rightfromthestart

true story [ life is spooky at times.

garbage man oh garbage man........ fish heads fish heads, rolllie pollie fish heads! lol to be serious fer a moment, when u think about it - if keef richards can still be alive, surely cats like us in here can to. i was thinking about something the other day - about the lengths i used to go to, make like a danny kay jester, just to make my gurl at the time have a giggle when she was in the dumps and it made me take a step back, do a happy dance, check my vital organs [wink] and everything was still working great. so, i took my foot off the gas, and grabbed a triple, triple and thought - what a ride indeed! stay kewl

"I wonder why you put only some of your friends on a pedestal." i have seen this pedestal concept alot in here. and i find it quite puzzling. what happens in someones mind that makes them make the association between admiring the qualities they see in someone else to having that be a judgement on theri own self-worth. how does a positive become a negative? how does doing something for another become in that person's mind a sign that they don't measure up. for example: when u start to learn how to play guitar, you don't go to someone that can't play the guitar, you go to someone that knows how to play, and you learn from them and in that process become your own unique artist and then share that back with them. it is a giving situation. it boils down to an inability to actually see your own worth, and see it as shown thru the eyes of another. it boils down to viewing the world with a chip on your shoulder, that everyone looks down on you and that gifts from the heart are might to belittle you. i truly don't understand how someone allows their mind to think that way, or have a past influence their present time after time. see, what happens is they feel that they can only better themselves thru themselves, and until they form the ability to allow others in, they never will. and because they are making a judgement based on fauly reasoning, they will view everything that way. my advice for people that do this, is to try this - for one whole month - allow someone that you know loves you and lean on them regarding issues you run from, and slowly you will see that they are not poisoning you, they are showing you the respect you deserve and should have about yourself. anyhooooooooo, rambling now. lol stay kewl

someone else might not....that is where communication comes in because when u are dealing with an issue that desolves a relationship there should be no grey area. and whatever the person feels is cheating to them, even if u don't agree, you must always respect their opinion on it because u are not them. what it boils down to for me is this, its not the act of cheating on someone - whatever is done is not important. what is important is that they have turned a page in their mind where they no longer are attached to the person in a way that would prevent that. i know i have done some outrageous things in my lifetime, and by the definition i just provided, if i had ever 'left a person [as i described] they would see it in my eyes and i would not be able to lie about it. its something that runs in my family. and in a way it is a shield that prevents. so, to those of u who have cheated or have been cheated upon, do not let 30 seconds out of a lifetime impact the person you truly are nor your future. we all make mistakes. we are human.

Two of us riding nowhere Spending someone's hard earned pay. You and me Sunday driving, not arriving On our way back home We're on our way home We're on our way home We're going home. Two of us sending postcards Writing letters on my wall You and me burning matches, lifting latches On our way back home We're on our way home We're on our way home We're going home. You and I have memories Longer than the road that stretches out ahead Two of us wearing raincoats Standing solo in the sun. You and me chasing paper, getting nowhere On our way back home Cadd9 G G/D Cadd9 D We're on our way home Here I stand head in hand, turn my face to the wall G D F G C F C D If she's gone I can't go on, feeling two foot small G D F G C F C Everywhere people stare each and every way G D F G C F C D I can see them laugh at me and I hear them say ay ay G C Dsus D D6 D Hey you got to hide your love away Hey you got to hide your love away G D F G C F C How can I even try, I can never win G D F G C F C D Hearing them seeing them in the state I'm in G D F G C F C How could she say to me love will find away G D F G C F C D Gather round all you clown, let me hear you say ay ay G C Dsus D D6 D Hey you got to hide your love away Hey you got to hide your love away

if someone cheated, in whatever way, they always have a reason for doing so and i am not the person to make a judgement on them. it is their decision and whether u know or not is not important when a relationship ends. for me, the reason is theirs whether i agree or not and i neither condem nor confront what is truly a personal decision. that person is still the person u saw as someone great - the only difference is that you are no longer associated with them or responsible to/for them anymore. u cherish the good and let the bad go and move forward and wish them well. i know that sounds stupid - but that's just me.

didn't the cold war end when henderson slid the puck past tretiak? my take on what you have posted is this: when someone is cracking jokes about previous hard times or thangs like that that means they are over the hump and have moved on. and not only have they accepted that the past is over and just the past but they have no desire to start things up again. it has been my experience that whenever i hear someone talk about things that way, they are only trying to break the ice and let you know that whatever was, is no longer and that everything is kewl. they are just being themself and friendly. nothing more. its really not that complicated. and in the end, the love you get is equal to the love you gave.

