Kwothe28

Just when your vagina was out of state and was too much inconvenience for him to get to there? Hmmmmm... You fell for a player that wants to have sex with anything that has 2 legs and has a vagina regardless of their relationship status. The outcome you got was hardly surprising to anyone but you. Because again, you fell for his act.

She is BSing you. What she means by that is: I can go months without it, if it comes to doing it with you. Doesnt necessarily means she is getting it somewhere else(although I wouldnt exclude that as a reason). Just that, well, you dont “excite her” to do it. Sorry, but this is over as far as that part goes. And with it, probably the whole relationship.

Its not your sole responsibility to handle finances. Maybe your wife is SAHM, but still, many people work even after getting kids. Because you rarely can raise them on a single income. For example, you can work 2 jobs but still not have enough if you have stuff like debt, rent etc. No matter how much you try, if your expenditure is more than your income, you will be in trouble at the end of the month. And that is not solely your responsibility. You and your wife are supposed to be a union. Meaning that you both should work toward having enough at the end of the month. She being lazy and watching TV all day is not your mistake, its hers. If you want to maintain your standard she would have to work too. Otherwise you would have to manage your finances way better. Meaning maybe move to more affordable area if you pay rent or cut back on some other stuff like food or non- essentials like subscriptions on Netflix and other services if you have that. Other thing is, if you feel like you are not appreciated enough, that is because you arent. Your partner is suppose to be your support. Somebody who lifts you up after not getting the desired job or after hard life at the current one. That is the whole point of relationships and partnerships, its suppose to be something that makes your life easier, not harder. Your wife doesn’t make it easier nore even appreciate your efforts in maintaining mutual standards of living. Nore does she wants to help in those efforts by finding a job or probably even cutting back on things. Which doesnt make her a good partner but makes her rather somebody who you would probably do better without.

Given that you cant even see each other once, I would forget about all of this and focus on something more realistic then some guy that is in the army and that you couldnt see for years. I know that you probably have a crush there and see this as "somebody that is meant to be but never happened" but trust me, it isnt. And it will hinder you from pusruing something more feasable in the future.

I dont think you have to worry from your girlfriends side. But your friend is weird. Its common with that kind of types to behave in a toxic ways. For example, him going after her has complete sense given that he probably views this as some sort of a challenge and her as a prize. And that he probably likes her because you have her and he doesnt. Its a bit demeaning to your girlfriend, but he probably views it in that exact way because he is like that. Very bad friend with bad intentions. I would cut contact as much as possible.

Please dont send this. It does sounds really, well how do I put it nicely, “too much”. I am not against you saying that to any woman. But it’s way too patronizing. So much so that I immediately know without knowing anything else about the case, that you are in a friend-zone. You putted her on a pedestal, you think she is all that etc. Which is again, fine. But you wont attract her with that kind of a behavior. Simple: “I am sorry to hear that, hope you bounce back” is more than enough. And not on social media, where everybody can see this. Nobody writes stuff like this on social media. And the one that do, well, they get put on a blast. For a good reason. She wont feel comfortable with you writing that and others who see would probably make fun of you. I know you maybe think this is appropriate response to her post, but trust me, you dont want to do that.

How is this cheating? You guys broke up, he moved to another room, told you that you arent going to back together, in between tried nothing to get back together just like he said, and moved out when he found somebody else. Maybe you expected him to get back together because he stayed in house because of finances. But he was very clear from the start that it wont happen. And he really cant read minds to know you still wanted to get back together. He had no obligations toward you since you arent married and you broke up so he can do whatever he wants. Only obligation he has is toward your kid. And I would suggest to work on that. Meaning splitting custody or even getting alimony.

Liars and cheaters stay liars and cheaters. You really cant expect the person who lies for the convinience sake, not to lie for convinience sake later on. he got used to lying to get out of the stuff. I mean to fake the house move just because he said fake adress to you? Who does that? Did he thought you would "stalk" him? I really dont get it. Same with stuff like inventing debt so he wouldnt take you to another vacation. That kind of behavior wont go away because he has gotten too comfortable with it. Every time when its inconvinient to tell the truth because he would have to do something he doesnt like, he just lies by default. Even for small stuff. You would never get honesty from somebody like that. And it would be best to just move on.

