charlotte_skye

Hey rk, I oce had a bf who did what you did, except he didnt give me the benefit of letting me move on, he kept me there sayin one day he would hopefully change, be able tobe with me, it was months of tears, held on hugs, goodbyes and finally i left the country to return to my home country, and to this day he still talks to me although we lost what we had now because it faded out from all the maybes and what ifs.......it just hurt so bad , it was so prolonged because he wasnt strong or selfless euff to just let me go............your doin the best thing u can do by lettin her go, dont second guess it.......it hurts, it hurt that guy i was once with im sure but well were still not together, it was never goin to be, he knew that n thats why he broke it off but he obviously had the tormen u ahve now of second guessing it cos there were feelings there, but i think u know what your doin is right n im tellin u it is also because she needs u to b strong enuff to note mess with her head, what she is ogin thru is SOOOOOOOO confusing, cos ive been there exactly, to have this guy u love so much say he just cant be with u even th o it hurts him to nt be with u n he DOES have feelings for u is the most confusing thing to hear ever. cos u have all these possibilites ie: feelings missing you, but your not together n not oging to be cos they choose not to be. I dont know why im tellin u this cos i know u know what ur doi is right, but i guess when u said u second guess every day i thought this might be of some comfort form someone who knows what SHE is feeling n that what she needs if for u to not go back on what u say UNLESS u have stopped second guessing n know for sure. In my own opinion though, im scared u r afraid of commitment , but i dont know u so i cant say, but ur story is veery similar to that of the guy i was once with ( not my ex as ive previously posted about, he was an ex b4 him) n he used to have anxiety attacks ( after every time he saw me, which makes me think it was the anxiety of not being able to BE with me) n well he admitted to me in end he couldt committ, that he could only ever get close to a girl agian if he KNEW FOR SURE it would work, n well theres always reasons a person can think of if they think hard enuff n stress hard enuff for things that could make the rship not work, but maybe these things r just exscuses they make up form fear of the rship. I can imagine ur confusion, i hate it when u dont understand whta ur feeling, its the worst. All u do know tho is that u rnt clear headed n so best thing is to not be with her or talk with her, if u really wanna know if its a prob U have maybe get some counselling n find out. maye think really hard on whether when u start to feel like u arent gettin along with a gil is when ur starting to feel its gettin too serious, ur gettin too involved or attached........that should give some indication........ when u ignored her was that straight after u broke up? did you explain to u were going to ignore her n it was cos u needed to cos u hurt? I do wanna be friends with my ex, is such a long involved story.......he gave me so much.......im not talkin romantic story exagheration here, im talking i was NEVER goin to date again after i had a VERY abusive rship, i lost friends etc everyting after this rship cos i had NO TRUST left i humanity, i had nuttin, i was scared of ppl......... then i met him, he showed me there r still good ppl, he is the only person i know who is alll good in heart, n i cant bear to loose someone like that. of course it would hurt to hear him talk about a new gf, even tho he said he cant be with someoe til he sorts out his issues, i kow he may, but i would wanan b friends if he didnt break up with me, i prob would have with him, as he needs to get better, he does need to be happier n get a job n feel better bout himself b4 he can committ, i understand this enuff........he needs to get self esteem n then b with someone, when hes happy with himself n his life..... I just dont uderstand why he didnt reply to my email.........even if he needs time like u do, why couldnt he just explain that?

