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JC2006

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Everything posted by JC2006

  1. JC2006
    I can't help but think that you're leaving out some important details in your story ("long story short").
  2. JC2006
    Drinking is a crutch. Learn to walk unassisted. Overcome your fear. Why are you afraid of women? Are you afraid of being rejected? Or are you afraid of intimacy? There are many reasons that people are shy. What are yours? I used to be incredibly shy, but I overcame it. I still feel the fear most of the time, but I recognize it for what it is and learned to deal with it.
  3. JC2006
    You should not break up her relationship with her boyfriend. Why are you even considering it? I thought you said you were a moral person. Then again maybe I misunderstood your intentions. /shrug
  4. JC2006
    To love someone is to feel extreme positive empathy for them. Their happiness profoundly affects your happiness. Their sadness profoundly affects your sadness. Their emotional state and well-being affects your emotional state and well-being in like manner (plus-plus, minus-minus). To be in love with someone is to experience extreme emotions for someone. Someone's positive attitude towards you makes you euphoric. Someone's negative or indifferent attitude towards you makes you despondent.
  5. JC2006
    Loving someone is an extreme form of positive empathy. When someone you love feels happy, you feel happy for them. When someone you love feels sad, you feel sad for them. Their emotional state and well being affects you profoundly. Being in love with someone is an emotion where someone profoundly affects your emotional state. You're euphoric when you're in their presense and things are going well. You're morose when you're not in their presense or when you're there but they don't care if you're there or not.
  6. JC2006
    Yes, it is possible to be friends with someone you find attractive if that's all what you want. If you want her to be more than friends, I wouldn't recommend being friends with her, sorry.
  7. JC2006
    Leave him.
  8. JC2006
    There might be unusual things going on in your body that are causing you to feel the need to destroy yourself so strongly. Seek some professional help to see if you're having this problem. Suicide is not the answer to everything. You may have to ask yourself some difficult questions in the coming days. Why do you think people are tired of you? Why do you think your boyfriend stopped loving you? Why do you think you're so great at quitting things? I don't know what your religious beliefs are like -- you did mention God though. I will say this: no matter how bad you think you're feeling right now, an eternity of regret is infinitely worse. Forever is a very, very long time.
  9. JC2006
    Breaking up with your boyfriend was not a bad idea. Keeping a man around because you're lonely and "need" a boyfriend, not because you actually want to be with him -- bad idea. If you've run out of friends, make new ones. Be prepared for some, perhaps many, of the new people you meet not to be good "friend" material. Also, if you feel like you aren't good friend material, work on that. If you don't think you're someone worth getting to know, become someone worth getting to know. It will require effort, and it may require change, but it's not impossible, and it's worth it. Neediness repels people. Many people want to enjoy the time they spend with other people and not feel like they have to be around because the other person needs them to be around. If you're needy, the kind of people you'll attract are people who will take advantage of your neediness to use you. It's ok to feel lonely in your situation. Everyone feels lonely sometime. Don't let that loneliness define you. Find something positive about yourself, work with it, build on that. Make a plan to improve your life and stick to it. I can't give you hope, but you can find hope on your own if you try.
  10. JC2006
    It's normal to get anxious. If she is old-fashioned like you say, be a gentleman, but always make it clear how you feel about her. Smile! Hold her hand as often as is appropriate. Don't overdo it, but embrace the opportunities to let her know how you feel about her whenever and wherever you can. Just show her a good time and don't forget to have fun!
  11. JC2006
    Find a safe outlet for your anger. It's ok to be angry. It's not ok to do something rash because you're angry. The consequences of such action are worse, and you'll wind up regreting it later and longer after the anger's gone. I like physical actiivity for working out such emotions, like hitting baseballs in a batting cage or golfballs at a driving range. Some other things to do are to exhaust yourself running on a track or swimming laps in a pool. Not only do they get your mind on other things but the workout's good for your health and physique (to help you attract the next woman in your life) and your body chemistry is producing endorphins to help you manage your emotions. If you're not the physical type, find a remote spot with absolutely no one around and just yell. Incoherent yelling or cursing all the things about your ex that are making you mad. Just get it out of your system.
  12. JC2006
    That's baloney. The real reason is that you would rather not be there to see their feelings being hurt. Better for them to find out later when you're not around. Nothing wrong with that, but at least let's be honest.
  13. JC2006
    Drop her for now. Find someone else. If she wants to still be friends, leave it up to her to make the effort. Move on.
  14. JC2006
    It's good that you found out about this before you got married. I beg to differ about you not being able to compete with this 19 year old girl. You're actually there with him; this basketball player is just a fantasy. If anything, if he was sending her emails, he's just creeping her out with no chance of having a relationship with this girl. She's a college coed with plenty of available young men in her vicinity on campus; what makes you think that she would even consider your fiance for a relationship or even a fling? Maybe the two of you should go see your therapist and talk about this. Think of it as pre-marriage counseling. Oh and FYI, it's not really cool to snoop on your fiance's PC to see what he's up to. Try asking him about it first next time.
  15. JC2006
    Everyone gets nervous. It is important to realize that that fear of rejection is natural and to overcome that fear. Confidence is not being fearless. Confidence is overcoming your anxiety and you being in control of the decisions you make in your life, not fear making those decisions for you.
  16. JC2006
    Feh, this is lovemaking, not poetry recitation. Keep it simple with short but sweet compliments and expressions of what good emotions you are feeling for her. "I love being with you." "You are so wonderful." "You feel so good." Sometimes you don't have to say anything. Just look into her eyes and smile. Rub noses (eskimo kiss). Hold her gently or tightly in your arms. Caress her. The point is not to impress her with words but to be intimate and passionate. Help her see that you enjoy being with her and that, at that particular moment, there is nowhere else in the world you would rather be.
  17. JC2006
    You lucky dog you. Congratulations!
  18. JC2006
    Women can be just as fallible and confused as men. All people are different. All you can do is pay attention and learn.
  19. JC2006
    Nothing wrong with only being attracted to beautiful girls or with wanting them not to have been sexually promiscuous or even a virgin just as long as you're aware that, in this day and age, you're making your search for Miss Right difficult. Perhaps more difficult than it needs to be. That's your prerogative though. Good luck on your quest.
  20. JC2006
    The concept of only one person being your soulmate is hogwash. Although there may very well be one person in the world who is the most compatible with you in the whole world, there should be several that are as close to being your soulmate as you could want. There are plenty of valid reasons for you to end a relationship with someone. Not being your soulmate isn't one of them.
  21. JC2006
    sandman, I totally know what you're talking about. Try going out with some of the women who might say yes. One of them might surprise you.
  22. JC2006
    Normal, yes. Safe, maybe, maybe not. Enjoy!
  23. JC2006
    Try to be clear to her about your intentions, and let her know that you're uncertain of where you stand with her. That's the truth as far as I can tell from your posts.
  24. JC2006
    This isn't about incest, wiseguy. It's about maturity. Then again, maybe you're too young to understand.
  25. JC2006
    Boys are looking for a mother. Men are looking for something else.
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