Kwothe28

Beneficial to you, not for her. You can have an open conversation with the person who wants to do that. With somebody who you ask "whats wrong" and she says "nothing"(though that is a default woman answer when you ask them that lol), you cant have an open conversation because its not productive. She chose to not meet you and just chose to detach herself by not answering to your messages in a timely manner. That means that she prefers to just not answer rather then to talk about it. "I am sorry, but this isnt working out for me and I am cutting contact" is enough of conversation there.

3 pages about the basic troll looking for attention. Do you even think that if he was "gym bro" with a perfect face no woman would ever talk to him? Somebody trolls us pretty hard lol

Depends. You would find somebody else, that shouldnt be an issue. But whether its better or worst from current, we dont know that. It could be one or the other. One thing is the truth, and that is that if you are not happy, you should leave. It would give both of you time to find somebody else. Both of you are very very young so you have plenty of time to do that. Its better now then in a few years. I have a friend. Him and his girlfriend lived together for almost 3 years and dated 4 or 5 years before that. Only for then to snap, to say how they dont function well(they really dont) and how she doesnt want a baby even though they tried for one. So now they broken up. Anyway, I think its way better to cut off things earlier if you see things dont work up. Then to wait for years and be at the same point. He may change and be more mature once he gets some job. But he also may not and you would always be mother figure to him. But in a meantime you would maybe lose years. Years who you could spend on getting out there and maybe finding a better match.

Reminds me of an old movie I watched as a kid. Guy has to decide between blond girlfriend and brunette girlfriend. Anyway, brunette asks him to sleep with her but just sleep in the same bed, no sex. Think bolnde one just has sex with him. He did go for brunette at the end though. 😁 Will try to find the movie when I get back at home. Anyway, I think it goes fine for now.

Means that you are fine with people around you having sex. Even if they are sex workers. Or else you are a prude and bigot or whatever “ist” and “ism” word they have for that. Also “foolproof pulling out method”? Did that guy, um, had a biology as a class in his school? Or he failed it just as he failed life? He just likes to have sex bareback and tells you whatever you would want to hear. Get rid of that one before he ruins your life. Also, “still married” but “serial monogamist” that cheats his wife with you and apparently sows kids all around the town? Yeah, that guy has never been faithful in his life and just wants more unprotected sex from you. Which you are happy to provide from some reason. He is rich, isnt he? 😂

You mean with your colleague? You do know that you could just leave? Or just do your job? You arent going to be molested when you literally have a choice of leaving. The way you presented it, people would assume that he chased you around the studio to molest you. Which is just untrue. Guy probably did a job just as you tried to do yours.

I dont think he “ghosts” tou since that would require absence of contact. However I do think he checked out. Just doesnt care anymore. Even the whole thing is just a fantasy. In 2 years you havent even seen each other. In that time, you should have at least concrete plan if you want to be together. Which mesns both of you just maybe need somebody to write you everyday and not to actually be with you. Which isnt surprising since you are both Redditors lol

https://www.enotalone.com/clubs Try with this. Join the “journal” section and you can write there

Well, you dont know anything about the guy. So you could ask from where he came. Or even what he works as he maybe relocated because of the job.

Forgot to write that I watched "Lifetime" movie about the case. He is trully disturbed individual. Though from what I gathered she became famous after the murder and wasnt famous before? People rarely believe in the concept of "change". Even though whole prison system works on the concept that the individual will correct its behavior once it comes through that system. And even though there are stories of people who did just that. So it is possible that the individual changes its patterns through time. But would you take the risk like that? Especially because there is a pattern of you being attracted to abusers. In a means that they turn out to be one. Also, are you sure its not just the case of you missing him because there are no better prospects in sight so far?

I like the idea but her country is rather cold one with interactions. Dont think it would be productive and they would just look at her weird if she does that lol Why dont you just strike up a conversation when you see him again?

No, its not unreasonable. You are in an abusive relationship. She gaslighted you that its uour fault because you did make a mistake, but in truth, there is no excuse for her behavior. Jealosy attacks, paranoia that you look at other women, name calling, threats, those are all signs of her abusive behavior toward you. And I would suggest to leave her as fast as possible. This wont end and you eill feel physically and mentally sick the entire time. Unless you take a concrete steps, leave her and block her on everything.

Thats a good one lol Is it a sperm donor baby? Or do you have a partner? Anyway, crying is OK thing to do. If you need to unwind or even have a stress item, go for it. I do think its kinda silly to hide when you are smoking though. If you think you are the bad influnce for smoking, then by all means dont smoke. Like this you are kinda preaching one thing and doing the other.

