Leonhart

After I see YOUR pic... Ahh, you're not missing much anyway. I've yet to see a photograph of me that looks good.

Oh, um, thank you.

Kyo, I have a question for you: Is there a specific type of woman that you find attractive, or are you open to dating most women you meet? What I'm asking is, are you overly picky or selective with women? What percentage - rough estimate - would you consider datable, in your age range, of women? I'm not saying you're being overly selective or 'too picky' (if there ever was such a thing), but I must ask since I agree that even average - and for that matter, well-below average - looking people find love and happiness. Are you setting your sights high? (Just asking. I am in NO WAY insinuating that you must stop doing so. I just want to know.) Personally, I think you should pursue those who you find attractive, whether they be 9s or 10s. Don't settle and don't let others tell you that you have to. For everyone's curiosity, I myself, am very picky. (Well, not overtly, but I do expect an attractive mate, to say the least.) And I will not change that for anyone, nor should you... if that is the case. I'm just wondering, since you seem to feel that getting the type of girl you want is beyond your grasp (even if she may not be), and this struck me as odd. I'd much rather be single and unhappy than stuck in an unhappy marriage. It's better to be single and wish to be married than it is to be married and wish to be single. Trust me.

Damn, that's good for you... but sucks for me. See, my "youth group" (even though they're mostly all early twenties and older...) are actually just there to get closer to God and to grow spiritually. None of the guys are really all that 'good' with women, so I don't have any positive, christian, alpha males to follow. There is ONE alpha male in my life who I really look up to... and he's great. BUT... I don't get to see him interact with women anymore, since he's married now. It sucks. I can (and do) emulate this particular AM in my life, but I also happen to know for a fact... that when he was single... he wasn't very good with women, so it's strange. I'm not saying he was 'bad' per se, with women, but he didn't really pursue them either. He was just himself... and if they liked him, great. If not, who gives a damn? lol A little 'too cool' for his own good. He was more concerned with his own life, than chasing them. He was also one of those guys who never really wanted a woman, so...

That is good advice. Women definitely want the guy to make the first move, which is understandable. Even I'm okay with that much. The hard part is attracting women when you have no idea how. It's a mystery to me. I'm thinking, showing yourself as successful - that is, having lots of money - *may* help. In my experience, it seems to work... some of the time. I look like I have a lot of money, and sometimes, it has worked. But not always. Of course, do you really want someone to like you just because you look rich? That's a question only you can answer. A good question is, galaxy, how would a guy with no successful role models be able to model himself after another who is successful with the ladies? I'm asking for myself here. I don't know of any guys who are overly successful with women... well, there is one former friend of mine. He dressed like me, hell, even wore the exact same cologne as me (how's that for coincidence?), but he drinks like a FISH (I'm talking EVERY NIGHT) and as a result, is very different than I am with women. (I'm sure the booze has a lot to do with it.) Oh yeah, he also tends to shout at attractive girls he sees on the street, while driving down the road. Should I emulate that? (I'm thinking no.)

God, Kyo... that blows. I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I can't. I am you, just a few years younger... except for the part about being attracted to girls outside my ethnicity. I'd be more than happy with someone from my background, but they don't seem to like me either, so I'm screwed. I can sympathize with you, though. What's the point of bein alive if you can't have someone to love and cherish? Beats me. (Not to get all theological on you or anything, but...) Adam was lonely when the world was perfect and he could walk and talk with God Himself, yet he still desires a companion. Humans were not meant nor designed to be single. It's unnatural, and only a very select few can manage to be by themselves and never pine for a lover. I know I can't. I've tried being single and content on my own, but I can't do it. Nor should I have to. Yet this world is not always fair. I don't know exactly what kind of girl you're looking for Kyo, but there's nothing wrong with what you want. I know that. We're allowed to desire a great, fun mate to be with, to love and to enjoy. Now, we don't always GET what we want, mind you, but at least we can dream... I don't know. I feel so much like you, in so many respects. I know in the past, you complimented me on my appearance, and I thank you, but at the same time, let's be real here. If I were at all attractive, I'd have a girlfriend by now. But I don't. So I know what you're going through. and I know where I'll be in 5 and 10 years. Same place I am today with women. Not because I'm not smart, funny, kind, loving and all that jazz... But because the girls I like do not like me. So I'm just wasting my time. I sincerely hope that you do find someone great, that you can be with Kyo. You deserve it, just as I deserve it! But even if I did not find what I'm looking for, it would make me feel a little better that at least some of my fellow-lonely guys are finding their hearts' desires. I really want to see that for you.

In Islam and Judaism, masturbation is a huge sin. In Christianity, it isn't... but some sects try to purport that it is... mistakingly citing the story of Onan as grounds for it. But if they understood anything, they'd know that Onan was killed not for beating off but for not honouring the law to take care of his dead brother's wife. Look it up and you'll see.

I often wonder what ever became of these people...? Did they find love and happiness after all? Or did their lives continue being a source of loneliness, misery and confusion?

I've always liked that. The first time I heard it, I shed tears. Actually hearing it aloud, also makes a difference in its overall impact on the listener.

