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Hey ENA!

 

The bf and I decided on a marriage date: March 15, 2020!

 

I kind of need a place to sort out ideas and thoughts, so, thanks for joining me!

 

Firstly: I am Catholic, but not practicing, and he is Jewish, and does observe some holidays. He isn't asking me to convert and he hasn't mentioned getting married in a Jewish synagogue, as he doesn't visit any, so I don't think that this is necessary. He is one of the only people in his family that is Jewish, so he wouldn't get pressure from anyone to include his religion with the marriage.

 

Secondly: in choosing 3/15/20, I realize that this means our marriage date is only 6 months away. We have been loosely talking about if we want a ceremony and reception, or none of those, or to get married by a Justice of the Peace and then have a celebration later down the road. I think we are focusing on that last one, because neither of us really cares to have a bunch of people around to witness the marriage, but we do have a lot of friends and family that would like to celebrate the marriage, and of course we would like to do that, too.

 

 

Thirdly: we live in FL, so even in March, it's going to be hot. We'd ideally like everything to be indoors. There are a lot of beautiful venues in my area, but a lot of them are outdoors (i live in a beach resort area). I'd like to do something different. Neither of us is into churches or reception halls, and that pretty much removes most options. Can someone share some ideas or stories of indoor venues that you enjoyed or thought was cool and fun?

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Congrats! If you guys end up having kids they can be what I self-identify as with my Catholic dad and Jewish mom: a Cashew, a quirky and delicious nut.

 

I've never been married or planned a wedding, but I've been to some unique ones. I'd say just start thinking about places that resonate with you, for whatever reason, rather than simply places built to "host weddings." Some friends of mine, for instance, got married in an abandoned, architecturally exquisite building they both always admired. Think they went into the tax records, found the landlord, made it happen. Was stunning. Was cheap!

 

Maybe there are cool homes in your area? You could do some sleuthing on Airbnb, then reach out to the hosts and see if such an arrangement was doable. As an Airbnb host myself I can tell you that I'm generally open to people thinking about my places outside the box.

 

Anyhow, congrats again!

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Congrats! If you guys end up having kids they can be what I self-identify as with my Catholic dad and Jewish mom: a Cashew, a quirky and delicious nut.

 

I've never been married or planned a wedding, but I've been to some unique ones. I'd say just start thinking about places that resonate with you, for whatever reason, rather than simply places built to "host weddings." Some friends of mine, for instance, got married in an abandoned, architecturally exquisite building they both always admired. Think they went into the tax records, found the landlord, made it happen. Was stunning. Was cheap!

 

Maybe there are cool homes in your area? You could do some sleuthing on Airbnb, then reach out to the hosts and see if such an arrangement was doable. As an Airbnb host myself I can tell you that I'm generally open to people thinking about my places outside the box.

 

Anyhow, congrats again!

 

That's a really good idea! Thank you!

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Happy to help. Chances are you could find yourself in some wildly cool home that would seem eons outside of your price range, were you planning a trip, but that in the annals of wedding planning is downright cheap. Just requires a little poking, some hustling.

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Congratulations! Six months is plenty and I like your thinking as far as celebrating the marriage. Planning a party for later does take some pressure off. We had an amazing ceremony -just wonderful and meaningful -in my inlaws' living room with ten guests then we went to a local restaurant we loved and had the local bakery bake the wedding cake. I wore blue so I could do the borrowed/blue tradition thing and because I was having a boy, which of course was the nontraditional part.

 

So it sounds like you're getting married on the ides of March -cool! We got engaged mid-October, married first week of December.

 

Have fun and enjoy this time!!!

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Congratulations!

 

I like blue's idea of finding a cool home or piece of architecture that isn't normally a place that one would host a wedding.

 

6 months is totally doable... the things that generally take the longest are ordering / finding a dress and planning the venue... otherwise if you plan what you want and then pick away at it daily, you will find that everything gets done and what doesn't won't matter.

