charlotte_skye

SORRY i completely disagree..........i suppose this is where the fun of everyone having diff opinions comes in......... i just cant help but believe that 'if you love them u will conquer anything' theory is sucha myth........NOTHING is that black n white...... i have been in numerous rships..........ones that even tho i DID love them DID see long term i broke up with him because outside influences took its toll.........i wanted what was best for him........i wanted him to get better n move to a place where he could do so, he needed his time alone, because he asked for it, he had to go thru alot n although i stood by his side n was there majority of time by his side he needed me as just a friend not a lover while he was so sick. its just what he felt he needed.......(long story) sometimes things like money, families, long distance all can take their toll............everyone has a right to cold feet or uncertainty or confusion this does NOT mean they do not love you...... what about the saying if u let them go n they come back their yours to keep.........i know VERY OFTEN ppl get back with exs n it does not work out.........that may because the high majority of these ppl get back for wrong reasons and broke up for bad reasons to begin with........ just because my ex ( recent ex) broke up with me cos he was suffering depression and didnt wnat to bring me down doesnt mean i cant go back to him because 'obviously he didnt love me, obviously he quit on me'. thats just rubbish in our situation.He did realise he shouldnt have felt he needed to leave me n has worked on that, not everyone is perfect nor experienced in rships, not everyone knows what they want 24/7 as for always feeling like theres a cloud, well i dont, because we emained best friends for 8 months n that itself says alot to me, we formed a friendship which we didnt b4hand n is very important, n i feel even more in love, even more secure knowing we went thru so much n ende dout great he did what he felt he had to, sometimes emotions take over other thoughts n feelings......sometimes u get overwhelmed. sometimes ppl need to realise what they lost or work on themselves n then when they do come back realise their faults last time n work on em so it can work out this time......... my parents for example broke up when my dad moved back to england.......only to return a 6 months later n marry my mum...... she didnt think he quit on her, she just knew he needed time to REALLY think about what he needed/wanted its not healthy to always be bitter or think jst because someone left , when they honestly thought it was the best thing that they dont deserve another chance/thought................if they cheat or r abusive etc thats totaly different but noone is perfect nor are rships...........so best to not be soooo harsh i think

I agree, good post BUT one thing u said im not sure i can 100% totaly agree on and that was "Can I respect myself for taking someone back that thought so little of me that they walked away from the relationship?' im not sure that every person who breaks up with someone is ultimately trying to hurt that person, or is not woth a second thought evr again or is so horrible for having walked awa form the rship. I dont agree that someone thought so little of them just because they broke up with them..... i know alot of people who found it VERY hard to break up with their significant other BUT it was necessary and commpletely out of love n respect for that person it solidy depends on the situation/person etc

Can't thank you enuff for your insight butterly.........thankyou, sometimes we need to hear it

ok...... so my bf and i broke up in feb, we had been together 7 months when i told him i loved him, he had never had a proper rship b4, n has EXTREME trbl exspressin himself............so i dunno but i think it freaked him out. he broke up with me about 2 months later, said he wasnt ready to be in love, wasnt ready to get married n settle, n thats what 'in love' meant to him..... we broke up, i accepted it kissed him goodbye, we went nc straight up for month n then came back in touch n remained best friends(no sex nuttin, just friends) for 8 months........THAN it cAme back, the emotions n love, we got back together.......almost a month ago....... thing is i know he broke up with me for honest reasons, n i love that he never did one mean thing to me, n was always honest, i knwo how hard it was for him.......but my q is this.........why do so many ppl thinnk it isnt ok that i have accepted him back? as in why do ppl think u should never ever take an ex back?i love this man, he treats me amazingly, hes much more open n loving with me ( he always was but now even more so) hes the kindest caring honest person ive ever met, we r happy together, us breaking up n gettin back has been the best thing we ould have done cos we have worked on our lives n ourselves n we are in an even BETTER rship than we were b4 BUT i wonder tonight 'why do ppl say they didnt love u n shouldnt take them back?'. I dont agree with this but am just wondering ppls input/opinions. its just i was reading some posts about how u shouldnt want ur exs back cos they broke up with u, but i dont feel that way, i feel like im blessed that we have we have one another back, but was wondeirng other peoples opinions. its not like hes ever cheatd or lied to me..... am i silly for taking him back do u think? when we got back together he bought me a huge dozen long stemmed roses , took my breath away all beautifuuly wrapped in a box, personaly delivered when i got home from work.......took me out to dinner, sent me letter........etc etc.... picture most amaing person, honest n kind n thats him........im so happy, but just curious to your opinion thanks guys

