poorlittlefish
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poorlittlefish last won the day on November 29 2020
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Are women typically insecure about talking a lot?
poorlittlefish replied to MrNobody1111's topic in Dating Advice
I've been on dates where I've barely got a word in edgways because the guy hasn't stopped going on about himself. Maybe she's had experiences like that, she was surprised it was different with you and now she's second-guessing herself. -
I think you're making a rod for your own back with all these gestures. Your girlfriend may have come to expect them, giving you no way to reduce/stop without upsetting her. It all sounds a bit one-sided, like you feel the need to put her on a pedestal. You are just as worthy of being treated nicely and you shouldn't need to overcompensate to "keep" someone.
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Boyfriend upset about me wanting to be there for my sister
poorlittlefish replied to Kl1018's topic in Relationship Advice
Man ends long-term relationship because he feels that going to the cinema should take priority over a close family member's one-off occasion. How pathetic does that sound? If he'd have been reasonable about it, you could have offered to by tickets to go to the cinema the next night. Instead he acted like a petulant child, throwing his toys out of his pram. You are right not to want to be saddled with a baby when you're only 22 and I think he's done you a favour in ending things.- 20 replies
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In my experience, anyone who cancels a first date is unlikely to be sufficiently interested and won't be reliable. Two times in recent weeks I've had the frustration of someone cancelling or stalling for pretty pathetic reasons and I told them they weren't going to be right for me, just as you did. The difference was that I immediately deleted and blocked them because I no longer have any tolerance for being messed about or listening to excuses. Set better standards for yourself.
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Come along for Losts online dating adventure!
poorlittlefish replied to lostandhurt's topic in Online Dating
@lostandhurt If you search in Match, are you still getting a 'grid' of profiles that you can scroll through? In the UK that seems to have changed (unless I've pressed something inadvertently) and now all you can do is select filters. It presents you with each profile in turn and you have to press the cross or tick individually. For this reason alone, I won't be renewing my subscription. It's all but pointless being on there. -
He doesn't like me going out with others
poorlittlefish replied to AGrPerson's topic in Dating Advice
I also had a semi-similar experience. I went on a first date with someone and he asked if he could see me the following day. I told him I couldn't, he asked if I was going on a date with someone else and I said yes. He just replied to say he hoped I didn't like the other guy and was good-humoured about it. The next morning his dating profile was no longer available and I assumed he'd blocked me. Turns out he was so keen on me that he'd deleted it in the hope I'd choose him. I did, and we had 5 (turbulent!) years together. The OP's date could have responded like mine did, but he chose to respond in a controlling and frankly disturbing way. I'm annoyed for you, OP! How dare he "give you time" or think there's anything to "discuss"? If he's like that after having met you once, I suspect he'll be a whole lot worse if you take it any further with him. -
I'm not sure about there being no parity between the sexes, because I've never sent a "Hi" message and always put effort into keeping the conversation going, commenting about what they've said and using open-ended questions. It feels like 95% of people using online dating sites aren't really interested in meeting someone and just want to boost their ego.
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I always do this and they usually answer what I've asked and stop dead. No comment on anything that I wrote and no follow-up question or comment. It feels like I'm talking to myself, so after a few messages I give up. Even if I ask if there's anything they'd like to find out about me, they just ask "How are you?"
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He's not that into you. If he was, the decision to become official after a more than ample 4 months would have been an easy one. You're not Miss Right, you're just Miss Right Now. He just wants to coast along without any commitment and my bet would be that if someone else catches his attention, he'd be off.
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With the last three I was able exchanged messages with, dates were suggested but they stopped replying when it came to firming up a time and place. It is very hard out there.
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poorlittlefish started following The "Hi" messages
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I have lots about me and my hobbies etc on my profile, including some quirky likes and dislikes, but almost every message I receive just says, "Hi, how are you?" or just "Hi", whether on PoF (free) or Match (paid). If I message someone, I comment on a shared interest and ask them something about it. I've been deleting the one-word messages, but as they're almost all of them, I'm beginning to think I'm the odd one for making more effort. I honestly don't know what to do with one-word messages. Do I just say "Hi" back?
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I left her alone in a dangerous situation
poorlittlefish replied to MurkyIntersection's topic in Trust and Relationships
In a very unusual situation you crossed the road, for a split second forgetting that you were with someone who would have appreciated sharing the umbrella. If you don't wear glasses, you're not to know how they might impact the wearer in heavy rain. Your girlfriend made the choice to get out of the taxi and she made the choice to cross the road without the umbrella. You were a bit thoughtless in the moment and you apologised for it, but it's not like you dragged her across the road or abandoned her in a deserted location in the middle of the night. I am struggling to understand why it's been made into such a big issue. -
Come along for Losts online dating adventure!
poorlittlefish replied to lostandhurt's topic in Online Dating
Everything mentioned about women's profiles and how they interact on dating sites applies to men too. Very often they put nothing about themselves and say, "Anything you want to know, just ask." They include photos that were taken seemingly decades ago. Most messages I receive either say, "Hey!" or "Hi, how are you?", despite my profile saying about me and what hobbies I enjoy. Most of the time they just want to exchange messages and don't suggest meeting. On the rare occasion a guy does suggest a date, we get as far as organising the time, date and venue (usually me having to come up with all three) before he then stops replying. As for the claim that women get 100+ "likes" a day, at the age of 52 that's the stuff of dreams. I've found that the "likes" tend to drop off the longer I use a site and I only get maybe half a dozen a day now. The men sending "likes" almost never send a message and if they do, it's "Hey!" The whole experience is overwhelmingly disheartening.