Jump to content

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'casual'.

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • Relationships
    • Dating Advice
    • Relationship Advice
    • Infidelity
    • Online Dating
    • Friendship and Friends
    • Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender
    • Abuse and Violence
    • Long-Distance Relationships
    • Age Gap Relationships
    • Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships
    • Trust and Relationships
    • Marriage/Long Term Relationships
  • Breaking up and Divorce
    • Breaking Up Advice
    • Divorce Advice
    • Getting Back Together
    • Healing After Break Up or Divorce
  • Personal Growth
    • Personal Growth
    • Career, Money and Education
    • Grief Loss and Bereavement
  • Families
    • Parenting and Families
    • Pets
  • Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
    • Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
    • Suicide & Self-Harm
  • Sex and Romance
    • Sex and Romance
    • Pregnancy
  • Emotions and Feelings
    • Emotions and Feelings
    • Jealousy
  • General Forums
    • Forum Assistance
  • Journals's Journals
  • Journals's Private Journals
  • Off Topic's Topics
  • Book Talk's Topics
  • Travel and Culture's Topics
  • Poetry, Prose, Art & Photography's Topics

Blogs

  • Articles
  • Youtube
  • News

Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

Joined

  • Start

    End


Group


About Me


Mod Notes

Found 2 results

  1. So I’m seeing two boys. They both know of each other. After just turning 22, I realised I want to get out there and meet lots of new people. After a year of Qurantine and the year before being stuck in an extremely toxic relationship, fun is what I need. The first boy I met through my house mate. I told him straight away for the foreseeable future, I can’t find room in my life for anything serious. He vehemently agreed that he was in the same place, in fact encouraging we see other people. The second boy was an old friend from years ago that I always had a big crush on. He randomly reached out. I told him after he asked to see me that I was seeing someone else casually and he said that was fine he just wanted to see me as a friend. Things got a bit complicated after this second boy gave me a quick kiss after our great catch up. I need advice on where to go from here. I’ve been seeing both of them for about a 2ish months. Again they both know about each other and where I am with them. The first boy and I have had sex and have been quite intimate. He recently just confessed that he has fallen for me, and is feeling that this might be becoming “unrequited” (he is a really good person but also the sensitive artist type). It was very confusing for me as even tho I like him I can see some incompatibilities that aren’t just the fact that I’m completely not ready for anything serious. The second boy I really like and he has been as causal as I need. We haven’t had sex yet because he hasn’t made any direct moves on me in terms of sex or bought up anything about relationships. In fact he doesn’t really talk about how he is feeling at all! Except for casually saying things like “when I’m with you I’m so happy” referring to me as “the girl he likes”. The last time I saw him, we went back to his place where we had so much fun watching videos and giggling and laughing for hours. Nothing physical except flirty touching and cuddling. It got quite late so I told him I should leave. He got kinda awkward and kinda seemed like he backed off. Each time I stop us when we get physical he seems to get quite awkward. He kissed me before I left and said he had lots of fun. I messaged him later saying, I appreciate you never trying to make a move and respecting I want to take this slow and casually. He replied back saying “anything you want! You can set the pace for this” I sent him a joke in reply and he just liked my message and he has not replied since! It’s been quite a few days since he has messaged me. I feel the way I described the second guy makes him seem extremely shy but his exterior is not like that. Which confuses me. He is has a big, beautiful personality. So I can’t tell if he is shy around me or just annoyed with the boundaries I’ve set. I want to stay true to what I’ve said to both of them and not change how I act or what I want because I might have flutters of feelings for them. Should I follow up with the second guy even though he has clearly left me on seen and run the risk of seeming a bit desperate for his attention? Should I end things with the first even though he is so lovely yet perhaps a little incompatible? He wants to discuss how we could keep seeing each other but after changing things around for what he needs? If any of you can see, my attempt of keep things causal have not worked at all (this is my first casual experience too!!)
  2. Hello, I'm a student and I came here for advice about a sensible situation, thank you in advance for the answers, sorry for the lenght, this is quite complex but I just want to have an external opinion on the feelings I go through, the whole story is just to set the context. Trigger warning : abortion/ abandonment. 