wow thanks guys, wasnt expecting to many replies. and hubmano1 you read my mind, i also never thought a man would say no hahaha....... yu guys dont have to worry about me making this out to be a big deal with him......no way.....i have asked him maybe 3 times in past ( over a yr) things like hey can i.....u know? or me saying one day im goin to without even warning u (as joke), stuff liek that but only brought it up 3 times like i said, n i never go on about it, simply brought up n dropped the subject..........i have asked him why tho as i told u he said he thought it wanst clean.........he was brought up ok, although i dont knwo what his mum or dad used to say abotu sex so i dunno........in other areas he is fine.........he doesnt give me oral either, but thats ok im not too bothered as hes VERY good at what he does do for me . wink wink and i love him. i agree COMEPLETLY that its about wantin to pls them etc, its why its important to me, becaus ei feel soooooooooooo close to a guy when i give oral.........also i knwo im good at it n helps me buiild confidence .........knowing im drivin him wild.........hehehe ahh well, time will tell, thanks guys for ur input, n raykay, dont worry, even if he never feels comfortable with it that is fine with me, i just wondered what the reasons may be......... thanks guys

ok.... i LOVE to give bj's, in all my rships giving bjs is what turns me on most when being intimate..........problem is with my current bf, love of my life, i am his first sexual partner and he doesnt want me to give him head!!!?? he has never had it b4 and every time ive asked if i can he says no. i askd why once and he told me cos he thought it was gross cos isnt clean thing to do........ dunno if i buy this, he said he would wanna shower first, well he has showered b4 we have gotten intimate n he still didnt want me too what other if any reasons r there for a guy to not want oral done to him??????????im lost, n this is important to me.

awwwwwwww.....thanx ......... i can say same about you... take care.........ill keep u posted

wow, your quick. thanks for your reply. i TOTALY agree with you, i should have even posted my intentions of how to go about this ( if i do). I will DEFINETLY talk to him about this, unfortunately i cant tonight as he is working ( works all but 2 nights every week) so tomorrow i will def have a BIG talk with him, explin how i feel n MAKE SURE i point out that if at any time in any way he feels that either something , or this no sex thing is puttin a strain on any part of our rship to let me know asap, as i dont want this to jepordize it. Although it is something i need, but of course I will always want to know if somehting is wrong, or if it is causing problems so i can/we can reassess the situation, esp as it takes 2 to make it work hey, you have to meet somewhere n the only way to do that is to communicate. So i will be sure to make sure he knows this isnt just me making decisions, that even tho i need this, that i will work with him on this so it is something he is ok with n feels ok with. things have been so good between us, were both in such a better place, not only that but because we remained good friends throughout the 8 months i know how right we r, n that were together cos we wanna be not cos of need or guilt or anything else. thanks so much for your reply. ill keep you posted, any further advice is alwyas appreciated n needed hehe take care