Depends where you're looking. To find a suitable companion, you must look in suitable environs.

Uh, yep. Doubtless. And as ghost said, it's almost always the woman who initiates interest in the male and signals that he can approach her without being shot down like a war plane. If that's not there, he may be risking rejection.

If money truly bought happiness, I should be QUITE happy right now, at least, in theory. Yet I am far from it. My mother always said when I was little, "Money doesn't buy happiness." A wise woman, doubtless. She was right. If having lots of money was somehow a magic ticket to paradise, I'd already be there. But money is worthless when you have no one to share it with.

Yep, nice men are everywhere. And the BEST part is: You don't have to worry about them being taken! Nice guys don't have girlfriends!

You are a smart man. Doesn't it say that "without faith, it is impossible to please God"?

I am not a vegetarian in any way shape or form. But at the same time, I don't really feel 'good' about eating another once living, breathing creature. It bothers me when I think about it... a lot. In my view, they are creations of God and maybe we shouldn't be devouring them? I don't know. If I ever saw a slaughter-house, I think I'd go totally vegan. Yet I don't really like vegetables, so what would I eat? lol A man can only eat so many potato chips. lol I don't eat veal though, so that's a plus, right? It's times like these, that I become saliently aware of how I am not long for this world. I'm too much of a softy.

One of the reasons why I wasn't hearing the voice of God was due to my lack of prayer. I stopped praying. Obviously if you stop talking to someone, they will eventually cut contact with you, too. So I've started praying again. It's very calming. The scriptures say, "Draw nigh unto God, and He will draw nigh unto you." So there we have it. lol

lonestar80, I agree with what you're saying, but I'm reminded of 1 Cor. 2:14: "But the natural man receives not the things of the Spirit of God; for they are foolishness to him: neither can he know, because it is spiritually discerned." While I believe in - and agree with everything you're saying - I just don't see the point of debating this. I mean, don't get me wrong; you're free to debate all you like. But it won't do any good. They won't understand, nor do they wish to. I just think you'd be better off saving your energy for something else. Anyway, God bless and best wishes.

blueangel and lonestar80 are both awesome people!

I like how a simple topic about a teen seeking some advice on how to know God has become a jihad and discourse on science VS. God. Completely missing the point. Whatever. I'm not getting embroiled into a jihad over something so trivial. I come here to post about relationship-related problems, not debate 'the existence of God' with a bunch of people on teh intranet.

I heard that nearly 90% of adults end up married at some point in their lives. That doesn't describe the quality of their marriages, mind you.

I expect a girl to be nice and giving. If she's a selfish, rude little waif, then I'm bound to move on right quick.

Or, would could, like, ask him out anyway.

'Ask and you shall receive.' The scriptures are ripe with promises of God giving good things to those who seek Him and ask it of Him. However, it appears that not all promises are there for everyone. And that's fine. I'm not bitter. I used to often blame God for my life being crappy, but not anymore. You're absolutely right. We have no right to demand anything of God. Even out next breath is on loan, if you will. So every good and perfect gift we receive comes from God; for believer or non-believer alike. He makes the rain fall on the just and the unjust. So we should rejoice when He decides to bless us and rejoice when He decides to bless someone else instead of us. But it would be a complete lie to say it doesn't bother me. But such is life, and life is such. As for soul mates, Adam had a soul mate, so it's far from inconceivable to presume others don't. I take it you're a pragmatist, not a romantic. That's fine. I, however, am a true romantic. Thus I believe - I have little reason NOT to. Who can say what my purpose is? Can you? Can even someone who knows me intimately? Nope. Only God can give His creations their purpose and it's up to us find our mission from Him and through ourselves. I have an idea of what mine entails, and sadly, you may be right - it probably does not include happiness or things that I want, like love, companionship and all that good stuff. Thanks for pointing that out to me. Yeah, He supplies all our (physical) needs. Humans have needs for love, companionship and all that other crap too. But He doesn't necessary care about those needs. He only makes sure we're fed, clothed and sheltered so we can do His work for Him. God is TOO busy to respond? Um, no. God is omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent. He can do whatever He pleases, and is not limited by time and space. The only thing necessary for Him to fix my 'little' problem is for Him to say the word and it would be done. And frankly, when one is happy and fulfilled in life, they are able to do far more for others than when they are lonely and depressed. I am a very loving person. But even I need companionship. Perhaps God will allow you to suffer loneliness and such when you come to be my age, then maybe you'll see what I'm talking about and going through. Good day to you.

I've been thinking: It depends on your definition of "self." I love who I am on the inside - I'm awesome. lmao Truly. But my body... it can die and be devoured by maggots. If the concept of self must include the physical body, then no, I don't love myself.

Out of sheer boredom and curiosity, I decided to give my little experiment a shot after all. Did it the other day. Counted exactly 50 girls walk by in about an hour. Here are the results, which surprised me greatly: No. of girls I was not attracted = 25 No. of girls I was attracted to = 25 It was even, 50/50. I didn't think it'd be that high. but it does me little good anyway, since just because I fancied them, does NOT mean that they would fancy me. Most likely, many of them (if not all) would not.