Ah, then its maybe even a a bi man or a woman. Or just a troll lol

But he doesnt. in fact, i guarantee you he only remembered you exist because he wants, hm lets see, more sex. Same with "Are you out drinking with friends" texts. Just more invitations for sex. That guy isnt interested in being your friend, nore in a relationship with you for that matter. He is just interested to get into your vagina again.

Welcome back. We have a “Journal” section now that people can read from and answer to you. So you maybe want to use that as an outlet for your thoughts.

And that is OK. Not everyone even wants to get married or have kids. Lots of people wants to pursue career by choice so they postpone the other part. Its often even incentivized to do that by companies. “You want to work here? Well you better not want to start a family soon”. Its not by law here, but they often ask on job interviews whether you have a family or plan to start one soon. Especially to women for a certain reason. Sadly, it’s still like that sometimes. But anyway, my point is that I dont think they lose all their value since it’s highly debatable. But that it is perceived differently. Take 2 women of roughly the same physical look where one is 25-30 and other is 35+. And see who would fair better in dating market regardless if the one of 35+ is better career-wise since she did had more years invested into it. Other thing is that 25-30 probably has better “dating network”. As she probably has all her friends still not married and has more opportunities to go out with them and meet men. Though that is also debatable now with dating apps and all. Which is an own problem by itself. Even worst is if you add kids into mix. It’s generally rough out there for single moms. I dont think men fair better after certain time also. I have acquaintance who is often depressed as he is fairly pretty, plays in the band but is also divorced with a kid with and a dead end minimal wage job. So he pulled a lot of women while he was younger but now he just doesnt. Its just that men can benefit with age and career choice in a dating market a lot. Women rarely do. I am not saying that having a career is bad since its clearly not. Especially for people who want one. Just that it often doesnt help or at all for dating. Also “Yo Mike, she has a full schedule “ is funny. 😂 Single. I did OK for a while. But did have a family emergency. So only now getting back out there.

Because he thinks that now he has a chance after months or even years of orbiting. Its not really hard to understand his train of thoughts but its also frustrating that he thinks like he thinks as it will just lead him into spiraling about someone who will never have the same feelings for him. Dating sites, OP? Really? She literally asks you about the opportunity for her to date and hookup with other men and you dont consider this lost and that you should abandon the idea of sating this person?

I dont think she said that, but she sure did ruffle some of your feathers with it lol ”Value” is a little hard to discuss. As it depends on a lot of factors such as societal norms or just individual ones. What has value in California doesnt have in other parts of US. Regarding anything, including values in dating. I talked about example of a woman in my town that complained to me how she needs to get married. As she lives in village and she is already “too old” there. She was 26 at the time. 26! In Capital that age is not so severe. So you could theoretically be 35+ and nobody would bath an eye. As everyone else around you is also 35+ unmarried. Also, I am sorry but generally speaking she has a point. Men don’t generally value your career choices. They usually dont care you are CEO. I am sorry, but that is a woman thing. But men would value you by beauty and yes even age of fertility. That both diminishes through time in general. I think waffle said it best on one other thread and how “Its man who value looks and women who value stuff like career. And how both genders make a mistake as they think what they value will get them success instead of pursuing what other gender values”. Its a bit rough, sure. But it does holds some truth in it. Ever seen a man say how he wants a “GirlBoss”? Ever seen a woman saying how she wants an “unsuccessful man”? We have a whole thread where woman said to a man how she wont date him if he isnt more successful. We dont have the same thread for men. We do have a bunch of ones where they pursue pretty unavailable women though. Also, also, welcome back Choco, glad you are back. 😁