Hi well my long story short, my ex and i r back together after 8 months apart. we broke up for honest reasons.......things he was going thru, our lives at time etc........we remained very close friends for 8 months until last week when we decided to try again........ anyways my concern is this........ although i trust him completely and always have, a certain somehting happens to u inside when someone breaks up with u, i duno how to pin point it but its like i need to take this slow, u know. it feels like if this is goin to work, i need to take this slow, so i can have full faith in the fact that what broke us up b4 wont happen again, that we have both moved on and learnt form the break up etc........its like were starting again more than 'getitng back together', and i want it that way. but seems it feels and is like were starting afresh i wanna take it slow, as in no sex for abit. i dunno why i feel i need this EXACTLY but i know it is somehting i need. We have slept together every night i have seen him since being bak together ( 3 nights) and it just makes it feel like bang were back to where we were, SERIOUS., and i aint ready for that yet, so i feel like maybe i wanna hold off the sleeping over part for now, but im worried about what kind of effect this could have. do you thnk this could be a negative thing in the end? would it cause probs? i know he wont mind and will respect it, but im worried maybe it will have an effect on our rship even if we r cool with it. what do u think? also my new housemate, she owns place doesnt want him staying over anymore, as shes older, has a kid etc n i COMPLETELY understand, and even more so ok with that seems i was kinda thinking of holding off ont he sleeping over stuff anyways. how important is sex in a rship when ur just gettin back together? is it ok for the dumpee to take things slow and hold off for abit? im living at this place for another 2 months.......

Sib, My ex of a yr, broke up with me on VALENTINES DAY, saying he was confused etc.........yes it hurt YES it hurt ALOT, and i agree with you that the best thing i did was move on, i got my independance etc............ 8 MONTHS LATER he comes back.........do you know what i did? i told him ....explained to him gently over dinner that i never stoped caring for him but during the 8 months we were broken up i HAD to move on, that the best thing baout us breaking up ( prob the only thing also) was that i reunited with my gf's etc n took up courses like photography that i had always wanted to do n that i couldnt have just waited i hope for him to come back, i xplained i loved him but i didnt need him nt hats they way i want it cos its the healthy way.........i explained although i am SOOOOO EXCITED we r back together that my feleings r not AS storng ie. i started to move on but i do have very storng feelings still and i knwo it wont take long for them to be back completely in love storng feleings........he understook this, i also said i had plas this weekend ( first weekend together since break up) that i had made before we got back together ( he understood) but i explained that we would go out for dinner on sun night instead............. the difference between yur story and mine is this: i also have and want to keep my independance and i explained that to him n he also wants it ( who doesnt) but that i would go out to dinner sun nht instead ( this is my input to making it work u see, it takes BOTH of you to make it work. he broke up with me because he was confused WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT HIM TO MAKE THAT UP TO ME???????????/// the way i see it n it is also the way i saw it when he broke up with me is that he is amzin n honest n a person who cares very much for me, so much that he did the right thing by breaking up with me, if u htink ur bf OWES u because he broke up with u, u need to think again..........ppl cant help how they feel, see him as a man n a good honest one at that for breaking up with u...........be thankfull for it, wouldnt it be worse to be with someone who kept how they felt form u n lead u on???????? no way in hell would i see someone else, go on a date with someone else even tho my bf broke up with me 8 months ago...............i want it to work so why would i do something that will surely make sure it wont work out...... what ur doing is so bad, no offence but its sooooooooooooo evil....that poor guy, all he did was be honest with u...... be as kind as he was to you, break it off now, as in stop even saying u will work on it with him your thinking is immmature n bitter. esp when u say 'my gfs say its ok" .......hmmmmmmmmmmmm......... even if your man doesnt find out etc...the rship is doomed as u appear to have no sense on respect or love DN had it when he said there is a major difference between being strong and head strong

I just started reading this thread, an in the beginning you were so on target, saying how u were over, ho wu dont deserve it, but mostly you pointed out how YOU HAVE PUT SO MUCH INTO THIS AND FEEL HE HAS DONE NOTHING BUT HURT YOU and now look........he called and its like none of your words matter to you anymore??????????? pls nj dont fall for it AGAIN. this is why nc helps because it doesnt allow your mind to be teased, i mean how much do we want them back but doesnt mean we should get back. i think u really need to let this one go, no rship shouldbe this much work, theres abuse there i would get out. the fact he said he sometimes wanted to beat the s**t out of you REALLY is concerning. you just told ocd to not be so available, you even had that realisation of how he KNOWS you are available and what have u done again? you have showed him still are. pls nj not just for the rship but for YOU move on, you wnat to be strong enough to go nc, you want to be strong enuff to not take this crap, u can tell in your posts, n yes it is hard but you can so do it, n u know what? when u do you will LOVE yourself for it. sooooooooo love yourself for it, but not oding this u will feel bad at yourself esp when it happens again n again. do whats right for YOU. you have amazings upport here, u can do it. i say move on, anyone who did to me what he did to you doesnt desevrve your compete devoted always there for u love.

