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Boughs

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Everything posted by Boughs

  1. Boughs
    All in all, you seem to be wanting a response/rise out of him, don't you find it kinda... well a childish approach by wanting something back? I think if you called him up... and be very brief, you say "hey, I'm sorry if this is awkward but I really would love my picture back. If you could just set it out front of your apt./house, and I could stop by and grab it, I'd really appreciate it". DO NOT TALK TO HIM WHEN YOU GET IT. PICK IT UP AND LEAVE AND PURSUE NC. Do not do this to get a rise out of him.
  2. Boughs
    I wouldn't ask for it back. EDIT: Let me expand on this. I did the same thing, drew a huge picture for my ex. She loved it... I loved it... probably my fav drawing I ever made. Well, she framed it and kept it. I miss that drawing a lot myself... but if i were to ask for it back, I KNOW that it'd seem silly/stupid. + I like knowing she either kept it or threw it away. Its a piece of my past that is out of my hands. I'd say don't ask, just stop thinking about it. Keep to yourself from here on out, NC and the like. Screw this guy.
  3. Boughs
    Personality. Don't look down, look happy. be happy... feel happy. Make people excited to be around you.
  4. Boughs
    Mmm, very interesting. I can remember when I did a similar thing with my ex. Reprisal, but the feelings were... off. Its like I couldn't put a finger on it. Cloudy thoughts... and just couldn't think straight about the whole situation. I remember that as time passed I ended up retrieving more hard facts from her... and being able to put definitions and meanings to things we were doing... thus helped clear the cloud. But that time until I "learned" enough... was rather difficult. Kind of a monotonous time period... but after that it picked up again... but towards the end, I guess I had the thoughts creeping in again... "did I fight for the right girl?" "was it worth my time?" Thats why we broke up. So I think if you really want this girl, you should relax and work at it.
  5. Boughs

    The first kiss

    Boughs replied to Yarly's topic in Dating Advice

    If you aren't prepared for a breakup in 6 months, then don't make a move... you'll end up killin yourself over her... although that sounds bad, in some ways, its great. Pain is fun at times.
  6. Boughs

