eterna2

Avoiding a problem doesn't solve it. And try not to think too much, one problem at a time is enuff. A part of living is to die. Everyone dies eventually. Some young, some old, some expectedly, some unexpectedly. Why are you afraid? Why are you sad? Because he is leaving u? Or becuz he is suffering? or is it because of urself? He is the one who is doing the dying (pardon me if I'm abit harsh), not you. Why are you afraid? Why are you upset? Because of the loss of him? Dun u think that is a trifle selfish? Do u wish him to die alone, uncomforted? As I have said before, thing comes and goes. Accept and be there for him. Let him leave in peace, try to make his last moments as peaceful as possible. It is unimportant that you are sad, unimportant that u feel u can't take it. Unimportant. The only thing is HIM. Make him as comfortable as possible, make him smile, make him remember joyous memories, let him know you are beside him. The rest are unimportant. Show him that u care. Partings are sad, but dun make it into a tragedy that the one who leaves can't leave in peace, and the one who stayed a broken soul. Peace.

ya, ye are very troubled soul. I can't really advice on what to do, cuz for everything, there is a choice and a consequence. When u choose, u have to accept the consequences. But what i can tell u is. U gotta get out of this vicious cycle. Maybe u shld seek professional counselling. If u dun wanna, u shld try to sort out ur feelings. Ask urself honestly why do u feel so troubled, so sad? what is the cause, and over what are ur feeling sad. Can u solve the problem? How do u solve the problem? Do u really wanna continue this way? Try to see the world in a different perspective? The word do not revolves around u. U re part of this world, as is everything else. Imagine urself in a vast universe, and there are million and millions of things around u. Everything is forever in motion. Some will drift within a handspan. Grab it and smile. But some will forever beyond ur reach. Admire and smile, then move on. And some which is within ur grasp, just slip away. Smile and let it go. Thank it for the time it has spent with u. There are a million things in this world. Some will come and some will go. Smile, be happy.

Well, this is my 2 cents as a guy. I think he is kinda insecure and unsure of himself. Think he is in quite a bad state. He is confused of his emotions, of what he wanted. He is not sure if u are the right one for him. In short, I think he is in a tangle. May need some counselling, and some time to untangle his feelings. But from what u said, I think he is trying to hide in his shell, avoiding the problem. I really dunno what to advice u, cuz there is no clear cut right or wrong. It can go anyway. good or bad. U can either be supportive, advice him, help him untangle his knots, or just be plain supportive, ask him to go for counselling. I think his past may be plaguing him. or, you can just let him go. Either way, even if u r really supportive, he may not improve, he may not return ur love. U must understand that, if u tries to help, he may not appreciates it, and u may be hurt in the end. u just have to weight what u wanted urself. Just remember, there is always risk of hurt. Remember and try to hope for the best, everything else is a bonus.

No medicine, no one else, only time and urself can make the pain dull and eventually fades away, leaving behind a little scar in ur heart. There is actually nothing wrong in what you did, nor him. No one is at the wrong. It is just that, you are being true to urself and he too. He found that he can't imagine accepting u as u are, and so, a break up may be a better thing. Forcing yourself to change or act in a way that is not natural to urself, or wanting him to accept when he couldn't, brings nothing but sorrows. He had made his choice, you have not. Let it go. You are still young, its a wide world out there. Smile, and just treat it as a bittersweet memory. Do not let the pain make the scar a ugly one. Smile and let the hurt fades and dull into a beautiful little scar. Cry it out. Cry it out. But once you have done crying. Smile and move on. Try not to think about it anymore. The more ur think will only make u feel worse. Its a vicious cycle. And meanwhile, give urself some space. It would be good if u try not to see him, or remind urself of him for the next few weeks, until u feel better. Can't really help much. Just try not to dwell in it. Go out with friends, do things u really like. Just keep him out of ur tots. A few weeks, the hurt would dull, just dun dwell in it. If u keep thinking and dwelling, u will only sink deeper. Smile and laugh at, with this crazy world. If u dun feel, then what's the meaning of living? If u dun feel sad, what do u noe of happiness? Just cheer up. Dun cry too much. Calm urself when u feel u have cried enuff. And let it go. For different pple, they have different ways of letting go. Try smiling, time will hugz and make u well again. HUGZ!

it not childishness, just tat u're shy. The first time is always like tat. Just puck up some courage and start. U may fumble and make a fool of urself the first few times. But practice makes perfect. After a few times, ye should get it. ye, just need to get started. Just take the first step. If u make a fool of urself, then so be it. No one are gonna laugh at u. Only yourself. lol

well, in almost the same soup as ye in jimyer. haha but, oh well. U dun really have to wait for her full time. be available but waiting. tat means, if someone else happens to pass by, by all means grab the chance. Meanwhile, while ye is waiting for someone to pass by, ye can wait for her too.