you sound confused, it some parts of your post u sound certain and that u were not happy with her n that there was no spark for u with her, n then it sounds like u dont wnat to b without her. i think u need to think about what it is that makes u think u do want to be with her, because all the things u have mentioned about ur relationship make u unhappy. maybe u just hate being alone? myabe its just the guilt confusing you? if not, then i would say maybe you need time to yourself. it sound sliek most of the probs in your relationhip r because u arent happy with you! my ex was just like u, esp in the way that his studies n him exceeding in them was his main priority, and although i supported that, i think he resented that my main priority was him, becaus eit then made him feel guilty about his main priority not being me. It sounds liek u get sad and depressed alot. do u suffer from depression? it sound slike u got moody n the resented her for it, by syain she didnt get u out of it, thats not completely fair, she loves u so of ocurse it hurts her just as much to see u down. you need time on your own n get ur stress under control n moods n then be with someone, that way maybe they will b your priority , you wont be stressed n resent them. my ex also suffered depression n would get distant as soon as he was failing an assignment or something, in the end he brok eup with me i believe because he wnated to just focus on gettin his life better ie: do well at school , get better job, b4 he could ocmmitt, knowing his priorities werent n couldnt be with me at moment. which is fair enough. In a way i thank him for realising his faults with being with me yet not being bale to REALLY be with me until he was happy with himself, his lifetc n got his priorities sorted to b in a healthy rship. if though you just feel she is boring, i would just let her go. if thats whats made u break up with her u obviously dont feel enough for her. ca i ask u...........did her having u as her priority make like her less? why were doing things with her boring? did she not make an efffort for conversation etc? or was it that u just didnt enjoy her company? why did u not want to be around her? i didnt understand your reason on that one. how do u feel for her now? are u in love? are u keeping in touch with her? how much r u huting, how much do u miss her?

Gosh i dont even know why ur on here, ur so intuned, u understand and analyze ur issues thoughts and u do what u know u need to, its like us o got it under control n ur doing everythin right i think. i guess its just the remaining feleing crappy about it that brought u here, i sympathise. do u reply to her messages? do u ever send her any? Like i said i sent my ex n email, basically just said i wanted to know how he was, that im movin out soon which im happy bout, n that im not gonna just go on n on bout me n that i was sorry for lack of intresting content but just wanna know how he is........really short n no pressure........he never replied........n now im more hurt then i was when we broke up, cos that i understood, n that i can accept cos i want what he wants, but this, this is diffrent, this is syain to me he doesnt want to b in touch with me that we arent goin to b friends n that i aint so cool with, that hurts me, cos i dont get it, we didnt fiight, or fall out, we dont ahte each other, we both admitted we stil had feelings when we broke up ( of course i did but he said he didstill also) so its not that we hate each other, or he has any reason to hate me, so why arent we able to be friends? we said we would be. if he isnt ready yet to b friends or whatever, why cant he just reply to my email sayin hi i just not ready yet but i will call when i am or even anything, even just a hi, why cant he just do that? isnt he scared that by not replying i will get hurt? like if i didnt reply to him i would be scared that he might not talk to me again. isnt he scared i will do that to him? he could NEVER exspress hwo he felt, ever, he used to cry out of frustration, n that would lead me to crying cos it hurt me so bad to see how hard he was tryin just to simply say how he felt but he just couldnt, its kinda why e broke up, so he can get over his issues, n work it all out. he would b in full tears out ofrustration, it was heartbreakin to watch. he wrote me an email like 2 days after e broke up just to again explain, i guess he cares bout me, he always had made sure he did what was right by me. but in the email he said he di.dnt kwo why he broke up with me n that it gets to point where he doesnt even knwo what hes feeling and that he was wrong to say to me that we had a slim to none chance of getti back together but that he needed to work out his issues i dunno, i just dont get it, why he cant just reply with even just a hi, which leads me to thinking hes just ot wantin anythin to do with me. which also way way confuses me. do u get it?

