Progressive

Has anyone asked the kids where THEY would like to be ? Does their opinion not count ??? FFS!

Ok well, i told my friend that I loved them and how i felt and although I didnt get the reply i wanted I got the next best thing. The classic 'Just Friends' responce! But, i wasn't as upset as I thought i would be. After all, I've never been WITH her so theres nothing for me to miss and i do have the definate answer to the question that plays on your mind ALL the time, so heartbroken though i might be, its in a 'happy' way. Anyway, now i have to be the good friend that I have always been and its really hard to do now. I still love her so talking to her is easy and i suppose i have tried to "dull-down" the flirty comments a bit, but, its like I have ruined it and we can't share the same jokes as we did before, like it makes her akward or something but wont say it I guess the worst part is "the boyfriends" that she is looking for and talking to me about! I am SO glad that she still trusts me and feels she can talk to me about getting herself a new man but i think it might take me a little while to talk about it without getting worked up and jealous. (I DO want to be the one that she can come to and ask anything of with no fear of being rideculed or laughed at or knowing that im not going to run off and tell someone else as soon as shes gone -- But does that make a hypercrit or a bad person for sitting there and getting upset over it? I dunno?) Ohhh i can feel something calling me ........ although, oh sod it im off to bed! Night all!

Dont worry mate, it's not just you. I think at one point or another most people get caught and do that. *I*'ve just done exactly the same thing. Spend ages thinking about it, pluck up the courage to tell them how you feel and *pow* you get the "think of you as a good friend" line. It DOES hurt and it is a hell of a setback but in a way its a good setback (go with me on this one for a minute) - they are still there, they are still your friend and even though you cant be together as a couple you CAN still be there as friends! So, i suppose in a way, you havn't lost anything AND you haven't gained anything either. Ok, i suppose its not much use as advice or anything but its nothing that YOU do, if you look back, the board is full of people saying they are attracted to thier friend and should they tell them or not. I suppose in some freaky land KNOWING and being able to move on is better than sitting around going "do they...? dont they..?" all the time? im shutting up now

I guess you're right, but i dont think i can really tell her face to face or on the phone, i'd just bottle out. I guess if i just say i got something to say dn point her to this post? If i do do that, and *YOU* are reading this right now and youre just thinking "yeah you're good but its not happening!" please understand I had to say it sometime, perhaps i can be better now and i can REALLY help you find someone? I just dont want it to wipe the last 5-6 years of "us".

Good on you reborn! I don't doubt that there will always be a little bit of you that sits there and thinks back to the "days gone by" - you wouldnt be human if you didnt! Also, now you have come this far, dont forget about the days that you had together, a lot of it has made you the person you are today. A little more cautious perhaps but essentially a stronger more powerful woman. Acceptance is where you are now... good luck on the journey from there to the next better, happier place

Oh what the hell have i done? I dont know if i really want help or anything like that or advise I just need to get this out somewhere and theres no-one here where i really can? Basically, I have (had?) this friend for about 5 years who was attached and broke up very recently. A few months ago i fell in love with her (deeply) told her a LITTLE bit of how i was (after much pondering/worrying) and things were ok we were still friends which was really really good! However, I am in an unsolveable situation. She keeps telling me how she wants to find someone else and tells me how she is looking and about one or two people that she meets, which, frankly just splits my heart in two whenever she mentions it. I dont let her know how it makes me feel and keep trying to encourage her to look for that mr right. BUT, i would LOVE that mr.right to be ME! If she ever rang me and told me she loved ME or wanted me to move somewhere with her i would drop everything in a heartbeat! I can't tell her that because i am 99.9% sure she doesnt like me in that way, so the only way for me to get some closure is for her to be attached and happy! So, i have to get her together with this wonder-man whos out there somewhere! BUT, she spends most nights on-line chatting with me and i know she isnt going to meet anyone like that, so I have told her that..... Im taking a break from msn messenger and she is currently on block. But its upsetting me MORE to not talk to her than it is to talk to her and be told how she wants this wonder-man. I also dont want her to think that I dont like her any more and havn't just gone off because i think shes boring or because shes ugly or anything like that. If anything its the opposite! The only thing that makes me happy these days IS talking to her, but, its like im the virus thats keeping her from being happy? i dunno. Someone posted a song a while ago (link removed) which, i've taken to be my signature tune. Everyone sing alone now............