Sure thing. np at all. Just cheer up, and relaz. Try not to think too much, just enjoy whatever tat comes ur way. hope can be a good thing and a bad thing. Just try not to expect or hope too much, and treat every single small happy things that occurs as a bonus. If ye treat life too seriously, ye brain would explode from the sheer vol of data. but I aren't tell u to play a fool, just take things more lightly, just let it be. Grab whatever u can, but if some just happen to drift pass u beyond ur reach, smiled and accept the fact. Then return ur glance back to those within ur reach. cheers and stay free!

I was pretty much suicidal to start with, and after I got dumped, stomped and pretty much abused both in pride and esteem, I was pretty much thinking about suicide all day long. Surf the net, read alot of stuff on it. Joined some support groups. It helps. Having friends around helps. (PS: Just dun find those pessmistic friends or depression group, they just made me feel even worse, join something more light hearted, or meaningful) Everytime a suicide tot accross ur mind, remind urself why do u wanna life? remind urself of ur parents, how much effort they had put into u, and how sad they would be if u die just like tat. remember ur good friends, and the things u love, u like to do, to eat. remember life is beautiful and if u re dead, u can enjoy life no more. It is always hard initially, particularly coupled with numerous other problems. If after a month or more, u re still feeling suicidal, u may need a professional's help and maybe so anti-depression, cuz tat means there is a chemical imbalance in ur brain, cuz of ur depressing tot u keep thinking of. Try to cheer and let go. Mediation, yoga helps too. Spend some time think it thru, on why are u feeling sad, why do u wish to kill urself? mediate on these, write them down. And one by one, come with terms with them and let it go. Try to untangle the reason of these unhappiness. Imagine them to be like barbs stuck onto urself. Examine urself closely and find all these barbs. Untangle each and everyone of them, and let them go. Let the wind blow them away from ur hand, away from u.

If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional - only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain. I don’t know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you’re reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this. I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won’t argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad. Well, you’re still reading, and that’s very good. I’d like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you’re at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let’s hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes. Start by considering this statement: “Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.” That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could. Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “that’s not enough to be suicidal about.” There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain. When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources. You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible. Now I want to tell you five things to think about. 1 You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope. 2 Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, “I will wait 24 hours before I do anything.” Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it’s just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you. 3 People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead. 4 Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you. But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what’s going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try: Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S. Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999 Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line Call a psychotherapist Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen But don’t give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance. 5 Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet. Well, it’s been a few minutes and you’re still with me. I’m really glad. Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten...! until they outnumber your sources of pain. Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won’t be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It’s time to start looking around for one of them. Now: I’d like you to call someone.

yeah. I think u're in a more sticky mess than i. U really shld start deciding, and perhap stop it before it becomes a BIGGER mess. I dunno, but got a bad feeling if this goes on. Once the cat is out of the bag, think is will be very bad for u, her and her family. Best put a FULL STOP. Period. Anyway... just maybe kinda update... I got something like an online diary. A public one and a private one. I mostly writes my thoughts on the world and how pple shld live in the public one. And the private one, are mostly my "real" diary, where I write all my stuffs, etc... Got kinda password before anyone can read it thou. And I wrote a riddle to the password. well, she guessed it, and asked if she can read my diary. do u think i shld let her read?? cuz... er... I wrote alot of stuff about how pretty she is, how much I like her, etc etc...