rk, Your not soft, it onl took me amonth of no contact because for the first time in my hstory of break ups i didnt have any issues i need or felt the need to over analyze.......u see in the past it would take me anything from 4 - 8 months to get over someone ( except my 1st love which took a yr) but i feel that, that was because i had things to worry bout, like if i dumped them i would sit for days on end thinking did i do right thing? ow im lonel..........should i get ack with em? or if i was dumped things liek did he ever really love me? what did i do wrong? etc etc n i think this leads to not being able to move on........but with mark, my ex, i had nothing to worry bout becaus ei had COMPLETE trust in him n his decision n i KNOW he loved me n i KNOW he hasnt done anyting to hurt me, n i know i TRULY love him because for the first time in my life im ok to let someone go because its what he needs n like they say if u love them u will set them free........i never used to believe that You are amazing i think, u r in this situation whre u could be so unstable n messing with ur mind n hers but u r smart enough n strong enuff to know that it wasnt right n to stand by it even tho u miss her.......if the spark wasnt there then it just wasnt there.........but i think u do need to ask yourself was it not there or did i not want it to be there deep down, subconsciously. Is there something that makes u so picky? is it a defense mechanism? DO U NOT WANT TO GET CLOSE TO PPL N USE THIS AS EXSCUSE WITHOUT KNOWING? I used to be like that. I was scared to get close, i aways saw things wrong with ppl.......eventually tho, if this is what u r doing... u will loose someone, try n get em back n when they dont come back realize how stupid u r being.......thats what happened to me n thats the worst feeling. just make sure this isnt relevant to u. To me it sounds like u do love her, u way care bout her, but ur being putt off cos its not perfect. If it is that u truly have nuttin to talk about with her etc then i think ur doin the right thing, but if u still love her even tho u have nuttin to talk about i think u done wrong thing cos u still love her even tho u have nuttin to talk baout n all that matters is the feleing u get..unles sit causes probs in ur rship.......u just need to work out whats important to u

First off, i too am a BIG fan of being dumped then dumping someone.........when ur dumped, u cant do anything about it except accept it, theres no deep thoughts, regrets or wonderings, but when u dump someone theres the guilt, the pain the often regrets the pain of hurting them, the wondering if u should haves etc etc, i think alot of ppl believe if u dump someone that means ur over the r/ship, so not necessarily true! I hav once dumped someone i cared VERY deeply for, i loved him but wasnt IN love. it killed me, i missed him, slept with his shirt to smell him ( lame i know) i even calle dhim n hung out wih him ( i thought so we oculd still b friends n that this would make him happier but it doesnt) but i did the right thing because i wasnt in love n i knew deep down i never would be. i got over it, but i knda only fully got over it when he did, so i think alot of what ur goin thru is to do with feeling bad for them., n the fact its so on your mind is because U r the one who made the decision thereforeeee u feel like its up to U if u do get back together or not, so of course ur thinking alot. My latest ex broke up with me 6 weeks ago, it was a very honest n purely good r/ship, we broke up cos hes unhappy with his life at mo n needs to work it out, n sufferes depression, i support this, we never fought n had an amazing r/ship, but at mo im very hurt because i took a month of no ocntact to get over the break up n now thsat i am over it enough to b friends i wrote him an email, just a quick hi how r u sorta one, cos i way wana know how he is cos of course i care bout him, he was very upset when we broke up, n said we would keep in touch eventually. BUT he hasnt writtenback n that hurts! but now im remembering what its like to dump n well maybe hes findig it hard, n maybe he isnt ready or wanting to be friends........... what do u guys think? is that how u feel? do u really feel HURT when she writes to u or calls u or sees u? cos when i dumped ppl, even tho i was upset it didt hurt me to hear form them it wsnt to painful.... is it poss its too painful for my ex to b in touch with me? p.s MENTOR why did u dump ur ex?

my ex has extren low self cofidence. he used to be worse b4 i knew him, ppl tell m kids at school thought he was weird cos he was so quite n shy. he suffered depression badly, n he still has even when i was with him but not too severly. the thing is he doesngs to prove to himself hes better then he htinks, for example with uni he HAS to do it all by himself to prove i to himself, he wont accept any help n then gets very depresse dn down whehe cant do it. at times hes goten to the point where he has so many things to do like exams, uni, college, working out etc that hes exhausted. he started working out at gym etc to make himself "better" n he does look better but his self esteem is so low. he used to cry n shake every time he tried to tell me how he felt. he csan never say how he feels n hes said it even gets to point where he doesnt even KNOW what hes feeling. anyways hes one of those ppl who has to do well, cos his low self esteem, he prides his dad on beinh a hard worker n aims for this also. The thing is at the mo he isnt working, hes been tyri o get job but because his self esteem he hasnt got an, i think this has to do with him breaking up with me. he broke up with me sayin he needs to sort out hi issues n probs b4 he can consider a serious r/ship. we were together 9 months n he htinks that is we stay together it will be serious n he aint able to be that right now. can anyone relate to what hes goin thru? is he pushin me away cos his low self esteem n cos not working n hes feeling pressure? ive given him space, i think he needs it, i just wrote him sayin im here if does need me. any advice to help me understand whats happened? happening?