If the norm is to jump in the well before dating somebody, would you do it? I have a theory about "D pics" for example. And that is that nobody would try that move if it didnt work out sometimes somewhere. If those men were not getting positive affirmation from at least some woman, they wouldnt be doing it at all since they would know that it wouldnt work. But like this we are left with people who dont have a "limiter" when it comes to interactions. Same with just saying sexually explicit stuff. Keep in mind that you are basically on "hookup apps". Where lots of people are there specifically for a hookup, and not to find meaningful connection. So their language is adjusted to that. Asking you sexually explicit stuff or even just straight up asking for a sex after 2-3 messages is something that you will encounter rather frequently. I asked about the well jumping because every person has their own limits with who they are comfortable. If your friend likes sexting and has that kind of behavior on apps, doesnt mean you do. Nore that you should follow if you arent comfortable with that. Set your own limits and dont follow a trend.

I feel like you dont see the woods from the trees. Condom thing is largely irrelevant when she is literally in love with another man and just waited for him to end his relationship so they can be together.Good thing you ended it. Sadly, you were the 3rd wheel in there.

Are you fine with sharing her with 2 other people? Because I can promise you those men dont take her out to talk to her lol Get out of there. She is not conflicted with her emotions, she is on a "D carousel" after she got out of long relationship. You dont need that in your life unless you just want cheap fun.

OK, but you do understand that she isnt suppose to yell insults at you and try to actively physically scar you for life with throwing glass objects at you? You do understand that? I am asking because its your first serious relationship. People without too much relationship experience sometimes think that is how relationship works. You know, you spend time together, all is good but sometimes other side gets mad at you. So you let that kind of behavior slide for the sake of relationship. While its true that you do sometimes should let some things slide, it isnt suppose to escalate to the point she insults you and throws stuff at you to hurt you. That is abusive relationship. In fact, if I would bet, I would say she got used to that kind of behavior. Meaning to get what she wants even if she has to yell and throws objects. You just didnt see that before because a) you are not very long together and people are at their best behavior at the start of relationship b) she is only now showing her true colors Cancel the wedding and get out of there. She would probably beg you not too and how she "loves you", but if you continue with this, you will sign yourself to years of domestic abuse. You can do better then this. Also, who is paying for "Bridezilla" wedding? You? Or she contributes also? Because again if I have to bet I would bet she doesnt contribute nearly as much as you. In your home nore for the wedding.

I for one dont care if he is promiscuous. He can have a child in every harbor as far as I am concerned. But did raise an issue about his intensions about raising the kid. OP and probably even him dont have plans of living together. And OP thinks his 6 figure income is enough to cover for some things. Bit he seems to not involve himself too much as a parent. He doesnt know what half of his kids are doing. Heck he doesnt know where one of them even is since mother gave it for an adoption(dunno about local laws but pretty sure he could take custody but again not sure he wanted to raise his secretary kid even though he is the father). All that behavior makes me think he wont be there for OP too much. And that she would be the one that would need to take care of the kid most of the time if not all of the time. If OP is ready for that role, sure. But she should at least know that there is a big possibility of him just not being there. Maybe not even financially. Again, dunno the law there, but sadly lots of men dont pay alimony here or pay it very low. But again she is sure she wont have problems there, so good luck.

You do realize how what you said it doesnt make sense? "Two people against the world" while you are both, lets check, oh, having multiiple other people to have sex and share those moments? One of the biggest leftist streamers on Twitch got divorced. From the woman he was also in an open relationship. Because she, get this, found some Swedish guy and he didnt wanted to share her. So she decided to leave the streamer. And that is one of the big misconceptions with "open relationships". Lots of you think that you can "go around" as long as you go back to each other. While in a reality, it doesnt go like that. Having sex and forming bonds with multiple people carries the risk of people catching feelings there. Especially when it comes to women who in lots of cases see sex as a form of emotional bonding. That is why "open marriages" have abysmal rate of success. Other thing is, you basically played yourself here. You wanted an open relationship. But caught feelings for somebody to who you were a passing thing until some other man becomes available. And when other man became available, you were casted on the side. Which wouldnt be a problem if you viewed all of this as a sex arangement. But again, you caught feelings there. Get out of there while you still can. Before you become a leftist streamer whos girlfriend is leaving him for somebody else.

Such a rookie mistake. You never tell them that you dont like their SO. Because they never choose you over SO. There is nothing you can do here. Its her first boyfriend and he knows how to manipulate her so its useless to reach out. If they ever break up, you can maybe support her then. But this is the lost cause for now. Sorry.