well, I'm a younger version of you. Loner. Only had 1 gf in my life. Treated like doormat all the way, just got dumped and now all alone staring at my monitor day in day out. Can understand u, about the fantasy. I'm not tat stage yet thou. But dun feel down. You are showing signs of low self esteem. That's a no no. It's a vicious cycle, and it will only make u worse and drive pple away from you. Sometimes I find talking to most pple boring too. It is not tat conversation is boring. Ye, just tat ye have yet to find someone that "click" with you. Look at ur own interest and hobbies, go join those groups that suit ur hobbies, likes, etc. For example, me, I find most pple boring cuz I have no interests in soccer, baseball, cars, or any things most guy like, so I find it hard to hold any conversation with them at all. Find it boring, but I like spiritual, poetry, art, etc, and find it ez to talk and mix with pple of my nature. So i guess, u just need to mix in the right group of pple, and naturally will find yourself opening up. As for finding a soulmate, well, u can't really force this sort of thing, but ye can't be passive either. As i previously said, join some groups, online or otherwise, tat suit u and make more friends, particularly those u find that u feel ez and natural with. Dun have to think on relationship, more like finding friends that are in similar or compatible nature with u. Go out and have some fun. Dun think too much on getting a gf and seeing every girl as a "target", cuz most pple will sense it and it reflect very negetively on u. Just join a group with an aim of having fun, making friends. And u nv know, u might just find that someone. If fate comes knocking, just grab it, if not, just relaz, it will come eventually. In short, there is totally nothing wrong with u. Just need to get out more and mix with ur type of pple. Smile more, and be more confident of urself. PS: I was slightly autistic, and very very shy. I dun like strangers much, but I'm working on it. It is a challenge everyday, but you must have this tot that you can't stay this way all ur life. Make difference, start NOW!

bummer... haha thanks... actually knew the answer, just needed someone to say it aloud... thanks some times it can't be helped... haha cuz u see, I'm kinda those sort tat always get left out and ignored. well and she is one of those very few nice pple who cared.

well, I'm not a girl. But well, since it is a communal event. U can just walk over and intro urself, and ask about what she thinks or why, etc etc, basically anything about this event. well, seriously, other than this, I can't really think of any other ways, unless u wanna her to take the initiative. luck dude! no risk no gain, ye just need to bum around a few and u nv know u might just get lucky. just dun bum around like a bull in heat, bum with style. lol

Just have a sticky problem. U see, I liked this girl about 3.5 years ago. Secretly admired her for 1 years. We are friends then, but not really close or anything. Then one fine day, I can't stand it anymore and popped her the qns. Well, i made a fool of myself. She very nicely told me she has a bf alreadi and is very happy currently. Well, understandably, I was utterly flabberghasted and tomato red. She said she dropped alot of hints, but guess I'm pretty blockhead. But still we remains friends. Good friends but not really close. Then recently, I broke up with my gf. well, to be acurrate, I was dumped, stomped and crushed. And all these years I was with my gf, I kinda neglected my friends. Anyway, I din't noe wat happened to the her all these times. But no idea why, suddenly, we are kinda back in touch. (kinda lost touch with her) chatted alot, and joked alot. Still good friends and still not close friends. But she really helps alot in the healing process. And I found tat, after all these years, I still like her alot. But me, being a blockhead. I dunno wat to do. cuz I dunno what happened to her all these years, and she nv tells me either. I tried asking her out, kinda, but guess I'm pretty thick. I nv might to get her out. No idea is tat a hint or she is really busy? SOmetimes it is hard being such a blockhead. I prefer a direct answer. But do u think it is silly to pop the qns twice? I'm really afraid of getting the same answer again. And I dun really noe if she will be my friend still, cuz i'm afraid she thinks I'm pester her. oh well, the curse of blockheadedness

yeah, u really shld do tat. I was played a fool for 2 years, and it aren't a good feeling. Tell her before she falls deeper, like me. And it aren't a eazy hole to climb out. I'm still climbing, but I'm slipping far more than I'm ascending. It aren't a good feeling. Gave too much, trust too much, now, it made me hard to trust anyone any more.

