MyTeddyBear

people don't always mean what they say and ALWAYS go with your gut feeling. Also, always say what you mean. Don't waste time. And don't let others rule how you feel about yourself. (that's what i'm still working on)

Last time was tuesday, I called just to see how he was... nothing heavy or weird. He seemed sad, he kept saying how strange it was not talking to each other. I said, i thought it was good for us now. He said, he didn't know if that was true. He said, he was happy I called him. I felt in control of my feelings. I felt strong. Today I came home from work with tons of thoughts in my head. I wrote an email... but didn't send it. I saw he was online, so I IM him. I just said "hi", that's all..I thought for sure he'd say something. He didn't responed at all. I set myself again. I let him control my feelings...again! I feel weak. I'm a mess.

i know... i just feel like i owe it to us. but i know you're right.

I know it's coming. He'll do it soon. I know him. I feel like I should speak with him. I feel I need to give respect to the relationship. We were very serious and there are so many questions and what "ifs" floating around. Right now, I don't what to say? I feel like a wounded animal. I feel physically ill from this whole ordeal. I'm literally afraid to talk to him.

My bf recently broke up with me.(see thread) Tonight I was asked out on a date for this weekend. It's very tempting . . . but will I end hurting myself? Obviously I'm not over my bf and I have hopes of getting back, but I say what the hell? I'm sick of sitting around feeling sorry for myself. what should I do?

BornToResist: I know you're probably right. it just doesn't make sense. but i'll have to accept it... some how. thanks for being honest.

you're right... we are adults but he doesn't seem be handling this like an adult. will he call at the end of the week. who knows? if not i'm done. this is beyond ridiculous. and if he's seeing someone else, damnit, just tell me. how frustrating!

i just called him. it was short since i had to go pick up my daughter at the bus. i asked him, how he was doing? he sighed, and said ok. he said, it's so weird not talking with you. i said, it's probably good for us right now. he said, i don't know what's best, i don't know anything. i said, i gotta go now, but maybe we can talk later tonight. he paused... and said tonight, ... not tonight. in a few days. at the end of the week. he said, is that ok? like he wanted me to say, why don't you call me sooner? but i didn't. i said, that's fine. take care of yourself. he said, i don't have to tell you to take care of yourself, you always do. Huh? what does that mean? strange...

Talk me out of it. Please! my story:

I'm on day 3 of NC. it's so hard because we talk everyday. he needs to figure himself out before we talk again.

your story is so similar to mine, it's scary... wow!

Our conversation on Friday ended badly and I haven't heard from him since. the conversation ended like this: me: so, this is it? him: I think so... me are you doing this? (I'm crying at this point) him: i gotta go, just let me go now. (he is crying and clearly upset) me: please... lets not end the conversation like this. him: I gotta go now... me: i love you him: let me go (this went on for a few more times) then he hung up. he has never hung up on me. never. he turn his phone off. I could tell because he's on an internet phone service. the next day he left his phone on all day. perhaps waiting for me to call? now, I'm doing the NC. I can't take this up and down emotional roller-coaster. it's so strange, the weekend before was good. he seemed fine and happy. sure we had a little fight... nothing huge. he just said something that hurt my feelings and he thought it was a joke. anyway, there is some more of the story. by the way, this is a great site! reading stories on this sites has helped me so very much.

That's great! Wow...

I’ll make this short. I’m 33 and he is 37. I’ve had a serious relationship with this man for a year and a half. 4 months into our relationship he had to go back to Europe because of his visa issues. When he left we didn’t know when and if we'd see other again. It was heartbreaking because we totally fell in love. Anyway, we talked constantly on the phone 2-3 hrs a night daily. Yes, daily. We grew closer and closer. 3 months later he landed a job in the states. He would be living 100 miles away from me. But we thought we could managed this. He came back here in January, then he had another visa problem. So he had to go back to Europe. We thought it wouldn’t take long to get the situation cleared up. It took 4 months! It was hell. But he made his way back to me. He has been here since June and things were going so well. We only saw each other on the weekends and recently, we spent a 9 day holiday together. Friday, he calls to tell me he’s not coming this weekend. I said to him, he could’ve said something earlier in the week. Then he goes off saying he has been thinking a lot about the future and where “this” is all going. He said he has fear. Fear of making me unhappy. Fear that he will it up. Fear that I need more. (Let me add, I’m divorced with 3 children. He loves them and they love him too. ) Also, he said he had fear that if we got married he’d have to stay here in the states and he didn’t think he’d want that. No, he isn’t perfect. He has his faults, but I love him deeply. Underneath it all he is a good man. Let me also add, he has never had a stable girlfriend in his life. He told me that most his relationship lasted only 2 years or shorter. He told me this was the first time in his life he ever thought about settling down. My question: what the hell happened? Did he get scared? After all the effort we put into this, is it really over? He moved to a different continent for me. Why is doing this? Any advice would be appreciated.