Leonhart

I agree. Smart person, you.

I know. I often thought of adopting, even if I never were to get married. But I decided against that plan for now. I mean, why walk around believing I'll never get married at my age? Kind of silly, don't you think? But it does enforce the concept of one day having kids to love and care for.

I'm not rare at all. But thank you. Maybe on the internet my kind is rare, but hardly in real life. My idealism is more commonly shared than you may think.

Love is expressed outwardly, not inwardly. Having children to love is not a selfish motive. Any parent knows that having children is one of the most self-giving things one can do. People can do whatever they wish. That's not my point. I already gave reasons as to why it is often a selfish thing to do.

I would answer the question with one of my own: Who would anyone NOT want to have children? Is this world crappy and chaotic? You'd better believe it. But just because other people have screwed up this world doesn't mean I should suffer, nor does it mean I should put things I want on hold for them either. Like Locke said, it's akin to running away. The sheer amount of negativity in this topic is enough to make my stomach turn. I could counter every negative point by putting a positive spin on it. Instead of saying, 'this world sucks, I don't want to being kids into it,' why not think that by bringing kids into it, and raising them right, they can grow up and change this rotten world for the better? Half full or half empty indeed. And I'm not sure about the biological clock argument. It may have merit, but I'm a guy and want kids, so I don't fully buy it. Basically, almost every reason a person can muster for not wanting kids is a selfish one. "It would interfere with my life. It would be too much of a hassle. It would distract me from my (almighty) career. It would cramp my style, etc." Sure, not wanting to make anyone suffer in this rotten world is one unselfish view, but it's also a very negative view. But it's probably good that many people who focus primarily and only on themselves don't have kids. The world does not need more egocentric people. Obviously, not everyone should have kids. Irresponsible, abusive people do not need children. They need to grow up first, then consider children. (Easier said than done.) The sad thing is, many unfit parents do have kids, and the otherwise would-be great parents, do not (or usually 'cannot').

More like hourglass-figured. Curvy hips and rear often catch men's eyes as well. I can't remember the exact number, but the ideal waist-hip ratio for a woman was something like 0.8 or was it 0.7? I forget. I'm sure many of you have heard this before.

The question said, do all guys feel like this. Being a guy, I chose to answer based on what I know - personal experience. I do no err.

Well, I know I don't like chubby, it's gross. But it depends on your definition of chubby. A couple years ago, I used to think Hilary Duff was INCREDIBLY sexy. I mean, wow. I don't know what she looks like now - I'm not a fan lol. But I remember seeing pictures of her a couple years ago and thought she was near ideal in every respect physically. I remember one girl I dated a couple years ago. She was VERY nicely shaped, but not what one would call super thin. I would've considered her 'moderate.' Not fat, but not skinny. She had meat in all the right places, and was very curvacious, without being overweight. But when my mom saw her (she told me afterward) she thought she was a little on the chubby side. Her words: "I was surprised I thought you didn't like girls that were chubby." I was floored. I'm a very thin guy myself and am not at all attracted to overweight women, but when she said that I couldn't believe it. I didn't think she was heavy at all. More like, incredibly hot. So it just goes to show that what one considers chubby is not what all would. I couldn't give you a BMI or number in pounds of what I like. It's so hard to say. I would much rather date someone petite than heavy though (but to consider someone with Duff's former build as 'chubby' is a bit much, I think.) Well, to each his own...

Of course I can relate to that. Male or not, I can definitely understand where you're coming from. Feels like life is kind of passing you by. Everyone else is getting together but you. Yeah, I've been there. Being busy is one thing, but as you said, people still get together, even in the midst of that. I don't really have any encouragement, just saying that I know what you're saying. It also depends on WHERE you're looking, if anywhere, so that may have something to do with it.

I've heard all this before. lol I often sit with my arms crossed, it's not because I am not interested in a girl, just simply because I feel comfortable that way. I do what I do to make myself comfortable, not to send out ambiguous symbols that need to be grossly scrutinized in an attempt to gauge my level of interest, knowing that one 'wrong' sign will destroy her interest in me or hope of us getting together. I've heard the same effect for women: If she smiles a lot, she likes you. If she plays with her hair, especially while looking at you, she likes you. If she talks to you, she likes you. If she adjusts her appearance, i.e. make up, etc., she likes you. And in my experience, these random and strange body movements do not symbolize anything, although they may simply express friendliness, boredom, concern for her appearance (not necessarily interest), among other things. It's true, you can never truly 'know' if someone likes you. No wonder us guys don't go by body language. It is far too easy to manipulate, and far too easy to misread. Oh, perish the thought! I'm not offended in the least. I wasn't referring to 'love' in relationships, just simply expressing interest/attraction/flirting, whatever. Of course, it would be a cold day before I ever said the L word first to a girl. lol Never happen... again anyway. I learned my lesson on THAT. Is it boring? Maybe. I never claimed to be exciting. If a woman wants entertainment and thrills, let her watch a movie or go to an amusementpark. lol It's not my job to entertain her. If who I am is not exciting enough for her, then she obviously is not right for me anyhow. Who says there needs to be excitement? Don't tell me you're one of those people who would bungee jump out a cliff or something, just for the sheer 'thrill' of it. Just because something is supposedly 'exciting' (and what some call exciting, other would call anxiety-provoking), doesn't mean we should do it. If I ever decided to express interest in a female - doubtful, but we'll just say 'if' - then I would be doing it because I am genuinely interested, not because I crave excitement or a cheap thrill. I can understand it is a huge risk for the other person (who doesn't exist, but we'll say hypothetically) to express interest by themselves, without indication of reprocity. But it's also not fair for others to expect the same of me. It works both ways. I've definitely never met anyone I've ever had feelings for right away. I may like their appearance, but that's about it. Feeling anything like love or emotion takes time, after you get to know the person intimately.