Happened to me n my ex, can read my previous posts to see....... we broke up, friends for 8 months, got back together........ its not about if ur friends or not ,nor time, its whether or not there is still love n deep care for one another, thats what pulls it thru....... you shouldnt wait in hope of that tho, move on, live for urself, work on yourself, let things happen as they do....... alot f it is about patience, acceptance and not holding on in hope, cos holding on in hope causes stress, stress causes fights, which causes distance which causes problems and more complications, u need to get over her in order to be her friend first.........

Hey guys, i dont know if anyone has been following my previous posts but i have great news........i am officaly back with my ex. After 8 and a half almost 9 months later. If you dont know our story you can reflect back on my posts starting from feb. Any posts b4 that would be about old old exs. haha. anyways i knew we were thinking we were both back together after us kissing n cudlling n u know what all night on monday but nothing was concrete, so anyways i was just goin with the flow, wasnt needing to know where we stood, was pretty happy with life how it was , i knew i could survive with or without him, i mean its been almost 9 months, and i can PROUDLY say that whole time all i did was focus on me, not on us gettin back together, or on him, but on me, i gained my life back n my independance n that is what has enabled me to be so cool about all this, not even needing to know if we were bf gf yet......so anyways today when i got home from work he was waiting with the BIGGEST most BEAUTIFUL long stemmed roses i have ever seen!! that said it all. I guess ( dont know but i bet) that me having just focused on me n gettin my life back etc helped HUGELY in us gettin back together. cos when u do that there is no fights, no pressure, no stress etc, we were both able to stay good friends. when we broke u i accepted it liek a champ, i started to move on, i joined gym, i got new n more friends as well as spending more time with my odl ones, i started to love myself and i htink me dealing with us breaking up so well gave me even more confdence. even more self esteem . I felt great that i wasnt beggin him back or waiting by phone, i LOVED MYSELF for it. so for anyone out there waiting by phone or pining for them to come back DONT the best thing u can do is look out for yourself, make ur self happy n stand strong, u will LOVE yourself for it n feel AMAZING. i am really happy, mainly because i knwo im not happy just because were back together, as i was already happy, this is just another contribution. I am also happy cos we had such a healthy break up where we stayed friends n grew n learnt form the mistakes we made when we were together b4. I am so happy because we are both in such a better place, and we know for sur ehow much we mean to each other. I have had bad break ups in the past, ones where i begged after them n didnt move on for months on end, ones where i allowed myself to be abused n used n walked over, and now its like after al those lessons i have done it right, i dealt the right way. I moved on, i loved n looked out for myself only and i knwo it is also what helped us stay close, but that isnt why i did it. after we broke up i didnt contact him for a month, then we light emailed he wou call bout once a month, i never demanded reasons or nuuttin. then we caught up after about 6 months n started hangin atleast once a week ( sometimes a week would go by n we didnt catch up tho). then bang it just happened, he started rubbin my feet n saying what he felt for first time ever, held me like he was so scared to loose me again n then the roses n the kisses, n the way he looks at me. damn its nice hahaha. my advice: move on, look after you, u will be happy n love u for it, n they will love it also, stay positive dont live with bitterness or blame, dont dwell or analyse. just worry about you. think/make a list of things u need to work on in your next rship and or in ur life. do them. BE PATIENT, dont push for answers or reasons, give YOURSELF closure. best advice i can give

"Maybe the brain converts logical evidence into subconscious signals and we assume it to be "gut feelings".CRAZY I have ALWAYS said/thought this. they say 9 times out of 10 your intuition is right, they also say 80% of communication is non verbal........i think that the brain picks up this 80% communication ie. body language etc n notes it to be suss, then turns into subconscious thoughts causing uneasyness creating your intuition. the hard part is telling the difference between paranoia and intuition. but usualy there is a noteable difference in the emotion. Do you usualy trust him? what is the feeling exactly, as in what do ut hink is or could be up? what r the reasons for this? if none ild say trust it, if theres reasons maybe ur just being aparanoid i dunno onl u can examine this. as always trust ur gut tho

heya...... so how did your date go?

