MyTeddyBear
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My ex called me last night...3 weeks NC gone to crap
MyTeddyBear replied to MyTeddyBear's topic in Breaking Up Advice
Actually he is 38 years old. One thing I've learned: Never judge a man by his age. It's interesting when it comes down to brass tacks, an individuals TRUE colors shine through. -
My situation may be a little different from a lot of people on here. breakup story 168681&highlight=myteddybear[/url] I am currently 18 weeks pregnant with our child. He was wishy washy in the beginning when I first told him. Then, after a few weeks past he seemed accepting of the decision to keep the baby. Then, 4 weeks ago he basically told me, he didn’t want this. He couldn’t do it. He didn’t want the relationship... blah blah blah..... I wrote an email 3 weeks ago, saying that I was done. I needed to be on my own. And he needed to be OUT of my life. I wasn’t mean in the email, just straightforward and honest. At that point I had enough stress from this man. Ok, he started calling last week, but I never picked up the phone. He left messages sounding totally distraught. I felt bad, but I knew what I was doing was right for ME. He called last night, I didn’t pick up. Then he called again. I picked up. He seemed shocked and his voice was shaky. All he said was that, he needed to hear my voice and then asked, “ are you still talking with me”. What? Duhhhh! Did he read my email? Then he asked if my belly was getting bigger and how I was feeling. He cut the conversation short and said he will call this week. I said “ok”. Honestly, I didn’t have time to think about anything. now I am really upset at myself. Because all day long I’ve been thinking about what it would be like being back with him. These past weeks I was getting used to the idea of doing this alone and accepting that I will do this alone. Now, i feel like I'm waiting for that call again. I’m back at square one and it feels really bad.
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not always- mine came back then left again.
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Considering breaking off the engagement
MyTeddyBear replied to Tom_Bombadil's topic in Breaking Up Advice
omg! wow... one word "shallow". i'd never marry someone like this. i think u know the answer..... -
Yes, thankfully. Everyone says I'm better off.... I don't feel better off.
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He said, he thought it might be best if he were no part of his child's life. but i don't think he was convinced of this. He seemed upset when I said no contact. Then I told him, you said you didn't want any part of this. I'm not sure ... but right now I can't speak to him or see him.
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My boyfriend and I ended our two year relationship this weekend. Yes, we broke up before, but this was different. We were different. A little of the back story: I am currently 15 weeks pregnant and he wasn’t happy with it at first, then he seemed to accept it. Then a week and half ago he decided, he couldn’t do this. He said, he just can’t. His doubts were so strong about himself and our relationship... He didn’t want me like “that”. His love wasn’t strong enough to do this. That was painful to hear. There are more details, but at this point it just doesn’t matter. It was a heartbreaking break up. He cried like I have never seen. I felt and still feel like a thousand knives in my heart. Here I am, pregnant with his child... alone... brokenhearted. My friend gone. I wasn't what he really wanted and he wasn't what I really needed. If only we would have communicated better and used or minds instead of our hearts. I did tell him in no uncertain terms, there is NO contact. He didn’t like this. But he understood. I’m trying to get some perspective on this situation, but I can’t seem to. Where do I start? I am really lost.
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Congratulations! And I'm so sorry you have to go through this crap. Sounds like you have great support from your family. Just love that baby... that is all that REALLY matters.
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Me... I'm due August 11th. In the beginning I wasn't too happy about it. Now, I am really looking forward to seeing my sweet baby. CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL
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This man isn't a kid, he is almost 38 years old. I think he's afraid that this child will take away this precious freedom and lifestyle. It's funny because for the past two years our relationship have been his focus. He was so “in love”. Riiiiight. Sorry, but I’m a little bitter about “love”. My focus is about this baby now. I can't wait to see him or her. Thanks everyone for your support
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A little of the back story I decided to keep the pregnancy. He was very upset at first and we didn’t talk for two weeks. He finally called me up and said he was sorry and he that overacted. He said, he was just scared. We got back together. He went to my first doctor appointment. He was seemed very interested. I smoked and he wanted to make sure I had stopped. I did. He spoke with the Dr and asked about certain tests. He was great. Loving and very kind to me. We talked about money and were starting to make plans. We were going to move into together and he seem overwhelmed with the enormity of the project but pretty positive. He even talked about marriage many times. I was finally feeling a little relief and I was relaxing with the pregnancy. I was happy. I felt very loved... Well, last Wednesday he finally told his parents. After he told them, he got very weird on me. He called me and said, he wasn’t ready for this, it’s just not right. I can’t do this... and so on and so on.... Basically the same things he said before. He said, I should have had an abortion. I was so pissed! Not this again! After that phone call, I avoided him when he’d call. Then, Sunday he called and I answered. The first freaking question out of his mouth was “is it still possible to have an abortion?” I am 14 weeks along. I said NO it isn’t. The phone called went totally down hill. He said, because I decided to keep this baby... then I’m on my own so to speak. He said, "why should I do something I don't want". I told him I am done with his crap. after going back and forth for over an hour, I hung up the phone. Why did he do this? Is he psychotic? I will not take him back. He had so many chances. I am so moving on.... Thank God I have the support of family and friends. Thanks for listening ....