8 months ago (October) I met a man on a dating app, at first he seems to be open to discover each other around a coffee, and I was more into having fun. Our conversations were the simple/quite boring kind, but I give it a try as he seemed cute and I felt good and confident in my life. So we spent a first night together not planned but on an impulsive need to see each other late. Then wow I discovered a funny, smart and cuddly man. I’ve been hurt in the past due to relationships where I forgot myself in unrequited love so I decided to act “cool” and “casual” for once, thinking I could keep an hand on this He asked me two days after to see each other again but again I try to make myself mysterious, we saw each other a few days after, on a night too. Then I started to get attached and I felt he started to be distant. As I tried to get some news a few days after the last encounter, he never answered so things didn’t go on and I erased him from Instagram, only media we had to chat. I know this was immature but at that time I didn’t know him enough to trust him as we met twice in a month, at night, I thought it was just another ghosting from a dating app hook-up. Life went on, I rarely thought of him but some nights after a glass of wine when I felt lonely and I regretted my impulsive act. In January I saw him on another dating app, I matched, he had matched me so we talked again, and I asked him to see each other again, he seemed unsure which I understood. However due to serious personal issues I had to erase my account on this site and as I had erased him from Instagram we had no way to talk, but I was too mentally/emotionally busy to care. He finally found my Instagram account a few days later, dm me and insisted on us seeing each other again, seemed really implicated. I felt surprised in a happy way, it was the sunshine in a dark week and we saw each other on the following weekend. It was a great moment, he spent the whole weekend with me and we found back this complicity we had a few months before, talked his about silence and my reaction, it was a qui pro quo as he was living hard stuff he said. Then a week passed and no news, I started to feel angry… then he texted me on the weekend on a funny thing, I took time to answer but we chatted a bit and then no news. I tried to speak to him but he wasn’t really implicated in talking to me. I started to feel frustrated that’s when I realized I might want more than casual meetings and a few texts. I told him these feelings on a Friday night by text, he told me he didn’t want more than fun and it was never the case, telling me he thought it was obvious, I got hurt but accepted it. I told him that I could go above this and still fit into the casual stuff. after two times asking him for a night where he “couldn’t” then a month of no messages had passed. I tried to forget him, blaming myself for acting this needy and trying to identify my feelings. Then he texted me again to see each other, which made me happy but I was busy and it took a few days til I could even if I was thinking of him the whole time. It was great seeing him again, just to tell, he’s until now the best sexual partner I had and the fact that he’s cuddly and funny was so comfortable. He left, two texts about food on the same week-end and silence again. I tried to see him before quarantine hit the country, he couldn’t so I took time for me. Then the problem arrived, as I was thinking about not seeing him again because of this disastrous feeling of loneliness each time he left my house, I discovered I was pregnant. we made sure to be checked for STD, but due to hormonal reason I had to stop my pill while waiting to get an IUD, and this last time we saw each other, I checked my menstrual cycle. I thought of the morning-after pill but I trusted my cycle and dumbly thought that for the one time in my life w/o protection, I was safe. As you guessed, I found out I was pregnant, after a week of nausea and breast aching. I told him by text, Instagram was still the only way to chat, directly told him about my intention not to keep the child and he told me he was sorry, he wished me the best and that’s all. I got mad and after days of no news and thinking, hurting, I told him I wanted to talk face to face. He was okay and came and we had a long chat about my opinion, my feelings about this pregnancy, my anger, and he told me about his feelings toward this, for the first time I finally heard of what he could felt. It was moving, really sad, but he seemed concerned, encouraging and supportive, told me he’d be there. I felt better but when he left I felt even more alone, nothing was left to say, he even told me he’d be more careful with his next relationship which oddly hurt me. His choice was not to have a baby now, and with me, mine was that I couldn’t financially raise a baby, but I didn’t tell him that I was scared to abort due to the fact that it was the last thing that bonded me to him and that I was so mad that things ended up without my control, without my dignity, without my choice. Seeing him was so hurtful, I wanted to hug him so badly, we couldn’t help but smile to each other through the pain cause we still had this bond, I’m aware it was mostly pity in his case tho. However I felt in his eyes that he cared for me, in a way I couldn’t see when it was all that I was waiting. So I felt rubbish. Now you know, 8 months after what the situation is(April) and I feel so selfish to feel this way but I don’t know what I suffer most from the idea of losing him forever, as a I don’t really know him, than this idea of having to go through this traumatic event which abortion could be. I must mention that I have been abandoned as a child, because I think that it left me patterns, but I want to understand how could I be in such an emotional situation? I don’t think it’s love but it’s hurting me so much just to imagine him with another girl, while I know I while never open myself again, not after this experience. My only thought is that I wish I had took this morning-after pill just to have a chance to see him again, does that make me cruel and insane? What do you see in this experience? Sorry for the long long post...Feel free to tell me, try to not judge me and thanks for reading me, if you want further information feel free to ask. I I really need your help. (maybe this is in the wrong tag?)
×
×
  • Create New...