    The first kiss

    Boughs replied to Yarly's topic in Dating Advice

    Why not call her up right now, and ask her if you can come over and kiss her? I've done that before and although it was awkward at first, i made the move the second the door was opened and she was game for it.
  7. Boughs
    We all use the same cards... that you can beat at but they have a "just as justifiable answer" which in my opinion is naive and rude. I find it generally more ethical when people do NOT play those kinds of games. They are stupid games, but, most play them... have to find ones that have the same mindset and aren't gonna use that card to get away with everything. Anyways, back to the topic, my ex did the same thing, I never did figure out what to say... instead I had to catch her sneaking out one night and get the truth. Stalkerish, but... I was right. Ironically that was an unethical choice in my eyes... but what is more right and what is more wrong... never a fine line. Just find your belief system and act on it. From my perspective, she is hanging out with guys and perhaps thinking that she could get with one of them... perhaps she is drinking/smoking with them and doesn't want you to know so you don't get worried... all in all you can't know. Its up to her to spill the truth... and asking her perpetually will only increase the seriousness and longevity of the lies/mystery. So best thing to do, is to not call/worry when she goes out without you. Let her tell you what she did, don't inquire
  8. Boughs
    I'm glad you both enjoyed it.
  9. Boughs
    My ex was a nympho. But I like it close to once a day... so it worked out, but there were certainly times when she wanted it and I didn't and she would get really really hostile.. and likewise I would not have sex with her for a while. Its all in the reaction... perhaps the less you think about it/mention it the better it can become... but at the same time, you want to fullfill what you are looking for. In my opinion, I couldn't date someone who wasn't as sexual as me.
  10. Boughs
    Because their successes are what made them great. Success when short, is where you must meddle in to keep your head above water.
  11. Boughs
    She told me to fly fly fly but i said no. And then i told myself to try try try but it was already decided so. That I would not go, but that I'd die die die wondering which was right, so I set free. But I lied lied lied from this low to let be.
  12. Boughs
    I think a lot of people are going to lead this topic into "find what's comfortable to you". But you know what, that sounds all nice, but really being short does suck. I'm not as short as you (I'm 5'6'') but i generally have the same issues. I've built confidence in the work I do. I'm an artist and I try my best to succeed in that. Shortness with girls is a HUGE problem for me. I, like you, hide in the humor. Girls don't go for me, when my 6'0 buddy is towering next to me. Nothing i can do but laugh. Best thing to do when you go to parties, is talk to the girl that no one is talking to.... or that is not having a good night. Be kind and comfort them. You will gain respect from her and her friends. Keep making links and ties... Sheesh, I feel like so much of my confidence is built around the art that i do... you need a hobby that impresses yourself. Where you go "wow I did that". I don't know what hobbies that would be other than drawing, film, photography. Those are the 3 that really put me in a high.
  13. Boughs
    whew. I'm sorry... a lot is going on. Don't stalk him, do as he said, let go of him. Get comfortable for your child, find peace for the two of you, the third is not going to be there 100% so you need to expect him to do 0% of the work. He will not be there, move on. Its always hard as everyone here says over and over again... but NC is the only way to heal.
  14. Boughs
    Hmm, i didn't read ur post well enough, who asked who out on the first date? If it was you, then don't ask again and do the "waiting" If it was him, I'd ask him out on a second date. Show you were interested.
  15. Boughs
    Ask him on a date. It might not be comfortable, but he'll appreciate it. If he really does like you he will say yes... if no then you obviously know. But if he says yes then he actually DOES like you, he just doesn't know how to go about touching you and doesn't know you well enough to know what you like/dislike. He is nervous, he is very nervous. Try to relax more Maybe go get coffee (starbucks is a great place obviously)... get to know him better... talk about "the other sex" stuff... it'll open him up maybe?
  16. Boughs
    Ex is amazing. Right place, right situation. Best highs I've ever had.
  17. Boughs
    I toke still I dunno, I did an extreme amount for about 6 months, then I stopped for 6 or so... and now I smoke maybe once a month if that. I don't see much wrong with it to be honest.
  18. Boughs
    Be clear and be direct. TELL her your choice, don't let her know your choice. That is something that is VERY hard to do.. especially if you haven't done it before. Yes, tell her exactly what NC means. Tell her its for BOTH of your growth. Always remember that NC is for the BOTH of you. However each other views it, is their own personal decision... but in the long run, it heals/helps both. Everyone gets these "first love" breakups. You might be hers, hell you might be 3-5 other girls... you just have to bow out as gracefully as possible. The way you break with her now, you will think about everytime you break with a new girl. Do it kindly and justly this time, and your next times will be easier. And remember REMEMBER Be clear and be direct. Personally I wouldn't tell her about the things you did.
  19. Boughs
    Maybe when i'm financially detatched... but I never thoroughly will be I guess. Kind of frusterating... too tempting, and just overall too easy to just give up. I never had a drive to kick it in gear... hopefully I'll find it somewhere in my path in life. I think those things just come about... nothing that is induced by personal decisions to grow... its just happens.
  20. Boughs
    I'm small all around. Doesn't bother me or girls much. i tend to go for the girls smaller than I, so I'm sure it fits the puzzle better than if I dated a girl 2x my size.
  21. Boughs
    I get frusterated when i walk actually. I think too much and I want to do something about it. Then I get back to apt... and I just sit down and I don't stand back up. Just a habit.
  22. Boughs
    She is being smart, she isn't coming on too strong. If she was asking you everyday (like she might want to) you'd be turned off by it and abandon ship. So accept a dinner (or better yet, be like, "youve invited me so much, how about I invite you")
  23. Boughs
    I have traveled a lot in my life. I've seen most of that stuff... it never really has impacted me. Perhaps Im at the participation part of the "baby steps". Thats what I plan to do after I graduate. As for cutting off from my parents... I don't know how to even go about doing that. I don't know how to start... do I get myself my own credit card to start building credit? What do I do with the money from my job? just put it in a banking account? When I do that, what kind of account? I have no idea how money really works. Its just always been given to me.
  24. Boughs
    I have the inability to appreciate things. I have little feelings of being "responsible" for things and most of all I know that I don't have these abilities so in turn it makes me upset at myself for my inability to be a wholesome good person I aim to be. Growing up in a wealthy family, I have always gotten what I wanted... generally when it comes to relationships and things, I tend to "get the girl". All in all, I don't think i'm happy. I don't think I have the ability to respect things in my life... I don't really appreciate all people do for me and I can never find the responsibility for things in my life. How can I revive these? I am just so de-sensitized.
  25. Boughs
    People always tell me, we change so much from 20 ish to 27, don't get married until you figured it out a bit. I'm not going to get married till i'm at least 28. I made it my rule. I think its silly to get married until then.
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