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Thanks for your advice. Yes, if I knew then what I know now about this guy I would have never dated him. We've been together for about two years. I met him here in america he was originally from Europe.. In the beginning of our relationship he had to go back( to europe) and we thought we’d never see each other again. Within a few month he got a job here in the states. He took the job for so we could be close and start having a life together. There was no doubt in my mind this guy was totally serious about us. But as time went on he didn’t like his job so much and didn’t like the lonely nights. He started smoking more and more, because he was lonely and bored. Anyway, we could only see each other on the weekend or days off of work. So it was really tough. He gave up and broke up with me in September. I was devastated, but I accepted it, because I thought maybe he was right. Maybe he wasn’t the man I needed in my life. Well, 3 weeks later he called to tell me he couldn’t live without me. We got back together. 2 months later I got pregnant (while on BC). He freaked out. I know this man loved me. He’s actions proved it (moving here). He didn't have to do this. He had a good life where he was. But he wanted to be together. It's all he would talk about... Right now, he is in Europe for Christmas, and I told he I just can’t speak to him now. Every time we’d talk about the situation, he’d just upset me. I need some time to really think. He did say, if I did have the baby, he'd stay here. He said, "I'll do the right thing". I don't want to be a duty. It should out of love. And I don't see that. I don't know what will happen. I know he's thinking about this. It's burning in his head. I hope for him that he gets he's head clear.
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I agree. He needs some serious therapy to see the light. I only wish he'd take the necessary steps to change his life.
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Yes, indeed. There is only so much I can take. I still don't know what I will do with the pregancy. That is really the only thing I'm thinking about. Toughest situation ever.
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I broke up with him.
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My reasons why my "man" is not the right one for me. (I wrote this for fun, but while writing it was very therapeutic) 1. He called ex girlfriend on my phone on her called birthday. After he got off the phone, I asked who that was? He said, it was so & so, his ex- girlfriend from 17 years ago and they are friends and he called to wish her a happy birthday... awwww how sweet I was pissed. He said, because we (him and I) are together I shouldn't have give up my friends. Of course, I agree, like a freaking idiot! 2.Didn’t buy me anything on my birthday because he thought I wanted a engagement ring. So bought me dinner and a movie. Hey, the dinner was 75.00 bucks!! (I was reminded a few times that evening) 3.Broke up with me on the phone on the weekend he was supposed to come visit. Gave me the excuses .... he wasn’t able to give me what I wanted. Wasn’t strong enough, feelings weren’t strong enough... blah blah blah... 3 ½ weeks later HE initiated contact for a reconciliation. Yup, I took him back.](*,) 4. Is very cheap. Always talks about how much something cost. Drives me nuts! Never had a man do this. Maybe it's a European thing? 5.Sometimes disappears for days. Last disappearance was for about a week. Then I called him and I asked where have you been? He said, I’ve been hiding... hahahaha *** ? hiding? 6. Told him I was pregnant a little over a week ago. He was understanding at first. Wanted to be supportive. Spent weekend together and he seemed willing to talk all possibilities. The next week I’m bombarded by phone calls, telling me “I can’t handle this”, “this is very bad”, “I don’t want this”. Then he minimized our relationship. I apparently had stronger feelings then he did. Who knew? 7. Has no job stability. 8. Uses too much pot and drinks too much. 9. Is lazy. 10.Has no goals for the future, 11. Doesn't want a family with me because he isn’t stable, smokes pot, lazy and has no goals. 12. Is depressed because he isn’t stable, smokes pot, lazy and has no goals. So what do you all think? Is there a future with this guy or what? He does have good his qualities, too (Btw, he's 37 years old!)