his ex-ex. its easy to make mistakes via email. did you use you fake email addy to contact him? maybe you sent the email to the wrong cahp? you know like when you dial a wrong number and say, 'hi is moana the vampire there?' [because you like to kid around] and someone's dad answers and says 'julie, its for you' or maybe this person is just a grumpy old bugger hmmmmmm....or he is on drugs or that operation he was supposed to have really didn't turn out the way everyone had hoped. my advice is - be nice to the nice and don't allow grumps to ruin yer day

I was trained at the institute of blah, blah, blah and I've had over 150 relationships over the last 2 years and was married each time. Whilst there are some exceptions, there are many lessons I've learned from each failed relationship. Here are a few of the 'insider tips' from my life as a killer bee. 1. How to stay in a bad relationship: get clinically depressed and start thinking 'I bet she thinks I'm sexy in this bathrobe. three day old bed head hair is such a turn on. 2. It's OK to be alone in your own home while a gaggle of strangers eat steak and watch tv : See no.1. If you want to be alone, it's important to make sure that every room is your house is occupied by someone else – that way sleeping in the car doesn't look like a bad option. 3. You don't have to be alone for ever – there is always someone just as spaced out as you are on the internet: there are some very ugly and obnoxious people lurking about in la-la land but remember some of them might actually be people you know – so, pretend you are someone else and always leave your computer on. 4. When you get dumped, pretend you had no idea it was coming, and run around like a chicken with its head cut off. If you manage to do this right, everyone will think you are insane and that will make it easier for the dumper not to try hooking up again. 5. When the dumper has fears of being dumped, there is an increases the probability that they will dump the other person because that way they win – remember, love and marriage is a game, its all about manipulation and control and power – and the shame of having to face up to the fact that the leafs are a better hockey team. 6. Being from a different social class makes a relationship difficult because back in the day of serfs and warlords you could never move up in status. 7. It's not wrong to be clingy or independent but a clingy person and independent person just won't work and a clingy / clingy won't either, and a independent / independent couple is doomed as well, and a semi clingy – semi independent couple has no chance…think of all the possible varations! Wooo hooo 8. Most people cheat during at least one relationship in their lives – because using generalizations to justify your cheating is the only thing you could think of at the time you were doing the nasty with that guy from firestation #69 9. When people are ready to move on from a relationship, they are often lining up the successor. It's not right but hey, welcome to the school of hard knocks. Its important to have something lined up and you should really interview a number of them because you really want someone that will understand and love you for your morals and values. 10. Beware of "breakdancing". As soon as your partner slips back in time, she's gone. 11. LDRs have their own problems – so create a time machine and only share it with that dreamy guy you are humping. 12. Sometimes a relationship fails because of someone's behaviour but most of the time it's because someone was just using you until they got bored 13. You can't choose who you're attracted to if you are attracted to many you sure are allowed to keep all on board for rainy days 14. Many people with promiscuous pasts go on to have marriages with other cheaters 15. In a relationship, boundaries need to be in place and barbed wire installed and stun guns really help to ensure those boundaries are respected. Drifting apart is a natural outcome of boundaries so keep adding more and more to your list until you have run out of ideas. And yes, eating peanut butter sandwhiches with your mouth open is a dealbreakers! That's just so gross and unacceptable.

bright guy! leaving his passwords on your laptop. my question would be what the hell was he doing on yer laptop anyways? lol. hmmmm, personally, i am the kinda person that leaves the comp on all the time - if my ex wanted to sneak a peek - i'd be more offended that she just didn't talk to me rather than feeling she needed to sneak. heck, when you think about it, anyone that leaves their comp up and running and passwords in up view really must not be hidding anything because doing that they are saying - hey, if you are whacked, go ahead. in most cases, the snooper will find and read into whatever they see and make their own assumptions. personally, i don't take much stock into people doing online stuff unless they start mistaking fantasy for reality. u know u could play sims2 forever and not think you are going to actually be a part of that game! lol. but i have seen it happen where before lose track of things and slip away. personally, i have known people that have over 500 online pals and that's freaky man! my advice is if u think you are going to find that love of your life in some chat room then you have slipped over to the darkside. most people go to chat rooms because the communication between their partner has ended and they are simply bored. problem is some know the difference between reality and fantasy - others don't. a few quotes fer ya! cheers! There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. thereforeeee to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. thereforeeee, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down. You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories. When you judge people, you have no time to love them. Love: The irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go. Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.

that was very nice. you should really think about becoming a writer. or whatever it is you want your life to be.