my bf and i were together for 9 months. throughout this we nver fought, we got along great. he suffered depression sometimes , that was hard, n he could NEVER tell me how he felt openly, but god did he try, he used to try so hard that he would start cryin out of frustration, he found it SO SO hard to ell me how he felt bout me n what he was feeling or anything to do with emotions. he sai it used ot get to point where he didnt even know what he was feeling. anyways, we broke up on valetines, he said he wasnt ready to be in love, in love to him means marrige n he isnt read for that. he told me we had a slim to none chance of getting back together. 2 days later he emails me sayin he doesnt know why he felt we had to break n that he was wrong to say we onl had a slim to none chance of gettin back together, its just he didnt want me to sit here worrying about him or put plans on hold, but instead be happy. he has strong work ethic n he hasnt been able to get job. he has alwahad SEVERE low self esteem, and i kow this owuld be really taking its toll ( not gettin work). esp for him, as he goes on working hard and making money n proving to himself he is better then what he thinks. im just wondering, do guys get stressed n push ppl away or just need space to work emselves out, even tho u had such a good thing?!!!!!!!!!!????????????????? what is he doing? and seems we havent had bad break up or fallen out or naything, why hasnt he been in touch with me? doeshe not even want to be friends? whats goin on in his head. does he just not love me? i havent caled hm since i replied to his email, in which i said how im here for him n also want what he wnats cos its what he feels he needs n i want him to be happy. i didnt say anything upsetting or bout r/ship. i was just supportive. the way we always r with one anothr.

why isnt he keepin in touch tho. we ended on good terms n never fought even when in rship.

my bf of 9 mnthsand i broke up. on ok terms, he has things he needs to sort out ie emotional probs n depression n al etc. anyways weve always got along and even when broke up it was understanding and were both cryin n huggin n holdin hands. we said we would b friends n keep in touch. thing is we emailed once day after broke up bout reasons we did etc, n now i havent heard from him since ( almost 2 weeks). i sent him a xt last week just sayin i would like to knwo hwo he is sometime if he wants to let me know sometime. he never responded, that was a week ago. im confused. we have no reason to not b friends, we dont hate each oher, were supportive of each other. why isnt he keepin in touch?

do you guys think that no contact really works? what are your thoughts? I have emailed my ex and txt once and he has replied both times. thats all the contact we have had and that was in the first few days. its now been 2 weeks. im doin very well. im doing the no contact for me and for him tho, for us to heal and give him his space. im just wondring though, do u guys really think that nc is what makes a person wnat u back? wouldnt it b that it makes them miss u n thereforeeee gives them the IEA they wont u back but then if u do get back together they will realise they arent happy again? or is it tha u have to do nc for them to realise they miss u, n that that does and will work? whats ur thoughts on nc? do it ornot and why? my bf n i broke up on good terms, have never fought. \

Thanks for your reply. Even though you were being somewhat harsh reality , your post made me feel good, because it has reassured me that everything i have done has been right thing to do. Since we broke up i have emailed him in return to his email, and sent him one text message a few days later to say that if he ever wnats to let me know how he is or if he needs me im here, that was it. I have put anything but pressure onto him. I havent emailed him again or asked why he hasnt emailed. Im more then happy for him to have his space and i support that. I havent even really cried that much because i trust him so much n know he does need this time to be alone and if thats what he wants then its what i want, so i havent even been THAT upset we have broken up cos i accept it whats best for him and in end me. In my email i let him knwo how mazing he is to have loved me enuff to break it off as he did, and to have been such a good person to me etc. I let him know how much he meant to me, how much i understand this n that if he needs me im here.

