Momof3

Forget about your jealousy and forget about him! He sounds like a world class jerk. If he puts pornography ahead of you, you don't need him. How can you enjoy an intimate relationship with a man who watches porn while you are making love? You are better than that. You deserve more. Go see the local bands and enjoy yourself when somebody hits on you! Maybe even give them your number

Ok, I won't tell you to let go, however, if you can't eat and feel sick you should see a doctor. Sometimes they can prescribe medication to help with that sort of thing. You could get anti-depressants to help your mood a bit. The doctor could also suggest someone for you to talk to. It sounds like you are suffering from anxiety. Take care of yourself or you are no good to anybody. Trust me. Michelle

Go to a safe house. They should give you a place to live temporarily and protect you from him. They are trained in this sort of thing and will tell you what you can do. While you are at it, join a support group and read some books about abusive relationships. Get out now and don't ever look back. I know this from experience. Please save yourself now! You will be in my prayers. Michelle

Thank you. I am new to a lot of boards but I love to post and meet new people. I never just post once and plug my site and never come back! I am just feeling hurt. I am thinking of removing her post because it is not true but at the same time I believe that people are entitled to their opinions. What should I do? Michelle

It means she does not want a romantic relationship with you. She might enjoy your company and want to hang out with you or she might not. Basically, I would say that she is not interested and you should move on. Maybe if you find somebody else she will realize what she is missing and change her mind. Women always want what they can't have.

Looks like a good site. I added your link to my site. I hope you don't mind. Michelle

Thanks. My site is for pregnant and new moms. I have included it in my signature in the past but can certainly limit it to posts on the subject. I just can't believe that someone who calls herself a Christian could be so hateful! Take care, Michelle

Hi, I have a serious question and want some opinions on the subject. I post on a number of message boards because I like to get and give advice. I have my own message board that is brand new and doesn't have very many members. When I post on other sites I often include my link so people can visit my site. If I read through the rules and don't see anything saying that you can't do that then I don't see it as a problem. Many people have links to there personal and business sites in posts and signatures. The reason I am asking is because somebody came to my site and posted this: "FYI Michelle registers at other messageboards and steals their ideas, and tries to steal their members. You have a lot of nerve!" She tilted it "THIEVES" I never stole anything from her, I don't email her members, one of her members has become a friend of mine and she sometimes posts on my board but she also continues to post on the other board. I feel really awful about this. She didn't bother to email me or send a private message. She didn't block me from her site and she didn't take my website address from my signature (although I went to her site and took it off so as not to offend her). Is it wrong for me to include my website in my signature? Thanks, Michelle

I would trust her. It sounds to me like they were all really drunk and just passed out. If she had actually been able to take her clothes off and do anything I doubt she would have bothered to put them back on. People do black out when they drink too much but it doesn't mean they did anything wrong. When people are asleep next to someone they often cuddle up even if they aren't aware of who it is because they are asleep! Does she have a problem with alcohol or was this a one time thing? If she drinks a lot, that could be the problem. As far as cheating goes, I don't think she cheated.

If you are married and attracted to someone else, maybe there is a problem in your marriage. You should decide whether or not you want to stay in your marriage before professing love to someone else. You should not tell her how you feel as she is also married and has a baby. You don't want to break up two families do you? No matter what you are feeling you should not approach her unless and until you are both single. Work things out with your wife or end it with her before you move on. No matter how bad things are she deserves at least that courtesy. Good luck

Sincere compliments are always good

When my husband and I were dating he used to read my email. He even did it after we were married, although I think he has stopped now. I hated it. I finally told him that if he couldn't trust me then we couldn't be together. He knew that there were some other guys that I talked to. I never lied to him. They were just friends. He told me how uncomfortable it made him so we talked about it. I ended up breaking off a few friendships because he meant a lot more to me than they did. But I also told him that I will continue talking to some of my friends and he has to deal with it. He still talks to other women, and his best friend is a woman whom he used to date. I trust him. He has learned to trust me. We don't keep secrets. If you can tell her that you are genuinely sorry and that it won't happen again, you may have a chance. You have to trust her though. And she has to learn to trust you again. If you really want to be with her, be persistent and earn her trust. If she is just using this as an excuse to move on and she is interested in seeing other people then you should let her go. You can't make her stay in the relationship if she doesn't want to be there. You should talk to her and find out what she wants and accept what she tells you. Good luck.