 

My wedding was indoor / outdoor in a tiny resort on the island I grew up on, right on the ocean, and was very small, we used a JP because neither of us is particularly religious, and actually had one of our friends do our vows.... the wedding itself was outside, then all the food / dancing etc. was indoors, it worked out well, we had about 6 months to plan.

 

If I got married again? I think I would elope somewhere that was meaningful to both of us, then invite family and friends to have dinner with us at a cute restaurant nearby.

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Congratulations!

 

We have been loosely talking about if we want a ceremony and reception, or none of those, or to get married by a Justice of the Peace and then have a celebration later down the road. I think we are focusing on that last one, because neither of us really cares to have a bunch of people around to witness the marriage, but we do have a lot of friends and family that would like to celebrate the marriage, and of course we would like to do that, too.

 

That's what my friends did, and probably what I would do if I ever got married. They eloped somewhere and then just had a big party at their house. It was nice and simple.

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AAahh I'm so happy for you!! I love it!

 

I think the Justice of the Peace idea is a good idea, especially if you want to save some money and don't particularly care about having all of your loved ones around to see the actual marriage ceremony. It also takes the religious question out of it, since you'd be married in a courthouse, not a church or other religious place.

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Congratulations WithLove! Hope the nuptials will have a fabulous marriage! :D

 

My friend's daughter had her wedding at her aunt's house. It was either catered or potluck. She had a lovely wedding and saved a lot of money. It was cool indoors with A/C.

 

The other option would be to get married by the Justice of the Peace and have a potluck or catered reception in someone's home where it is cool. Do you have friends or family who would be willing to help you host this wedding reception?

 

Since you're Catholic and your fiance is Jewish, would it pose a problem should both of you decide to have children someday? How will the children be raised? Catholic or Jewish? It may not be an issue now but could be should both of you decide to have a family someday. It's something to think about and discuss in advance.

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Congrats!!

 

Some of the museums in my area host weddings. I think they make for really nice photos, especially the museums with interesting architecture or marble staircases. I've actually never been to florida, so I don't know what your museums are like, but it's something to think about.

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Congratulations. Happy planning. You are a bit behind. Most venues book 2 years in advance & some wedding gowns take over a year to make so hop to it & realize your options may be limited.

 

Check out boards that exist for wedding talk. They may help you with an offbeat venue. Some people use museums. A new trend is renting a huge Airbnb mansion & have a "house" party.

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Mine was very simple. We planned it in 6 weeks. I bought my dress off the rack and it fit perfectly. My husband wore his military uniform. We got married in a non denominational chapel. We had the reception at my mom’s house. Everything was indoors because it was too cold and wet in April.

 

10 years later we had our marriage Convalidated in the Catholic Church. We only invited our parents and our siblings . Of course our child and my brother’s children .

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Congratulations. Happy planning. You are a bit behind. Most venues book 2 years in advance & some wedding gowns take over a year to make so hop to it & realize your options may be limited.

 

Check out boards that exist for wedding talk. They may help you with an offbeat venue. Some people use museums. A new trend is renting a huge Airbnb mansion & have a "house" party.

 

Options may be limited for certain venues and certain dresses. Many of my friends planned large receptions in well under a year in major cities. I don't think the OP is behind in the least especially since it seems to me she is flexible on venue and even flexible on when the reception will happen. Personally unless the people are really young or want a specific type of reception that they need to save money for (or are long distance) two years is far too long to wait to get married just so that the reception can be a specific way. That doesn't have to do with getting married -then the focus is just on the party. That's just my personal opinion -some people plan far more for the party than the marriage and for all I know they go on to have awesome marriages. I preferred to plan our married life more than the party (especially since I was in my second trimester when we got engaged LOL with a totally planned pregnancy!).

 

Some wedding gowns can take over a year to make. I would question whether a person really wanted to get married if she delayed a year for a specific gown (with rare exception I guess like a celebrity or royalty lol or a person who insisted on remaking a great grandmother's gown, etc).

 

I really take issue with the opinion (judgment? criticism?) that a future bride is a "bit behind" especially based on the timing put in this post. I don't think the OP's focus is right where it should be (even though it's not for me to say) -she's thrilled to have found the right person, thrilled to be at the stage where they're setting a wedding date, and making the wedding date a priority over what options they may or may not have for a party. Congrats again!!