First off, you said in regards to propsoing to her " i love her and i do want to be with her for a very long time. "....You DO realise that marrge isnt for a 'very long time' but meant to be FOREVER?! Also the 3 reasons your gf gave you about moving in with you before marrige....her no 1 reason was that 1/3 end in divorce..........well im not sure how living together n then being married was what caused the divorce?? if u decided on getting married AFTER having lived together wouldnt the divorce have nothing to do with having been living together? 2. Her parents wouldnt approve. ok sure, its tough but how much do u live our life by what ur parents think? i agree u should listen n allow an influence but on something so personal i think should be up to her not her parents, but this is an ok reason and a personal one at that i suppose. 3. you wont end up proposing. I think this is kinda silly. She shouldnt not move in with you to hurry u up in maryring her. she should trust what u do n not judge or predict your future actions thru other peoples. But your asking for advice so i guess me talkin bout her reasons doesnt help, all i can say is maybe u should think about what her reasons say n mean to you n talk them over with her. personaly i think 7 months is WAY too soon to be thinking of marrige ( again personal thing). sounds liek thru your pos she is making decisions n ur just goin along with them?? why make all these plans? why nto just go with flow? whats the rush?

Hey my last bf was very shy also, they way i handled it was by not being shy myself, if u act like u dont even notice he is nervous or shy u help him feel more at ease, but by allowing eerie silences etc makes him know that u notice n even more uncomfortable. with time he will slowly begin to open up with u, once he knows u well enuff, but till u get there the best thing i found was to be alway shappy up beat and talkative, dont ask him too many full on qs, n just act like u dont even notice he is shy. I used to have to always start things with my ex but i didnt mind cos i knew it was just him n the way he was shy, he ended up opening up to me but he was never really open, they just aint those kinda ppl. but they do open up more once they know u n feel comfortable. just support him, help him out with conversation n if u feel his uncomfortableness quickly change the sub etc. just always be aware he is shy n try to do htings that help him out like talk bout things u know he can talk about etc later