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My boyfriend doesn't think we should have the baby
MyTeddyBear replied to MyTeddyBear's topic in Pregnancy
We never discussed ending our relationship. I do believe he would be financially supportive. But, who knows? I guess it's something that needs to be discussed. -
My boyfriend doesn't think we should have the baby
MyTeddyBear replied to MyTeddyBear's topic in Pregnancy
Thank you for your kind words. Yes, this situation is more than complicated but i don't see it as impossible. My heart tells me to keep this baby, but my logic knows how hard it will be if I am alone. I have 3 kids: 10, 7, and 5 they are everything to me and i can't imagine my life without them. -
here's the story: I told him and he was more than shocked. we spent the weekend together discussing what we could do and how we should handle this situation. He even brought up marriage. His biggest fear is not being able to go back to his country. He feels like he'll be trapped here in America. He is close to his family and wants to be able to share his life and child with them too. I totally understand this. But he knows I can't just pick up and leave for Europe. We talked on the phone last night and now he tells me he doesn't think he can handle this. (My family situation) I have 3 children from my previous marriage. But they are taken care of financially by their father and I, so I'm not asking him for anything where they are concerned. He said, he really never planned to stay here (in the states) forever. Then he tells me, he has doubts that his feeling are strong enough for us to stay together. He said, he never was in a situation like this and he never thought about one person forever. All his relationships where 2 years or less. He's 37 by the way. Anyway, I'm really at a loss. I didn't expect him to jump up and down with excitement. But I think I did expect him do whatever it took for us to stay together. I thought I was "that" important to him. He led me to believe our realtionship was serious and very important. But now, I don't know what to believe. Is this situation impossible? I actually feel guilty and ashamed about being pregnant. I feel like if I keep the baby, he will either leave me or stay out of guilt. if i have an abortion, i will end up hating him and myself. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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I fear his job situation and also, that he isn't ready for this. If I knew he had a stable job and was sure about staying in the states, I'd feel more secure. He is very unsure about what he wants and I fear this will make him do something he isn't ready to do... commit to 'us' and our relationship. I want us to be together for the right reasons... Does that make sense?
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I was on the pill and took it correctly. I felt sick for the past week or so and tonight I took a home pregnancy test... it was positive. My boyfriend and I broke up in September then got back together in early October. All in all, we’ve been together for almost two years. He is really unstable in his job here. He might be laid-off. if he loses his job, he’ll have to leave the country. He’s originally from Europe. Some Backround: I am scared out of my mind right now. Help .... any advice would be appreciated.
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We have been talking things over and we plan on seeing each other this weekend. I can't help but wonder if I let him off too easy. He knows the pain he put me through, but I don't tell him how I was truly devastated. I feel like I'm afraid to. Maybe I'm scared this will push him away. Should I share my feeling this weekend. Or should I wait a while? I feel like our whole relationship has changed. And it has.... It's like starting over and I'm not sure if bringing up the past is such a good start. When should I talk about how it affected me when he left? Any advice?
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For women: What makes you want to have sex?
MyTeddyBear replied to FiredandHurt's topic in Sex and Romance
Self confidence. Very important. A bit standoffish, I like a little bit of challenge. He must smell good, not cologne... I hate that. Just clean. No yuppie types. I like a little bit of edgy. There's more but that's all I can think of for now. -
Getting over my broken heart.....
MyTeddyBear replied to Vynde's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
wow, this is really tough. I really don't know what to say. When I read this I started to cry, because I have felt the same things. I still do. Keep reading here and posting. You'll see a lot of people are in your shoes. again, I'm so sorry.... -
I believe what you're saying it true that I keep giving and giving.... and it's wrong. But I do believe he has serious emotional issues. . I do believe he got scared of our situation, which was leading to a marriage. He bailed. It's pretty simple. I am a woman with three small kids and for a man who has never been married before and that has never had any children this was a BIG deal. To take on that kind of responsibly is hard enough, let alone a man with major insecurity issues. Fear is a powerful thing. NC is the way to go.