If you have to go and there is no option, then why not try to enjoy it? If you try to get along with people and make friends it shouldn't be that bad. When I was a kid I loved summer camp. I got to try new things and meet all kinds of interesting people. I'm sure that if you went with a positive attitude instead of a chip on your shoulder you would have a better time. If there is a way to get out of it, then it may be worth a try. Don't yell and scream and argue with your parents. The best way to get what you want from your parents is to negotiate and reason with them. Explain your point of view. Tell them why it is so awful. Don't get emotional, explain yourself calmly and rationally. Maybe there could be a compromise? A different camp? Staying with friends instead? A shorter stay? A family vacation? Have they explained why they are sending you? Do they need time to themselves? Are they going out of town? Are they working? See if there would be a solution that would give you all what you want! Good luck to you

I've been there. I was with my ex for seven years and it was a roller coaster ride from beginning to end. I finally made up my mind that I deserved better. I moved out for good and spent some time without him (still pining away, but refusing to give in). I eventually moved on and a year later I met my husband. Now I know how a man should treat his woman. He is my best friend. He is loving, supportive, kind, and forgiving. He never puts me down or says I told you so. We share everything, talk out our problems without the screaming match, and never lie to each other. That is what you should strive for. You deserve it. Step out of your comfort zone and try being on your own for a while. Learn to love and respect yourself and others will too. Just my opinion, but think about it

Can anybody offer me advice on step parenting? My husband's daughter from a previous relationship lives with us one week, her mom the next 5 days and her maternal grandparents for the weekend, then starts all over with us. She is 5 years old and has 3 homes with 3 sets of rules. She has no sibblings other than my 2 boys so she is not used to having other kids around. She likes to be the centre of attention and I think my boys are jealous of her. They fight a lot (which I know is normal for sibblings) but it drives me crazy. The weeks that she is not here the house is much more calm and organized but as soon as she gets here it goes crazy. I have a hard time trying to get her to follow the rules of our house but she is learning. She is such a great kid and I love her so much but I can't have her running the house when she is here. It sets a bad example for the boys and it makes my life chaotic. The strange thing is that when her Dad isn't here, she is usually pretty good, but when he is around she turns into a helpless baby needing him to do everything for her. I know she misses him and needs him but I don't think he should always give in to her. We have different ideas on parenting and discipline which doesn't help matters any, either. We just need some order in this house! Is there some way that I can get through to her that what may be acceptable at her mom's and grandma's may not be acceptable here? Also, I need her to know that she doesn't need to start acting like a helpless baby as soon as her daddy is around. Any advice? Thanks!

You should talk to him in private when the others aren't around. See if he wants to go to a movie or something that might be considered a "date". If he is interested he should let you know. Don't discuss your feelings with your ex or the other girls that hang around him. It is none of their business. Good luck!

Don't do it! I did it with my ex and got pregnant. We got back together after the baby was born and I remembered why I couldn't be with him so I left again. We kept seeing each other until one day I found out that he was living with another woman. They got married 6 weeks after the last time I was with him!!!!!

I've been there and done that. I don't recommend it. My ex and I stopped living together for 2 years and I finally gave in and moved back with him. He bought me a ring and we had another (2nd) child together. It was bliss for about 2 or 3 months, then he became his old self. I remembered why I moved out the first time and regretted having moved back in with him. It only lasted 10 months. We still continued seeing each other for a few more months, then, suddenly he was married to someone else. I would never put myself or my kids through that again. It was tough to get over but I am so much better off because of it. He still harasses me but at least I don't have to see him if I don't want to. Because you do not have a child with him you can eliminate him from your life completely and move on without looking back. There are much better men out there. I found a great guy a couple of years ago and we are now married. He considers my boys his own. He would never do anything to hurt any of us. Good luck to you

I have been pregnant 5 times. I am having my third miscarriage right now. The funny thing is that with the 2 that made it I lost 15-20 pounds in the first 3 months. With the ones that I miscarried, I gained weight. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Don't eat big meals and avoid smells that bother you. You will gain the weight back and you will leave the hospital in your pre-pregnancy jeans! Best of luck to you.

Children are extremely resilient and perceptive. They probably already have a pretty good idea of what is going on. I first left my boys' dad when the oldest was 2. We moved back together and had another baby a couple of years later. We lasted all of 10 months the second time. My oldest was already in kindergarten and he had to change schools and make new friends when we moved. He took it very well. He thought it was very nice to not have to listen to mommy and daddy yelling anymore. The youngest is another story. He was only 1 when we separated. He doesn't remember what it was like, and he still adores his daddy (he is almost 5 now). I married a wonderful man 2 years ago and he is now daddy to both my boys. They love him very much and I finally get to model a healthy marriage for my boys. They see how their father lives and they both know that we are so much better off without him. I would never deny him access and our relationship is much better now that we are apart. When we moved out I just explained to the boys that mommy and daddy could not get along but that we both loved them very much. They would live with me but they could still see daddy whenever they wanted. They don't spend much time with him anymore but it is his and their choice. They are smart boys and they know that living with him would never have worked out for any of us. It is so much better this way. Be straight with the kids. They might be angry for a while but they will understand. Likely they will be very supportive to you because they love you and do not want to see you unhappy. Give them some credit. Good luck to you