parties for our great-grandparents, etc. In fact, we only go out for meals once in a while. We're all about home cooked meals at either my or my sister's house when it comes to entertaining a lot of relatives and in-laws.


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