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sonja

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  1. sonja
    I just found out that my bf had been cheating on me even when we were together. Some of you who have read my previous posts already know that I was in a relationship with this guy for the past one year and I broke up with him because things didn't feel that same. But I could never imagine that he would do this to me. All this while I had this faint ray of hope that things will turn in my favor eventually, that we will get back together again. Now i am shattered. I don't know what to do. I feel betrayed. I feel angry. But most of all, I feel hurt, very hurt. sonja
  2. sonja
    Please don't hurt yourself. Your pain is fresh and your emotions are strong. Take control even if it hurts. Go and talk to a professional. Your life is very valuable. Treasure it. sonja
  3. sonja
    I hope you are feeling better now. I have never been married but I do understand your pain. it is not easy to get over it. I really hope that things work out for you. sonja
  4. sonja
    Hi Tears, You have tried to help me so much so I couldn't just stop myself from replying to this post. When people we love leave us for someone, the part that hurt us most is........." that's all my love was worth? that's all he/she cared for?" But trust me, even with huge feelings of depression within me right now, I know that the love that we showered on them was priceless. It is their misfortune that they never realised it. So if your ex chose a scum bag, think of it as her misfortune. And i know that its very easy to give advice, but when you are lonely in that room with all your memories intact, none of this helps. But I hope you will feel better soon and so I hope the same for me too. sonja
  5. sonja
    I really wish time heals. Otherwise I will never be the same again. I broke up with my boyfriend a week ago and is in constant pain. At first I thought I will get over it, I will be strong, I will never let myself down, I will go on with normal life. But the more I tried, the more I crumbled. Now I am in a state where I feel only pain. I can't sleep or eat. I don't even know why I am living. sonja
  6. sonja
    Don't worry about the fact that she has got a life filled with friends and support of others while you are lonely. This will only make you feel lonlier. 25 years of togetherness is a long time. Its difficult to get out of that feeling of companionship in a few days. So what you are experiencing is perfectly normal. Making new friends take time. Keep your mind open, if there's any activity that interests you, then you may want to join a club and pursue that and in due course of time you will meet like minded people and will be able to develop a bond with them. I hope this helps in some way. Wish you the very best, sonja
  7. sonja
    I thought I could get over this feeling a lot sooner than others do. I did not know how much I loved him until now. He is not around anymore. And I am filled with nothing but void. Just don't know how long I will carry on like this. My life seems so perfect on the outside, yet I am living every moment wishing I need not see the next. I wish I could get rid of this pain somehow, maybe inflict a bigger pain on myself and temporarily forget this one. I can't carry on any further. sonja
  8. sonja
    I am so glad that you are ok. sonja
  9. sonja
    Geez, I can't agree more Gilgamesh. I have this feeling of hopelessnes as though the world has come to a standstill for me. I feel no emotion at all except unbearable pain. I cannot get over my ex although I try to. I have been told by friends and others that no man is worth this, and that I should try and move on. My question is, where do I move on? Is there a place where I can hide myself and this pain will not find me there? So all I am left with is this empty feeling. I do my daily job, go on with my routine like a machine, yet deep inside I am bleeding. sonja
  10. sonja
    Be confident. If your guy loves you and you have full faith in him, she can't do anything. So enjoy life. Besides relationships are based on trust. Please remember that. Don't let this other girl spoil things between you too. sonja
  11. sonja
    Your boyfriend has a very secure and permanent notion of love. That security is based on his upbringing, namely, the perfect relationship of his parents and grandparents. It is a good thing in a way because he believes in a "happily ever after" kind of relationship. This is also the reason why he is so unsure to take the next step. He needs some sort of assurance from you. You may want to tell him that even if there is a problem between you two after marriage, your love will be strong enough to overcome it, that you will sort it out together. He should know that no relationship is free of worries and troubles, yes, even the most perfect ones. Those who know how to tackle their problem in a mature way come out as winners. I hope this helped. Wish you the very best. sonja
  12. sonja
    You are very right to feel upset at this moment. But I don't think she was misleading you the whole time. I think what you should do now is cut all contacts with her for a while and wait for her next move. Its going to be difficult. But you have tried your best by sending flowers etc. Now its her turn. If she really cares for you, she will realise soon enough, and try to get back with you. Whatever you do, don't push yourself too hard. Hope this helps, sonja
  13. sonja
    Take things slow, get to know her more, and then when you meet her eventually, you won't be up for a surprise. Hope things work out for you. sonja
  14. sonja
    You meet someone, you fall in love, and everything is so perfect. Then one fine day things crush right in front of you. You try to pick up the pieces and build your castle once again, but in vain. It keeps crumbling down time and again. You don't want to give up, so you keep trying. Why does love have to hurt so much? I was told as a child the love is a virtue. Its the best thing that you can give someone. I did too. I loved him unconditionally. And then I opened my eyes and it was all over. I am asked to lead a normal life, to go back to my regular routine, do my regular job, and then it seems I will find true love some day. What is true love? What I experienced was so true, so real, so beautiful, so surreal. It made me complete. I felt beautiful. I never asked more from life. It was as though I had everything. And now when I come back to an empty room, I feel scared. Scared that I might hurt myself. Scared that I will not be able to breathe anymore. And then deep in the night, without my knowledge, I fall asleep only to wake up the next morning with the same lingering pain. sonja