I have a few previous posts for a cpl months n more in regards to this same ex but i will still give a brief run down for thos interested now.... My ex and i were together for 9 months, not that long, but we were close friends for a long time before hand, he was and still is my best friend i suppose......he broke up with me 8 months ago because he wasnt 'ready' to be in love in terms of being together forever and to him that is what being in love meant......i was his first gf, his first time sex also, he even made me wait awhile, like first guy ever to not wnat sex straight up, it was amaizng haha. anyways when we were together he had a spell of depression towards the end of the rship, and he isolated himself alil. I was really good and just told him to take all time he needed n i was here if he needed me, he ended up coming around quickly after that but he did continue to have his problem of NOT being able to exspress how he felt abotu things, not just me n our rship, but anything, his fmaily, his problems etc ANYTHING he was so shut off from being able to open up, he had suffered depression etc when in teens when he felt out of place etc and now at 22 hadnt got much better at opening up....he used to cry even when he tried so hard to tell me what he was feeling. sometimes at night when i asked him what was up with something he would reply ' hang on a sec' n then i would wait for him to answer but when he hadnt in like 10 mins of silence i would assume maybe he had fallen asleep but he hadnt , he was just STILL tryin to figure out how to exspress his emotions n open up, it wa scrazy n he HATED it n felt so bad for it, n he would try so hard to open up, it was hard watchin him try n not be able to, would break my heart. I was alwyas good tho, never pushed him or nagged etc, we just fitted, i accepted him n he did me........we got along great anyways when we broke up i luckily DIDNT chase him or ask for answers or call ec , i simply let him go, we went nc for a month when we slowly started to gain contact again, he would call me every few weeks until finally we met up again after being broke up for about 5 months i think it was........it was weird, was so different, i had moved on n i think he had to but i am not sure......so after this we didnt see nor talk for 2 weeks n then we started hangin out every cpl of weekeneds.......things have been goin GREAT, were very close again.......thing is i dunno how close...... im beginin to fele things again, not in a serious way but in a new start again from beginin way, not too serious yet or nuttin..........like ive just met him.........he comes over n stays until 5 am sometimes just chattin etc, n hes started personal tranin me and my best mate n my mum have both on separate occasions noticed the way he supposedly looks at me, saying hes just lookin at me with a deep sense of love, that he looks at me like he adores me so much.....sometimes he accidently touches my foot etc n leaves his hand there, n hugs me for long times, he also leans into me on the couch and flirts with me with tickles etc........the other week he used the exscuse of being too tired to walk home so he stayed the night with me..........but we have never kissed nor anythin else thing is when we broke up he said it was because he wasnt ready, that he needed to sort his crap out first, n he has done that now, he has new job ( one he wanted) and has moved out, has got money saved again and is happy al round , whereas before he lost his job n was strugglin big time with uni.......... see, i know for a fact (and i have always said this) that he wouldnt make a move on me even if he did want to get back together. i mean when we first got together it was ME who asked him out, ME who kissed him, ME who made first move etc, he was just wayyyyyy Way TOO shy n innocent haha.........n i think he would still be the same again now, even tho he was one who broke up with me......i remember when we were together i would say to him 'would u have ever asked me out if i hadnt of asked you?, he used to say yes, but i never really thought he would have, hes just so shy so what do i do? do i make a move? let him know i have feelings again n would like a new rship with him? or just go with flow knowing he will never make a move/bring it up? i know he may nto even have feelings for me anymore........but ahh well what do u guys make of all this? what do u think i should do?

im 99.9% sure its a boil. the most common of all places to get boils is on top of the crack on yoru butt, almost everyone who gets a boil, gets it thee. i myself have suffered from boils which started with an ingrown hair, but instead i had them in my arm pit, i had to go onto antibiotics as they tend to just get bigger and BIGGER and become extremly painful..........the wuicker you nip this in the bud n get on antibiotics the better TRUST ME.........do it now. they get big quick, like u said it wasnt event here this mornin n now it is........... you need to be careful if u do choose to leave it, as u can get blood poisoning, one of the times i got a boil ( i got 3 in row as my blood was bad) i wa sin japan n i left it, i got VERY sick and r said it was very dangerous to have left it as long as i did because u can get blood poisoning, and that i can die from. i left it long enough until i got massive shootin pain in my arm so bad i couldnt sleep n was livin on nurofen over the prescribed amount, they get very painful if u leave them......... just see ur dr, dont be shy, they so dont care, they see this stuff alllllll the time, because i took awhile to go to my dr each time i had to get my boils cut out, instead just goin on the antibiotics n that be it.........u dont wnat that so go see ur dr

wow, your an amzing kind person. i reckon your ex cried cos she sees you for who u r, alhough she left you. and although shes happy, she still knows completely what a great peson u r. my ex dumped me, i didnt dump my ex. thats why what im felein is weirder i suppose, cos isnt about me feleing bad or nuttin. i never hurt him. he hurt me. i guess i just fele bad that it didnt work out, even tho were both happy now. i still see him r who he is and thats this INCREDIBLE BEAUTIFUL KIND person and it kills me to think we arent as close anymore, but i dont wnat to be his gf either so its confusing why i feel this way. i fele guilty for havin moved on even tho of cours eits what i had to do and should have done. its all so silly. i want him be so happy, maybe i feel instinctively that he isnt happy n thta maybe he always thought ild wiat for him

i say this ALLLL the time. shes being a girl , a typical one in the sense that shes thnking its up to you, you asked her out so your the initiator. shes ayin we should def do it again sometime as in ask me again if u wanna do soemthing. shes playin it cool.......... whats the harm in askin her out again? atleats you will get your answer. if she says no then there u go..........i knwo time is a factor so maybe thAT is also why she said 'sometime'. just say hey when u get back lets .... or tonight wanna go out b4 ur finals or somehtin.........you will get ur answer, if she wasnt intrested she wuldnt have bothered sayin ' lets do it again sometime'........or answering your email at al