My bf and i were together for 9 months, everytnin was fine cept for him suffering depression here n there and not being able to EVEr say how he feels. He used to get so frustrtaed n upset....even cry form frustration, that he couldnt simply tell me how he felt about me. He said he liked me 9 out of ten ( this is what it comes to trynig to get him to explain how he feels). But that in love to him means ur ready to spend rest of your lives together n hes has to work stuff out before hes ready for that. anyways weve broken up now after 9 months, when we broke up i asked if there was any chance we would get back together, he said a slim to none chance. That hurt. anyways 2 days later he wrote me an email as promised explaining the break up alil more, saying he needs time to get over his issues etc b4 he can consider having any r/ship let alone a serious one. He also said that he was wrong to tell me we had a slim to none chance of gettin back together n that he only said that cos he wnats me to be happy n not miserable worrying about him etc and putting plans on hold. I replied a erally happy positive email , sayni im ok and that i understand whats happened ( we never fight, both really trust each other, and even when broke up we held hands n kissed one another goodbye, we never are bitter r anything etc) The thing is its been 9 days since then and he hasnt emailed since. does that mean he doesnt even want to be friends? does it mean there is no hope of us gettin back? or is 9 days nothing to stress about? is he just taking time to get over his issues?

I agree also, i feel like love doesnt/cant conquer all. but we all over analyze at times dont we, and wonder if what we think / feel is how others do also. so i gues su guys are sayin that just because hes sufferng depression n isnt ready for commitment, n needs time no how own to work it out that it doesnt mean he doesnt love me?

Your name is a coincidence.....my exs fav band. I wanted to thank you for your response. I have spoken to him about his depression, but i cant force it because he REALLY cant exspress how he feels about things...........he starts cryin n gets really upset and frustrated, and i dont want to push it. I just support him, i tell him im here n i write him happy positive emails n that so he knows im still here. hes my best friend and our r/ship was thje most honest and respectful one i know of. I trust him. I was just confused because ppl keep sayin if ppl really love u , you would still be toegther kinda thing, and i just dont kwno if its ever that black n white. He said he didnt think he felt for me as much as i did him but that he often didnt knwo what he was truly feeling. I guess like u say, u can love someone and be in love but other things u have to do before it can be a fair n honest and a r/ship that will work. i guess sometimes u have to break up n work on yourself so u can get back together and for it to work. anyone else agree?

Im wondering........ ppl say how if you really love someone you will find a way o make the r/ship work. That loves takes over all other worries. I wonder though...........my boyfriend of a yr and i have broken up. We broke up because he isnt ready for a forever r/ship , marrige etc, n thats what he has been brought up to believe "in love" means. he suffers depression n cant exspress how he feels, he says it even gets to point where he doesnt know what hes feeling. He used to cry over frustartion of not being able to say how he felt. Anyways im wondering.......if he really loved me wouldnt he be ready for it n be able to still be with me? doesnt love, if u really are in love, sposed to mean u can conquer anything and make it work.? orw hen ppl say if he really loves u itll work out mean that sure ppl even if they do really love u break up but because they really love u you will work it out in the end? im so conused. can u be in love with someone but still break up?

Hi, My boyfriend and i were together for 9 months, until we broke up just now. The thing is also, ive been really ok with this. I feel liek the reason im ok is cos itrust him, n i trust him that hes told me the truth, n he was so honest with me, n i knwo he does have feelings for me, n i know how hard it is for him to feel n understand hwo he feels so i guess i also unerstand it. I cried all the day we broke up n alot of day after, but since the email and that i havent cried much, i miss him etc but i feel ok. I feel like i feel ok cos i trust him n care enuff to wnat what he wants. do u think its weird im dealing so ok? ive been thru bad break ups b4 n im stronger n over gettin depressed. what do u think?

does anyone here think that being in love means you want to spend the rest of your life together? personaly i think being in love doesnt necessarily mean that u want to spend the rest of your life together but more that ur open to that possibility and that ur happy to just be with them n being in love is more so just a feeling, a feeling that u really care and adore them etc. u see my boyfriend says that being in love or sayin that ur in love means that u want to spend the rest of your life together. cant you be in love but not necessarily say your goin to spend the rest of yoru life toegther? alsso if your not ready to fall in love do u think u can stop urself from fallin in love?