I'm looking through you, where did you go? I thought I knew you, what did I know? You don't look different, but you have changed I'm looking through you, you're not the same Your lips are moving, I cannot hear Your voice is soothing, but the words aren't clear You don't sound differnt, I've learned the game I'm looking through you, you're not the same Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight You're thinking of me, the same old way You were above me, but not today The only difference is you're down there I'm looking through you, any other way Yeah!, Well, baby you've changed, ah, I'm looking through you There are places I'll remember all my li--ife though some have changed, Some forever not for better, some have go--one and some remain. All these places had their moments, with lovers and friends I still can recall, Some are dead and some are living, in my life I've loved them all. But of all these friends and lovers, these memories lose their meaning, when I think of love as something new Though I know I'll never lose affection for people and things that went before, I know I'll often stop and think about them, in my life I'll love again Though I know I'll never lose affection for people and things that went before, I know I'll often stop and think about them, in my life I'll love again. In my life I'll love more.

I don't care if you never come home I don't mind if you just keep on rowin' away on a distant sea 'Cause I don't love you and you don't love me You cause a commotion when you come to town You give 'em a smile and they melt And your lovers and friends is all good and fine But I don't like yours and you don't like mine I don't care what you do at night Oh, oh, I don't care how you get your delite We'll leave it alone and just let it be "Cause I don't love you and you don't love me I got a problem ... can you relate? I got a woman callin' love hate We made a vow we'd always be friends How could we know that promises end? La la, la la la la La la, la la la la I got a problem ... can you relate? I got a woman callin' love hate We made a vow we'd always be friends How could we know that promises end? Walk out if it doesn't feel right, I can tell you're only lying. If you've got something better tonight Then don't mess up my mind with your crying. Just walk out in the rain, Walk out with your dreams, Walk out of my life if you don't feel right. And catch the next train; Oh, darling, walk out in the rain. I have come from so far away Was gonna put a ring on your finger. If you've said all that you've got to say Then please don't feel the need to linger. It's raining outside of the city; My poor feet have walked till they're sore. If you don't want my love, it's a pity. I got a problem ... can you relate? I got a woman callin' love hate We made a vow we'd always be friends How could we know that promises end? It's time to go home now and I've got an aching head, So I give R the car keys and she helps me to bed. And then I tell her, as I turn out the light, I say, "My darling, you were wonderful tonight. Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight."