Just stop thinking of her, and what it might have being. Crush all hopes. Just forget her. I know it is hard, I'm going thru the same thing as you. Only mine is not just cold to me, she does all sort of cruel things to me, even thou I love her dearly. I still do love her. And hope. But I know that will only prolong the suffering, cuz I know all these are false hopes. She doesn;'t love you anymore. Just let it go. Ask urself honestly, do you think there is a chance? If not, crush all ur hopes. False hopes only make ur suffering worse. Stop thinking of her. Dun see her, dun do anything tat reminds u of her. Stop talking to her. Just treat tat she never existed. I dun not mean forever, but for a period of time u decided for yourself. You need time to come to terms with the breakup. Pestering her and thinking of her will only worsen ur condition. Find a day, and tell yourself aloud, you will not think of her, will not see her, will not hope, until you find your peace. Initially it is hard. U just keep thinking of her. I dreamt of her every night, the breakup almost every night. Just keep replaying. But after sometimes, if you force yourself to ignore and forget her. It gets better. Time will slowly dull the pain. Now, after 6 mnths, I only dreamt of her like once a month. And it doesn't hurt so much anymore. I have not seen or spoken to her for the past 6 months. Time really heals. You just need to decide when to start healing.

Thanks It is just tat everything I does everyday reminds me of her. Cuz we almost share the same hobbies and passions. Find it hard to pick up my brushes and stuff, cuz they remind me of her. But I guess I'm better now. Spend a lonely new year eve. Time really do dull the pain, as long as I dun think of her. just feel kinda lonely. Thanks anyway.

just go for it if u like him, just dun go so far. u noe, it is very hard for most guys to know how a girl would react. And some would need a mighty BIG hint and boost of courage, particularly if u are his first gf. especially if u are his first. well, u can try dropping a VERY VERY obvious hint, before u take the initiative.

Happy late new year! Be happy. I've being spending every single new year eve, christmas day, birthday, practically any holidays alone at home in front of my pc (since I have one, before tat I just stare at the window) since I was 7. My last bday party was when I was 7. 24 now, still alone and bored. Not much friends to say of, hardly anyone one care if I'm dead or alive except when they need my help (other than my parents and bro). So I'm all alone, and predicting to be so for the next few decades or so, until maybe I die of some silly sickness. (My health aren't really good and I doesn't really care either). hahhaa just writing for myself too. Sometimes life's such a chore. Sometimes sad, why do I always have to write a sad poem for myself on my bday. All alone. Ha. Some are popular some are not. I'm neither. I'm just nice to have around, but no one ever notice me, always got left behind. Tried a few times, no one ever notices I'm not around anymore. Forgot that they left me behind. Alone. Cuz they too bz enjoying themselves. So I walk alone. And maybe I die alone. But I have the sky and the earth to accompany me. Peace.

Allo everyone! seem like everyone here has his or her share of problems... well, wish the best for everyone... sometimes, everyone need to let out once in a while... and now i'm just rambling so tat i can feel better for at least a short while... well, my problem is just about the same as everyone else... it now slightly over 1/2 a year since she dumped me... and i'm feeling just as bad as the day she spoken the words ... it wasn't a very amicable breakup... it was very hard to keep my cool, so proud of myself tat i did not retort at all when she threw all those #%$#%$#%# at me, especially when she is the one who DUMPED me... but although i noe, i tat i shldn't say thing in a heat of emotions as i will surely regret it later... it doesn't make me feel better... i still have this tempting itch to slap her and throw her words back at her... and i got this urge to beat up her new bf I'm trying so hard to calm down and control myself. but even after more than 6 months, it still hurt. I lost lots of weight, > 30% underweight now... no mood for everything, i hardly pick up my pencils anymore (i used to draw and write), basically, i just rot away everyday... bit by bits... read alot of stuff on how to heal a broken heart and such... but just can't do... i just can't find the courage to let go... and it is killing me slowly, bit by bit... my life suffers, my grades drops... i can't focus at all... just staring blankly everyday... maybe some day, i would get better... i truly hope so... i just need the courage to let go... but u always have this nagging feeling, hoping tat some day she would change her mind... but i noe, it can't be... cuz she is as stubborn as an ass... u can squeeze blood out of rock before u can change what she had decided... i think she handled it very badly ( i went to check against a checklist of do and don't during a breakup, she broke so many of them... ) and it is affecting me alot ... i tried to forget and forgive, but it is very hard... so much harder than the last one... the one before her, it took mi about 2 months to be smiling and friends again... but her... even after 6 months, i still love her... just as much as i wanna dig her heart out... tat is why i'm not talking or seeing her at all... i'm afraid i lose control and do something i would regret... but it hurts... and all my friends are tired of my "whining" now, i whine and wept alone... alone... darn... hate this... --- end of rambling --- Time heals all wounds, but time kills all her patients too... ~ Eterna2