  15. sonja
    She is playing games with you. She probably doesn't even know what she wants. Don't bother, just move on. It will hurt for a while, what the hell it will hurt for long, but you deserve much better. All the best. sonja
  16. sonja
    It is perfectly normal to feel scared. Get a test done however terrified you are. It is very simple. If it is possible, confide in a friend, that way you will have her support. There's every possibility that you are not pregnant. Your menstruation may get delayed for various other reasons. The lubricant that you are experiencing could be an infection or could be due to stress. All the best. sonja
  17. sonja
    I was so down and depressed after my breakup. I would have killed myself but then guess what? My boyfriend called me today and asked me if we could work things out. But this time I wouldn't let myself get hurt all over again. So I stayed strong. I told him as much as I loved him I will never be the same again. And i could do this because of you all. Thanks to all of you. I still am terribly upset but i know that I will get a grip on life very soon. I also know that there will be times when I will not be able to move on any further, that life will seem incomplete. I know its not easy to get over. But I took my first step. a special thanks to Trinity and Tears of a Dragon, sonja
  18. sonja
    I broke up very recently and both of you have been very kind to understand my problem and guide me the right way. I know exactly what you mean. Everything around me, favorite song, favorite movie, my room, everything seems to remind me of him. I think the reason behind this is somewhere down the line when the relationship was perfect, we attched everything with our partners. We believed that this would last forever. There's nothing wrong with that belief but when it comes crushing down the hurt it causes is unbearable. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel and no you are not an idiot; just someone sensitive who is taking time to get over the feeling of hurt. I fully understand how you feel, I so wish I could help you, but I am in the same boat. I just hope that the saying, time heals everything is just not a mere saying. Regards, sonia
  19. sonja
    Hey, however much it hurts you I guess she wants to throw it all away. She has probably moved on and specially with her history of cheating, don't let your self be that vulnerable again. you have a daughter together and if she fails to understand the importance of having a father full time in the life of her child, you can't do much, can you? As far as her disinterest in sex, I think she is making excuses. Confront her and reach a decision, trust me, its better that way. I hope this helps. sonja
  20. sonja
    I dont' think your voyfriend has committment issues. I rather believe that he has this perfect notion of love, idealistic to an extent. You don't need to try any harder, you love him and that should be enough for him to commit. Surely he loves you and so does his family. Be very open with him and I am sure things will work out great for you. I really hope it does. Best of luck, sonja
  21. sonja
    I am trying my best to be strong and I know I will probably be successful eventually specially with all the help from you folks. Thanks a lot for your care and concern. I have a few questions to ask though. This pain will go away, won't it? I don't want to get into any relationship or even casual date right now. I want to take things very slow, get over the hurt which seems impossible right now. Does time really heal? Secondly I have this great job in UK, I am a nutritionist, should I take it? Right now I am in the USA. I was very excited about it initially because we had dreamt of a life together. My boyfriend was always very supportive of it and the worst part is my workplace is just blocks away from his business establishment. I think its a bad idea to take up this job becasue it will cause more hurt in the long run. Thanks again, sonja
  22. sonja
    Looks like he wants you but doesn't want to give up on his ex either. Maybe he is just weighing things right now. Take things slow, act cool, and don't show him your real emotions. Also try and keep an eye on what his real status is with his ex. Wish you all the best. sonja
  23. sonja
    thanks so much guys. although your words make sense, life seems to have reached a complete halt. i dont know how i will carry on anymore. we dreamt of a life together,i know he tried his best, i dont blame him, dont feel any animosity towards him. just that it seems like my all so perfect life does not exist anymore. i dont feel like going out cause i believe that he was the most perfect one for me. i end up comparing others with him in my mind and no one seems as perfect. i am devastated.
  24. sonja
    i broke up with my boyfriend in uk after a one year relationship. i am in the usa and we had everything planned, marriage, kids, career, places we will see together. although it was a long distance relationship i stayed committed all along. he did too for a long time. but suddenly last december i got this call from a girl in uk saying that she has been seeing my boyfriend for a while now. when i confronted him, he agreed, apologised profusely, and tried to make amends to the best of his abilities. yet although i forgave him, i felt this permanent pain that he lied, cheated, when all i did was wait for him patiently. i truly loved him ad we had the most perfect chemistry which is why i am suffering so much now. i even got a great job in uk and decided to move-in with him. but i couldn't finally because the hurt was so much that i felt that i would spoil things for him if i continue without forgetting and forgiving completely. so finally i called it quits. ever since i decided to let go, i m hurting tremendously. i feel suicidal and dont know what to do. please help.
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