Hiya, my bf and i have been together for 8 months. I am falling in love with him and everyting has gone so wonderfyully so far. The thingis, im jus wondering what you think about us not spending all our free time together, i mean of course you dont have to spend every day together but there are times when hes only stayed over a night n then the next day and night he stays home........he has nothing to do or noone to see, he just stays home. He usualy comes oveer the next night. Do you guys think its normal or weird that he foten spends nights at home when he doesnt have to, when he could see me? I dont think so, but some ppl think its weird when they come over and he isnt here nt hey ask where he is n i say oh i dunno just at home n they ask why n i say i dunno cos he wnats to be!?

Hi David.... Im glad i made you feel some strength, what your goin thru is such a HARD thing to go thru, gosh, i hope ur ok. Youll get thru it no matter what happens. Reading your posts, i remember exacly how i felt when i went through the exact same thing.........i met this guy and he was everything, i mean we larfed at same things, same humor, loved same things, he was gorgeous and we even wrote to each other every day for over a yr b4 i moved to his country to be with him......... sounds perfect right? nope. Out of nowhere, and in all this perfectness that we had , he just couldnt be with me, it just didnt make sense and made it THE hardest thing ive even been through, and because i knew he had feelings for me, and he did, i just didnt understand why we couldnt just be together. I had ni real closure and it was just so hard knowing he had feelings for me yet he kept shutting his feelings off. Because this was so confusing to me, i started to believe he must had been seeing someone else, he didnt love me, or he just used me. Now, after 3 years, we still keep in touch and i can tell you know it isnt because shes seeing someone else, it isnt because your not a challenge, its because shes scared and her feelings just turn off, she cant help it. This guy i saw was depressed after awhile of us goin thru alot bad things with him not being with me and me not understanding it and i really think their the same. He too was scared of being hurt again, and said he didnt want to commit unless he knew we would definetly workout, but i lived in australia and was only temporarily in his country, it just got too complicated and risky for his comfort, which is the same for her with you i think, with her not knwoin if yuor comlpetely happy with yourself etc its just too risky and complicated at the moment, also with her not being ready yet. This guy i was with did start seeing someone else, and it hurt me bad at time, but now i know he did it just for distraction, still it reallly hurt. I truly believed he didnt love me, and maybe he loved her, but he didnt love her, he just needed someone uncomplicated. He did love me, and he still writes to me even tho i havent seen him in 3 yrs...weve both moved on but i cant deny now he did love me. But it took me 3 yrs and to be completely over him until i understood it all. It was the hardest thing because we both had feelings for each toehr but still werent together, and that makes you wonder if theres isnt other reasons for that , that you dont know about liek maybe she doesnt love u or is seeing someone else, but it isnt that, it is just as she says....needing time etc. As for your question....all girls are different, many girls only intrested in guys that treat them bad, but theres no denying that speech is silver but silence is golden, juat do as she asks, play it cool, act like your ok with it all, tell her u care for her etc once more n that u wnat to be with her so she knows where u stand n then just let it be. A guy that kees persisiting is the biggest turn off for everygirl. I hope this helps, i hope u can read it, im kinda rushing. Take care. message me naytime, i know how hard it is. ask yourself if u really really do love her or if u just feel like u do now that u dont have her. Talk soon. Jem

