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WithLove

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Everything posted by WithLove

  1. I've been pretty much out of commission since getting let go - sleeping all day, up all night, sending in dozens of applications and resumes to things I'm not even interested in... until last week. K sat me down and told me that if I need to wait to find something that I know I'll enjoy, that I feel I'm good at, then we will be okay (financially). He just wants me to be happy with my choices, whatever they are, and he will do anything I need in order to make that happen. I don't deserve this man. I'm going to be a really sh***y wife.
  2. That's really sweet. I know this doesn't compare in any way, but I had a beloved dog that grew up with me that passed away when I was 17. He was 17 also. I loved him so much and it really broke me when he passed because it was kind of in a traumatic way, and I've never felt right about it (just that I didn't get there to see him in time, he passed due to old age). Anyway, ever since then, whenever I am feeling really awful and have had a lot of stress going on, he comes to me in dreams with such clarity that even in my dream, I recognize that he's there to give me peace and calm - like, whatever is happening in the dream will come to standstill when I see him again. This has happened probably half a dozen times since he passed. In my dream I always know why he's there, and it makes me acknowledge that I'm in a bad place, so it definitely helps me do self improvement afterwards, because he only ever visits when I need him. I always tell my mom when he comes, because she really loved him, too, and wishes he would come visit her. We don't deserve dogs.
  3. What kind of foodie shows are you into? My guy really likes Master Chef and I've been pulled into watching it with him a time or two.
  4. It sucked. We started a new marketing campaign over the summer and it tripled our business, but upper management didn't hire additional help to handle the increased case load. We had 6 case managers and I handled all of their closed cases alone. I just couldn't keep up with my workload. I worked overtime, I signed up for On Call shifts as an excuse to work from home, I even worked from home off the clock on weekends. I did everything I could to meet their expectations and just couldn't. It wasn't really possible for me to, and I think they realized it afterwards, because two days later, the senior partner called to tell me that he was paying me for the remainder of the week and giving me a small severance. He also stated I could use him as a professional reference. All of that was nice, but I wish they would have just offered me my job back with plans in place to help me succeed. I really enjoyed my job and working for the firm. The worst part, of course, is needing to start over again. It's been about 10 days now and I've submitted new applications every day, but haven't gotten any responses yet. Fortunately, for the first time, I'm in a relationship where my not finding work right away won't completely wreck us, but of course we're going through with the wedding and I my mom raised me to work no matter what. So when I'm not working, I just feel like I'm worth nothing. Hopefully something happens soon. K has already gotten upset with me because now that I don't have insurance, I've been stretching my meds to make them last, so of course it makes me moody since I've only really been taking them every other day. It's just something I've had to do in the past to make financial ends meet, and it became habit. I've started taking them regularly again. I've also completely stopped doing WW and exercising. I got a bad cold a few weeks before being let go and then I was let go, so I've been in a health rut for weeks. Some days are worse than others. K doesn't know how to motivate me without me taking it as "you're getting fatter", I think, so he doesn't try. He will suggest going out walking together, but then by the time he gets home from work, it just doesn't happen. He cooks healthy meals, but he can't control what I eat when he isn't there. I'm like a kid and I eat all the bad things when he isn't around. If he didn't see me do it, then it's like it didn't happen. This behavior is pretty toxic, I know, but I'm trying to be honest to myself and you guys. Of course he knows it's happening, but he's too kind to give me tough love.
  5. Things aren't good. I got fired from work last week. It's a thing I'll describe later. Wedding stuff is still happening but I've been kind of disinterested in it for right now. K understands. He's been so good.
  6. I'd give a lot to have a personal pool. I broke my ankle in January and although physical therapy helped a lot, I still have a lot of aches and pains. Having the ability to swim to ease those would be awesome.
  7. I'm late to the party! Happy Birthday! I haven't interacted with you long, but I like what I've read. I hope you'll stick around.
  8. OP, she may have had those experiences, but she ultimately chose you. You are worth more to her than random hookups and such. That can be a pretty powerful feeling.
  9. Oh we definitely aren't stressing over it! My mom already volunteered to just make cookies if we can't get the cake thing figured out (and I loooove her cookies), and with cookies you don't really need to stress over making them the day before or the same day. And we have other catering options that would work out. And the invites can still be used. We honestly don't really care - we just want to stand up there together to say "I do" and then eat with a bunch of our friends and family after. And I do want to wear a nice dress and see him in some nice clothes. He looks so handsome when he's professionally dressed and I just love being on his arm when he's got a tie on! He so handsome I found a really pretty ivory-colored "garden" dress. It goes a little past the knees and it has a layer of champagne/blush fabric under it. It just looks lovely and I think I'm going to buy it this weekend to see the fit etc. There's plenty of time to send it back if it turns out that I don't like it as much when it's on.