Ending a relationship is never easy. When you feel you must end a relationship most people find it challenging as they have feelings towards their partner and do not wish to hurt them. More often than not, breaking up is as hard on the person ending the relationship as it is on the person being broken up with. Realize that a person is breaking up has nothing to do with caring about another person. Caring about somebody and wanting a relationship are not the same. The majority of people on this planet do not like to hurt others, especially somebody they have been close to. Guilt has been used more often than not to keep relationships together. Fight this urge and believe in yourself.! When you allow guilt as a way to stop a break up you not only cheat yourself out of having a good and true relationship, you'll foster resentment towards the other person which could lead to greater pain and heart ache in the future. Why would you want to be with somebody who makes you feel bad by allowing you to feel guilty? Respect yourself!!. A man should exit gracefully by planning the break up, to minimize the grief caused to his partner Don't just ignore her hoping she will notice and go away. You might have learned a little bit about push /pull as a term we use in seduction. That only tends to bring somebody in closer. Which is the exact opposite of what you want. . The I think you're a great girl and I don't deserve you line will seem ok to her at first, but later on she will start to resent that. She could also go into how you DO deserve her and try to convince you. Honesty really is the best policy. Treating the relationship, and the person, with respect and dignity helps soften the blow. When you break up, Do it in person. Show some integrity and sincerity to tell her that the relationship isn't't going anywhere. In our workshops we teach how verbal communication is only 7% of the total communication between people. If she also sees closed off body language it will be easier for closure for her eventually. Telling somebody you are breaking up in person is never easy, but you owe it to her to break the news to her personally. This means not on the phone, definitely not over e-mail, but rather, face to face where she can get eye contact and read your body language. The universal line of " we need to talk." should be given in advance. This allows her to prepare for what is coming and helps soften the blow a little bit. Do not put too much time between the "We need to talk" and actual breakup as the waiting time in between is very uncomfortable if delayed long. On doing some research on this I read a suggestion about breaking up in the exact same place you met if possible. This is to suggest that the relationship has completed a circle. A place where she has a lot of happy memories might help neutralize some of the new sad ones. Ending a relationship gracefully means speaking our piece without blame or judgment and not taking responsibility for another's feelings. It is important to make eye contact,and give body language that is open while you are communicating (which suggests you are VERY open to what you are saying) than give closed off body language after finishing your piece. To suggest you are not open to hearing anything else. Say your words sincerely, leave no room for doubt, and never back down- especially when she starts to cry and you feel horrible. Than give that person some space usually a few months at least. Do not try to get cozy with the person as this can really mess with somebody's head a lot as they will use this as hope that you are getting back together. This is the only way to keep pain to a minimum when ending a relationship. The decision to end a relationship is usually made by one person rather than the couple together. But the decision affects everybody, and involves them in a long process of separation and divorce. The personal and emotional process is separate from the legal process; even without complicated legal and financial issues to resolve, the upheaval for every member of the family in the personal process is profound. This affects children, grandparents and the wider family. Most families experience a substantial drop in their standard of living after separation and divorce . Children can be badly affected by the process of separation, and will at the very least be anxious about their relationships within the family and about the disruption in their own lives. Before making the decision to end a relationship, it is important to appraise honestly whether things are so bad within a relationship that there is no alternative. To help assess things clearly, there are three headings which might help. • Is it possible to make changes within your relationship? • What, if any, practical steps might be taken to improve things? • Are there any clear advantages in separating or divorcing - and if so, what are those advantages? MOVING ON It may be time to move on from a relationship when: • Unhappiness with the relationship persists for a significant amount of time. • There is unresolved conflict. • You are staying in the relationship to avoid hurting your partner. • It seems as though trust cannot be rebuilt. • You are considering pursuing a relationship with someone else. Some individuals stay in a relationship because they are "afraid" to be alone -- even when there are no feelings of love for the other person. Using a relationship as a security blanket to protect you from loneliness isn't fair to the other person and doesn't give you an opportunity to grow, learn about yourself and find out what you need. If you're in that type of situation, ending the relationship might be best for you and your partner. ENDING A RELATIONSHIP Ending a relationship is a hard thing to do. There could be feelings of guilt, fear of emotionally hurting your partner, fear that your partner may take it the wrong way, or it could be that feeling of wondering if you did everything possible to save the relationship. Although ending a relationship is easy for some, for others it can be a difficult thing. If you feel it is the best option for you, then you need to follow through no matter how difficult the process may be. In some instances you may find that your partner feels the same way, and in others your partner doesn't realize what's going on. Holding on to a relationship that is over will only make the relationship worse and become more of a strain on you and your partner's life. If ending a relationship were the best thing for you, then it would be the best thing for your partner. Some tips: • Be honest -- with yourself and your partner. • Be respectful -- end it clearly and compassionately. • Be clear. Don't expect your partner to know what is going on. Explain the situation and your feelings fully. • Explain how you want the relationship to end (friendship, no contact, etc.). WHEN THE LOVE BUG STRIKES AGAIN Every relationship is a learning experience. If one does not work out, use what you have learned in the next relationship. It's also important to remember that every relationship is different—with various strengths and weaknesses. Avoiding comparisons between one relationship and your current situation will help you focus on the benefits you're experiencing today. Relationships are a healthy part of life. Enjoy it when it is right for you and when it is not, don't worry. The best is next to come!

look at it this way, while any form of abuse is unacceptable - there will be times in everyone's life where they do things that will hurt but the key is understanding that there is a difference between someone with a real and engrained abusive personality and someone where circumstance played a role. those who are not 'true' abusers will recognize that and make every attempt to ensure that never happens again - like u have. so, be thankful you have seen the light, that you see the triggers and that u are making your life better. this is a good thing. u are not a loser. keep u the good work and i wish u much success and happiness.

yah, when i look back at those times - i really felt like a pioneer. there were only a hand ful of people i new that had done that while everyone else frowned upon it - saw it as a 'last resort' - loserville. and, in many cases, these sites are filled with questionable folk that all have various reasons for even being there in the first place. i knew a woman that tried that the same time i did and we would compare notes. she would get 'first messages' from men that would state 'hi. i am in love with u. would u marry me and come live in japan with me.' or, 'wow! u are hot! lets get it on!'. and i would get messages from 60 year old biker chicks that lived 500 miles away from me and they would send me a message saying 'i like your picture - that's all i needed because i am your soulmate. please send me 600 bucks so i can get out of jail because i have been kidnapped'. shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhesssssh. yah, those were the best days! lol to be honest, i think i probably have a couple profiles still up and running, ones i set up as a lark from boredom, that i never even checked back on. i remember having a myspace thang for a while to simply chat with people that seemed interesting to me but in almost every case, the 'story' of their life was so freaking weird - that even just talking about everyday stuff seemed kinda spooky. i still keep getting emails from a couple of sites to inform me that 'someone has shown interest' but because i never wrote down the info, there is no way i could delete them - and so i just don't pay any attention. all this to simply say, anytime i have gone on a site to 'find' someone to 'connect' with [twice] - somehow the fickle finger of fate points me and the other person in the direction of each other almost immediately [usually within a couple of weeks] and then i just stop going to those sites because - well, duh! stay kewl

