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Msnak

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Everything posted by Msnak

  1. Msnak
    My idea-- he is a scared, controlling and uncertain man. You are taking things slow, which is wise, but he's trying to watch your every move, like that Sting song. Isn't that the slightest bit scary? Do you feel he's threatning? Is he behaving nice when he questions you about where you've been? You might want to let this guy go. He has some issues with women, possibly. While I can't say anything for sure, since I don't know him, this case seems like he wants you but not in the right ways.
  2. Msnak
    Wow...you're good. Your ability to write and express yourself a truly a gift from God! That's absolutely beautiful.
  3. Msnak
    jl301: You're welcome to send me a PM anytime. You know it's her loss that she doesn't see a really great guy in front of her. Yet, I also know that it was a good thing she came out and told you, instead of not saying it. It hurts. It stings, and it probably feels you'll never recover. But these words, as cruel as they are from her, will help in the healing process for you. I wasn't so lucky, my last serious relationship had no official ending, which actually worked against me and my attempt at moving on. There's no consolation for what you feel, other than time. And maybe, if you have some cheerful friends, try and stay around them. I know what you mean, saying that school will be hard to focus on. I'm working on my MBA, and without it, I swear, I wouldn't be as strong as I am now. I've used it as a crutch, mostly to suck up time that I would've been spending thinking about my ex. I'll keep you in my prayers, ok? -Msnak
  4. Msnak
    If she is in a burden, watch and listen carefully to see if she views you as a life preserver, a way out. I hope not. That's the vibe I'm getting. Then again, she could just be venting. Only you can judge this. If it feels like you're begging for her time and presense, step back and let her come to you. It might be a diversion for her, something to make her feel better about her situation. But you deserve to be more than someone's diversion. Has she said ANYTHING about what she might be feeling about you? Does she speak lovingly of the ex? (She is tied to him...feelings can pop up.) Is the very thought of her affecting your day-to-day functions? You might need a break, even if she's suddenly saying that the past weeks have been torture for her. What about you?
  5. Msnak
    Wow, thanks for the update. Good to know that she's come to see you for the great guy you seem to be. More importantly, you proved to her that she's wanted and that you're the type of guy who stays in a woman's "corner." It seems it might be hard for her to overcome what other people's perceptions of her, her relationship decisions and her work reputation. But in the end, no one else's opinion or thoughts really matter. May you two find love and happiness together.
  6. Msnak
    Goofy--yours is a message to remember. Thanks for sharing and teaching us something so true.
  7. Msnak
    That sounds really accurate. I know a girl now, she gets calls once a week from her ex. She'd love to end up with him, but he will not get serious about it, so she's dating other people. He's about to lose all her trust, if he won't soon make up his mind. He's now analyzing things and seeing that she's worth a third shot. They've broken up twice, now. I haven't left any guys on really bad terms--so far, in my dating experiences. Though they've nearly burned bridges with me! I have let a bit of time pass, only to go after someone and try it again. But it had to be 50-50, and it was, but things kept getting in the way.
  8. Msnak
    LOL! No problem. At least you're aware enough as a person, to think things through. There are lots of people your age who still don't!
  9. Msnak
    Very true and to the point. I should not overthink it! I wonder if women or men do this the most? Hmm. In my life, it seems to be the men that get curious and make reappearances. In my life, and for my friends and family.
  10. Msnak
    I agree! But..... I wonder how this works...divine intervention aside...which person has to be compelled enough to go after someone? I mean, unless you run into someone unexpectedly, it takes some effort on someone's behalf. Part of me wonders, what if both parties of a broken up couple are too scared/shy/dumb to call the other person? Does that necessarily mean it's not meant to be?
  11. Msnak
    You're analyzing things, that's always good. You summed it up and you seem ready to move on. Plus, you seem to have noticed that it takes TWO people in a relationship to do good or do bad. You seem as if you've learned a lesson and that you'll carry it with you as you move forward. Grade: A Good luck!
  12. Msnak
    Distant how? Not staying in touch? Not being as open? How long has he been divorced? Is he much older than you? Does he have kids? Did he leave his wife, or vice-versa? How long have you two been together?
  13. Msnak
    Yeah, the wife lost lots of weight (she was already tiny) and the husband went off for some younger woman. They got a divorce, then he wanted her back. Her adult kids were devastated, one was getting married and postponed her wedding. I know some really dysfunctional folks, but they seem to keep their marriages together. Ooh, maybe we should all go back to the one partner we mismatched with the most! (Kidding!!)