Hey all, Just a short run down, if wanna know more, check old posts.......theres a few haha...... my ex f 5 n half months ago and i were together 9 months when he broke up with me sayin he wasnt well enough ( depression) and that he needed to sort himserlf out, he was brutaly honest which is all i ever asked of him. we broke up ok, i understood as i hd seen how he wasnt coping and wasnt too well. i wanted him to be happy, whatever that cost. he was my best rship ever, constant love and devotion, caring rubbed my back when sick the lot, so even after we broke up we took alil time but of course stayed in touch. my ex is very shy, and was me who always made moves or started opening emotions etc.........i was able to read him so easy tho it never really mattered too much....... aaaaaaaaanyways fast forwad to now, 5 n half months later i saw him lst night, he had been wanting to see me and catch up......when we broke up i dealt the best i ever had, ive had enuff bad past experiences n guess got stronger, i had let him go........ when i saw him he had lost alot of weight, and i dont know what it was but i felt nothing, when we went to leave he walked me to my car, i gave him a pressie i had for him b4 we broke up n some photos of our time togethee as he had none.......i felt fine, so fine....... when i got home, i unexpectedly balled my eyes out, n havent really stopped, as soon as i think bout seeing him tears well up.........i dont understand it. i have met someone new i really like, i have moved on, BUT i love dhim so much, and now its like i sense he always thought we would somehow end up back together, like im scared maybe im now hurting him. i fele guilty and so sad that what we had is really over, i feel sad for him seieng that he hasnt changed much n nothing is really new........i feel sad that i had love dhim so bad n now dont..........i feel soooooooooooooooo very sad about it is this norm? i guess i just need to hear some views some words on this to help me. im finding this so hard, harder then breakin up, its takin everythin in me to stop myself rom callin him n sayin i need a hug form him..........its like im scared im goin to loose him completely now, its like im sad it didnt work out but i dont want it to have so isnt that weird???????? i lovehim so much but i dont want to be back with him, i dont understand. im so sad. i want to tell hm how i feel but how can i express this? how would he understand?

Im not sure how i feel about the term committment phobe either........... emma if you met ur dream guy do you honestly feel you would run away from him? is it possible these guys just arent right.? chai.......u say you dont believe the hollywod term commitment phobic and i agree alot of self help books on rships r just bull to me..........but then u say maybe emma is just scared of gettin hurt..........so is it that u do believe ppl can still run form rships IF they ares cared of other things such as gettin hurt etc but just do not believe in ppl being scared of commitment????? do you believe some things can hold ppl off being in rships tho even if they do wanna be with em etc?

I dont understand ?? you say you have committment issues, that this guy is great perfect you feel alot etc etc so its making you wnat to run but THEN you say how this guy u have secretly liked for ages has told you he likes you so you cant let this chance go............huh? sounds to me like you dont have commitment phobia AT ALL, your just tryin to believe that because the real reason you wanna leave your current bf ( for the other guy) makes you feel guilty. break up with your current bf because you do not like him enough, go out with the other guy, tell your now bf you like someone else............theres really no drama

is 8 - 12 months too long to fall in love? I feel it often takes me this long. but does anyone else? everyone says when im with someone like 6 months and im not in love yet that i prob wont fall in love with this guy BUT ive noticed in past with 2 rships i did, but it took awhile. how long has it taken you guys? has it taken anyone else longer then like 7 months? and if u did were u wondering if you would ever fall in love with them or do u htink this is quite ok and normal? thanks guys