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Everything posted by poorlittlefish

  1. I would be concerned that by saying there are "other people" he's more attracted to, he actually has someone specific in mind. He could well be trying to get you to make his life easier by getting you to break up with him. That way he's free to carry on messing about with this other person/people and the decision was on you.
  2. After 9 months together, if he has any thoughts about his "first choice" at all, it's probably that he would have been with the wrong person and regretted not having asked you.
  3. I find it disrespectful and unnecessary. He can find other women attractive, but he doesn't need to vocalise it. I have managed to get through life without telling any partner that I think other guys are handsome, so just tell him you'd rather he keep comments like that to himself; it's not hard and it's not unreasonable.
  4. 100% this. You were only with the guy for two months, you didn't even see him very often, yet you say, "Every time I cried"? Being so emotional so often, right from the start, would put most people off. His lack of emotion probably meant he wasn't equipped with how to deal with your other extreme. You and he were a bad fit.
  5. If he really loved you and cared about your welfare, he'd take responsibility for himself. He'd proactively get a job (if your country is like the UK there are lots available), he'd proactively get help for his anxiety and he'd be desperate to take some of the financial burden off you. He's happy to sit around, sponging off you while you work yourself into the ground. What does that tell you? He's managed it for the best part of 5 years already. Is this what you want for the rest of your life?
  6. He's told you he loves you and has now used it against you, all within only a month of dating?!
  7. OP, what you've said now makes the situation sound even more horrendous than it already did. I reiterate that she's entitled and manipulative, but I'd add narcissistic into the mix. She wants acts of sacrifice? Her happiness depends on you buying her things and noticing she needs things she could easily get herself? No, no, no. What about YOUR happiness? If a friend said their partner had done everything you've described, would you advise them to stay in the relationship? I very much doubt it.
  8. Your partner's reaction to such a miniscule issue is way off the chart. It's manipulative and childish. If she absolutely must have new glasses of a particular type, then why can't she get online and source a pair herself? She sounds very entitled and demanding and you are paying the price because you are allowing this behaviour. Instead of giving in to unreasonableness, stand up to it and call it out for what it is. She won't like it, but if it doesn't bring her to her senses then it's time to get out.
  9. At six months in, the honeymoon period was starting to wane and things she didn't like were starting to bother her. It happens a lot. Personally I would never date someone who's not divorced, because of some of the issues you describe. She's not over her marriage and is likely feeling bitter. She needs to get her divorced finalised and get her head together before dating again.
  10. Nobody is ever so busy that they can't send a few words on a text message. I mean, you can do that while sitting on the toilet. "Being busy" is not an excuse, because if you are interested then you will make the time. Secondly, it's poor show to simply not respond and hope you'll go away. He could have chosen to let you know (kindly) that he didn't want to pursue anything, but he took the easy way out. He wasn't as bothered as you thought he was, so it's good you don't have to waste any more time on him and are free to look for someone better suited to you.
  11. If you're in the UK you won't get an annulment. Here, pre-nups are not legally binding but they carry influence. I'm guessing you didn't get one? I'm guessing you didn't safeguard your home and finances?
  12. A bit of a pattern forming, then. If you love this girl so much that you want to marry her, why have you still got exes numbers on your phone? When I split up from someone they're deleted. I wouldn't trust you again after your little stunt.
  13. Any advice? Be prepared for this fun to have a detrimental effect on your marriage and/or friendship. Threesomes tend to do that.
  14. I know it might not be the "right" thing to do, but I'd have deleted her number and waited how long it would take for him to ask about it - if he dared. He's kept her number for a reason and that reason is not for getting his marriage back on track.
  15. I had therapy in my last relationship and it really opened my eyes to how much I was being abused and tolerating it. It was like a light bulb moment. From then, as soon as my partner would be rude or disrespectful, I would go home. No second chances. I found the courage to break it off, now knowing how much I had to offer. When he wanted to try again, I said it would be on condition of him getting help to manage his anxiety/behaviour. He did nothing, so he got nothing. It honestly felt so good to state my boundaries and act on them, holding firm. I recommend it!
  16. Tell him you've made it very clear that he should not contact you, say you've kept all the messages and that a further one will result in you reporting him to the police for harassment. Might be enough to warn him off.
  17. So you didn't think to ask your friend how she would feel or let her know you were interested in her ex? You left her to find out by chance? You don't sound like a very good friend and I'm not surprised she's upset with you. How long were you planning on keeping it a secret? Having been in your friend's shoes, it wasn't the fact she was with my ex that was hurtful, but the fact she lied and was deceitful. Good friends don't do that to each other.
  18. Nobody is ever so busy that they can't take a few seconds out of a day - let alone 4 days - to send a simple message. He's not busy, he just can't be bothered. Chalk it up to experience and move on.
  19. Your attitude is really quite concerning. If you're that bothered about losing your virginity and don't care about who it's with (which you've made clear), just go to a hooker and pay for it.
  20. I'd just stop contacting him or responding to his contact. If he comes back from his vacation then you can have a face-to-face conversation and ask what the heck was going on. If he can't give you a straight answer or his explanation seems fishy, at least you'll know you gave it your best shot. His behaviour is off right now and I suspect he knows it.
  21. A true friend wouldn't try and cause issues with you by posting petty comments on social media. A true friend wouldn't send a half-naked photo of herself, especially when she knows there's a girlfriend involved. If your boyfriend can't see for himself that this "friend" is more trouble than she's worth then that says a lot about his value and respect for you.
  22. There's talking to someone and talking to someone. If you're just having a general conversation about the weather or what you watched on TV, then your relationship status is irrelevant. If you're talking to someone and you know there's some attraction, hidden intention or flirting going on then you need to be asking yourself why you would your relationship secret. It's not innocent conversation then, is it.
  23. If he's like that on Twitter then I'd be concerned that the same (or worse) was also going on with Facebook, Instagram etc. It's completely inappropriate in a committed relationship and "boys will be boys" is irrelevant. If you were doing that to him, could you excuse it with "girls will be girls"? Of course not.
  24. Are there any other issues or changes in behaviour within the relationship that give you cause for wondering if he's up to no good? An ex-partner told me he was going to sleep and I spotted he was on WhatsApp a couple of hours later. I messaged him and he lied that he was writing to me, but he was also cancelling dates at the last minute and going awol.
  25. I've lived alone for 10 years since my divorce. I love the peace and freedom and don't know that I'd ever want to live with someone again.
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