i think u will find comfort once u really accept that something someone did is something you feel will always keep u from returning so think about how real that is for you and it will allow your heart to stop yearning and that's when the advice of your mind will have more of a 'say' over your thoughts and you will find peace and calm. this is just about knowing that you truly have no doubt about things and wish you did doubt - so, just accept what you know is true and that will stop being an issue for you. hope that helped.

if it is a validation that, what u went thru has helped u now and in your future, well, of course - and remember just because u are up posting and they are not doesn't means anything. so, stop comparing what you are doing to what they are because what you do has nothing to do with them. just be yourself and don't let what other people think enter into the picture.

if contacting someone is something u can't handle and will only be bad - do not even give it another thought. sometimes, it is best to never contact someone again. so, while some can because they are confident and secure - some can't because it would be problematic - either reason is kewl.

just accept reality and let go of that other part of the 'what if' and just be yourself.

if a relationship is what u are thinking about regardingcontacting someone who was toxic - DO NOT DO THAT. if it is simply to chat and shoot the breeze - sure. as long as things are no longer toxic. figure out why you are thinking about that, whether it is doable, and make your own decision.

online personal dating sites now

i think that would probably be the best person to talk about that with because it was with them that u both made mistakes and they would be the real one that could understand and actually give good advice because when u think about it, even though things didn't work out between the two of u, if you are thinking about asking for their advice and wanting their feedback, that means that you would obviously take their opinion seriously and know that you both still care enough that you just want to support them. and just thinking about asking them that means there was a level of respect between both of you - and that's actually shows respect. if you are both in a 'good place' where you can do that without having your past together influence things - then go for it. btw, i just got back home from seeing an incredible concert with my gf and i have to head back over so if anyone replies to this post i will check back in a few days.

my 2 cents - the next time that 'idea' pops into your head [about wanting to tell someone about someone], think about the emotion and reason behind it. is it attached to a negative? of course, it is - and how does that serve your soul? it doesn't. so you should never say something to that person because it is none of your business.

Heyduh - have u ever seen the movie 'blow', 'scarface', 'traffic', 'wired'? have you ever heard stories about heavy cocaine users like stevie nicks link removed the point being, never associate those wonderful first feelings with something as evil as cocaine – read stevie nicks's story. ihere is nothing glamorous about cocaine. it is evil. So heyduh – maybe you should think about using another way to describe that feeling you are talking about ok? "they may seem boring for the most part, but every now and then they do something EXCITING .. to give each other that cocaine addiction again" "after about 2+ years, a couple who survives the relationship, their physiology (i know i am spelling that wrong) .. changes drastically .. the chemical reactions they have when interacting with their lovers is more along the lines of emotional bonding, attachment (ie. less passion, romance and sex) ... when people have sex in this stage of a relationship, it arouses feelings (ie. we still find the person physically desireable) ... but not the crack cocaine sorta high that we felt early in the relationship ..." Feelings at the End of a Relationship The following are common, normal feelings often experienced when a relationship ends. There is no right or wrong feeling to have - we each react to the end of a relationship in our own unique way. • Denial. We can't believe that this is happening to us. We can't believe that the relationship is over. • Anger. We are angry and often enraged at our partner or lover for shaking our world to its core. • Fear. We are frightened by the intensity of our feelings. We are frightened that we may never love or be loved again. We are frightened that we may never survive our loss. But we will. • Self-blame. We blame ourselves for what went wrong and replay our relationship over and over, saying to ourselves, "If only I had done this. If only I had done that". • Sadness. We cry, sometimes for what seems an eternity, for we have suffered a great loss. • Guilt. We feel guilty particularly if we choose to end a relationship. We don't want to hurt our partner. Yet we don't want to stay in a lifeless relationship. • Disorientation and confusion. We don't know who or where we are anymore. Our familiar world has been shattered. We've lost our bearings. • Hope. Initially we may fantasize that there will be a reconciliation, that the parting is only temporary, that our partner will come back to us. As we heal and accept the reality of the ending, we may dare to hope for a newer and better world for ourselves. • Bargaining. We plead with our partner to give us a chance. "Don't go", we say. "I'll change this and I'll change that if only you'll stay". • Relief. We can be relieved that there is an ending to the pain, the fighting, the torment, the lifelessness of the relationship.