  14. Msnak
    It seems your husband is a good care-taker. An upright person, but a person who lacks any passion for anything. Hobbies? Friends? Even a type of food that he might love. It seems he could be depressed, even. Do try to talk to him for some answers. I noticed that your description of your husband doesn't have any other traits that many women might like in a man. More emotional things, I mean. There's no mention of him being "patient" or "kind" or "funny" or "considerate." He seems very business-like in this marriage, doing his duty to care for you on a financial level and that's it. I would say to talk to anyone who might be a good resource for you. We all hope you find some solution to this.
  15. Msnak
    I have to say, I've been guilty of not calling guys and I felt AWFUL for it. It happened in my early 20s. I'm wiser and more considerate now. I've since made it a practice to tell someone exactly what I think. "I like you" or "I don't think we're a match." It's the best thing to do. And you would think the older we get, that we wouldn't have this problem anymore. Everyone is different, but to end something in a decent manner...that's just fulfulling the Golden Rule.
  16. Msnak
    No, there are a lot of shy guys who would LOVE for a gal to chase. I have verified this with my guy friends, co-workers and family members. But guys also probably get scared off as much as women do. So there has to be an even balance. Chase, but not hound. There is a difference. But many posters on this site have discussed the societal expectation that men are supposed to do the chasing. But, do you ever consider how often men get rejected, and they do most of the asking out? It's enough to make a guy "gun shy."
  17. Msnak
    Good grief, I can usually figure lots of stuff out, but I'm too darn sleepy! LOL! Maybe the suspense will allow us all to benefit from further poetry? I won't even try to wrap my brain around this...but someone will. Velma! Freddie?
  18. Msnak
    Well, let's not doom it all. There is a chance that he is so comfortable with the way things have been, he doesn't want to risk changing them. Do you feel brave enough to initiative physical touch? A little at a time? The email is a good start. Continue the discussion with him. Maybe try face-to-face talking. It sounds as if he doesn't really make much time for you. If divorce is not an option, don't let that destroy hope for change. Anything is possible, so don't give up. He sounds like he will need some persuasion. Are there male friends of his that he might be influenced by? It doesn't sound as if you have anyone to talk to about this. That's why the counseling idea might work, if it's something available in your culture. Is he much older than you? What are the characteristics about your husband that you like about him? Can you remind him verbally, with compliments, about these things you admire about him? I heard someone say that if you want change in your relationship, you have to start it, not the other person. Even if the other person is at fault. Hope this might help.
  19. Msnak
    Over my life, I've noticed how the couples that seem "lovey-dovey" and perfect in front of everyone -- are the same ones that seem to break up the most? One couple I knew celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary with a renewing of their vows--broke up months later. That felt so weird to watch.
  20. Msnak
    Luz, unfortunately, your last sentence raised a very good point. It hurts, though, doesn't it?
  21. Msnak
    RayKay--Ok the way you list everything, that's how I feel. You articulated it well! Cool!
  22. Msnak
    Dako, you're awesome! LOL! I would risk ... boy, I can't even answer that! I must be selfish! I won't risk my health or life goals. I don't like my career so much, but it's still something I value. Yup, I'm selfish! I would risk looking like an idiot, though. Not looking desperate, though. There's a difference. Maybe I have to meet the right person before I answer this?
  23. Msnak
    Does this man ever want children? Sounds crazy, but maybe he doesn't. Maybe he isn't interested in women. Maybe he's asexual. Cheating. Not wanting sex with you. Has issues with women. I could go on. Will he answer any honest question that you pose to him? If so, ask him. If not, would he try counseling with you? If you're not feeling good about this relationship, it will influence bigger aspects of your life, it's best to try and do something about it.
  24. Msnak
    Well, it seems she's being brief. Most women are kinda long winded when we get a guy's attention after time has passed. This could mean she's lost interest or she's mad. Or, she's pressed for time. I wouldn't read too much into it. Call her. See if her tone of voice matches how she "really miss(es) you" and make your decision today or tomorrow, that way you can move on, if needed. --My 2 cents.
  25. Msnak
    LOL! It's like "Scooby Doo" with the mysteries. Love the Poem, Alter! Perhaps you've got a hero complex...live your real life without your mask, eh?
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