I was married and lived with my ex-wife for 9 years until we separated. I've have not lived with my ex-wife for over 2 1/2 years. We got divorced in June of 2002. So I've been divorced for over a year and a half now. I agreed to allowing my 2 sons to stay with her and I would pay child support. I have been paying her child support since we separated. I see my sons every 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends plus Wednesday evenings and any other day my ex-wife will allow me to have. She works at night frequently and doesn't spend much time with them (ages 11 and 6) because of that. Her sister takes care of them. My ex (age 34) lives with her mom (age 6 and her sister and her sister's husband (ages 44 and 5. Also living in the house is her niece and her niece's fiance (ages 19 and ?). The house is a small 3 bedroom house. My sons share their room with their mother and grandmother. All 4 in the same bed. My ex's mom, sister, brother in law and niece's fiance are all smokers. My sons' clothes always smell like smoke. My younger son has an asthma related condition that requires the use of an inhalor several times a day. I fear that his condition will worsen if he stays in the house with 4 smokers. My older son has been diagnosed with ADHD and is on medication. I can only say that I think putting any child on medication is a crock of @#$%$. When I pick him up on Wednesdays he often seems withdrawn and depressed. I love my sons very much and I am very concerned with their well being. I do not want to put my oldest son in a situation where he has to make a decision between his mother and me. On the other hand, I think the end justifies the means. I sincerely believe that I can provide a much more stable environment for my sons to grow up in. Here's the catch: My girlfriend lives with me. She is the nicest person I have ever known. She was my highschool sweetheart. We were only 16 and 17 at that time. Now we've been reunited through fate. We love each other very much. She is great with the kids and most important, the kids like her. We are both employed with regular 9 to 5 jobs and would be able to support my sons if we had custody of them. I do plan on getting married but I want to try to spend my time and money , if necessary, to get custody of my sons. I have very little money saved up and will use every penny to get my sons back if need be. The only obstacle is my ex-wife who is extremely bitter. I can't even talk to her about our sons. She gets angry and hangs up on me if I even begin to talk to her about them. She is so mad that she seems to make decisions with ill intentions toward me. Instead of deciding what is best for our sons, she seems to choose the solution that will most hurt or anger me. Please advice me on what to do. I just want what is best for my sons.
Thank you.
Sad Dad