One reason why church SINGLES groups don't work. Thank God my church does not have one. Sure, we have something that enables people of certain age brackets to get together, but not a 'singles' group, per se. Church is NOT for hooking up or meeting the opposite sex. It's for strengthening your relationship with the Lord. I don't care who disagrees with me on that. I stand my ground firmly that that is the purpose of church - and ALL church related activities. Anyhow, our church used to have a youth group function, which was for a certain age bracket, and now it has something of a college and career motif. This works far better than a 'singles' group which transforms the church into a meat market. In this regard, both young men and women who are serious about God will come to learn and have fellowship with one another, without having to fear or worry about interruptions by older adults who clearly do not belong there. Basically, if you're over 30, you'd be better off going with prayer or bible study on a different night. It's not exclusitory, it's a smart decision by the leadership to ensure that what you just described, DOESN'T happen. But the last thing they have in mind, I can assure you, is for the guys and girls that go, go with the intent of finding a mate. That is certainly not the primary function of such a gathering.

I need someone to CLEARLY - i.e. in NO uncertain terms - express interest in me, whom I am interested in. Then I'd be fine.

That's odd. I ignore women all the time, and none of them seem to care. In fact, it probably makes them happy - having one less goon hitting on them all the time. I guess it depends on the person and the situation.

I'm a contradiction of sorts, so it's a little of both, to be honest. I don't like exposing my true feelings to light, unless I am certain that I will be accepted. So, part of it is indeed intentional, as I know this. But I also find it innately hard to be open, expressive and 'myself' around any girl I find physically attractive. Anyone else though, I can be open, extraverted and completely normal around. The more attractive I find a girl, the more likely it is I will not talk to her, and will go to great lengths to ignore her. (As I said, I am a contradiction...) lol

Maybe. Can you tell if I like you? No, unless your intuition is amazingly accurate and/or you are clairovyoant. My body language is as closed as normal - possibly more so - if I am sexually interested in a female.

You're absolutely right. Women don't care about looks, at all hardly. It's almost as though they were blind, especially in contrast to us men. We place SUCH focus and emphasis on the temporary, while they look so much deeper. It's quite sad, really. But I'm just as guilty as the next for valuing the curve of a hip over the fire of a heart. But such is life. Nevertheless, to illustrate Locke's point, it is so true. I am often given compliments for my looks, dare I say, I think I'm pretty good looking. HOWEVER. This means nothing with women (unless, per chance, every compliment I hear is a complete lie. But I'll give people the benefit of the doubt... I guess.) Women want personality, charm, wit, romance, fun, excitement, adventure, exhiliration and devotion. The package it comes in, unless in the eyes of the most immature of women (yes, I openly admit men are more immature in this regard than women), is irrelevant.

Some girls like nerds. I wouldn't change who you are just to "get girls." Being yourself is more important. Selling out won't make you happy in the end. Besides, (unless the girl is a sports fanatic, which not all are - thank God) then she will be bored to TEARS hearing you prattle on about sports. How old are you? Where exactly are you "looking?" What type of girl are you trying to get? Being small may hurt you, but some women will look past that and see the real you. Looks matter minimally for women. They care more about other stuff. Just out of curiosity, how tall are you and what do you weigh? Unless you're like 4'11" and 95 lbs, you probably have nothing to worry about.

Fours hours? Where did you get that from? I've never heard of that. I'd say until the date's resolution is a good idea. Why hang around if it's over? Or why end it there if it's going really well? (Rare, I know.)

I was merely sympathizing with the topic creator. As much as you may not like to acknowledge it, there are more of us out there than you think.

Good for you! But bear in mind something: Placing your happiness in something so transcient and precarious as a dating relationship is tredding on very thin ice, from which you could well drown. Good luck.

Curl up into a ball and wait for morning to come. Hey, may not be manly, but it works.

No, he's basically right. I agree with him, from a psychological perspective. But there's more than that holding me back. And remember, a long time ago... once upon a strange and foreign land - perhaps it was all a dream now, I recall not - I did have someone that was dear to me. But, as things goes, loves is often short-lived, but long felt.

As I said before: You're quite sweet. If only women that actually met me IN REAL LIFE felt the same way. Nevetheless, such is life...

You may not seem like you're flirting, but you know exactly what you're doing. You draw people in, very calculatingly, without them even knowing. Subtle and understated, you know how to best leverage your sex appeal. A sexy enigma, you easily become an object of obsession. Yeah, right. I guess even those who don't bother to "flirt" are considered flirts, by that test. Bah.

Try wearing hot pink. No one will fail to see you now. lol