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TxRedheadGuy

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  1. TxRedheadGuy
    The Monster Inside All those times I made our failure To succeed in love your fault it was mine All those I shunned as heartless All along the fault was mine I committed upon you the worst imaginable I abandoned you and made you to be in the wrong Somehow drawing a sick twisted pleasure from your pain I could not control the monster inside Sadly you were not the only one Not the first nor the last To feel the pain only I would inflict With my cold cruel means I let anger cost me my first chance to be human And let pride cost me my precious second chance I scorned others when the fault was in fact mine But now I see the monster inside I want to cage this monster and lock it away But fear that once he is gone nothing will remain This body will be but an empty shell Of what was once inside I am at a loss for how to accomplish my task To continue to let him loose would do innumerable harm To those innocents who do not deserve that pain But to end it with finality would do much the same My Angel of Epiphany has shown me that I am the monster inside
  2. TxRedheadGuy
    I was just wondering if online chat has helped others as it has me improving social and conversational skills? Most of my life I have been shy and normally would not be the first to initiate conversations, especially with women. Online chat has helped me gain the confidence not only to approach strangers, but to keep the conversation going comfortably. Dating is much easier now that I am more comfortable around women and approaching strangers.
  3. TxRedheadGuy
    I am in a somewhat opposite situation as you Sparkly. I am a 32 y/o guy who has an attractive 20 y/o coworker that I like. Conversation is good between us most of the time, but I am still a tad nervous when I am around her. Though I like her, I would feel very uncomfortable asking her out or dating her, simply because of what I call the "Perv" factor (I feel a little like a perv dating someone so much younger LOL) . The previous poster does have a point about older guys often having "skills" that guys your age often do not have.
  4. TxRedheadGuy
    Well, having sex definitely adds another dimension to a relationship, regardless of whether you have been together just a few days or years. I agree with Laboheme that that if you have been together for a significant time, the transition is usually more natural. A wide range of things can happen after having sex the first time though, ranging from getting closer to each other emotionally to things being awkward or downright uncomfortable. How it turns out depends on you and your partner.
  5. TxRedheadGuy
    I frequently end up staying late at work, and go in on my scheduled days off. I have a couple reasons for this. 1. I have this unexplainable sense of duty to my job, I don't know why but it even gets to me sometimes, mainly because I act as problem solver for other techs there. 2. I do have a female roommate. I admit I have stayed scarce during the PMS time of month, but also so we get some privacy. There are times I just do not care to see her when I get home or have to listen to her incessant whining about stuff.
  6. TxRedheadGuy
    I feel as if I let her down horribly as a friend. Many times during those days before I thought about contacting her family and telling them my concerns, but was afraid she would feel I betrayed her trust if I did and that the best thing I could do was just be there to let her know she was cared about, so I just tried to talk her out of it and be there by her side as long as it took.
  7. TxRedheadGuy
    Yesterday a friend of mine Marie (yes the same Marie from my previous posts) overdosed on pain pills, sleeping pills and liquor. Her family is under the impression that it was simply an overdose, but I spent the 3 days prior trying to talk her out of suicide and into getting some help. She is currently in a coma, and I am wondering if I should tell the family that her OD was a suicide attempt, and show her family copies of the correspondance where I tried to talk her out of it so that they can get her help if she pulls out of this coma? Had she not survived, I would definitely keep this to myself, but since she did survive I want her to get the help she needs - I just don't know if I should bring this bad news to the family.
  8. TxRedheadGuy
    Very well written Rozi Sometimes the stuff we don't normally express are the things we most desperately need to express. Hugs TRG
  9. TxRedheadGuy
    Trimmed, with a moderate bush coming in second, shaven third.
  10. TxRedheadGuy
    I don't know why I am so weak but when she popped up on my IM I couldn't help but talk to her. All the old feelings came flooding back, despite her saying we would never be. In the end she said what happened between us was just her letting her hair down......left me feeling used and like nothing more than a summer fling - tossed aside when the freshness wore off. I caved in at her first words......just couldn't bring myself to say goodbye and I don't know why that is...........other than I am weak. Other friends have been trying to fix me up with somebody else - guess as a distraction but I just can't seem to even let the walls down the slightest, yet someone who tossed me aside can walk right through them.........
  11. TxRedheadGuy
    Very good Keep up the good work
  12. TxRedheadGuy
    If not a jesting from the guys that I'll never live down LOL Thank you
  13. TxRedheadGuy
    It isn't so much the reaction I am hoping for, but the one I am expecting given that the other site is a military themed message board with a majority of members being active duty or retired military, so you can imagine the reaction of other sailors/soldiers/Marines to a male sailor posting poetry.
  14. TxRedheadGuy
    Well, in addition to posting it here, I also posted it on the message boards where me and her met. Not sure what kind of reaction I will get from others on that board, but I know for a fact it is only a matter of a few hours till she sees it.
  15. TxRedheadGuy
    Looking back I have So many questions unanswered What once was clear is now so blurred A future assured cast now in doubt Between us was an electricity So filled that none could deny An intensity such as this man Has never before felt or will again We shared common thoughts Your dreams I thought I knew My dreams you did know My heart was held in your hands All my years of pain now had reason Anguish felt to better appreciate you My heart knew never to let you go To give you all of myself without reservation Your voice calmed my darkest nights Illusion was mine that I calmed yours Hope brought into my darkest hours Life brought to a dead soul Was it all just an illusion before my eyes What was my misstep that cost me your love Was I imagining something that didn’t exist Or was something precious destroyed for fear Love and compassion offered to you instead Of the pain and anguish he gives A choice I thought would be simple Now made inexplicable to me This garden I offered you in ruins now lies Without rhyme or reason Paths destroyed hopes battered Bridges burned in silence I bid thee well on the road you take Mine shall not be so easy Filled with the memory of what could have been And crushed by what never shall be
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