The rhythm method is NOT the best idea for preventing pregnancy by any means. Technically I suppose there may be less of a chance perhaps, but as 'ansleynicole' said - there IS still a chance that you can get pregnant. Don't forget that even though people sit there and say "Oh i've been using that method for years and i've never gotten pregnant!!!" there are also people there who say "I've been trying for years and never gotten pregnant" It only needs one little sperm to make his journey to get pregnant and there are PLENTY released before you ejaculate! But saying that, don't panic yet, if you are concerned you can get over the countre pregnancy kits from just about anywhere these days and that should be able to give you an answer in no time. Play it safe!!!!!!

Ah.... i dont suppose sitting in the front room with a big pair of patio windows behind her on a sunny day really helped Doh... Ah well.... I can dream again.....

I have this female friend who i am in love with, although it is purely one-way. She doesnt.....me. BUT, one day when we were together she commented on how the pupils in my eyes are very small. I was always led to believe that when you love someone or are attracted to someone then your eyes dialated and the black parts became bigger. Is this true? If it is, what does this mean? DO I love her? I'm convinced myself that I do but is my body language putting out all sorts of "I hate you!" messages that I dont know about? Help!

Hmm...... (sounds like my relationship! A lack of sex in a relationship can leave you feeling unloved, unwanted, undesirable and many other things. It does NOT mean he is being unfaithful or that he doesnt find you attractive, some people just do seem to have a low sex drive. Is there a reason as to why he doesn't want sex? Has he always been this way or is it a recent thing? Saying that however, if you DO feel unloved in the relationship, you have to make the decesion that do you want to continue with your current partner? Do you love him enough to stay with him even with the low "passion" rating? OR do you feel that you aren't happy and that you would rather find someone else? I SHOULD also mention communication! If you are unhappy, tell him! If you have never said that you miss the closeness part of the relationship he may not realize that you are feeling this strongly about it and thinks that you are fine with how things are? Next time you are together have a sit down and have a big heart to heart about how you miss how you used to be or how you would like you both to be in the future. You never know, he might surprise you!!!!

Although i DO use Aim/MSN Messenger/ICQ etc... I have always felt it is in NO WAY compareale to actually being in the same room as someone or talking on the telephone! Silly comments that they would see/hear you laughing about can be taken as serous things (even with the added at the end) - people make mistakes, mis-read lines and things just get in a mess. For keeping in touch with friends or people in a long established relationship i would say ok, fine, go for it. For someone starting out in a NEW relationship i would never ever recommend it. It's TOO easy to mis-read things!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ (Says he after spending an hour talking to someone this evening....go figure!) ------------------------------------------------------------------------

**OHH I HOPE SHE ISNT READING THIS!!** Recently when i learnt that someone i am close to (friends, maybe more on some higher level?) was going back home overseas, I came up with the idea of a 'farewell cd' that contained all those songs that either remind me of her, or contain her name or are special to me, her or US for whatever reason. It was actually quite sad when i had it all put together really Nice front, no song names just artists and an explaatory text inside BUT... things chance and now i find she isnt going away after all, but its a nice cd to put on in the car when you're feeling a bit lonely x

UPDATE: (Although no-ones actually reading this now, but... it makes me feel better!) I went around last night and I dont know what the hell i was thinking with all this "Does making them hate you...." rubbish. How can I make her hate me when we get on so well and she makes me so happy??? No, nothing happened but.. maybe I don't really want it to? Maybe this is how it should be - this makes me happy! If it went further maybe it would spoil it and make it all serious and everything? I think i'm happy as it is for now. Heres to next time! x

Ok, should probably say firstly that the person i love... we AREN'T and have NEVER been an item, just friends! Its purely a "i do..." and "she doesn't....." thing.

If you really REALLY REALLY!!! love someone, but they dont love you and its driving you really really crazy , would trying to make them hate you eventually stop you from loving them? Like..... if i make them hate me, i'll know 101% that they dont like me and they wont talk to me and that they won't want anything to do with me which will force me to forget about them? Or would it be considered pushing everyone close away? H-E-L-P-!-!-!