Here goes, my bf and I have been together 10 mnths. The first 8 were great. I 've been myself and we talked a lot, there is a connection for both of us. He tells me that he has never been able to talk to a girl like he does with me. 2 mnths ago, he starts acting weird, basically runs away, says he is scared, has cold feet. He loves me and doesn't want to lose me, I freak out, say lets work it out and he agrees, I suggest we make some changes though. I have 3 kids, they adore him and he says he loves them.
In the beginning I tell him they are my everything, both of their dads are visitors in their lives, I am the constant. He says he loves kids and I could tell he was being genuine with mine. 2 weeks ago, same issue, this time, he says he is scared, sometimes just wants to do his own thing, I say that I've never stopped him, he also says, my 3 kids aren't his and he is traditional, has always wanted his own kids. He is afraid he is making a big mistake. Whoah!! He is 39, has never been married and his last gf/fiance cheated on him at the end of the realtionship. He also has told me, he has been alone for so long he is used to it being this way. I get extremely hurt feelings and think, what the heck!!!
He said he wanted alot of the same things as me, loves my kids-they love him, now is says it's too much sometimes. He says he has lots of stress right now, job stress, etc. I don't want to add to that. I must look after myself and 3 kids alone, told him he is being unfair and selfish. I also go to school at night. This whole thing has thrown me way off. He is very moody, has pulled back from our relationship. We fought and I asked him to leave, I wondered how he can give his love to me and my kids and then take it back? I don't know if I am doing the right thing but I've told him this is his problem, I will listen and be there but I must be concerned with myself and my children's welfare.
I also have said that by not dealing with this he has made it my problem. I can't just let things slide I deal with them or they drive me crazy. I realize we are different in this way, he tends to brood, over-analyze everything. He told me he feels he is wrecking a good thing, duh!! I am trying to be patient and give him his space. I am trying to put no demands on him, I made my peace with it and everytime we talk I tell him I'm sorry he's going through such a hard time, feel bad for him.
He says he can't understand why he is like this, why he doesn't sleep when he's not with me, why he is so lonely without me. I feel like saying get a clue!! I've said this is his issue to figure out and I will listen if he wants. Anybody ever deal with a guy like this??