“She literally told me who she is and despite overwhelming evidence that proved exactly that, I didnt believe her”- You right now. First of all, you married a Latina. Might be a generalization but from what I saw at “90 Days Fiance”, they are hot tempered. Second of all, even despite knowing that, despite her telling you that and you seeing that in action, you decided to ignore that and even marry somebody like that. You made your own bed by ignoring the signs. And now are at the brink of divorce because of that. There is no help for what you are experiencing. Dunno if its “90 Days Fiance” situation and if she just wanted a green card. But as far as the marriage goes, this is not something you should put up with. So, divorce is a viable solution for your troubles.

Yes, women who are used to guys cheating on them or even worst beating them. But "nice" as defined by you is a bare minimum of that. Nobody wants an abuser. And everybody wants to be treated nice. And when people say "nice guys" they mean on Redditor mods "MLady" with a fedora guys. Who pretend to be nice but have an alterior motive to do so. For example look at OP. He thinks "being nice" is listening to his coworker who he likes. And that alone should get him her affection. It doesnt work like that. Him listening to her is nice. Him listening to her just so she will like him is not nice. There is a matter of motive involved. For example if I give to charity, that is nice. If I give to charity so I would brag about it or so TV could make a skit about me, that is not nice. Do you get the problem with being nice and what OP was doing? That was opposite of "nice". Even with how you define it.

I mean, he basically did. I dont believe his girlfriend would condone him making a pass on you or even just playing a wingman. Even playing a wingman is a "murky waters" territory. How would he explain that to her? "My buddy needed help so I started talking to this woman"? I dont believe that would fly lol

I fail to see how he doesnt respect you without a concrete example of that. "Doesnt give me full attention" and "he doesnt get up early in the weekends to see me" is not really a sign of disrespect. For all we know you could be somebody who demands attention all the time. Which would be on you. So again, without a concrete example of that, I fail to see how disrespectful he is.

Creepy? Eh, nothing creepy is going on as far as we know. Weird? Yes. Some parents and kids have an unhealthy attachment. In this case it reflects on her pampering him to the point he hasnt gotten past kids stage even though he is full blown adult(18 is an adult in my country). So she needs to be at home to cook and clean for him all the time and he even goes into her bed like some kind of kid. Even though, again, he is far from it. Its certanly "red flag" dating- wise, that is for sure.

And your answer should have been "No thanks, I am more interested in the matchmaker". Reminds me on the story my Grandma told me. Guy walked to the girl at the party wanting to introduce her to his friend and the girl said that matchmaker line. I once did a date where the girl in question brought a friend. But mine did it because she got back together with her ex boyfriend and we already scheduled a date. Yours seems to be just interested in matchmaking, sorry. I was younger and thought it would be fun. At least I have an interesting story to tell out of it. But from this perspective, nah, would just turn it off today. I would recommend you do the same.

I am sorry, but dont expect some family commitment from someone who is like that. 6 figures or not, that guy is Elon Musk of making babies but not having relationship commitment lol

One woman once told me that when women say about how men are nice, they really meant "men are dumb". Its a simplyfied version of it, but in a way, it is a thing. See, women in general dont like "nice guys". "Nice" means that you let everybody walk all over you. At work, in a relationship etc. Its not an attractive property to have. Most women dont like somebody who patronizes them. It means that you dont have your own voice and that you are way too passive. Far that you need to be somebody who would want to be just "me, me, me" all the time, but being so passive is just a big turn off for a lots of women. So they would rather go to somebody who is not somebody who lets everybody whipe their shoes of them. It maybe feels unfair to you, but it is as it is. I think that its good that you are in therapy. It maybe makes you confront with that and maybe in the future be more assertive. It would help you in the long track in life and by the extension, in dating too.

Optimal position lol. There is no such thing, she likes you and that is the only "optimal position" you should take for now. Just ask her for a date now. No waiting and playing games. She likes you so she wont say "No" and you would have a date to see where its going.

I dunno, I would also be overwhelmed by somebody who wouldnt even allow me to buy coffee how I wanted it without preaching about "oh the chemicals and how I need to not gring it too fine or too course" lol If you wanted to buy vanilla hazelnut flavor coffee, just buy it. You dont need "Coffee Hitler" to tell you how to buy your coffee. And that is another thing. You find it overbearing because it is overbearing. You are afraid to tell him stuff because he will overbear you with informations and judge you because you didnt do it exactly how he wanted it. And that for somebody who is long- distance. I hate to see how would he be if you are dating in-person instead. Please rethink if relationship with somebody who cant even let you to choose your own coffee how you wanted it is worth it.