Hi David, was just goin thru some non replied posts. I kind of chose yours cos i can relate to it, ive een in both positions of being in a long distance r/ship AND in a r/ship where i didnt know where i stood and was also EXTREMLY worried about bein too intense etc. The crazy thing is its always when your worried abut bein too intense that you usualy are. I know its so hard but pls just trust her, you have no trust and i knw how hard it is to trut when u have had your heartbroken. Think of it like this though, form what ive read you have NO and i mean NO reason to think she doesnt like you, she isnt serious, she isnt intrested. To me (and i really believe this it right) shes just worried about you. The fact that youve been heartbroken in last r/ship and wasnt that long b4 u guys started gettin in touch, and you do seem alil paranoid etc which is fair enuff but ild say shes just only ever distant when shes worried about those things. Maybe you should take some time and be alone, until your really ready for a r/ship. When you can trust and not worry. Trust me it works, i knew thats what i had to do and i did n know ive grown form it. And if this is what i think, ill guarantee you its what shes possibly thinking. I thnk shes thinkin maybe u need time also but she wants to be with u now. It will be hard for you if she does break up with you for bein too intense, pls just go with flow, you have no reason to worry. She has your pic at work, youve met her fam, u keep in touch every day....thats more then me n my bf n were very close. and you will regret it if she does break up with u for bein worried all time n needin assurance cos to be honest you already have it. take care

Hi, I have been goin out with my soooooooo amazing boyfriend now for 6 mnths, and im s fallin in love, the thing is i wnat to get hin the best pressie ever, he has bought me presants for our annaversary n they were so perfect and so i really wanna get him something special..... ive already got him what he has wanted but i also want to get him something special that represents our relationship sorta thing, maybe somehting that maybe one of u have gotten a partner n knew what a good idea it was....... Hes goin away also for awhile, n so i was thinking mayeb somehting that i have a part of and he has a part of so were never apart knida thing, anyone know of anything liek that can any of you help me????

HI, My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 months now and been sexually active for 2. The thing is, more then once now hes lost his erection just before weve started ot have sex, im scared this is because of me, even tho were told it isnt, i wnat to know what you guys think it could be. is it me? what are reasons for loosin it then? Hes the one whos mostly up for it, although i am aswell, hes usualy the one who starts the foreplay but then im just as into it. whats wrong? were both early 20's and lost our virginity to each other.

Ok for exzample, you and your ex broke up and it was very messy, you loved her alot but after you broke up they did some not so nice things to you because you treated them very badly, now your with someone new and you love them. Do you thnk how happy you are you broke up with that last person because now you are with this new person, or do you think you always have a soft spot for your ex's you loved and dont think liek that at all, you are happy your with this new perosn but you dont think how happy you are you broke up with your ex.