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Big congrAts! I like the idea of tucking the ceremony into a private affair, then celebrating a done deal with loved ones. I would decide first on the size of your guest list, then you can tailor your choice of location to the accommodate the number of people you'll entertain.

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Thank you everyone for the well wishes!!

 

We did decide on the Ides of March, because we started dating on "Remember Remember the 5th of November", lol. So we thought it would be pretty funny to pick another "historical day".

 

My mom is just full to bursting with excitement. It's so cute. We had a family birthday thing this weekend and I asked her not to say anything because I didn't want to detract from the birthday festivities, she told me she had to really concentrate on not just blurting it out!

She offered her back yard as a ceremony and reception space. I will consider it, but my initial thought is to veto - she has plants and trees dotting the yard sporadically, so there's not really any cohesive "blank space". And her home is actually quite small, and her AC struggles already, so ultimately, I feel like it would be a really big burden on her house (not her).

 

I did try to talk to the bf over the weekend about what all he would like (lots of guests, ceremony/reception or just a big celebration, etc) and he told me that he hasn't really thought of the logistics. I gently reminded him that a lot of places need months if not years to take reservations, so the quicker we agree to what we want to do, the better it'll turn out. He is going to make a list of things he'd like and we can decide from there.

 

 

I spent the weekend looking at Airbnbs like Bluecastle suggested, and it turns out that my state has a ton of options. There are even places that have little farms with goats, alpacas, and goats!! I think they sound fun, but I'm pretty sure my family would think it was weird, lol. I kind of thought of booking a house that has a bunch of rooms and spaces available for people to crash for a weekend. There are some houses that are huge and have 6, 7, 8 bedrooms, plus the entire house. Of course these for go $300-$800 for a night, but think renting them out for, say, a Friday - Sunday, where it includes all the amenities of a house... well, I feel like it would still be cheaper than a venue that goes for thousands of dollars for a few hours. A lot of bigger houses like that have pools, so we could do a BBQ and pool party thing with a bunch of family and friends? And there was a handful of places like this that had large, private backyards, too. I could ask if they were equipped to handle wedding ceremonies. Idk, it's a thought.

 

 

Another option is to have our parents join us for a ceremony at the courthouse, and then rent out a space somewhere for a celebration. We have too many family members and friends between us to have it at a normal-sized house.

 

 

But I do like the idea as well of just taking off for a couple days, or like a week, and going somewhere private.

 

 

 

Someone asked if our religions would be an issue with children: we do not want children. Just lots of dogs.

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Would your religions be a an issue with furbabies???? Just kidding ;-)

 

I'm so glad you're having fun with the planning and your mom's bursting with the news is just great.

Love why you chose the Ides of March.

How about just plan the wedding and on the appointed day "surprise" your fiancee - I mean it's been done with a surprise wedding even when the couple was not engaged -so I heard -so, that's an option lol.

 

I do like the idea of farm animals (especially since they will not be in your mother's house given the AC issuses ;-)

 

Your post is so fun and lighthearted!! Enjoy!

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We've decided! He wants to go to Disney World. Luckily we live just a few hours away, so we're going to rent an Airbnb for March 14, 15 & 16, a big enough one where we can have a bunch of people come over for a BBQ that Saturday, and then do a ceremony in the backyard on Sunday morning. Then we will spend a few days going to some theme parks!

 

 

Feels good to have an idea in mind.

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We've decided! He wants to go to Disney World. Luckily we live just a few hours away, so we're going to rent an Airbnb for March 14, 15 & 16, a big enough one where we can have a bunch of people come over for a BBQ that Saturday, and then do a ceremony in the backyard on Sunday morning. Then we will spend a few days going to some theme parks!

 

 

Feels good to have an idea in mind.

 

Wonderful!!! The second time I was in Disney in the 1990s was when they started having weddings there -I know you're not going to have it at one of the hotels but your post reminded me. That sounds like an awesome plan!!

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