  10. So okay, when I was 18, I did this exact thing. I settled with a dude that was a few years older than me, but never wanted to have sex, EVER. The relationship lasted for 3 years and it sucked so bad. You are better than this!!
  11. Our invitations came in and they aren't the right color. They appear to be *close* to our color when viewed in photos, but to the naked eye, they are much different. Bf contacted the company yesterday to see what they would say - we are prepared to keep them regardless, as they are still attractive and quite nice, just not "our color" - and the agent believes that there was a printer error. They are redoing and sending us new ones for free. We went to a cake tasting on Sunday, and while the cakes were delicious, we ran into issues with the event planner. She wasn't the same one we had when we initially spoke to this company, and basically we were told that all of the things we wanted weren't possible because "they just don't do that", even though the first event planner gave us a bunch of different options. It felt like they were just stuck in their policies/procedures and refused to accommodate us. And really, what we want is not complicated - a flat sheet cake in our colors with a design similar to our wedding invites (even if not the entire cake, just the middle or a portion of it). I called the company today and spoke with our original event planner, and she was shocked at the experience we had with the other one. She asked me to come in to discuss further. And we really wanted to go with this company, because they are a local grocery store chain that can cater as well, so we could just do everything through them. But if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. I guess even little weddings don't always run smoothly. But some good news: we are going to have just my Maid of Honor and his Best Man, no other bridesmaids or groomsmen. I found this really pretty card that has a heart on it that you scratch off (like a scratch-off lottery card) and underneath it says "Be My Maid of Honor?" I mailed it to my cousin yesterday with just a quarter taped inside, nothing else. Hopefully she gets it, lol! I also have a friend that is ordained and will be our officiant, but I found the same card with "Will you marry us?" instead and I'll mail her that soon.
  12. It doesn't really matter when you changed your mind - what matters is that you changed it, period. You don't want intercourse and that's fine. What about other sexual acts? Are you totally against anything at all? If you are, or you're too busy, too tired, etc and you just don't want anything at all, you need to be honest with him. It's not right for him to pressure you into these things, but neither is it okay for you to expect him to remain in this "relationship" without meeting him wants and needs - a relationship without sexual connection is just a friendship.
  13. All I want is to marry my guy and figure out a way to buy a house with a big yard for a bunch of dogs. I'll race you in our dream pursuits!
  14. April is only 7 months away. Keep the job and reach your goal. Whenever you have "I hate being here" thoughts, just remember that it's only temporary!
  15. I had ice cream for the first time last night in months, and I can't believe how much it's wrecking me. Ugh
  16. I would just like to mention that at 18, he is in a totally different frame of mind and stage of life than you. I very much doubt that he wants the same things you do, or even thinks about those things. But if you still want to get to know him on a strictly platonic basis, having him on your Discord server might be cool. You could game together that way. But keep in mind that not only are you seeing him at work, you will then be interacting with him during your free time, so you'll be communicating with him a whole lot. Try to remain friendly and professional.
  17. Here's a nice one for you! A few members on here have read my dating journal and may remember J, the guy I dated for about 4 months before my now bf. Met him on OLD and we had a pretty good relationship. He told me initially that he was fine with no kids, didn't have any, etc.... well, what ultimately ended the relationship was when he admitted to me that in fact he loved children and wanted to be married and have them more than anything, and that he didn't tell me initially because he didn't want "us" to end (and probably wanted to see if I changed my mind). We parted amicably and remained social media friends, and he just announced that his current gf is pregnant with a daughter. He's over the moon, and I'm also very happy for him. :)
  18. I'm cracking up at these!!! I had a date with someone from OLD. We met at an ice cream parlor as the first meet up, and then walked around the shopping center for awhile after. I wasn't really feeling him, but allowed the kiss that came at the end, and his beard/mustache combo was so scratchy that I legit had a small "burn" from it! I was nice and went on another date with him before I decided that I wasn't into it for real.
  19. My parents haven't really offered any support and I haven't asked. K and I are more financially stable than they are. We're paying for this on our own.
  20. YOLO! You can always come back to family.
  21. Mine was $500 and it was designed for me! You can get great deals! Given her work, she would probably be into a ring that fits close to her skin, without large stones or pointy bits. Maybe you can search for options like that?
  22. Honestly, I was pretty bummed about the feedback about the No Host dinner. I honestly would not mind at all to get an invite like that, as I never presume to know someone's finances, and it shocked and bummed me out about knowing that people would consider not going just because they have to pay for a meal. In light of that, I told bf that I think we should cater. My father told me over the weekend that some extended family "would be devastated" that I did not invite them. They are aunts and uncles of his that I see once every 5-10 years, so I did not intend to invite them; but Dad told me that since they are getting old, they can't travel as often, and they would use it as a reason/opportunity to get together with family, and I should let them do that. Which is fine, but.... I'll be paying for them to do that (with food etc). So, the guest head count has increase to like 60.
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