I think this is true in most cases. For example I have a rich friend. He wanted his wife to be rich so he found a dentist who is also rich. But that is more because of the background then because of her career choice. Meaning that "rich" was the incentive(her father was also a dentist like his father so its more of a merger of businesses lol) and not her career choice. He could easily do without her career choice. Heck he even sometimes complaines that he wishes to get more "homecooked" meals for him and the kids from her, but she doesnt really cook that much(if you ask why he doesnt do that, well, he works almost all day sometimes, in state as well as private practice, she is the one that is more home). Which does make me want to explore this First one "boomer joke" apropo cooking skills for Bolt Two friends meet each other after one of them got married. First asks: Hey man, how does the marriage goes? Second answers: Horrible, I thought she would cook like my mother. And instead she just drinks like my father. 🤣 Anyway, we are more "traditional" here. So cooking is still regarded high. But even that becomes very easy to replace. Not only by restaurants(which are more expensive option) but with lots of "country kitchens" as we call them. For example there you can take freshly cooked beans(not that canned stuff) with bacon and lots of other "homecooked" stuff. For a bit more money than you would spend by making it at home. But today, it costs you time to do that. For example my grandmother was a tailor but worked from home. While grandfather worked at the linen factory(he brought her linen from factory to make dresses). But because she was at home, she could also have time to cook a meal. While I today couldnt do that for myself because I worked at the time of lunch. So I bought something. Tomorrow is a weekend so I would cook chicken with mushrooms. Anyway, times did change. Tomorrow I couldnt expect from my future wife(if I have one) to cook on working days of the week if she also works 8 hours a day, especially if she would do physical job. Hence why the need here for stuff like "country kitchen". People have the need for traditional homecooked meal(we dont do "McDonalds" and fast food at least not in the way Americans do) but have less and less time to do that. I also do think that roles did changed a bit and became too much mixed. So both genders do very differ from traditional gender roles. And think the question "do women even need courtship" is viable when, as mylolita pointed, its even frowned upon in some cases.

Also, yes, happy birthday. Cant edit the previous message now. Forgot to tell, what you are experiencing is very common for people who didnt get over their exes. It will get better as the time comes and you could then accept that its over and move on from him and the whole situation. But you will need more time to do that.

You feel that you lost “the one” at 22 year old? Oh honey, there will be plenty who would be “ the one” after this one. The whole concept of “The One” is silly. There is around 8 billion people in the world. If you are a great match with just one of those 8 billions, I would say that its on you because nobody is that special. Sure, you wont encounter 8 billion people nore you would mash up good with everybody. But surely you will find a plenty that you would. So “head high” as one of our members would said.

I think its more then that. Unlike older days, there is simply no incentive. There was a member of the Forum who posted a thread how he spent around 300 dollars(dinner, wine etc) on 2 dates. Only to get ghosted afterward by both women. They ofcourse never even offered to split. In a world where some women see men as a "meal ticket" and nothing else, there is no incentive for men to splash on stuff like flowers or dinners. It might have before, but today when women can just jump on a dating app, line up couple of dates and your date is labeled as "just some guy that buys me meal", it doesnt really pays up to get splashy. I mean, if that guy has 4 dates a month that is 600 dollars. For women who will forget he existed tomorrow. That is insanity. And sure, maybe some day some woman will appreciate his willigness to "wine and dine" her. But dont really think his wallet would until he finds it. So it gets excruciatingly painful for men like him to continue what they did before. So they make first dates just hang outs or something simple like coffee. As they are very low risk and even if a woman ghosts you tomorrow, you wont feel like she robbed you of anything other then maybe a bit of pride.

I wouldnt go for mental health issues, simply because there are a lot of people who are just like that by default. Meaning no mental illness, just dont have a drive to pursue career. For example I have an acquaintance that has a college. But has no job with that college nore tries to get it. But is with parents and they have their own home so he wont starve. Well at least for now as his parents are alive. But for tomorrow, most he can hope is to somehow get at least minimal pension somehow. Which is doubtful as he doesnt have a day of work as far as I know. He has a college so he finds demeaning to work anything bellow some level. So he just doesnt work. What I an trying to say is, there is enough people who are just like that. No need to involve mental health.

First of all, from your story I dont think its narcissism. Narcissists give a lot on self importance. They arent insecure because in their head they are the most important people on the planet Earth. Their word opens any door and there isnt a person who can resist them. At least that is what they think about themselves. They all have inflated egos, no empathy at all(for example dont believe true narcissist would even notice your eyes moving back and forth because they wouldnt care, you are just a thing for them to play with) and they are very easy to spot once you run into one true narcissist. Yours just isnt that. She is just a very unstable messy individual that influenced you in a bad way. Lots of people use manipulation tactics like "love bombing" to get what they want. Dont have to have a personality disorder to do that. Same with taking no accountability. Lots of people do that. Second of all, please dont contact her. You probably want that closure for yourself. You wont get that there. All you would get there is more drama and mess. Give yourself a closure by accepting that you made the mistake(if she doesnt have accountability doesnt mean you shouldnt) and that she wasnt what you thought she was. And by accepting its over and moving on from the whole situation.