TeeDee

It sounds like this woman is so desperate for friendship & human contact that she will do anything for approval. If she is on the spectrum she probably doesn't understand that she is over stepping. You need some boundaries. Don't talk to her every day. Tell her point blank that her next trip is inconvenient for you, that if you are around you will do certain things with & for her but not everything. When you do talk encourage her to broaden her social circle. You don't have to start by cutting her off completely but you must power down & lower your contact.

Your husband is doing this on purpose. He knows you will eventually pick up the slack. So stop. If he lets stuff slide, don't fix it. Let the lights get turn off because he didn't pay the bill. If your son wants his license, send him to dad to get this scheduled. Stop making it your responsibility

You two are young. Alas the relationship may have run its course for her. She just started working. Whole new worlds are opening up for her & the childhood BF may have lost his luster. It happens. Most people do not end up with their childhood sweethearts. Give her a little bit of time & space. In a month or so shoot her a hello thinking about you message. See how she responds. Maybe send her a Merry Christmas message but if you are not back together by New Years you have to assume it's fully over.

She wasn't flirting. She was pressure to go on the trip & to fit in when she was there. She had been drinking & if she was drugged it lowered her inhibitions. She's blaming herself which is why she is asking for forgiveness. She's doing the coulda, shoulda, woulda to herself berating herself for going on the trip, for having a drink for doing anything other than going to her own room & locking the door. Lots of rape victims, especially those who know their attacker, think it's their fault. Your wife didn't cheat. She was attacked

You encouraged your wife to go on this trip when she didn't want to. Knowing what a jerk this boss was, I can't say I'm surprised this happened. He sounds like the type. You dismissed her intuition that this trip was a bad idea & look what happened. Now your wife tells you that she is the victim of a crime. Instead of supporting her & offering rape crisis counseling you are victim blaming & talking about divorcing her. Good grief. You should tell her you love & that you are very sorry for not trusting her. Then you need to encourage her to go to the police or at least talk to a rape crisis counselor. See if you can get her to talk to an attorney too. She has grounds for a personal injury case & an sexual harassment case based on the assault. Do not let her quit until you talk to the lawyer; sometimes if you quit you can't sue. But do tell her you support her decision to never go back to that job again. Finally, get her some real therapy.

Break ups hurt. That is the nature of the beast. He will survive. You can't stay with him out of pity

It is very manipulative but you can't drag your kid into your EX's drama.

Healing takes time. You are not going to get over a 3.5 year relationship in a day. Step 1: give yourself some time to grieve. You had a loss. Even if logically breaking up was for the best that doesn't make it hurt less or erase his absence Step 2: redecorate Move some things around in your place. Get new curtains or some throw pillows or art work. Do something inexpensive to make it look different. Step 3: stay busy. Work overtime. Take on a new side hustle. Dive back into an old hobby or take up a new one. Step 4: self soothe. If you are hurting acknowledge your feelings. Surround yourself with supportive friends & family Step 5: reinvent yourself. Take a new route to work. Avoid places you always went with him. Get your hair cut. Buy a new outfit.

She was younger when you two were together. Now that she's older & had the experience of a sexual relationship with you, she has a more causal attitude toward sex. It's about her growing a person & her decision to have sex with some guy years after you two broke up has NOTHING to do with you. Hell no! It's none of your business. Asking her would be so rude & inappropriate. The fact that you even know about what she's doing now, is odd, invasive & kind of creepy. No. You were desirable enough for her to have a relationship at some point. Then things changed. The end of that relationship doesn't make you undesirable in general. It only means that your relationship with her no longer worked. She's not the arbiter of how all women think & feel. Most people think Brad Pitt is so handsome. He never did anything for me. Because I do not find him desirable, do you think he should give back his sexiest man alive awards? Therapy. See below. Get the therapy. You haven't done therapy so you have no idea how beneficial it will be. The therapist will not judge you. The therapist will help you improve your life & bolster your self esteem. Chemotherapy is expensive too but you'd get that medical care if you had cancer. Psychotherapy is medical care. Stop stigmatizing yourself & work with a competent mental health professional to address your needs.

There is no sense in staying in a dating relationship that is unfulfilling. If you were married with 2 kids I'd tell you to work harder to fix it but you are in college. Go have fun.

Of course she can & should but most women aren't wired that way. We are socialized to be nice, not confrontational which can cause problems like the one above. The husband is also the one on here asking for advice. I can't tell somebody who is not here what to do. I can only address the person who is here The wife is trying to be polite to the husband's buddy while that guy is behaving like a cad to put it mildly. He may mean nothing by it & is just a tactile flirtatious guy but because his behavior is making others uncomfortable, his behavior needs to stop. If the husband hasn't expressed his concerns to his wife, she may think she needs to continue being nice to this jerk so as not to disrupt her husband's friendship.

Men are visual creatures. They like to look. Your BF looking at images does not mean you are not enough. You are making this more than it is.

Shyness can be overcome. It's a skill. I'm not saying you have to be the life of the party but if you can make eye contact with somebody, nod your head in acknowledgement & maybe eeek out a "hi!" you have the start of something. Everybody is so hung up on being scared or shy or wrong that nobody is brave enough to break the ice. If you can manage to do that you will put the other person at ease & they will be grateful.

It's time to talk to your daughter about commitment. Explain she made plans to have a party with her cousins & people went to a lot of trouble to make that happen. She can't just drop that because something else came up at the last minute.

He is definitely dangerous but it sounds like your wife is well aware of what he wants. Do tell her that he makes you uncomfortable & that after this cruise you would prefer to put some distance between all of you. On the cruise do not let him walk with your wife. Ask her to decline his invitations. If he moves near her, intervene.