Hi, I need help, i desperately need to see from someone else point of view, just to see. Is this guy abusive? is it serious what hes done? how bad do u think it is? am i overeacting by ditchin him n thinkin its really bad? is he a loser? will he change? what woul du have done? My ex boyfriend and i broke up awhile back ( i broke up with him) but we remained very close friends. anyways he has THE lowest self esteem and puts on this fake frount to people, because he thinks everyoen will hate him, the thing is he hates himself so much and thinks he will disappoint everyone so much that he LIES LIKE NO TOMORROW! He also has a anger problem, he has pucnched massive holes into walls infrount of me, threatened my brother, he has gone so phyco at me before that i couldnt even breathe from hyperventialting. Once at a party we were playing about and he playfully slapped me, so i playfully slapped him back , this continued a few mre times until i supposidly hit him harder then i shoud have in the eye by mistake, he then stood up grabbed my face and said you f**kin deserve this and slamed his hand around my face so hard it split my lip, tho he was drunk and felt really bad. thi was the only time he had hit me out of 9 mnths of knowing him, he had hit me after that but so not as bad, more of a hitting my arm off him and squeezing it and pushing me out of his room violently. Not only this but after we broke up i went abroad, he then emailed me saying how much he had nothing in his life ( he hasnt worked since i met him a yr ago) and he wnated to go to school but didnt have money, he otld me he had applied and had got in but couldnt pay, he told me how depressed he was so i after much thinking and tellin him HE HAD TO COME UP WITH A PAYMENT PLAN, went with my 9 mnth pregnant boss to the post office and sent him 600 dollars, i had to take my boss as i couldnt speak the language and after much tryin i had to send the money just in a envelope as it wouldnt have got there in tmie otherwise. He then told me he didnt get into school and would send the money back....he never did, then when i retuned home i aske dhim where the money went, he todl me it went on his bond for his new apartment, i then found out he lied to me again as he had borrowed money of the bond loan company to pay for his bond, i found this out when i saw the card for it. everyone knows there is something not right baout him, so many ppl hate him and i still dont knwo the reasons why, maybe i never knew him. he hasd the worst anger, he looks at me lke he is goin to kill me, he gets violent n slams things, busts holes and punches things. he calls ppl really bad names n just goes off. even over smoke in the house. i knw he was very angry with his ex b4 me n thats why she left him but i dont knwo the full stories as he lies so much. i know his new gf is in danger and he will hurt her, i dont doubt if he had of got angry again with me around he would have beat me again. his fam dont have much to do with him and i just knwo theres so much dodgy stuf fi just dont know. ppl told me all his ol friends hate him now but they wont say why. i was told by one his so so mates that he had to chse my ex down a street and tackle him to stop him from beating up this chick who accidently hit him. when i confrounted him he then told me he spent the money on stuff.....i couldt believe it, i needed that money!!! it had been 3 mnths n he hadnt paid me 10 bucks, i had leant him money b4 this he was supposed ot pay me back n never did. he now owed me over a grand. I tTHEN FOUND OUT HE NEVER EVEN APPLIED TO GO TO SCHOOL BUT INSTEAD HAD EMAILED ME WHILE I WAS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD JUST TO GET MONEY! he said he was intending to go to school but didnt wnat to disappoint me when he found out he couldnt so he lied n made out he was going to be goin to school. i have since found out many things about him, like him havin bene in phyc ward for chasin his mum with knife. No tonly this but when i found out about him lyin to me about school etc i gave up, i tol dhim to leave me alone, he then continued on to tell EVERYONE THAT I WAS THE LIAR AND HE DIDNT OWE ME MONEYM HE HAD NEVER HIT ME ETC ETC. HE NOW HAS NEW GF AND HER MUM HAS JUST FOUND OUT THAT HE HAS LIED TO HER ABOUT BEING EVCITED, HE TOLD HER HE HAD JUST MOVED HOUSE BUT HE HADNT, HES BEEN BLACKLISTED. I kne whis new gf n i was speaking with her when she told me about how he had been working full time but just got fired , i told her how he hasnt worked for a yr and is lying to her, she is still with him, even tho she knwos he hit me etc she thinks he will change.

what i meant byu it never ending badly for me when i have taken my own advice i gave you was....luckily in my case each time i have just been honest witht he perosn about how i feel i actually find out alot more form them, ususaly we have started talking and i find out how they think n feel and with luck on my side each time they felt the same, not always did we get together tho, but we talked being honest with feelings and the best thing was they then understand how u feel n what uw ant and you get what u need form them, you feel more fullfilled. i knwo i cant say because every time ive told somsone how i felt n its worked out well doesnt mean it will for you, esp seems i dont knwo you or this girl and your current r/ship as mates, but if u think about this you will see whats better then just bein hnest, u will fid out what u need to, she will knwo how u feel n understand, and any girl who is half decent would nevere think less or hate a guy for sayin it just cos they didnt feel same, it doesnt happen lie that, if anything does go bad it will be her not feeling same and big deal she lives ages away right, theres no pressure on her im sure u will still stay very good mates n she will probably think more of u just by knwoin u feel so much for her which is always no matter who it is that feels thta way about u a lovely feeling, and if u r good mates im sure she will appreciate u think so highly of her seems theres no pressure. livin far away actuallyw orks in your favor here i think. releases alot of worries for when u do tell her for the both of you. From my point of view i cant see how it can go so wrong, she may not feel the same but i think u need to tell her, in the end if u dont it may effect the friendaship, and for your sake i think u need ot kwow whats goin to happen. hope helps see ya